October 11, 2019

"Since I can't grow a beard, I actually have to say, 'Hello, I'm not a female' to everyone I meet."



ADDED: Craver misses (comically misses?) the fact that wearing a beard as a way to say "Hello, I'm not a female" would only be done by someone who is not secure in his masculinity. But Craver didn't come up with the salutation, which is funny because why introduce yourself by saying what you are not? It's going to raise suspicion, like Nixon saying "I am not a crook." And it raise the un-P.C. inference that the thing you're denying is bad — that being female is bad.

82 comments:

tcrosse said...

Show 'em your dick.

MadisonMan said...

Actually, you don't have to say that at all because no one cares. But claiming it might generate clicks for you and add to your income I guess.

Ken B said...

It is interesting how popular beards have become in just the last few years. I have had one for over 40 years and they were uncommon when I was younger. I would often be the only one in a classroom with a beard. Why suddenly so popular?

JMW Turner said...

I was a man once, but I shaved it off.

Shouting Thomas said...

I'm 70.

Women have been given a preference in education, employment, legal status and every other aspect of institutional America my entire life.

I walked thru the airport the past few days past a prominent display of the original Handmaid's Tale and the sequel.

Despite the constant preferences, a hell of a lot of women are drowning in this feminist drama queen porn that depicts them as breeding sows enslaved by evangelical men. Spoiled rotten, rich women marinating in this shit. Evil shit.

Feminist women are greedy as hell, insufferably self-interested, fat and spoiled. It's as if they want men to hate them. They've certainly earned it. And, of course, then the bitches taunt you as a misogynist for observing how rotten they are.

Michael K said...

The beard thing is interesting. Young men have these "5 o'clock shadow" things on their faces and I do wonder where it came from. It is typical of Arabic men but that can't be the sole reason. I understand there are electric razors that leave the beard just enough to show.

JMW Turner said...

I was a man once, but I shaved it off.

rcocean said...

Grow a beard to not be mistaken for a woman? Its what Robert E. Lee and U.S. Grant did - and it worked out for them.

tim maguire said...

If someone came up to me and said, "hello, I'm not a female," my first reaction would be to doubt them.

madAsHell said...

I dunno. Most of the guys that have grown beards also have double chins. Beards are for hiding things.

Francisco D said...

I have had a beard on and off for over 45 years. For half of that time, I shaved every day and put on a suit, tie, crisp shirt and uncomfortable dress shoes. Thus, I looked civilized by scraping my face and wearing clothes that had no practical purpose except to signal that I was conforming to business etiquette.

Now I have a beard and wear sandals (and SHORTS!). It is not a statement. It is a way of being comfortable.


n.n said...

There are other tell-tale signs of the male sex and masculine gender. For one, boys chasing girls... and the female sex and feminine gender: girls chasing boys.

Amexpat said...

Why suddenly so popular?

I wondered about that a few years back when it became fashionable. Lots of pro athletes with them is a reason, but who influenced them. I saw men starting to sport them after US troops were in Afghanistan. Perhaps there's a connection?

pious agnostic said...

Some women have beards, just like some men have periods.

rhhardin said...

Beards are for wind-breaking for bike-riding in the winter, and for who cares about shaving periods until it becomes annoying in the summer.

CJinPA said...

The original poster shaved away all of Prager's qualifiers ("some" men, "certain" men) to better appeal to the Twitter People.

Rick.T. said...

The beard has been called the padded bra of masculinity.

Spiros Pappas said...

It's lazy. You need to get fired if you don't shave daily and you come into work looking like a worthless slob.

Tina Trent said...

What are Mediterranean women supposed to say?

elkh1 said...

"...it raise the un-P.C. inference that the thing you're denying is bad — that being female is bad."

Or he is pretty and feminine that he may be mistaken as a female.

LYNNDH said...

I have had a beard for over 40 yr too. I like the way I look, and I don't have to shave everyday. I care what other people think, it's my body.

