August 7, 2019

The "30-50 feral hogs" guy.


Via "The '30–50 Feral Hogs' Guy Actually Had a Point" (Slate).
The tweet was an immediate sensation. Someone made a video game (“Protect your 2 children from 30-50 feral hogs within a 3-5 mins time limit“), Slate published a feral hog–themed riff on a classic short story, and feral hogs trended on Twitter. The tweet was wonderfully specific, and the image it conjured was absurd on its face. Making feral hog jokes became a welcome respite from days of mourning mass shootings and arguing about their causes online.

But there was one question that few people thought to ask: What if feral hog guy was right?...
If you too enjoyed the "wonderfully specific" writing of William McNabb, let me recommend the subreddit r/suspiciouslyspecific.

90 comments:

henry said...

It takes the absurd to cut through all the noise.

Lucid-Ideas said...

I prefer to hunt my feral hogs with a machine-gun...

...from a helicopter.

...at night using thermal.

For the children.

Fernandinande said...

The infinite abundance of love kills a lot of stuff.

Lucid-Ideas said...

Seriously though, the best way to get the runts is using a BoarBuster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsFXhGoDnW0

Gets the whole sounder in one go! Then you can 'take your time' with them. No evil black rifles needed!

Lucid-Ideas said...

...Or rig a feeder with 10lbs of Tannerite. Pigs can fly. Ask me how.

Nonapod said...

Lucid-Ideas, I take it you've seen Ted Nugent's APORKALYPSE NOW!.

Beasts of England said...

Shut up and sing, Jason.

Dave Begley said...

Feral hogs really are a problem in TX, AK, OK, KS and parts of southern NE. I read it in The New Yorker a number of years ago.

When I was in San Antonio (near China Grove) a few years back, a wild hog trashed a lawn in my sister's subdivision.

Feral hogs are a giant problem in Germany and Berlin. The Germans hire specially licensed gunmen to hunt them down. I read it in the WSJ; paper edition.

Maillard Reactionary said...

Lucid-Ideas @8:55 AM:

I like the way you think, bro.

Put some thermite in there with it and they'll be barbecued by the time they land.

Gilbert Pinfold said...

Serious problem in lots of states--millions of dollars in property damage just in Texas alone, without considering the potential to destroy the domestic pork industry if Classical Swine Fever or African Swine Fever gets loose in the feral hog population. CSF virus is moving up from Central America, and feral hogs don't stop at Customs checkpoints.

iowan2 said...

I always hear some nitwit utter, "they have no need for that" 'That' is whatever they are wholly ignorant.

The truth that can not be uttered? Our right to keep and bear arms is to protect the citizens from the government. Falling into the debate about method, tool, tactic, etc, plays into the lefts defining all the terms. This has zero to do with hunting. It has everything to do with a corrupt Government

I have to protect myself from the government.

They can disarm the public, when high profile citizens and elected govt officials go without armed protection details.
Presidential candidate Kamala Harris has an extremely rare California Concealed Carry Permit for her hand gun.

Dave Begley said...

2005, The New Yorker.

"Suddenly, feral swine are everywhere."

Do something!

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005/12/12/hogs-wild

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

OT:
Dayton shooter Connor Betts may be antifa’s first mass killer

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

Are Feral hogs good eats?

Annie C. said...

We just had new neighbors move in a little ways down the lake. Moved here after their four year old was mauled by wild hogs in east Texas.

Fernandinande said...

Giant pink feral hog arrested

Lucid-Ideas said...

I've taken probably 13-14 hogs in at least 4 states. People just do not appreciate how tough razorbacks really are. I've seen mature males take 2or 3 5.56 or 30-30 hind-quarter or shoulder hits and keep chugging.

Nothing short of head-shots, heart-lungs, or spinal makes them reliably stop and even then there can be quite a bit of squeeling. An ex-girlfriend hit years back hit one at 50yds with a brenneke 1oz slug head-on and it stopped and stared at us for a solid 5 seconds before keeling over.

They are super-tough animals. And smart too.

Lucid-Ideas said...

@Bleachbit

Very. Good. Eating. Middle-age or less is preferable. Much leaner and 'porkier' than farm hogs. Mature boars can be somewhat gamey. There's also less loin meat in general because they're far more active than farm hogs.

Highly recommend.

Hagar said...

By "assault rifle" I assume they mean .223 or 7.62x39 caliber rifles, which I think is a bit light for feral hogs.

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

If the feral hogs are a problem + good eats. What's the problem? Good eats!

