Said Casey Sanders, quoted in "Video goes viral after hunter finds naked man in woods" (WGN9), a story from 2014 that I ran across today.
After a couple of minutes questioning the man, trying to determine if his mental state was stable enough to approach, the man told Sanders he had been drinking creek water and eating rotten crab apples. He then asked the hunter if he had anything to drink.... For the next hour, Sanders helped the man out of the woods....
Why am I reading that today? Well, I was looking for an image — hopefully something in the high art category — that would fit the phrase "naked man in the woods." Most of the hits were about this video, though I did find this relatively nice painting by Edvard "The Scream" Munch:
But, you may wonder, why is Althouse looking for a high-art representation of a naked man in the woods. It's a long story, and, surprisingly enough, it has nothing to do with Jeffrey Toobin. It's too complicated to explain though. It has something to do with the definition of the word "fuck" that I was given by my sister when I was very young and that I lived with for a few years. A simple tableau: a man and a woman naked in the woods. That became a reference point in a discussion when we needed to make fun of a man with a name that rhymes with "fuck."
There. Don't you love incomplete explanations?!
AND: This post is for all you commenters who are saying Althouse needs to write about Hunter — Hunter Finds Naked Man in Woods.
Posts
29 comments:
Makes me think of the joke that was popular among my 13-year-old friends and ended with, "Yeah, I can see the mayonnaise crawling down your leg."
Sure it wasn't Jeffrey Toobin?
It's too complicated to explain though
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn'tunderstand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand...
"After a couple of minutes questioning the man, trying to determine if his mental state was stable enough to approach..."
This is breezed over *FAR* too easily.
How do you actually do that in 2020?
"The Scream" could be seen as a depiction of Masha Gessen's reaction to seeing Toobin "slamming the ham" during that now-notorious Zoom call.
The guy filming had, ahem, issues.
I am ashamed, ashamed I say, to call you people my friends. How can it be that no one has yet posted this?
Chuck, Chuck, bo-buck,
Bananafana fo Farles,
Fee Fi mo Muck,
Chu-uck!
"Naked Girl Falling Down The Stairs" has a little more depth and meaning.
Who would we make fun of around here whose name rhymes with fuck?
Stick around.
By next week Hunter may be the naked guy in the woods.
The story is of Joe taking bribes from foreigners for US government action.
I guess a bunch of naked men is high art?
It would be higher art if they were women.
You all know its true.
#METOOBIN
Old lady stand on the corner
With a purse in her hand
She does not know but in a minute or so
She will be robbed by a naked man
Beware beware beware of the Naked Man
Old lady lean against a lamppost
Starin' down at the ground on which she stand
She look up and scream
For the lamplight's beam
There stood the famous Naked Man
He say, "They found out about my sister
And kicked me out of the Navy,
They would have strung me up if they could.
I tried to explain that we were both of us lazy
And were doing the best we could."
He faked to the left and he faked to the right
And he snatched the purse from your hand
"Someone stop me, " he cried,
As he faded from sight,
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"
"Won't nobody help a naked man?"
Beware beware beware of the Naked Man
Chuck, Chuck, bo-buck,
I assumed the rhyming name was Buck, as in Joe Buck and Troy Aikman would rather our military pilots are off fighting foreign wars than home doing stadium flyovers.
Munch's first title of the painting was Woods/Peckers, but the Audubon Society raised a fuss.
Hunter finds Joe swimming naked in front of secret service agents-again.
They all have nice legs. :-)
Mary Beth said...
---
It seems Troy Aikman and Joe Buck are too stupid to understand that military pilots have to log so many flight hours to maintain flight status, and stadium flyovers are both PR and a way to get that flight time done.
I was fishing on a Colorado river with a friend when we happened upon a naked middle-aged man (his bicycle was nearby) who apparently was planning to flash the engineer of a passing freight train. He saw us, panicked, and ran off into the brush. We kept fishing.
mockturtle @ 3:15 PM: You haven't seen mine, babe. Nor what they lead up to.
Actually I did encounter a naked man in the woods once. I was out photographing and he was sunbathing on a rock by the stream. He became aware of my noisy presence and stood up, mercifully with his back towards me, and wrapped up in a towel. We chatted briefly; apparently he was used to doing this unnoticed. He told me about a faster way out of the gorge than I had been using. I thanked him and found his recommended route out.
I don't go there any more, it's private property anyway, technically (not his, it belongs to the Boy Scouts).
You spend enough time in the woods, you're going to see weird stuff. I could tell stories.
Chas-- Isn't flashing the engineer of a freight train a Federal crime?
I figure it probably is. Many things are, that we don't normally think of. I'm sure I'm guilty of several without even knowing it. Probably means a surprise for me down the road-- something to look forward to!
I do wonder if mooning him would count.
Perhaps the Dems should get cranked up about getting a quota for female freight train engineers. (Technically female, of course.) It would be more fun to moon them.
I bet they'd honk the horn.
Chas-- Did the fish seem especially excited about the worms that day?
Why are you referencing yourself in the third person? It's not a good look.
Third person, now, huh? I see others have mentioned it, but I find it off-putting. Your blog, though. Do what the hell you want.
Why are you referencing yourself in the third person? It's not a good look.
Not a good look and, if you're not royalty, not a good symptom.
Had an encounter in Quebec years ago. Canoeing down one of the many creeks, paddling between cows and such enjoying the cool water, we got to a portage point. So me and my bud hoisted the canoe to get around the obstruction, not necessarily quietly mind you. We burst through the vegetation where we were going to re-launch and there was a naked lady sunbathing on a rather large rock. She was attractive, but my wife was back at the cabin. She responded laconically with a 'oui, ca vas' or whatever the Canadian Frogs say to an introduction, she was resigned, but had to know we were coming, crashing through the undergrowth. As we were only 700 meters from the cabin, my pal was going back to continue the brief conversation. Except, he paddled us right against a rock, upset the canoe, had my spectacles tossed to the bottom, and then I learned couldn't swim. I uprighted the canoe, swam him to the side so he didn't drown, and did the curious thing that many folks with bad vision learn, there is a space or level of water you can use for focusing, I don't know how else to describe it, if you hold you eyes at certain points, it can focus you vision almost as well as glasses. I found my glasses at the bottom of the creek, returned to the cabin (my friend was too embarrassed to return to the naked lady after the disaster). Main casualties were our cigarettes. Replacing them was a 30 minute drive, each way.
Post a Comment