October 16, 2019

"[Felicity] Huffman will be expected to eat breakfast from 5:30 a.m. to 6:15 a.m., lunch from 10:45 a.m. to noon, and dinner after 4 p.m. When she’s not eating, Huffman can do a variety of things..."

"... including listening to music on a pre-approved device. She’s also allowed to work on one in-unit craft project at a time. This includes cross-stitch, drawing, card making, crotchet, origami, scrapbooking and watercolor. If she wants to spend time outside, which is open to her from 6:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., Huffman can engage in a series of sports, including basketball, volleyball, track, softball, and tennis. While at the prison, Huffman will be expected to wear an inmate uniform at all times. The uniform consists of khaki pants and a coordinating blouse with a brown t-shirt underneath, with the blouse tucked in and buttoned (minus the top button) at all times."

From the People Magazine account of the actress's living conditions in the minimum security prison where she's serving a 2-week sentence.

The noun "crotchet" means "A whimsical fancy; a perverse conceit; a peculiar notion on some point (usually considered unimportant) held by an individual in opposition to common opinion" (OED). It would be funny if that were considered a craft project to recommend to prisoners.

The "kind of knitting done with a hooked needle" — which is probably what People meant — is spelled "crochet."

ADDED: The prison — the Federal Correctional Institution, Dublin — is where Patty Hearst was held for 21 months. President Jimmy Carter commuted her 7-year sentence in 1979 and Bill Clinton pardoned her in 2001. And Sara Jane Moore — who tried to assassinate Gerald Ford — spent 32 years there. Moore got a life sentence but was released on parole.

59 comments:

n.n said...

She's of a lesser class than she had presumed, where privilege and influence are exercised with discretionary approval.

Nichevo said...

When's the prison rape scheduled? Have they penciled that in or is it in flex-time?

Rob said...

Bill Clinton pardoned her on his last day in office. Such a profile in courage.

zipity said...


OH.....! THE HUMANITY.....!

How will she ever survive such deprivations.....?

Sebastian said...

I know many people want the privileged libs to suffer, but what law did she actually break? From the published accounts, it was not entirely clear to me.

tcrosse said...

Crotchet is also a quarter-note, appropriate if she's behind bars.

MikeR said...

Prison is horrible. It is cruel and inhuman punishment and should be abolished, and pretending that it is a cakewalk will only work for people who have never been there.

Bay Area Guy said...

Yeah, I know Dublin -- the area, not the Club Fed. Nice little town -- 30 miles east of SF. Pretty normal, middle class folks. Probably 75-25 Dem.

As for Huffman, 2 weeks for cheating on the SATs? Sounds about right....

Todd Roberson said...

What about Loughlin?

JPS said...

So this sounds less stressful and less tightly controlled than Basic Training, only seven weeks shorter.

FullMoon said...

Oh great, go in naive and innocent, come out a hardened criminal. I predict AB neck tattoos and a real bad attitude.

stlcdr said...

Tragic. Those Hong Kong protesters need to chill. They don't know how good they've got it.

readering said...

Folks in SoCal really talk about this scandal, I guess because USC front and center.

Fernandinande said...

Now that I sorta know who she is, I feel safer knowing that Felicity Huffman is off the streets.

Bob Smith said...

FCI Dublin. AKA Club Fed.

Mr Wibble said...

Honestly, the idea of two weeks in jail is silly.

Bring back the whipping post, so we can have honest punishment without this stupidity.

Openidname said...

"Sebastian said...

"What law did she actually break? From the published accounts, it was not entirely clear to me."

Mail fraud.

Bill Peschel said...

Six months from now, People magazine will run the cover story on Felicity Huffman's comeback and looking bravely towards a new future, new projects, and renewed love for her family.

It's already penciled in and mostly written.

Big Mike said...

Of course Sara Moore was paroled. She tried to assassinate a Republican President.

Fritz said...

What a waste of resources. Increase their fines by a factor of 10.

WK said...

Huffman can engage in a series of sports, including basketball, volleyball, track, softball, and tennis.

