April 2, 2020

"It’s simply true that governments attempt to conceal all kinds of things. Even things partially visible to the naked eye."

"But it’s also true that the human body is a complex machine given to all sorts of odd behaviors. As Dan Savage wrote, 'Only Andrew Cuomo knows for sure, of course, and he’s not telling.' But, Savage said, 'I’ve spent a lot of time around gay guys with tit rings, and it’s my considered opinion that those are tit rings. Almost certainly.'... I decided the only thing left to do was call Barney Frank. Back in 2011, the former congressman stepped onto the House floor wearing a light-blue sweater through which his nipples were visible to anybody watching C-Span. Future president Donald Trump was apparently doing just that. 'Barney Frank looked disgusting — nipples protruding — in his blue shirt before Congress. Very very disrespectful,' he said on Twitter.... In general, Frank said, being a politician whose nipples become a subject of mockery or scrutiny isn’t as negative an experience as you might think. 'In some ways, it makes you feel good because it means you have people who are trying to attack you and they can’t find anything substantive.'... ...  Of Cuomo’s critics, he said, 'It reflects badly on them.' With all of that out of the way, I asked Frank if he’d be surprised if it turned out that Cuomo does, in fact, have pierced nipples. 'I’m gonna act as if you didn’t ask me that,' he said."

Since she asks, I guess it "reflects badly" — per Barney Frank — on Olivia Nuzzi, the author of the article I'm quoting "What’s the Deal With Andrew Cuomo’s Nipples? An Investigation" (NY Magazine).

Just to balance things out — though, as you know, with breasts, there's never perfect symmetry — I saw this in The Daily Mail a few days ago: "Experts warn that not wearing a bra during lockdown could damage the Cooper's ligament and cause breasts to sag - as women reveal they're ditching underwear for comfort while working at home."

Experts! Last I looked the expert opinion was that wearing a bra causes breasts to sag.

Imagine staying at home during the coronawar and worrying that your comfortable loungewear stylings were endangering what's left of your breastal perkiness! We've got bigger things to worry about, like the imaginary nipple piercings of the New York Governor.

28 comments:

Lucien said...

Laslo -- come quick, you're needed!

narciso said...

didn't savage volunteer to infect a candidate

PM said...

Ann, you have catholic interests.

Josephbleau said...

I think this controversy is going to hurt Cuomo in the polls, makes him seem a bit odd, but nationwide, not NY.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

Cuomo has been identified as a target. The nutjobs are on the job.

JAORE said...

Priorities. Breasts >>> pierced man nipples.

But, honestly, who gives a crap if or where Cuomo has studs?

rhhardin said...

It's the tube sock with tennis ball look.

Jupiter said...

She said "breastal perkiness"!

Sorry, Stacey's Mom has left me in an, ah, state of heightened awareness.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Piercings are the less of the problems. He obviously has implants.

Jamie said...

Me, I'm splitting the difference - hanging out in my PJs for longer than usual (therefore no bra), but wearing a bra for the rest of the day. I will be no help to any study of the phenomenon.

Inga said...

Put your bras into isolation.

CJinPA said...

You can voice an opinion about bras, even now. But the opinion must be that they are bad. Everyone know this, and the Daily Mail will receive a harsh reminder.

Any time is an approved time to fight the patriarchy.

rcocean said...

"Of Cuomo’s critics, he said, 'It reflects badly on them." Yeah sure. If an R had nipple rings, the press would never stop investigating, the Liberal TV comics would never stop making jokes for a month.

narciso said...

New York does probe, like they did with Weinstein pre 2017, gah.

narciso said...

zombie clay Felker is annoyed, remember sallie quinn hexed him to an early death,

Lurker21 said...

In general, Frank said, being a politician whose nipples become a subject of mockery or scrutiny isn’t as negative an experience as you might think. 'In some ways, it makes you feel good because it means you have people who are trying to attack you and they can’t find anything substantive.'... ...

Dream on, Barney.

Sure. You're golden - perfect - buddy.

Of Cuomo’s critics, he said, 'It reflects badly on them.'

But they weren't critics. Just people with time on their hands. Some of them fans of Cuomo.

My guess is that Cuomo stuck something on his capezolli because of a chafing problem, but it's not like it's a burning issue for anybody.

Yancey Ward said...

Nothing about testicle support during our trying times?

Yancey Ward said...

I don't know if he has pierced nipples or not, but he always looks like he has a large buttplug inserted.

Achilles said...

It is better to talk about Cuomo's nipples than his obvious corruption and multiple scandals involving pay to play.

Achilles said...

Or his refusal to buy ventilators and work on rationing protocol instead.

Achilles said...

""It’s simply true that governments attempt to conceal all kinds of things. Even things partially visible to the naked eye.""

To be honest I thought we were going to be talking about China and how they are Joe Biden's biggest political contributor.

Drago said...

"It’s simply true that governments attempt to conceal all kinds of things. Even things partially visible to the naked eye."

But if you are the Chinese Communist government, you can count on lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of democrat support pretty much everywhere...even Althouseblog threads.

Wince said...

In general, Frank said, being a politician whose nipples become a subject of mockery or scrutiny isn’t as negative an experience as you might think.

"My nipples explode with delight !!!"

narciso said...

yes, that bit did come to mind, it's curious how new York magazine, with olivia nuzzi, fmr weiner staffer, isn't interested in those issues, nudge,

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Let's not take a closer look at those breasts...

Big Mike said...

Experts! Last I looked the expert opinion was that wearing a bra causes breasts to sag.

In my ignorant opinion, getting old causes breasts to sag.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

One of the very last things I'm likely to give a shit about is Andrew Cuomo's nipples.

Sarah from VA said...

The nipple mystery appears to be solved.

For those that don't want to click on the link, it appears that Cuomo was nervous about his nips showing through so he put band-aids on them, but then he was sweating so the band-aids started coming off. The cure was worse than the disease! It's okay, buddy, everybody has nipples. No need to hide your headlights under a bushel.