March 3, 2019

"How did everyone like the salad? I thought it was OK, but it needed just a little more scalp oil and a pinch of dandruff."

Look out! It's the wit of Amy Klobuchar. She'll never shake that eating-salad-with-a-comb story, so she's going with self-deprecating humor.

You never know. I once thought Donald Trump could never be elected President because his hair was so weird.

Maybe there's something mystical about hair — connecting celebrities to the people. I remember how The Beatles got to us with hair. And in politics, it does seem that the candidate with the best hair wins.

It might jinx you to come out and say it, of course. John Kerry, on his first day of campaigning with his veep choice, the ill-fated John Edwards, proclaimed:
"We've got better vision. We've got better ideas. We've got real plans. We've got a better sense of what's happening to America. And we've got better hair. I'll tell you, that goes a long way."
My blogged reaction at the time, July 2004, was:
That bulbous wig of a hairdo Kerry's been using to offset his lengthy face is good hair? That flappy, fine fringe accentuating Edwards' babyish looks is good hair? Please! For decades, I've been groaning about the outdated Beatle haircuts worn by aging Baby Boomers. Long hair is a young man's style that makes an older man look like an unattractive woman! Beatle styling, with combed down bangs in front, belongs in the 1960s--early 70s at the latest. It's as if 20 years from now, some guy were to run for President and wear his hair like this. I realize practically every man in Congress is making the same mistake of keeping the Beatle do alive, but could someone please tell these people how terribly estranged from any sense of style these men are? The only one of the current candidates with a respectable hairstyle is George Bush....
And George Bush won, so by my lights the candidate with the best hair did win in 2004, as in all the other elections, including the ones with our last bald president, Dwight D. Eisenhower.



The question of Trump's hair was immensely complicated in 2016, when his opponent was a woman whose oft-changing hair had been a matter of public inquiry for a quarter century. But she chose to forefront the hair comparison. She made a whole routine out of it with Jimmy Fallon...
She says (slightly garbling what must have been a prepared line): "Have you ever been able to let him touch — let you touch his hair?" And then: "Have you ever really touched it?" When Jimmy says no, she says: "You wanna touch mine?" Jimmy grabs a hank and gives it a sturdy pull. The gesture says: This is not a wig. And he shouts: "It's real! It's real!" He waves his hands about joyously and — with the band playing celebratory music – adds: "And it's got wave and it's fantastic, you guys, and it smells great!" He's laughing heartily and she's laughing heartily.
... and that led Jimmy Fallon — when Trump later appeared on his show — to grab Trump's hair the same way he'd grabbed Hillary's. And that normalized Trump's ultra-weird hair.

But back to Amy Klobuchar. That comb is the most famous thing about her, and she can't lose it. She's got to find a way to work with it. And the Democrats need a way to defeat the President with the absurd hair. Well, Amy's got the comb. If rock breaks scissors, and scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock, then surely, comb conquers hair.

71 comments:

Josephbleau said...

I would never vote for someone who told jokes that make me sick to my stomach.

mccullough said...

Klobuchar is trying too hard. She probably sat with her campaign team berating them for four hours on a strategy. And then a few of them come up with this idea: self deprecating humor. Then another two hours to come up with this line about scalp oil and dandruff.

And the joke would have been better with just the dandruff.

Hilary’s campaign had a rapid-response team that took days to do stuff.

Trump has Trump, And he works in minutes.

And Trump is funny and works off the cuff.

If Klobuchar is going to out-weird Trump that will be an interesting strategy.

cf said...

Ugh. sorry, Amy, mixing Hair and Food creates an immediate, visceral, reflexive disgust.

the detail is quite a well-chosen kill-shot from one of her aides. sorry, amy, can't see you "Winning!"

rhhardin said...

Scott Adams speculated it was a new plastic-wrapped comb that the airlines supply to first class passengers as part of a travel kit.

Quaestor said...

If rock breaks scissors, and scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock, then surely, comb conquers hair.

Comb cleaning beats comb.

Tommy Duncan said...

So your comb makes you a leader with good ideas and coherent plans? A good comb can move you from the back bench in the Senate to the White House? A properly cleaned comb makes you the kind friend of the working class?

Who knew?

Carol said...

Good Hair Privilege. Lose your hair and you're out of the running.

You'd think bald guys would make a stink about that.

rhhardin said...