Carol said...

I call them Millennial Beards. All the young guys had them a couple years ago. I assume it was like long hair back in the day; the girls loved it and demanded the boy grow his hair long to be like the other cool boys. Now the SO wants him to have a beardlet like the other guys.

But like long hair, it looks silly on a guy who has really good features and doesn't need it to hide a double chin, baby face or compensate for a bald head.

Like a self-conscious actor or dancer, like the "hippies" in Hair. Bleah. No real hippies looked that good.

madAsHell said...

I've mentioned this before, but it seems to be all the rage. Wearing your pronouns as a red badge of courage.

Fernandistein said...

I wear a beard to hide the fact that I don't shave because I'm not secure in my hirsutinity.

The aforementioned Mad Potter of Biloxi has quite a facial display, almost as if he's declaring "Hello, I'm not human."

tcrosse said...

Most of the guys that have grown beards also have double chins.

Buddy of mine had a nice, full beard. He had to shave it off for some reason, which revealed that he had no chin to speak of.

Carol said...

If someone came up to me and said, "hello, I'm not a female," my first reaction would be to doubt them.

I assume he just meant it as signaling, no?

Bill Peschel said...

"Young men have these "5 o'clock shadow" things on their faces and I do wonder where it came from."

Michael, the look was popularized on "Miami Vice," and it seems to have hung around since. For something that looks casual, it's a high-maintenance look.

Ignoring the clickbait idiot, Praeger's right. In a society where masculine clothes are adopted by women, showing a beard is the only way to display masculine traits.

The Kinks said it best way back when:

Girls will be boys
and boys will be girls
its a mixed-up
muddled-up
shook-up
world
except for Lola.

J Scott said...

My theory is that beards became popular because of the war on terror. The special force operators taking out the Taliban and such were cool. And they all had beards.

Earnest Prole said...

I’m sure there’s a world for a person incapable of detecting the deployment of irony.

Matt said...

I live in VA, work in DC. The number of soft, pasty, doughy guys who couldn't punch their way out of a wet paper bag but have huge Grizzly Adams beards hanging 4 inches of their face here is astounding.

Beards have become faux masculinity amongst the younger set.

mockturtle said...

Tcrosse suggests: Show 'em your dick.

Well, now, that might depend....

gahrie said...

someone who is not secure in his masculinity.

After the Left has spent the last thirty years attacking "toxic" masculinity and the Patriarchy, why would any male possibly be insecure in his masculinity?

Sounds like a splooge stooge to me.

Faith Worley said...

I grew a beard when I moved to a town that was celebrating its centennial and whose men all agreed to not shave for the 6 months prior to the celebration. I was late starting, but I've kept it since. Unfortunately I've gotten in the habit of trimming it, so I don't look an Old Testament prophet.

Psota said...

Women do grow beards. Prager needs to get out more.

MadisonMan said...

I don't have a beard because (1) it doesn't come in very well on my face and (2) it's very white now. It makes me look old. I'm vain.

gahrie said...

And it raise the un-P.C. inference that the thing you're denying is bad — that being female is bad.

So we should be upset that something might be "inferring" that being a female is bad, and totally ignore the explicit attacks on masculinity and males that are commonplace in today's culture?

stevew said...

Beards are quite popular these days. I suspect that like most social phenomena of this sort it started as fashion choice or mild rebellion, then developed widespread appeal: sort of like the hipster look and affectations.

My personal approach is to shave only on days I'll be meeting with customers and prospects. I usually grow a beard when on vacation, sometimes keep it for a couple of weeks after returning to work. My beard is almost completely white/gray now and I work in an industry where 62 years old, my age, is way above the norm - so I tend to shave in order to avoid signaling how old I am.

Skylark said...

Is it OK if I have a beard if I like the way it looks in the mirror? That’s sarcasm, I am not really asking.

