Althouse: "He said that he had 'not taken the pill' that is forced on young boys of '12 or 13 who are taught to take their emotions and tuck them away somewhere and act like a man.'"

October 15, 2019

"He said that he had 'not taken the pill' that is forced on young boys of '12 or 13 who are taught to take their emotions and tuck them away somewhere and act like a man.'"

"'Most of the violence and ill-will that our world has is linked to that moment,' he added."

He = RuPaul.

(Yahoo News.)

62 comments:

David Begley said...: Not exactly an authority on anything other than appearing in a circus sideshow on TV.; 10/15/19, 9:54 AM
wild chicken said...: The presenter said he never thought the show would strike such an emotional cord

Oh those emo power cords!; 10/15/19, 9:54 AM
Nonapod said...: "But after a while when you have some success that's not enough, it doesn't fill that void that every human alive feels."

I feel like this should be obvious to pretty much everyone by now. There's no shortage of conventionally successful people who are unhappy.; 10/15/19, 10:06 AM
rehajm said...: ...and tuck them away...

heh.; 10/15/19, 10:06 AM
SteveSc said...: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; 10/15/19, 10:08 AM
chuck said...: Poor guy.; 10/15/19, 10:13 AM
John Borell said...: I do not think boys are taught to have no emotions.

I think they are taught to control their emotions, not to let emotions control them.

Stoicism used to be considered a virtue.; 10/15/19, 10:16 AM
gahrie said...: I was taught to control my emotions, and not allow them to control me.; 10/15/19, 10:17 AM
tim in vermont said...: Nobody gave me any pill. Everybody just didn’t give a shit about anything I had to say. So I will give Ru Paul that. He is a smart man, BTW, just kind of parochial.; 10/15/19, 10:17 AM
traditionalguy said...: Boys to man is not tucking away emotions from everyone. It is saving them up for a woman worthy of a committed relationship that sustains and guards her and the babies who make up the next generation. A failure to do this male tucking away is total cowardice. And being a freak show does not make up for that failure.; 10/15/19, 10:19 AM
rhhardin said...: It's the abstract and analyze pill. It's built in. Girls go the opposite way.; 10/15/19, 10:23 AM
Wince said...: He said that he had "not taken the pill" that is forced on young boys of "12 or 13 who are taught to take their emotions and tuck them away somewhere and act like a man.

Oddly, aren't young boys of 12 or 13 today often forced to swallow a literal pill that "takes their emotions and tucks them away somewhere" and NOT act like a boy?; 10/15/19, 10:24 AM
n.n said...: He needs to go for a hike. Perhaps do some gardening. Maybe even hard manual labor. California needs volunteers to perform forest conservation.; 10/15/19, 10:26 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "Not exactly an authority on anything other than appearing in a circus sideshow on TV."

Appearing in?!

RuPaul created the show and is a huge creative force. He's not just putting in an appearance. Plus, he's lived his whole live, actively in this culture for many decades. He's a big authority on a hell of a lot.; 10/15/19, 10:33 AM
Christopher B said...: John and gahrie have it.

Consider that for (most) (biological) men, testosterone gets switched on in their teens and doesn't get switched off until late in life, as opposed to the definite hormone cycle (biological) women go through.; 10/15/19, 10:34 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "...and tuck them away... heh."

Yes, in this vivid formulation, the ostensibly manly folk are paradoxically unmanly.; 10/15/19, 10:35 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "It's the abstract and analyze pill. It's built in."

If it's built in you don't need to take a pill.

I'm just addressing your choice of words. I'm not going to spend time today chewing over the old nature/nuture debate. I know you like to graze there.; 10/15/19, 10:37 AM
tim in vermont said...: "the ostensibly manly folk are paradoxically unmanly.”

No true Scotsman, and all that, harrumph, turtle pip!; 10/15/19, 10:38 AM
dreams said...: Bullsh*t!; 10/15/19, 10:38 AM
Limited blogger said...: Are You Paul? seems harmless enough.; 10/15/19, 10:48 AM
Kevin said...: Most of the violence and ill-will that our world has is not linked to that moment.

Most of the violence and ill-will that our world has is that there is X amount of stuff, and Y amount of people, and those people want the stuff and/or want to protect the stuff that they have.

The way that conflict is diminished is to get more stuff spread among more people. The free market has done an amazing job of that, and conflict has diminished exponentially since the end of WWII.