A site that seems to be gone offered winning rock paper scissors strategies, my favorite being the avalanche, three rocks in a row.

Tommy Duncan said...

Dandruff, lice and lettuce. Lunch is served.

The toast on the side is Klobuchar.

Birkel said...

Lizard. Spock.

Big Bang Theory.

https://www.amazon.com/Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock-T-shirt/dp/B004D0F2WE/ref=asc_df_B004D0F2WE/?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=%7Bcreative%7D&hvpos=%7Badposition%7D&hvnetw=o&hvrand=%7Brandom%7D&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=%7Bdevicemodel%7D&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4583451664596387&psc=1

Laslo Spatula said...

Trump's hair is a magnificent golden eagle, that sometimes looks orange in photographs.

I am Laslo.

rhhardin said...

The magic e in come doesn't make the vowel say its own name.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Did everyone enjoy Hillary Clinton's "kiss her ring" tour last week? All the D- candidates were required to kiss HER-> ass.

If SHE'S-> going to relinquish power, you better fall in line and put on the "I like Hillary and the Clintons, they are very powerful" show.. Or it's the Mueller-Seth Rich treatment for you.

dustbunny said...

Amy is too earnest to tell this kind of joke. She’s awkward when she needs to wing it. Trump will just flick her away.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Gross. Just when we STOPPED thinking about eating a salad seasoned with dandruff, purse lint, hair, and scalp oil she has to bring it back up and MAKE us think about it some more. UUUURRRK

I doubt the idea that it was a pre wrapped comb. Why would you make someone clean it afterwards. Just throw it away if it was a cheap freebie.

What would any sane person do in her position. The flight was short. She didn't have a fork for a salad.

She wasn't getting anything else to eat at all? Eat something else bitch. Have a mint. Were her staff all with forks and she the only one who was "forkless"? Was she starving to death and couldn't wait a minute or two? Hasn't she ever heard of fingers?

Chopsticks. Always carry a set of pre-wrapped chopsticks in your purse,briefcase or laptop bag. They are handy for all sorts of purposes. Even eating a salad.

(I'm not joking. I always have a set up wooden chopsticks in my purse and laptop bag. I also still carry a fold up knife in those locations too. I don't fly anymore so that isn't an issue. Leatherman multi tool and a substantial knife n the car)

bleh said...

Romney lost in 2012. Is it racist to think he had the better hair?

Bob Boyd said...

She should eat a taco salad with her comb on Cinco de Mayo.

William said...

I'd go with something like having a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair is more embarrassing than having it stuck in your teeth. Scalp oil and dandruff is kind of icky. It's hard to strike just the right note whimsy and denial when dealing with such charges.......Male privilege: It's very difficult to for bald haired woman to be out and proud about her baldness.

Bob Boyd said...

Klobuchar place setting:
The salad comb and the full size comb go on the left, the scissors and the brush go on the right.

Mark said...

Not a bad idea to make a joke about it. But talking about "scalp oil" only makes the original incident sound even more disgusting. So big fail on both ends.

William said...

Ironically, baldness in other areas of the anatomy is considered quite attractive......I'm not sure if I'm using ironically in the proper sense. , Ironically is one of the most misused words in the English language. That's extremely ironic.

Big Mike said...

... and that led Jimmy Fallon — when Trump later appeared on his show — to grab Trump's hair the same way he'd grabbed Hillary's. And that normalized Trump's ultra-weird hair.

Lots of people have remarked on Hillary Clinton’s political tin ear. As far as I am concerned Senator Klobuchar, being on a short flight (which is why, in the story, they didn’t have plastic utensils on board) could have waited until they landed. Eating salad with her comb was merely to humiliate the aide, and paints her as an unlikeable bitch.

@Althouse, you claim to want someone “normal”. Is it normal for a woman to humiliate he people around her? Do you mean to tell me I am one of the very few men in this country who married a woman that is not a bitch to the males around her?

Perhaps Obama can pop up and assure us that Klobuchar is “likeable enough.”

Big Mike said...

@DBQ, my wife has a plastic-wrapped plastic fork in her purse.

Bob Boyd said...

"baldness in other areas of the anatomy is considered quite attractive."

Funny you mention this, because I knew a girl who's shaved pussy looked remarkably like Dwight Eisenhower. It wasn't just me. Everybody said so. You'd do a double take if you saw it.

Big Mike said...

Come to think of it my wife would not give a speech about the dangers of global warming outdoors in a raging blizzard.