I remember somebody making fun of rhhardin saying he must not have any girlfriends, and my first thought was that nothing is sexier to a woman than a man who bends to her every whim.

Skylark said...

"I understand there are electric razors that leave the beard just enough to show.”

Electric razors have come a long way. When I was young, I wore a full red beard, but didn’t grown one again until I could manage it with the new razors that didn’t exist then.

readering said...

And here I was thinking white hair was a way to say hello I am not a female.

Kalli Davis said...

Jack Craver (@JackCraver) got that bass-ackwards. It's... Because I can grow a beard, I'm a man not a soy-boy...to everyone I meet. (with no "quotes")
https://t.co/Hf92rHl8Zl

Skylark said...

How did Trump not win the Nobel Peach Prize:

Supposed to be awarded to the person who has "done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses".[4]

If anybody has been working tirelessly for peace. Spending his prestige to try to bring an end to the Korean war, not being drawn into the war that Iran wanted, reducing the US military footprint around the world....

Skylark said...

Oops, wong thread.

Char Char Binks said...

A craving for soy can impede beard growth.

William said...

I have a beard simply because it's easier than shaving. Sometimes you have to trim it though, and that's a hassle. If I ever get rid of my beard it will be because of that.....I don't think beards are in the same class as tattoos and piercings. They must mean something significant and probably not something good. Whatever. Another five or ten years and I'm out of this.

Howard said...

The close shaved man was in response to gas mask fit and seal in WWI. Having a beard says that I am not a tool of the military industrial complex

mockturtle said...

A female's POV: Most men look better with beards. There are exceptions, though, like the gorgeous Anthony Rendon of the Washington Nationals who might have looked OK with a normal beard but has chosen to grow a really hideous goatee.

Phidippus said...

"And it raise the un-P.C. inference that the thing you're denying is bad — that being female is bad."

Oh, touchy touchy touchy as usual about this femibullshit, I see.

Why is it bad for a man to not want to be mistaken for a female? Leaving aside for the moment the question of why he would be anxious about such a thing.

Here's a thought experiment for you: You're out and about and some stranger starts up a conversation with you and it becomes apparent that he or she thinks you're male.

Would you be pleased? Justify your answer.

Phidippus said...

mockturtle said: "Most men look better with beards."

How about Ted Cruz' new look? I think he looks very sharp indeed that way, a real improvement over the shaved version.

Is there a parallel universe where Trump has a beard?

Amexpat said...

My theory is that beards became popular because of the war on terror. The special force operators taking out the Taliban and such were cool. And they all had beards.

That's my take as well.

mccullough said...

Benjamin Harrison was the last president with a beard.

Amexpat said...

How about Ted Cruz' new look? I think he looks very sharp indeed that way, a real improvement over the shaved version.

His bread has worked wonders for him. Before he reminded me of Mr. Haney on Green Acres. I hate to admit it, but he looks kinda of cool now.

Meade said...

Anything more than a light stubble obscures my ultra masculine jawline.

Or so I've been told.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Beards have become faux masculinity amongst the younger set”

There is a hotel we have stayed in a lot this last half year. Small skinny guy who puts out breakfast has a long sell trimmed beard and a waxed mustache. He acts so beta that I asked my partner if he was gay. No, apparently not. She has infallible gaydar, but isn’t so good with detecting lesbos. My response was that he well have been. On the flip side, guy we know well had the three day beard going at college graduation. He’s a big guy (college football OLine). His SO convinced him to cut it off. She probably regrets that a bit. He is down to maybe a cut 230 now, and has a good jawline. She now has her work cut out for her, keeping the other women away.

That all said, here in the wilds of MT, most of the young guys, and many of the middle aged ones, have nice trimmed beards. Esp as we head into winter. Most of the older ones though with beards, it looks more like they can’t afford a razor. Plenty of wild white beards around here. You are always thinking about checking them out for little sticks and stuff, figuring that they have come out of the back country to resupply., or something like that.

Yancey Ward said...