Dave Begley said...

I think Liz Warren should go hunt hogs in Texas with an AK. What a photo op.

Bring along Mika and Joe.

Lucid-Ideas said...

@Dave Begley

I'd only be impressed if she took one with bow and arrow.

Mike Sylwester said...

If you think the terms of discussion should be defined, then you are part of the problem!

Mike Sylwester said...

Have any of the Democrat candidates denounced AntiFa?

Annie C. said...

I won't go into the gory details or describe what the poor child looks like, but feral hogs are an enormous problem here in Texas.

There are an estimated 1.5 million in Texas right now, and the State wildlife departments mostly believe that is a gross underestimation.

Herb said...

the expert says it wouldnt work, they would scatter and take off and you would only likely kill one. Isnt that the point you want them off your yard, i doubt anyone wants 20 carcassas strewn around their home.

Dave Begley said...

Annie C:

There are only 1.8 million people in Nebraska.

Read that New Yorker story from 2005. I would submit that the property damage of feral hogs is a major problem and the federal government must do something about it. Now!

Send the National Guard out on big hog hunts.

Mr Wibble said...

The truth that can not be uttered? Our right to keep and bear arms is to protect the citizens from the government. Falling into the debate about method, tool, tactic, etc, plays into the lefts defining all the terms. This has zero to do with hunting. It has everything to do with a corrupt Government

There are plenty of people on the right willing to utter that truth. The left usually responds with some variation of "the government has tanks, planes, bombs, nukes, drones, etc. You can't stand up to that." Usually these same folks insist that defeating the Iraqi and Afghanistan insurgencies, consisting of third-world fighters armed with little more than rifles, is impossible for the American military.

bagoh20 said...

"You know what an assault weapon is, and you know you don’t need one."

Sounds like someone who just lost the argument. If we all know what one is, then just tell us, and why is the weapon used in less than 2% of the murders the big problem you want solved. Is it because they usually kill White people?

The Second Amendment isn't there just because I need it. It's that WE need it. It's OK. Nobody is gonna expect you to stand up for your rights or even your life. We know what you are. The rest of us will take care of it for you.

There are lots of things we don't need. Most of our rights are not necessary, especially if you are willing to submit, but this is the one country where you don't have to. The only one on the planet. There are a lot of other nations where your sentiments are not at odds with their foundational principles and constitution. Why not live there, and just let us Americans Americate.

Howard said...

Trap them

rcocean said...

Usually if you shoot feral hog, the rest run away as quickly as possible. They're smart.

Larvell said...

“There's also less loin meat in general because they're far more active”

Does this apply to humans too? And if so, is it particularly tied to loin activity, or just activity in general? Asking for a friend.

bagoh20 said...

John Lovell, the man with the best hair on the internet posted a short video with a great metaphor for the wisdom of Gun Control from a 14th century mistake. I think it's great.

Active Killers, Cat Control, & THE BLACK DEATH

TreeJoe said...

I don't need a 30 round magazine 5.56 for feral hogs.

I need it as a countermeasure to equally armed criminals or in the event of a government trying to forcibly restrict my rights and that can no longer be relied upon to be redressed through political channels.

If you can guarantee me the criminals won't be thus armed and that my government's political system works reliably to redress wrongs, I'll be happy to limit myself to lower capacity and less powerful weaponry.

...

On the same note: I'm more concerned about the current threats to the 1st amendment than the 2nd, by far. There's a reason the 1st amendment is the FIRST right that needed to be clearly enunciated. It's the most important.

stlcdr said...

"...need..."

I get that refrain from by British family all.the.time. Subjects are brainwashed into only having things that they 'need' and if you cannot adequately explain a need, then you cannot have it.

Indeed, if you have a knife in public in England, you are automatically guilty of a crime unless you can explain and provide evidence of a need.

We don't 'need' a lot of things. We don't 'need' Trader Joes or Kale, but here we are.

ceowens said...

@Howard

"Feral Hog Problem"

Just copy and paste the phrase into your search bar. It is not that hard.

Charlie said...

I'm a fan of Jason Isbell (and his smoking hot wife Amada Shires) but this kind of politicking makes me like him less. Shut up and sing.

bagoh20 said...

One reason I need an AR-15 is because the bad guy has one, and you can't do anything about that.

Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...

TreeJoe: How about the entire Bill of Rights is important?

JohnAnnArbor said...

...Or rig a feeder with 10lbs of Tannerite. Pigs can fly. Ask me how.