Ralph L said...

Ford was pretty darn thin on top.

rehajm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rehajm said...

I still couldn't pick her out of the Democrat lineup.

Sebastian said...

"@Althouse, you claim to want someone “normal”."

Emphasis on claim. You know, like, Barry was "pragmatic." Etc. etc.

Anyway, we are blessed with our opponents: Amy may help the Althouses rationalize their vote for the "serious" candidate, never mind what she actually proposes to do, but a stiff square will have some trouble with Trump.

Drago said...

Klobuchar is very much for the moderate approaches of killing babies born alive and confiscating all lawfully owned privately held guns.

Its that practical midwest upbringing of hers that will enable her to effectively implement socialism in the US the way all the previous global socialists/communists were unable to do.

Plus she has shown the capability to learn jokes penned by her staff which is always a treasured skill appreciated by the public as you gut the Bill Of Rights.

So, all in all, she'll be swell.

Ken B said...

Apart from Althouse’s prior commitment to Klobuchar's alleged moderate boringness, I see no evidence at all she is moderate, boring. She endorsed the Green New Deal, and did so before reading it.
So, what, other than an inability to admit error perhaps, leads AA to think her moderate and boring?

Ralph L said...

Here's the Daily Mail's take on her appearance at the Gridiron. She made a silly jibe at Robert Kraft.

Bay Area Guy said...

Amy K takes votes away from Kamala Harris.

So, with regret, we gotta refrain from comb/salad, combover, you-betcha! jokes.

Go Amy!

IgnatzEsq said...

I don't know if I should like Klobuchar because she makes her indolent little shits do actual work, including both manual labor like cleaning and intellectual labor like using proper grammar, or dislike her because she seems to hire incompetent backstabbing morons.

William said...

I wonder if Amy has ever had a Brazilian wax. I think yes, but, what with the demands on her time nowadays, probably not currently. Kamala Harris definitely. She might even have a discreet tattoo somewhere. I doubt Elizabeth Warren has ever gone for one. Native American women are not afflicted with excessive pubic hair. KEG probably. i don't see her going for a tattoo though. Maybe a piercing. That would be edgy and might appeal to the AOC voters. She should try a nose piercing,

Gunner said...

Amy is clearly counting on fans of Garbage Pail Kids stickers to sweep her to victory.

Aunty Trump said...

Dale Carnegie could explain why you shouldn't associate yourself with disgusting images.

Big Mike said...

I don't know if I should like Klobuchar because she makes her indolent little shits do actual work ... or dislike her because she seems to hire incompetent backstabbing morons.

@Ignatz, consider the possibility that competent people won't work for her -- or won't work for her for long -- because she herself is an incompetent backstabbing moron.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“I would never vote for someone who told jokes that make me sick to my stomach.”

I would never vote for someone who mocked a disabled reporter.

dreams said...

"then surely, comb conquers hair."

Not Trump's hair, he always wins, big.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Come to think of it my wife would not give a speech about the dangers of global warming outdoors in a raging blizzard.”

She married you, makes me wonder about her.

Earnest Prole said...

Long hair is a young man's style that makes an older man look like an unattractive woman!

I always think “like an older lesbian,” but you nailed it.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“...or dislike her because she seems to hire incompetent backstabbing morons.”

Trump’s Whitehouse, the leakiest in all history. “Hiring morons”... how many of the people Trump hired have been indicted now?

Ann Althouse said...

"Scott Adams speculated it was a new plastic-wrapped comb that the airlines supply to first class passengers as part of a travel kit."

If she's getting first-class service on a plane, she'd be able to get a fork. Or does Scott think she got a kit on a DIFFERENT flight and now she's on a private plane and the kit is in her bag....

Whatever.

Has anyone ever gotten a comb as a gift on an airline? I doubt it.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

When push comes to shove during debates the comb/salad incident will mean next to nothing. And if Trump pushes it during the campaign, it will be seen as him being desperate. Trump won’t fare well in a debate with almost any of the Democratic candidates. Trump lost white suburban women who voted Democratic in 2018 as backlash to Trumpism. In 2020 it will be even worse for Trump, if he makes it to 2020.

Aunty Trump said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill Peschel said...

My wife and I were watching "Destination Wedding" last night (47% on Rotten Tomatoes but don't listen to those idiots; it's a sharp, witty rom-com), and Keanu Reeves' long hair didn't make him look like a lesbian at all.