Men are growing beards for two reasons- (1) they hate shaving every day, and (2) they are hiding weak chins. I had a beard from age 17 until I was 28- it was mostly, in the beginning, that I had it just because I suddenly could grow a thick one in high school, but I also I have a Ted Cruz kind of chin- I also hated shaving. I finally got rid of it when I started interviewing for jobs after my post-doctoral work. I found that I liked the clean-shaven look and feel of my face better, and the women in my life at the time agreed with that sentiment, so I haven't gone more than a day without a shave in 25 years.

Gospace said...

I could possibly grow patches of hair on my face. They'd never combine to be a beard. I wouldn't even bother trying.

That said - I've never had to announce "I'm a man" It's pretty obvious.

Sometimes I'll go two or three days without shaving. The third day is when people notice.

In my area all the Amish men have beards. Most of the closely related Mennonites don't. For the Amish, it's a religious thing. As it is for Hasidim.

As for "My theory is that beards became popular because of the war on terror. The special force operators taking out the Taliban and such were cool. And they all had beards." I want to note that pretty much all the Taliban also had beards. It's a religious thing for them....

Birches said...

I disagree with mockturtle. I prefer clean shaven, though if I were married to Ted Cruz, I would encourage a beard.

I don't like the feel of a thick beard on me, it's too itchy.

Skylark said...

"(1) they hate shaving every day, and (2) they are hiding weak chins.”

Nope, and nope.

It’s amazing how convinced people can be that they have a handle on certain truth though. I grew a beard because I stopped shaving once when I was on a software death march and liked it. Also the modern shaving stuff supports it. There is stuff you can get at the drug store now for maintaining a beard that just wasn’t around outside of professional barber equipment suppliers.

JAORE said...

Long before my beard gets long enough to look filled out, the hairs catch on the inside of my motorcycle helmet. Not worth it. So I go commando and leave my zipper down just so people will know I'm not a woman.

Jupiter said...

"Despite the constant preferences, a hell of a lot of women are drowning in this feminist drama queen porn that depicts them as breeding sows enslaved by evangelical men."

Have you considered that maybe they fantasize about being breeding sows enslaved by a powerful male? There are more than fifty shades of gray.

mockturtle said...

Have you considered that maybe they fantasize about being breeding sows enslaved by a powerful male? There are more than fifty shades of gray.

Interesting comment, Jupiter. I've long held a theory that most strong women want to be dominated by a stronger man. Funny, as I'm re-reading Atlas Shrugged, how very exemplary of this theory is the protagonist, Dagny Taggart.

Bilwick said...

I grew a beard about thirty years ago, mainly because Mother Nature didn't give me much of a jawline. The beard I grew was a modest, Hollywood Neo-Mediaeval beard (a la Robert Taylor in IVANHOE). I intended no further statement than, "Yay, I now have a jawline!"

Wilbur said...

I'm in the camp that some percentage of men's looks are improved by a beard. I'd guess maybe 30%. It's a lot more than a shaved head; maybe 5% have an improved look. I've yet to meet anyone who's looks are improved by a tattoo.

When I was a much younger man, I grew a mustache, or at least tried to. My friend's mother told me I looked like Ronald Colman. I wasn't quite sure how to take that, so the next time I was in the library I found a picture of him. Yeah, there's a resemblance.

Yeats later I tried to grow a beard. My best effort was a goatee that looked like no other than Ming the Merciless. I used to turn up my collar and intone "Bring me Dale Arden". My friends found it amusing, always a good thing.

Wilbur said...

Howard said...
The close shaved man was in response to gas mask fit and seal in WWI.

Hitler had to shave his large bushy mustache down to the familiar Chaplinesque one, due to a bad experience during a gas attack.

Fernandistein said...

I've long held a theory that most strong women want to be dominated by a stronger man.

"No man could tame me, though they tried and tried"

Skylark said...

"Have you considered that maybe they fantasize about being breeding sows enslaved by a powerful male?”