No cluster bombs or napalm?

Wince said...

The "30-50 feral hogs" guy.

Is this a post about Titus?

Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...

I’m just glad there are wise people like Jason Isbell out there who will determine what I need.

Michael K said...

Blogger Mike Sylwester said...
Have any of the Democrat candidates denounced AntiFa?


Have any Democrats or news media mentioned the views of the Dayton killer?

Antifa member,.

Gospace said...

From what I've heard, crew served weapons work best against feral hogs.

A 20 round magazine of .223 ammo won't won't stop them- not enough stopping power in a .223 and 20 isn't enough. For one feral hog.

Ignatius Acton Chesterton OCD said...

bagoh20: “One reason I need an AR-15 is because the bad guy has one, and you can't do anything about that.”

I think the problem with people like Jason Isbell is that he WON’T do anything about that.

bagoh20 said...

I can easily show how I need my guns more that he needs 90% of what's in his house.

Carter Wood said...

I can't believe his name is Leiningen.

Leiningen Versus the Ants, Old Time Radio. Enjoyable.

William Conrad as Leiningen:

https://www.escape-suspense.com/files/Escape.1949.08.04_Leiningen_vs_the_Ants.mp3

Tudor Owen as Leiningen:

https://www.escape-suspense.com/files/Escape.1949.08.04_Leiningen_vs_the_Ants.mp3

Oso Negro said...

Napalm could work. But everyone knows that children are better off using crew-served weapons.

Ralph L said...

Shouldn't the original tweet read "a question from rural Americans," not for?

bagoh20 said...

I think it's true that no mass killer has ever expressed support for Trump, while a number of them have expressed support for some of the current Dem candidates, and most supported the same philosophies as the Dems, so how does Trump get blamed for these? Has anybody in the media who is not on FOX expressed these facts? Is it ever discussed?

The Godfather said...

Reading this thread makes me kind of sorry we don't have feral hogs in my neck of the woods. They sound like fun. I'd favor a BAR.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

David "Feral" Hogg not happy

tonyg said...

Jason - I'm a fan. Please don't pull a Springsteen on me. Listen to the great Eric Clapton: "One of the most beneficial things I've ever learned is how to keep my mouth shut."

rcocean said...

I think a couple surplus M-60s could solve the Hog Problem quite easily. You could wipe out six or seven before they knew what hit them.

Maillard Reactionary said...

What many people don't seem to recognize is that the right to keep and bear arms is a preexisting, "natural" right of a free people, which was recognized by the Founders and memorialized in the Constitution. Antonin Scalia made this point very clearly in one of his speeches (see "Scalia Speaks", highly recommended).

The Second Amendment is most decidedly not a "grant" from the Government to the people, which can be rescinded or constrained at will by the rulers. It is a limitation on what the Government is allowed to do. (Honored more in the breach than the observance, these days, in many States.)

This fact is conveniently obscured by those with a statist agenda who are (understandably) uneasy with the idea of an armed citizenry.

CWJ said...

"subreddit r/suspiciouslyspecific"

One of Chip Dunham's "Overboard" comics had the punch line; "A good lie has details."

Dave Begley said...

I submit that feral hogs are bigger danger to Americans that global warming. A clear and present danger. Act now!

RigelDog said...

"John Lovell, the man with the best hair on the internet"

I've got such a crush on this dude....husband and I watch his videos frequently and husband is nice enough to not mind that I would use a time-machine to go back and meet JL pre-marriage if I could. Just to pet his hair if nothing else.

Maillard Reactionary said...

RigelDog:

"I've got such a crush on this dude....husband and I watch his videos frequently and husband is nice enough to not mind that I would use a time-machine to go back and meet JL pre-marriage if I could. Just to pet his hair if nothing else."

He recognizes that it's just a woman thing. My wife likes to pat my hair too. I let her do it when I'm in the mood for that sort of thing.

narciso said...

Talk about slaughter:

https://mobile.twitter.com/heytammybruce/status/1158929523494260736

Big Mike said...

I think a couple surplus M-60s could solve the Hog Problem quite easily. You could wipe out six or seven before they knew what hit them.

Use a Pig to wipe out hogs!

Big Mike said...

Thankfully we don't have a feral hog problem hereabouts. Black bears are a nuisance, but they tend to be nocturnal and solitary.

Browndog said...

I guess once we figure out a state solution to feral hogs, there will no longer be any excuse to keep our guns.

I blame a lot of Bush era "conservatives" that would fall back on "hunting" to defend the 2nd Amendment.

