June 3, 2019

Some of what I found after that that last post made me google, "How to be more attractive without plastic surgery?"

"I Asked Three Plastic Surgeons How They Would Change My Face And Everyone Answered Differently/Beauty is even more subjective than we think it is" (Buzzfeed).

"12 People Talk About Their Scars, Birthmarks, Skin Conditions, And More/'Everyone is flawed; some of us just have more visible scarring to show for it'" (Buzzfeed).

"12 Ways To Look Hotter (Without Plastic Surgery)." (I'm not putting a link for that because the first 2 items were "Try Cryotherapy" and "Drink Collagen" and the look of disgust on my face was, I'm afraid, making me less attractive.)

"How do I get prettier without makeup or plastic surgery?" (Quora). The answers here are so obvious that they're just a prompt you to notice that you already know the answer: It's all the things you should do for your health and wellbeing anyway.

37 comments:

Fernandinande said...

Chicks dig my dueling scar until they find out it was from tripping over an XBox.

Balfegor said...

The best makeup you can put on is your lovely smile :-)

It may be true, but isn't this considered awfully sexist nowadays?

That said, skincare and grooming go a long way, as the commenters there note. If you have small eyes, or eyes that are spaced widely or narrowly, the right glasses can help quite a lot. Hairstyle can also complement or compensate for some features. Tailoring can help too, although I have extremely strong and unfashionable views on how things ought to be tailored so no one should be taking tailoring advice from me, I'm afraid.

Seeing Red said...

Look at how awash in money this country is.

Tax this heavy.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

How do I get prettier without makeup or plastic surgery?

For women, the answer is easy: hang out in a bar as closing time approaches...

Unknown said...

Make more money.

tcrosse said...

Hang out with ugly people.

Otto said...

I have been at this old age thing longer than i suspect all of you here this website and my only response to old age is "to bad youth is wasted on the young". No matter how you try your golf swing speed will never be the same as when it was when you were twenty.
" I'm afraid, making me less attractive." - i am not touching that line.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

A woman does anything to improve herself-- "YOU GO, GIRL!"

A man tries to improve his lot in life -- "Must be compensating for something."

Achilles said...

My wife didn't like End Games because Thor was a fat drunk.

I didn't like it because they used the laziest plot device in existence.

Wince said...

I'm shooting for either brutally handsome or terminally pretty.

Yancey Ward said...

Giant face-covering tattoo might the the only hope for most of us.

Robert Cook said...

"Look at how awash in money this country is."


Some in this country.

walter said...

One must eschew the shorts.

Jaq said...

I'm shooting for either brutally handsome or terminally pretty

I hate that line, well, the “terminally” part. why not “preternaturally” that would stick out in just as bad a way, but at least it would make sense.

Bay Area Guy said...

"How do I get prettier without makeup or plastic surgery?"

Easy. Don't eat a sheetcake for breakfast, get off your twitter account and go exercise, stop obsessing about leftwing politics, dress nicely, and learn to smile and flirt more.

I have advice for men too, if they dare to ask...

Wince said...

Robert Cook said...
"Look at how awash in money this country is."

Some in this country.



Thankfully we have someone to remind us...

But if you try sometime, you might find
You get what you need

William said...

I'd like to be richer or better looking. I'm just the right height, however. I've got no complaints about my height. Eat your heart out Tom Cruise.

Bay Area Guy said...

Women eschew short men. Every scientific study says so. Don't deny the science.

Advice to men - don't be short.

Yancey Ward said...

I am six feet four, give or take 5 inches.

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

The Cheers show when Rebecca was the female lead. Cliff the letter carrier has unaccountably managed to get himself a girlfriend. She's great, but he wishes she would use just a little makeup. He asks Rebecca for advice. She says: Cliff, you deliver the mail, you must know about those before and after features in the women's magazines. Cliff says yes. THEN WHAT ARE YOU BUGGING ME FOR?

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Try this one neat trick to improve your beauty: Stop being so fucking angry all the time and cheer up. Nothing pretties up a face more than a nice smile.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

for skin: phytoceramides, Hyaluronic acid, collagen
and only wash your face with water-- let your pores
freely express their exudates

for other aspects of a less-than-stellar physiognomy:
be a nice person

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

Althouse, you must get the strangest ads when you are online. You google such a wide range of oddities in the course of writing this blog, that your search history would send a psychiatrist to chasing his tail!

Bay Area Guy said...

My advice to young men is to NOT sleep with liberal women -- even the good-looking ones. They tend to be woke and crazy.

Only sleep with apolitical. moderate or conservative women. There's a lot.

YoungHegelian said...

@Ingachuck'stoothlessARM

let your pores freely express their exudates

Did this line somehow get cross-posted? It sounds like it belongs in the definition of a health Goth.

Fernandinande said...

Hang out with ugly people.

Right in this thread we have The Good, The Bad and The EDH.

Gospace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

@YoungHeg

then try this:
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=house+of+atoz+video&view=detail&mid=74F5134D10E96B387FB974F5134D10E96B387FB9&FORM=VIRE

Titus said...

I am not horny when I am in Wisconsin.

Narr said...

Someday I'll figure out how to get my selfie from the phone to the interwebs.

Narr
Then you'll be sorry!

tcrosse said...

Titus said...
I am not horny when I am in Wisconsin.


Good news for farm animals.

JAORE said...

A full face motorcycle helmet seems to work for me.

Achilles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Achilles said...

Robert Cook said...
"Look at how awash in money this country is."


Some in this country.


And if Robert gets his way we will all be more like the rest of the world.

Plus a few million wreckers and hoarders will receive justice along the way and be starved to death or sent to be properly re-educated.

Fen said...

My advice to young men is to NOT sleep with liberal women -- even the good-looking ones. They tend to be woke and crazy.

Ah, but there are some things you can't do to the future mother of your children.

Liberal women are there for that. Just tell them "it's empowering" and parrot something from Maddow or Colber.

'TreHammer said...

Beer goggles
😎

walter said...

Just wear Goth clothes to the gym.
You'll be Fab.