Too bad they don’t have rowing. I hear that can help to get you places.

JaimeRoberto said...

Ah, Dublin. The town that gave us Swalwell.

stevew said...

Loughlin remains TBD. I hear she refused a plea deal and the speculation is that her sentence will be "significantly" longer that Huffman's. BWDIK.

rhhardin said...

That's nice but I don't understand the crime. The university might have a claim against an employee but the lady's just paying a business for a service.

tcrosse said...

In the interest of Human Rights, may we please inspect the menu for those time-constricted meals?

Rocco said...

Sounds like a cross between Catholic grade school and a retirement home.

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

2 week vacation. Nice time to get caught up on some reading.

Skeptical Voter said...

Club Fed at Dublin. The weather is not bad at this time of year. She'll be out in less than two weeks--probably get four days off her sentence for good behavior. The scenery in Dublin and the Livermore Valley is sort of blah, but she'll survive. If they let her work in the kitchen she may be a chance to bake some chocolate chip cookies. She can use Martha Stewart's recipe, or maybe Hillary's--or find a good one in Pow Wow Chow.

I've visited a friend in the Lompoc California Club Fed where John Dean worked on his tennis game. My friend--a former White House Fellow (gee that makes at least two White House denizens in the Lompoc Club Fed at various times) had been involved in an immigration scam with his Filipino travel agent second wife. There weren't any walls or fences at Lompoc. OTOH it was immediately adjacent to a medium security Federal prison with real walls, and real scary inmates. The white collar criminals at Club Fed knew that if they messed up, they'd be transferred to the medium security prison. That possibility tended to keep the white collar inmates well in line.

MacMacConnell said...

The worst part of a minimum security prison are the rules and constant control of your activities. Also, the power struggles over which channels to watch in the TV room, expect to see a lot of Black TV. You have to buy everything in the commissary, prisons don't supply shampoo.
The up side is that she will learn how to make Frito pie with a lunch bag size of Fritos and ketchup plus spices.

She will make new friends, mostly methheads with tattooed necks who have lost their children.

Dan said...

Update on your update. Sara Jane Moore apparently violated her parole in February of this year (an unauthorized trip to Israel) and went back to jail. She's 89.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

"I have broken the law.... I am ashamed of the pain I have caused my daughter, my family, my friends, my colleagues.... My desire to help my [child] is no excuse to break the law or engage in dishonesty. At the end of the day I had a choice to make. I could have said, 'no.' There are no excuses or justifications for my actions. Period."

The above statements were made by:
..Joe Biden in reference to compensation paid to himself and/or family members by companies seeking legislative advantage?
..Felicity Huffman in reference to false statements and illegal payments to gain college admission for a family member?

tim maguire said...

If I were inclined to buy my daughter’s way into an ivy league school, two weeks in what looks like a fairly cushy prison wouldn’t even give me pause.

Yancey Ward said...

Maybe Huffman give People her best prison recipes when she gets out.

Mark said...

I don't know the federal system, but it would seem to be unusual that a short-timer like this would serve in prison rather than a local jail. It takes two weeks just to do the paperwork and arrange for the transportation.

daskol said...

If people would just be properly ashamed, perhaps we wouldn't need to punish venal sins with financial destruction or, when that fails because a Huffman or Loughlin has achieved security, prison. Ugly.

Michael K said...

I am ashamed of the pain I have caused my daughter,

The daughter was partying on the boat of the Chair of SC's Board of Trustees, who should be the one in jail.

These people are worse than shit.

Hagar said...

Still waiting to see university officials, up to and including regents, get prosecuted and convicted.

Anonymous said...

Most of these comments are uninformed. I spend over a year in Texas county jails and prisons. Two weeks is nothing. If she keeps her mouth shut and ears and eyes open, she will have an easier time than on a press tour.
I went to an elite eastern boarding school, an Ivy League college, Army officer candidate school and prison. Prison was the easiest. Two weeks is nothing. The worst part of a Texas prison is when I got sick. That almost killed me.

