From "5 People on Being Isolated With Their Exes" (NY Magazine) — answering the question what would it be like if you had to shelter in place with a partner you were just about to leave and now you're stuck with for the duration of this war.
That quote is from a 33-year-old woman, talking about her wife. Here's another quote, also from a woman. She's 33 and talking about a male partner:
One of the hardest things right now is knowing I will not see my friends in person for a long time. The only people I trust right now have to stay six feet away and we can’t even go out for drinks to talk shit about him. That is killing me. And it’s only just begun...There's not much need to feel sorry for these people, but perhaps this is a prompt to look for the good in whatever relationship you have in your life, including the relationship called solitude.
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I just went and gave my wife a hug in the middle of her Zoom call.
Luckily that is ok these days.
-XC
PS - 25 years.
I feel bad for my dog. A lot of his "friends" are older people who like to fuss over him and give him treats, and a lot of them seem to be holed up. Fewer of his dog friends are out, and he's seeing them at the end of the leash, at best. I'm trying to keep him interested in tug games and such, but mostly he's just stuck staring at my mug, and for the long run I can't imagine that he'll find that to be time well spent.
I'm home alone being newly widowed after 46 years of marriage. That could really suck except I can't imagine how I would have managed all of the home care my husband needed if he was still here while this is going on. My dog is good company. I live in a beautiful place. It could be worse.
"From "5 People on Being Isolated With Their Exes" (NY Magazine) "
Isolated with my ex? Are you kidding me-- I'd rather drink a bucket of coronavirus soup:)
For the last three nights my wife and I have held a cocktail party in our driveway for the first six neighbors that show up with their own chairs and drinks. The only rules are everyone must sit six feet apart except couples, no one can touch anyone else's stuff, and you must sanitize yourself coming and going using your own wipes. We're thinking about expanding it to ten people since that is the limit established by the local Gestapo, but since we're all old farts it becomes difficult to hear everyone the more people you add, hence the bigger the seating area gets. Anyway, it's relieved some of the neighborhood social isolation, and I'm thinking about adding a cover charge.
Is it just me, or do 90% of these "People Just Plain Suck" pieces seem to come from New York City writers?
Tammy, 37, Colorado, should probably leave, because she certainly can do so.
I bet they could all leave, quite legally and without any trouble, if they wanted to.
Ah, gosh, Eleanor.
I'm glad you can look for and see ways it could be worse. I hope you and your dog can take good care of each other. Good luck to you.
jaydub, that's a good approach.
If a highlight of your day is talking "shit" about your husband, you should have left him a long time ago.
Bitch.
If someone close to me were in that situation, I would open my door to them even if it meant we both had to do a real quarantine for 2 weeks. And I'm sure I'm not alone with that attitude.
Couplet angst.
These people have "poor moral relationships with each other" and they suck. I mean, Jesus, love the one your with.
I always thought that I used up a lifetime's quota of luck the afternoon my love answered affirmatively to a question the minister asked her as we stood in front of a church full of family and friends.
Now I'm sure of it.
One of the funnier things I've seen during this mess is this:
"Day 8 isolation with my family. At this point, I wonder if the Donner party was even hungry..."
This one follows naturally from the articles about marriages between Clinton and Trump supporters.
It is funny that the articles and people all seem to come from New York and New York.
Maybe fedgov should make the city a nature sanctuary to preserve such creatures, rather than let them die out.
New York is a wacked out place. Tons of people, tons of anxiety, tons of leftism, tons of money for the few at the top, tons of traffic, tons of people scrambling to make ends meet in 14 different languages.
But we hate Trump and must vote Democrat!
I do enjoy cocktails at Cipriani's, though. I hope they survive the lockdown.
I would give a darn about these folks, but I’m making popcorn right now so me and the missus can finish watching the Tiger King.
Fortunately I chose my boo well to quarantine with. My wife is great fun, and a pleasure to be around.
- Krumhorn
I am so fortunate! I'm quarantined in the same house with my 3 grandkids, all younger than 6. They are so much fun and they have so much love to give.
Over my life I've built disciplines within myself that sustain me through anything... playing organ, piano and guitar, writing music, practicing yoga and attending to my work as a church musician.
I thanked the managers of my client church for keeping me busy and productive thru this crisis, developing and posting music for online streaming.
Thanks God!
Is it just me, or do 90% of these "People Just Plain Suck" pieces seem to come from New York City writers?
New York City is full of a lot of bland people who think they're special or have some fascinating and unique take on the world because they live in the overpriced, overrated tourist trap New York City.
Nobody's having a falling out with their dog.
Best wishes Eleanor. Your perspective is the antithesis of that expressed by the folks in the article.
This is day 17 of WFH for me. It's been a long time since I was home for 17 consecutive days. Mrs. stevew seems to be adjusting well. As I sometimes joke, even after nearly 40 years of marriage and living together we still like each other's company. It helps that our living style, tidy vs sloppy, is the same. Dirty dishes don't go in the sink, they go either in the dishwasher or are washed.
I do have some sympathy for these folks that are forced to live with someone from which they were committed to separating. Not a lot of sympathy - because they could simply suck it up and make the best of it - but some.
I left a plate in the sink last night from a late dinner and she left me a Post-it note on the sink that was like, 'You’re a grown ass adult, please pick up after yourself.'
Be grateful this person is your ex.