Even to this day, liberals define the terms of the argument, and we spend all our time defending ourselves.

You're not getting our guns. Period. There is no discussion.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Thankfully we don't have a feral hog problem hereabouts. Black bears are a nuisance, but they tend to be nocturnal and solitary.”

No feral pig problem here either. Black bear, of course, but also some brown. But the animal moving in here that is well addressed with AR-15s are the wolves. Turns out that the ones moving in aren’t quite the indigenous type wiped out. Rather they are a closely related Canadian version that are a bit bigger, and run in bigger packs, than those wiped out by the pioneers.

bagoh20 said...

"I've got such a crush on this dude."

Every woman I show his videos to has that reaction. I have kind of a man crush on him myself, and his wife is gorgeous too.

JAORE said...

Point one: The Second Amendment isn't about hunting.

Pint two: We have a feral hog problem in Alabama. An AR-15 is the weapon of choice for many. Light, maneuverable, rapid follow up shots.

Leon said...

To shoot more than one hog in a setting you need to lead the running ones. Todd Huey has gotten something like 15 as I recall.

Unknown said...

I thought this was going to be about the Wikipedia entry for Michael Gove.

Todd said...

There is a bit of a hog problem down in Florida too but the bigger problem is the armadillos. The hogs keep mostly to the rural areas whereas the armadillos go everywhere and will pull a number on your lawn.

The dillos are easier to manage though, especially with a .22 pistol loaded with sub-sonic, that has a red-dot and suppressor. Or so I have heard...

Chuck said...

Todd have you tried quiet-.22 ammo without a suppressor? In most longer barrels, it sounds about like a broom falling over on pavement. Are suppressors allowed in Florida? If you have one, do you mind my asking what your total outlay was in terms of the suppressor itself, the federal tax stamp, and all related legal and administrative paperwork?
{#32}

LCB said...

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...
If the feral hogs are a problem + good eats. What's the problem? Good eats!


Sows can have 2 or 3 litters a year with an average of 6 or 8 piglettes, and as many as ???

Texas has year round open hunting and they can't keep up with the problem.

bagoh20 said...

Sounds like a job for Planned Parenthood.

Todd said...

Chuck said...
{#32}

8/7/19, 1:40 PM


Got it MANY years ago and yes, legal in FL. Started with a Browning Buckmark, added an aftermarket threaded barrel. Got the suppressor local. Went trust route. If I recall my all in on the setup was around $1K. Pistol, after-market barrel, red-dot site, suppressor, and tax stamp.

Use Remington sub-sonic until they became very hard to come by.

The total setup is very "not noticeable" sound wise.

A few years back a new sub-division was going up nearby. Got almost 3 dozen that year. Got tired (and was running out of places) digging holes so just started double bagging them and putting them out with the trash. Got to be careful handling them though as they can carry leprosy.

Anonymous said...

"Blogger BleachBit-and-Hammers said...
If the feral hogs are a problem + good eats. What's the problem? Good eats!"

There are a few problems. One, they're largely nocturnal, especially when it's hot and good night scopes aren't cheap. Two, hogs range widely. Three, lots of landowners have chosen to monetize the problem, charging substantial fees to hunt their land (which wouldn't be a problem if the hogs were polite enough to stay on one tract of land). Four, here in TX, discharging a firearm is often illegal on a plot of fewer than 10 acres. Five, you have to be very careful not to get the blood on you as Brucellosis is a significant risk. Six, the TX Legislature only this year removed the requirement for a hunting license to kill hogs - goes into effect September 1. Seven, as noted by others, you better have your shit together when hunting hogs. They're smart, strong, tough, and in short dangerous.

I could probably think of more reasons. I have been trying to get a free hog hunt for years and can never find anyone who is open to it. It's crazy.

Beasts of England said...

'I'm a fan of Jason Isbell (and his smoking hot wife Amada Shires) but this kind of politicking makes me like him less. Shut up and sing.'

I've known Jason for about twenty years (since DBT). He's kind of a dick. But so am I... :)

Chuck said...

Thanks Todd. I think that yours is an entirely typical story including the trust. Honestly, for $1k I would rather own a simple suppressed.22 just like you, rather than any exotic non suppressed AK, Krinkov, AR, etc. And more than any non suppressed pistol, no matter how fine or exotic.
{#33}

Bruce Hayden said...