Community service is the worst. I had to do 200 hours at 8 hours a day cutting grass.
Given the choice I would do another two weeks in prison to avoid that.

Huffman needs to spend her time in her cell reading, avoiding other prisoners who may want something from her, obey the guards and get the hell out.

daskol said...

I don't know Michael K, she and William Macy seem like nice people who did some unethical things, seemingly minor, to advance their and their chidlrens' status in life. Strivers. I'm not apologizing for her venality, but the ostentatiousness of her degradation and punishment seem out of proportion with the sin. I don't even understand the crime, exactly, but not a lawyer, so yeah, just giving the soap opera perspective.

Gunner said...

Wouldn't everybody be better off if she just donated ten million dollars to some charity not affiliated with her Hollywood friends?

Rocco said...

Yancey Ward said...
Maybe Huffman gives People her best prison recipes when she gets out.

I dunno about People, but next month in Good Housekeeping:
- 3 critical "must dos" to make prison hootch in the toilet.
- 6 things that you never knew you could make a shiv out of.
- Not just curtains and throw pillows: 12 tips to give your cell that homey touch.

Michael K said...

I don't know Michael K, she and William Macy seem like nice people who did some unethical things, seemingly minor, to advance their and their chidlrens' status in life.

First, the daughter admitted she just wanted to party.

The guy who is shit is the Board Chief who is a real estate developer in LA. He is a real shit.

I graduated from SC 60 years ago when it was honest and not that highly rated. The medical school; dean was more coked up than Hunter Biden, The football team has been screwed for ten years.

The medical school was good until recently. I don't know anymore.

The law school was good but then they had Edwin Chemerensky, a far lefty.

The black U president fired the business school dean, which prompted a demonstration. He was not "Diverse" enough.

I would not send a kid there (two of mine did graduate) but I could not afford it anyway; $57,000 tuition.

stephen cooper said...

Michael K,---- think about it this way.
I kind of like EVERYONE WHO CHEATED A LITTLE TO GET BACK AT THE CHEATERS WHO RESERVED PLACES IN THE RENUMERATIVE INSTITUTIONS FOR THEIR KIDS when other people's kids had worked harder


Felicity Huffman is a heroine for striking back at the CHEATERS WHO SEND THEIR KIDS TO GREAT SCHOOLS because they have connections

while my kids have no fucking chance to go to great schools.
Because they play by the rules.
And the rules are stacked against honest kids.
YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING DOCTOR FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!!

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE !!!!

Look I want all kids to be happy and to go to great schools where they will be able to achieve the most they can in life ....
and I feel no resentment when i think of the thousands of out of sight rich parents who, legally, gave their kids advantages that poor Felicity could only give to her children by breaking the law ...

BUT IT IS A FUCKING DISGRACE THAT SHE SPENT A SINGLE MOMENT WORRYING ABOUT PROSECUTORS WHO TOTALLY BETRAYED THIER OATH OF OFFICE BY TARGETING HER INSTEAD OF SPENDING THEIR TIME TARGETING REAL CRIMINALS

Felicity Huffman is a heroine and the "law enforcement" people who went after her and actually sent her to jail

should be ashamed of themselves

YOU ARE A DOCTOR AND DOCTORS CARE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT !!!!

stephen cooper said...

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE !!!!

stephen cooper said...

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HERO!

God bless her

I know how to pray and I pray that God blesses her and that she knows that

she is a hero!

WK said...

I believe it was Lori Loughlin’s daughter who was partying on the boat with USC trustee.

AZ Bob said...

"Felicity Huffman won't even spend a full two weeks behind bars despite her 14-day prison sentence ... TMZ has learned.

"Felicity will only spend 13 days behind bars. That's because when she was initially arrested at her home, taken in and booked, that counts as one day toward completing her sentence ... even though she was only in custody for a few hours."
TMZ

Is this supposed to be significant?

ndspinelli said...

Sarah Jane Moore is back in prison for parole violation. She was a bitch when incarcerated and thinks rules don't apply. She's in the Brooklyn MCC.

stephen cooper said...