Especially when he was banging Winona Ryder in a vineyard field.

It all depends on how you wear it.

Bob Boyd said...

Klobuchar is like a sickening, repulsive MacGyver.

Birkel said...

Trump won't have to push anything about Klobuchar in the general.
She doesn't have a chance to win.
Zero point zero.

dreams said...

"Trump’s Whitehouse, the leakiest in all history. “Hiring morons”... how many of the people Trump hired have been indicted now?"

Because they're after Trump and as to the leakers and traitors Victor Davis explains that too, here...

When Trump entered office, he was immediately faced with a self-created contradiction. He had won the key midwestern and purple swing states on promises of ‘draining the swamp.’ That refrain was taken by his base to mean both dismantling the permanent deep state and staffing his administration with unorthodox appointments that would lessen the opportunities for corruption.

Yet Trump needed some tried old hands who knew the deep state and yet were not part of it. But how many such loyal fellow iconoclasts were there?"

https://spectator.us/victor-davis-hanson-trump-paradox/

R.J. Chatt said...

I wasn't the only one to wonder, "How do you eat a salad with a comb?" The American Mirror Investigates So gross I can't imagine anyone not losing their appetite. Making a joke about it, even more disgusting.

Also I'm probably not the only one wondering what other extremely repulsive things does Amy do? That's the death pill. Compared to eating with a hair comb, Trump's comb over and his fast food habits don't seem weird at all. Winning!

Bob Boyd said...

MacKlover

Rusty said...

Josephbleu @ 8:20
Especially at a subordinates expense. Not a leader. Not leadership material.

rhhardin said...

Destination Wedding was a disappointment. I like the antagonistic opposites finding they fit, but the plot had no accounting for finding they fit, which ought to be the point.

cubanbob said...

Amy K has no charisma, no new and good ideas, doesn't have much of a record and has a last name that sounds awful, like phlegm, and isn't a minority. The problem for the Democrats is the only candidates they have that have energy and excitement are the Looney Tunes neo Communists Leftists.

JAORE said...

"If rock breaks scissors, and scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock, then surely, comb conquers hair."

But hair ruins salad.

dreams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rhhardin said...

I only travelled first class once but that was back in the 60s when they gave you only food. Company paid. No travel kit.

rcocean said...

Best Hair - Lets look back:

LBJ vs. Goldwater - two bad hairdos - don't know who was "best"
Nixon vs. Humphrey - The Hump was bald, so Nixon wins by default
Nixon Vs. McGovern - I'd call that a tie.
Ford vs. Carter - Ford bald & loses.
Reagan vs Carter - I'd call that a tie.
Clinton vs. Dole/Bush - Billy Bob wins both.
bush vs. Gore - I'd call that a tie.
Romney vs Obama - Mitt is a loser - but with great hair.

BUMBLE BEE said...

This Inga person has Trump DOWN!

Yancey Ward said...

A decent effort by Klobuchar, but the problem is that her enemies aren't Republicans- they are the media that have already selected Kamala Harris as their candidate of choice.

Also, given how wooden she is, I wondered how long it took her staff to come up with that joke? It definitely came across as a prepared remark.

walter said...

Althouse has a lot of aesthetic rules for men.

traditionalguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
traditionalguy said...

The winner of Best Hair Style is Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown. He choses the freshly fucked look. He must think it appeals subconsciously to the women voters. It must take a lot of style time to get it to do that.

narciso said...

it's amateur hour all the way


https://dailycaller.com/2019/03/02/cnn-analyst-trump-hitler-joe-biden/

Henry said...

Comb arranges hair.
Hair covers dome.
Dome negates Comb.

Big Mike said...

She married you, makes me wonder about her.

In the spirit is self-deprecating humor, I wonder that myself sometimes. She is, hands down, one of the most brilliant women I have ever even been introduced to, and yet she married me. I am one lucky SOB.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"...and YOU want to be our Latex Salesman!/!"

Saint Croix said...

And in politics, it does seem that the candidate with the best hair wins.

LOL. Trump has horrible hair. He got divorced from his first wife because she laughed at him after he came home from her hairdresser. I mean, it's horrible hair. And some candidates with fine, fine hair have been bounced from their presidential runs. If you doubt this, may I give you, My Little Pony.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

John Edwards was the Silky Pony.

His narrative was busted, so the democratics disappeared him.

Scott said...

Stick a comb in her, she done...