“The truth that can not be uttered? Our right to keep and bear arms is to protect the citizens from the government. Falling into the debate about method, tool, tactic, etc, plays into the lefts defining all the terms. This has zero to do with hunting. It has everything to do with a corrupt Government”

“I have to protect myself from the government.”

“They can disarm the public, when high profile citizens and elected govt officials go without armed protection details.
Presidential candidate Kamala Harris has an extremely rare California Concealed Carry Permit for her hand gun.”

There are two primary reasons that the 2nd Amdt was enacted, and they correspond to the first two unalienable rights enumerated in our Declaration of Independence: Life and Liberty. Central to the unalienable right of Life is self defense. For that, handguns are necessary outside the home, and long guns (rifles, carbines, and shotguns) are best inside the home. The second unalienable right is that of Liberty, and that requires the ability to remove a tyrannical government should that become necessary, by force, if necessary. And the AR-15 is king there, since it, among other things, shares a manual of arms with the main battle rifles utilized by our military for nearing 60 years now.

Achilles said...

Tax stamp is $200.

Most suppressors themselves are $800-$2000.

+ tax.

About 9 months on the wait.

I paid just over $1100 total for my .45 suppressor for my fn .45 tactical.

Rifles have much larger and more expensive suppressors generally.

Todd said...


Blogger Achilles said...

Glad I got mine when I did and in .22. Also glad I like .22. Fun and cheap to shoot. Mine is not sealed so I can clean it as needed. Picked up a cheap powder gun from HarborFreight to use to blast it with. Hook it up to the compressor, fill it with baking soda and let her rip...

Bruce Hayden said...

Talking about common sense gun control measures that we can all agree on, my suggestion would e to start with the absurdity that you need to jump through hoops in order to be able to use sound suppressors. For one thing. It is a health issue, with the ears of countless Americans damaged every year for an addition to the NFA that was never mentioned in Congressional debates.

Richard Aubrey said...

See The Beast in The Garden. It's a price we--somebody we never heard of--have to pay.

libertariansafetyguy said...

One of my colleagues deals with ferrel hogs in Texas. It’s not uncommon for him to tell me to hold on on a call while he shoots a few that got near his cattle. To him, a gun is a tool. I’ve never felt safer in my life than around a bunch of fully armed rural Texans.

Big Mike said...

In a masterpiece of perfect timing, Universal Studios started to release trailers for their new movie “The Hunt.” It’s about liberal elites rounding up and hunting MAGA hat-wearing deplorables and hunting. And then liberals wonder why we are refusing to give up our guns.

Metalman said...

Helicopter Feral Hog Hunting in Texas

https://youtu.be/tGu38iKZu5k

Chuck said...

Achilles the ones that have tempted me (Michigan having been a total-ban state on suppressors) were the barrel-integrated suppressors for the Ruger 10/22.

Are you familiar with them?
{#34}

Big Mike said...

More about “The Hunt”:

“The script for The Hunt features the red-state characters wearing trucker hats and cowboy shirts, with one bragging about owning seven guns because it's his constitutional right. The blue-state characters — some equally adept with firearms — explain that they picked their targets because they expressed anti-choice positions or used the N-word on Twitter. "War is war," says one character after shoving a stiletto heel through the eye of a denim-clad hillbilly.”

Yup. War is war.

Michael K said...

“The script for The Hunt features the red-state characters wearing trucker hats

I doubt the writers have read Kurt Schlicter's People's Republic,

Maillard Reactionary said...

Bruce Hayden said:

"For one thing. It is a health issue, with the ears of countless Americans damaged every year for an addition to the NFA that was never mentioned in Congressional debates."

Just so.

And this is not to mention the toll the idiotic suppressor laws take on hunting dogs. I can't even imagine how loud a gunshot sounds to them (the first few times, at least), given how sensitive their hearing seems to be. BTW, suppressors have been developed for shotguns, too, so it is within our power to relieve bird dogs from this abuse as well.

"Silencers" are as chimerical as civilian "assault weapons", but that doesn't stop the media from talking as though either existed, and were a threat to public order.

Paul said...

Yes, it is very effective to kill feral hogs with an AR-15 and silencer. Done here all the time in Texas. And night vision to!!! And add heat imaging devices and UAVs to scout out the terrain!

Yes AR-15s with 30 round mags, silencers, night vision and other high-tech gear! I am sure the liberals would faint if they saw people hunting at night time (yes night!) to kill off dozens of those hogs with these.

Pleasant dreams liberals!

Birkel said...

The wild boar ranges into North Carolina and perhaps coastal Virginia.
Just FYI