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE

I would be so proud to have a daughter like her

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE


if you disagree, wake up, she went to jail for trying

the way the losers in life often try to try to have just a little bit of the good things that the WINNERS IN LIFE WANT TO DEPRIVE THEM OF

God bless her she took risks for people she loved.

I HOPE TO GOD YOU WOULD ALSO TAKE RISKS FOR PEOPLE YOU LOVE!!!!!



I am gonna say this as briefly as I can.

You have to have a lot of hate or coldness in your heart if you have the least little bit of a condescending attitude for
FELICITY HUFFMAN THE HEROINE.

And if you have no idea what I am talking about

think about this

either you care about the losers in life or you don't.

don't condescend to those of us who understand how hard life is for people who do not have privileges.

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE.

and I feel so sad for the "law enforcement" losers who should be ashamed of themselves for going after her instead of actually trying to do what they were paid to do, to use the government dollars they were given to go after real criminals.

Felicity Huffman is a heroine and the law enforcement losers who did not have the basic human decency to just get on the phone and tell her hey here is some good advice just show up and charm the matriculation committee just go and talk to the people who decide who gets to access THE VERY IMPORTANT slots in the freshman class .....

those losers are the real losers in this story.

FELICITY HUFFMAN IS A HEROINE!

I respect her.

She is a human being whom almost all of us should look to with respect.

Sebastian said...

"the ostentatiousness of her degradation and punishment seem out of proportion with the sin"

Correct. The universal glee is the tell.

"Mail fraud."

Yeah, right. IOW, a ham sandwich indictment and conviction.

Narayanan said...

I hope in Era of Trump all have learned to steal pancakes.

A wise Guy have said: if President do it is muchly legit.

Narayanan said...

Openidname said

"Sebastian said...

What law did she actually break? From the published accounts, it was not entirely clear to me."

Mail fraud.
_________
So Trump Ukraine phone call was Wired Fraud.
Photo shows phone with wire.

Narayanan said...

Done With style in India ...
Almost with flashbangs and SWAT.

College scam + political score setting


https://www.news18.com/news/india/it-dept-raids-former-karnataka-dy-cm-parameshwars-residence-siddharamaiah-hits-out-2340091.html

BudBrown said...

I knew this woman back in the 70s who'd sometimes open the door and with a raised
fist yell Free Tanya.

lgv said...

Easier than 2 weeks at Canyon Ranch Spa.

Bob Smith said...

Helpful hint. Felicity and Lori and all the rest of the folks who have been arrested in this case are collateral damage in the FBI’s efforts to get their reputation back. The senior guys and gals slept with the Obama administration for eight years and now they want their virginity back. Doesn’t mean what the perps did wasn’t wrong, just means the Fibbies, who missed the 9-11 hijackers, tried to pin the Atlanta Olympic bombing on Richard Jewell, lost the plot on the post 9-11 Anthrax attack, and allowed themselves to be co-opted into the bogus Mueller investigation are going to have to work their passage.

Krumhorn said...

I don’t know about you, but I feel a hell of a lot safer with her locked up.

I’m actually starting to feel sorry for those caught up in the Varsity Blues mess. This whole thing has taken on a certain Puritanical Purge mentality by those obsessed by wealth and the excesses of the wealthy. Just reading the leftie reviewers carry on about the last episode of Succession as they cringe in loathing of the super rich while tingling with excitement at their torment, I get the sense that we deplorables and the insufficiently woke moneyed will end up in reedukation kamps as soon as the lefties gain the whip hand and can thrash out any privilege.....but they’ll have their dachas.

- Krumhorn

0_0 said...

Some of you aren't getting it.

Most of the listed arrestees claimed a charitable donation on their taxes when it was really a payment to the facilitator. This fraudulently reduced their Federal taxes owed.

Tax fraud will get you in trouble.

RobinGoodfellow said...

daskol said...
If people would just be properly ashamed, perhaps we wouldn't need to punish venal sins ...


Shame used to be a terminal disease in some locations. Not so much since the advent of the Jerry Springer Show.