There is a school of literary criticism that would hold that The Handmaiden’s Tale is a tale of repressed desires.

tcrosse said...

With my grey beard and mustache, the photo on my Costco card looks like the Shroud of Turin.

mockturtle said...

I've yet to meet anyone who's looks are improved by a tattoo.

Nor I, Wilbur. Sadly, all four of my grandchildren have them. Two males, two females. It makes me sick. I've offered to pay to have them removed but no takers. :(

Jupiter said...

"I've long held a theory that most strong women want to be dominated by a stronger man."

I think it's more complicated than that. Women admire masculine strength, and desire strong men. That doesn't necessarily mean they want to be dominated. Even if they desire to be dominated, that doesn't mean that being dominated will please them.

At the same time, I have noticed that many women are fairly happy to let a man dominate them, as long as they like the things he makes them do. It relieves them of responsibility.

tcrosse said...

I've yet to meet anyone who's looks are improved by a tattoo.

You haven't met Lydia.

Swede said...

I grow a beard for deer season.
No beards in the military. Yet.
Unless you're a Sikh.
I'm thinking of becoming a Lutheran Sikh.
Beards and fruit suspended in jell-o for everybody!

RobinGoodfellow said...

“Blogger tcrosse said...
Show 'em your dick.”

What do you say to Bruce Gender?

mockturtle said...

You haven't met Lydia.

Oh, but I have:
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclopydia
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia

mockturtle said...

I think it's more complicated than that. Women admire masculine strength, and desire strong men. That doesn't necessarily mean they want to be dominated. Even if they desire to be dominated, that doesn't mean that being dominated will please them.

Jupiter, I didn't mean necessarily in the physical sense but in strength of intellect and personality.

Francisco D said...

Men are growing beards for two reasons- (1) they hate shaving every day, and (2) they are hiding weak chins.

There is some truth to the latter. I had to shave my beard several times in the past 45+ years. Besides the devastatingly handsome face it uncovers, the chin seems smaller than usual. That improves after a month or too. Maybe it is the paleness or something.

DavidUW97 said...

Science says women say 3 days and 10 days are ideal beard growths.

Phil said...

“I'm thinking of becoming a Lutheran Sikh.
Beards and fruit suspended in jell-o for everybody!”

Along with the comb, the knife, and a nice smorgasbord around the holidays.

Narr said...

A professor of British history of mine had a theory that in the Anglo-Saxon world at least, men sport beards when women occupy the British throne.

I was bearded most of my working career--either full (waxing and waning, never too long because it's hot), goatee, or some Vandyke and Imperial gambits. Right after retirement four years ago I sported a Hindenburg or Franz Josef, but any style is troublesome and my main reason to have a beard in the first place was because I HATE shaving.

My moustache has been there since 1971, protecting my philtrum from the harsh rays of the sun, but brother beard's just a crescent soul patch now--why cover my noble chin and dimple, a couple of my best features?

I still hate shaving and always will; once or twice a week is plenty . . . I like looking seedy.

Narr
And it shows

Michael K said...

Rock Hudson had a beard. I forget her name.

stlcdr said...

Why do people have beards? Why have short hair? Why have long? Why have hair any style? Why be bald? (Well some people can’t help the last one. Losers).

Outside of certain professions/tasks which require a certain appearance, who gives a flying fuck?

This whole thing demonstrates how our culture is actually devolving to a cave man (sic) mentality.

Narr said...

Michael K mentioned Rock's beard--she was his agent's secretary IIRC. Of course, lots of famous men did and do have that kind of beard.

Narr
My wife likes the one I have

Narr said...

I'd disagree, stlcdr: we aren't devolving, or at least not in this regard. Hair and beard styles are signaling whether we think so or not, and have often been the obsession, not of cavemen, but of social and economic elites. It may be absurd, but it can be indicative too.

Narr
No baldness in my lines thank goodness