The only point at which we'll really become conflict free is when everyone has Star Trek replicators that operate for free because there is so much excess energy to convert to matter.

In the meantime, we need men who learn to control their emotions at 12 or 13, because those are the men that 1. get our stuff and 2. protect our stuff from other men who want our stuff.; 10/15/19, 10:50 AM
John henry said...: Would that be the speed/amphetamine pill?

A/K/A Adderall.

John Henry; 10/15/19, 10:51 AM
Birkel said...: I told the people who tried to give me drugs "no" because Nancy said so.
Whiny men are not sought by the fairer sex.
Men who are calm but able to visit great violence on those who threaten what a man should protect?
Those men are highly prized by women.

RuPaul has different priorities, I gather.; 10/15/19, 10:53 AM
Tarzan said...: Oddly, aren't young boys of 12 or 13 today often forced to swallow a literal pill that "takes their emotions and tucks them away somewhere" and NOT act like a boy?

My first thought was Ritalin too. Real pills are fine I guess, it's only the figurative ones that we're supposed to get all glum and thoughtful about.; 10/15/19, 10:56 AM
Tarzan said...: Oddly, aren't young boys of 12 or 13 today often forced to swallow a literal pill that "takes their emotions and tucks them away somewhere" and NOT act like a boy?

My first thought was Ritalin too. Real pills are fine I guess. It's the figurative ones that we're supposed to get all somber about.; 10/15/19, 10:57 AM
Kevin said...: Another article about how:

1. Men are the root of society's problems.
2. Real men are not traditionally masculine.
3. Men who are traditionally masculine have been damaged in some way.

I have no opinion on RuPaul's choices and how he lives his life. If only he were respectful enough to return the favor.; 10/15/19, 11:05 AM
rhhardin said...: "It's almost as if I took a pill" literary effect.; 10/15/19, 11:09 AM
David Begley said...: Ann

Meryl Streep is my favorite actress. But she’s no expert on climate change and sexual harassment from Harvey Weinstein. Loud on the former and completely silent on the latter.; 10/15/19, 11:12 AM
J. Farmer said...: It is a pretty typical finding in personality studies that women outscore men in Neuroticism. But this part and parcel of a long line of feminist thinking in which the answer to the troubles of men is to make them more like women. Okay, fine, then I suspect the inverse must be true. The answer to the troubles of women is to make them more like men. So if men can do with a bit more emoting, it only stands to reason that women can do with a bit less emoting.; 10/15/19, 11:12 AM
Yancey Ward said...: Well, what can you expect out of Yahoo which is a right wing web site.; 10/15/19, 11:14 AM
Yancey Ward said...: And, in any case, it is a myth that boys are taught or forced to do this for all emotions. What we are taught to do is to suppress our violent emotions, and for very good reasons, and what I see as I look out over society is that they aren't being taught this as often any longer.; 10/15/19, 11:16 AM
Yancey Ward said...: And John Borell did a better job than me in describing the reality.; 10/15/19, 11:17 AM
hombre said...: Who was taught that? My grandfather perhaps. But we should thank RuPaul for sharing his tunnel vision about violence and ill will. As we see, woke lefties, particularly LGBTQABCD... folks are “live and let live” types, not at all prone to violence or ill will.

As long as the mediaswine reign, without regard to readership by non-Democrats, we will be exposed to this shite.; 10/15/19, 11:18 AM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: ...and act like a man.

For many of us, it is not an act.; 10/15/19, 11:26 AM
tim in vermont said...: "f it's built in you don't need to take a pill.”

Nor do people have to force it on you.; 10/15/19, 11:28 AM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Ru Paul seems very confused.

No one tells boys/men that they can't have emotions. To suppress feelings. No one tells girls/women this or the opposite to let all your emotions hang out either.

Well, I mean good parents don't do this. Some parents probably do. Suck it up Buttercup!!

You validate your children's emotions not deny them HOWEVER You teach your children to express emotions in a proper manner. Not to be emotionless robots and not to be annoying drama queens either. You teach the children that there is a proper way to express anger, sadness, joy, frustration, love and that there is a time and place for those emotions.

If you want to live in a civilized society, you learn to control the expression of your feelings and emotions.

Good parents also recognize that there REALLY IS a difference between boys and girls. AND that there is a difference between boys and boys. And between girls and girls. Everyone is not the same.

Throwing yourself on the ground at the supermarket because you didn't get the sugar pop cereal is wrong. Hitting people because you didn't get your way is wrong. AND so on and so on.