A family down the street it doing nightly 20 minute "porch concerts" weather permitting. They post the program on the front lawn in the afternoon. A six in the evening neighbors and friends gather in front of their house and three kids (13 year old brother, sixth and first grade sisters) do a little pop concert (Hey Jude, Sweet Home Alabama, Crocodile Rock etc). Brother sings and plays keyboard and guitar and sisters play ukuleles (or maybe kid size guitars)and sing. They do a great job and are pretty darn good. Brings a smile to everyone. Some other kids in the are are doing similar concerts playing violin and performing classical music.
Imagine you're a newly-created Post-it note.
You're so excited! You're going to be part of a historic event.
A brilliant idea will be placed upon you which will change the world.
Something that saves lives, expands civilization, or changes the nature of the universe.
And you wind up getting: 'You’re a grown ass adult, please pick up after yourself.'
#PostItDisappointment
Frankly, anyone who uses the term "grown ass" in conversation should be left.
The rest of the context was irrelevant.
You have a choice
We are not prohibited from going outside for exercise and fresh air. It's not a big crowd and people maintain their distance of 6 feet or more.
I miss my paramours.
My wife and I get along famously and have been (mostly) doing so for 35 years. However on Friday I heard something that I do not believe I have ever heard before: "Honey, It's nice outside. Maybe you should go play a round of golf while the weather is nice." I did not say "Really?" but grabbed my clubs and went.
These are indeed unusual times.
So, life is weird.
Before all of this happened, my wife decided, rightly, that it would be good to go from our home in the Asheville, NC area to stay near our son and daughter-in-law in suburban San Francisco while waiting for our first grandson to be born. Then the pandemic happened, and she questioned whether it was a good idea to go. But she prepared extraordinarily well, got an AirBnB to stay in, etc. so she did go. But in the event, she couldn't actually be present for the birth, and in fact it was only the day before yesterday that my grandson could go home from the hospital, and at the moment is not allowed out under any circumstances. Nor is my wife allowed to visit. And in the meantime, she's basically thinking she'll be there until the end of May. She has asthma, has had pneumonia multiple times, and has a cluster of autoimmune disorders, so she's a walking, talking high-risk population of one. The probability of her going to SFO to connect through ATL to get home in the next couple of months is 0.0. She looked into renting a car and driving across the country, sticking to less populated areas, etc. But the rental she found for $400 a couple of weeks ago is now going for $1,700, which some will attribute to mythical "price gouging," and people who actually understand economics will recognize as an important signal regarding the size and composition of the rental agencies' fleets in the area in question.
So for now, we have FaceTime (which works remarkably well). I work from home anyway; we're Amazon Prime/Subscribe-and-Save subscribers; we had stocked up for roughly a month before she left, and I've already taken delivery from Amazon/Whole Foods, as well as gone to a local supermarket with the neighbor across the street. I wore my latex gloves and threw them away when I got home. I had absolutely no trouble stocking up on bacon, heavy cream for my coffee, cheese, or a goodly number of Atkins frozen pizzas, but God help anyone who wanted anything from the meat department. It was as empty as if a pride of lions had had their fill five minutes earlier. I'm glad people here seem to be concentrating on their protein, though. Meanwhile, more Subscribe-and-Save stuff will be arriving, possibly with some substitutions necessary, as they were with my Whole Foods order. Nothing I regretted or, honestly, even remember.
I'll probably grab my hat and walking stick and at least take a walk around the neighborhood a bit later today. The problem isn't keeping 6' away from anyone else unless I happen to bump into one of the neighbors I know, and even then everyone understands what's necessary. We also have someone in the neighborhood who plays piano, and is now leaving their window open once a week so neighbors can enjoy her playing. When I'm in, my goodness—I have Amazon Prime videos to watch, a stack of Blu-Rays my wife doesn't care for to revisit, ditto computer games of widely varying depth and resonance, stacks of physical books and an even larger stack of virtual ones on my Kindle Oasis (now there's a name that's taken on a new meaning...)
The one thing I don't have is an excuse to be bored.
Now if you'll please excuse me, I have that classic Twilight Zone episode, Time Enough At Last, to watch...
Former neighbors of ours just separated on Friday after 35 years of marriage. They aren't isolating together. Of all the things to deal with, this one is completely avoidable. Alas, I got very little isolated time with my wife.
There once was a famous marriage counselor in Colorado and people would come from all over the country to see him to get help for their relationships. His very first assignment was for each of them to go home, look at themselves in the mirror and ask, “what would it be like to be married to me?” There once was a famous marriage counselor in Colorado and people would come from all over the country to see him to get help for their relationships. His very first assignment was for each of them to go home, look at themselves in the mirror and ask, “what would it be like to be married to me?“ When I heard that story it completely changed my marriage because I realized that most of the things I complained about were a result of some part of me that needed to change. I now see the good in my husband. Yes, of course, I still see some of the areas of weakness but my own areas of weakness are so much larger, and I’m so appreciative to be sharing this shut in time with someone whom I can admire.
"One of the hardest things right now is knowing I will not see my friends in person for a long time. The only people I trust right now have to stay six feet away and we can’t even go out for drinks to talk shit about him"
Apparently her friends have low tolerance for her whining, since otherwise one of them would have invited her to move in with them
If for nothing else the story at least inspired me to listen to Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order.
Yeh, even though they are exes you know they are doing the horizontal hula regardless just out of boredom and proximity.
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