Sounds like RuPaul had some not so great parenting.; 10/15/19, 11:32 AM
Rick.T. said...: I tuck my emotions to the right but don't have to consider that in tailoring, which is nice.; 10/15/19, 11:36 AM
sean said...: In the universe of uncoerced lives, I can't imagine many things I would like less than RuPaul's life. So I will continue to control my emotions, and, more generally, to keep wearing the mask which custom prescribes. As will most of my family and friends, which is why everyone keeps wanting what we have and trying to take it away or move in with us.; 10/15/19, 11:37 AM
Bill Peschel said...: "He's a big authority on a hell of a lot. "

What, exactly, are you talking about? What subjects? And does it include how boys are raised?

I will guess the answer to the last is "no."; 10/15/19, 11:38 AM
Fernandinande said...: Not exactly an authority on anything other than appearing in a circus sideshow on TV.

He's a big authority on appearing in circus sideshows, creating circus sideshows and living as a circus sideshow, so we should take seriously his every utterance no matter how trivial, shallow, trite and obviously foolish they are.

Girls go the opposite way.

Crime rate
"Second, regarding any crime, male-to-females had a significantly increased risk for crime compared to female controls (aHR 6.6; 95% CI 4.1–10.8) but not compared to males (aHR 0.8; 95% CI 0.5–1.2). This indicates that they retained a male pattern regarding criminality. The same was true regarding violent crime."; 10/15/19, 12:05 PM
Kay said...: We are born naked and the rest is drag

I liked this quote. I think it would’ve made a good headline for this post too, as it relates to the one about the President standing naked.; 10/15/19, 12:19 PM
Jamie said...: I like and admire RuPaul. He's a brilliant performer and promoter, and an incredible, if sometimes uncompromising, mentor to other performers if what we see on camera is accurate. But if homosexuality is a nature thing rather than a learned behavior (and I believe that it at least usually is such), then he is probably not an authority on what emotions and behaviors constitute "normal" (read as "majority," if you like) masculinity.

I'm not saying he isn't a man. Just that he's not a "typical" (again, read as "majority" if you like) man. He, and the contestants, appear to exhibit about the level of competitiveness that I expect from people with mostly testosterone, and to a good extent that competitiveness has a "masculine" flavor to it - it's out and proud, to coin a phrase, rather than passive-aggressive (as I see more often in groups of competitive women, at least outside of actual sporting events). But the manifestation of it tends to be more freely emotional (more tears and more high shouting), more personally directed (more name-calling), and less physical (less invasion of personal space) than I would characterize competition between hetero men.

But of course all that is for the cameras, so who knows? And I've never seen even one episode of whatever that reality show with the Jersey people was.; 10/15/19, 12:22 PM
Hey Skipper said...: Yes, in this vivid formulation, the ostensibly manly folk are paradoxically unmanly.

It is indeed a vivid formulation. Doesn't mean it's worth a darn.

Listen to This American Life: Testosterone.

Reality bites.; 10/15/19, 12:26 PM
sunsong said...: donald is VERY emotional; 10/15/19, 12:56 PM
Sam L. said...: Nobody never pushed that pill on me! First I heared of it.; 10/15/19, 1:17 PM
Christopher said...: It's actually quite the opposite.

Ask anybody in law enforcement and they'll tell you that the vast majority of violence is perpetrated by extremely emotional people who have little self control (or who are under the influence of some drug).; 10/15/19, 1:31 PM
Kevin said...: Johnny Fontane: A month ago, he bought the movie rights to this book. A best seller - and the main character, it's a guy just like me, I, uh, I wouldn't even have to act, just be myself. [tearing up] Oh, Godfather, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

Don Corleone: [shouts] You can act like a man!

[Don Corleone slaps Johnny]; 10/15/19, 1:49 PM
bagoh20 said...: "Stoicism used to be considered a virtue."

What is the opposite of stoicism, becuase that's the new virtue that is making the culture into a humourless, impotent, self-destructive puddle of pudding. You wouldn't imagine that a less stoic culture would end up being humourless, but that's what we got. Stoic, tough men create and protect a space for humour, for tolerance, and for a lot more. Who will fight for that now? Nobody in the NBA, that's for sure - a bunch of greedy gigantic pussies.; 10/15/19, 1:52 PM
bagoh20 said...: Imagine if we all just did what we felt like, and then demanded that you respect it. I don't think anyone wants to live that world. That's like pre-neanderthal shit.; 10/15/19, 1:55 PM
bagoh20 said...: The whole thing is a strawman argument. It's just not true.; 10/15/19, 1:56 PM
bagoh20 said...: Boys are not forced to be stoic; most of us are drawn to it naturally. We love the men in stories who are strong like that, and we want to emulate them all on our own. It is probably one of the strongest forces on our development, and it comes from within. Either that or Dad was slipping me that pill in my Ovaltine.; 10/15/19, 2:23 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Johnny Fontane: A month ago, he bought the movie rights to this book. A best seller - and the main character, it's a guy just like me, I, uh, I wouldn't even have to act, just be myself. [tearing up] Oh, Godfather, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

Don Corleone: [shouts] You can act like a man!

[Don Corleone slaps Johnny]

LOL

Makes me think of the scene in Moonstruck where Cher's character has her future BIL (Nicolas Cage) emotionally confessing his undying love for her.

Cher: Slap...Slap.....SNAP OUT OF IT!

Seriously. Like Bago says. Today's culture is a pile of useless triggered pudding. Ready to weep and wail at the most idiotic or trivial perceived insult or problem. SNAP OUT OF IT!!!; 10/15/19, 2:26 PM
Ken B said...: Re the pill. Hardin wins. If there were a real pill, Hardin would have lost, but the pill is just a metaphor. Embracing your burgeoning powers of abstraction.; 10/15/19, 2:31 PM
gahrie said...: Imagine if we all just did what we felt like, and then demanded that you respect it.

No need to imagine, just walk on to any college campus.

I don't think anyone wants to live that world

I am, and I don't.; 10/15/19, 2:35 PM
TheOne Who Is Not Obeyed said...: RuPaul is a fun house image of Donald Trump, and made his name using a vehicle that Trump used - the spectacle of "reality" TV.; 10/15/19, 2:41 PM
Jim at said...: I never thought I'd see the day where 'masculinity' and 'RuPaul' were side-by-side tags.

But here we are.; 10/15/19, 3:17 PM
DavidUW said...: I don't think there's any pill.

There's a realization oddly around 12-13, maybe 14, that if you're a whiny dude, you're never going to get laid.

That is not something a 13-14 year old boy wants to contemplate.

So he acts "like a man" in order to get a woman. Which is what women want.

weird.; 10/15/19, 3:37 PM
Lazarus said...: "'Most of the violence and ill-will that our world has is linked to that moment,' he added."

Is he talking about the actual pills given to boys to control them, or about conventional ideas of masculinity? Probably the latter, though it's a debatable point either way.

Something to consider is that ideas of masculinity in the 18th or 19th century didn't necessarily involved suppressing emotions - not to the extent that 20th century thinking did. Gender roles were more fixed back then and men felt freer expressing feelings (I think). As homosexuality was still largely something that dared not speak its name, men weren't trying to avoid being thought homosexual (not to the degree that they were later).

But is the change the cause of "most of the violence and ill-will" in the world? That's much less likely.; 10/15/19, 7:02 PM
Howard said...: Didn't Brad Pitt just say the same thing?; 10/15/19, 7:10 PM
Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...: DavidUW97: Accurate.

And I think it is something no woman will ever understand, and they are unqualified to respond to. And I don't give a shit if they have sons and feel a mother’s love. They re destroying their son’s future if they intervene, and haven’t a clue about how they are doing so.

Today’s drama du jour is football. What women want to do is spare their boys a life of contact. Some boys crave — and love — contact sports. Again, I don’t care if you don’t get that. It’s true. It’s a “DUH” item.

All parents want grandchildren. It’s the natural order of things. If you coddle your kids, you won’t coddle your grandkids.

Clear?; 10/15/19, 7:35 PM
Nichevo said...: There's a realization oddly around 12-13, maybe 14, that if you're a whiny dude, you're never going to get laid.

That is not something a 13-14 year old boy wants to contemplate.

So he acts "like a man" in order to get a woman. Which is what women want.

weird

Seriously! Ann is always on about what she wants. AA, in a million years, at any age or spread of ages, would you fuck a RuPaul?; 10/15/19, 10:46 PM
M.K. Popovich said...: I'm binge watching RuPaul's Drag Race right now. It's very entertaining. He's devised a rather beautiful and amusing tv formula. Art occasionally happens. Interesting use of language, lots of wordplay. Words are important, especially (but not exclusively) the word bitch. I love it.; 10/16/19, 2:27 AM