February 22, 2019

"Senator Amy Klobuchar was hungry, forkless and losing patience.... She pulled a comb from her bag and began eating the salad with it.... Then she handed the comb to her staff member with a directive: Clean it."

She = Amy Klobuchar, as described, based on 4 witnesses, in "How Amy Klobuchar Treats Her Staff" (NYT).

Grossest use of a comb since Paul Wolfowitz....

128 comments:

mccullough said...

Hopefully the staffer took the comb to the bathroom, pissed on it, dried it off, and gave it back to Angry Amy.

mccullough said...

The guy in the Wolfowitz video who used his hand to brush Wolfowitz hair should date Klobuchar.

Kevin said...

It's going to be hilarious watching the sane, centrist, boring candidate be exposed as the real psycho in the race.

By the time November 2020 rolls around, Trump might be the only normal person left.

Kevin said...

It's so sexist watching a strong, intelligent, independent woman be labeled a comb-using salad eater by those who know her best.

Why a man would be applauded for his ingenuity and ability to keep the salad course moving forward.

tcrosse said...

So Amy has passed her last forkable day.

buwaya said...

Everyone should carry a largish knife. I do.

Indeed, an excellent replacement for the incredibly annoying airport searching of bags and persons, would be to issue each passenger a nice functional and cheap knife for the flight. A dollar value at most, a huge savings over the security theater. If all are armed, no-one need be fearful of a knife or gun-armed terrorist at airplane-close quarters.

rhhardin said...

Tines are tines.

buwaya said...

A reasonably broad knife is a decent substitute for most eating utensils.
I know this from many "non-standard" situations.

And eating with your fingers is an ancient and honorable option.

Lucid-Ideas said...

She should've used her hands like that deranged doctor in "Hostel" did. Plus would've upped her environmental street-cred.

Limited blogger said...

Is this being pushed as a hit piece by the Democrat machine?

Bay Area Guy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ambrose said...

Should have the "NYT For Harris Tag"

Bay Area Guy said...

The NYT will turn (has turned?) on Amy pretty quick -- she's just siphoning off chick votes that should go to Kamala. Ditto Senator Paleface Warren.

Can't wait for the NYT to flood the zone with articles decrying the "dangers of socialism" to ding up Bernie, too.

tcrosse said...

Is this being pushed as a hit piece by the Democrat machine?

Does Lawrence Welk have an accent?

policraticus said...

What could have been on her hands that made a comb a better alternative???

Also, how hungry could she have been that she wasn’t willing to wait for a utensil?

Aunty Trump said...

Rubio takes a sip of water and is subject to non stop mockery.

But don’t worry, you can believe everything the press and late nite TV tell you and base your vote for the leadership of the most powerful nation in the world on what they say.

Aunty Trump said...

This is Fortnight and they are trying to mow down Kamala’s opponents. It worked so well for Hillary when they wiped out the opposition before the voters could even get a say.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Oh, more mean Amy stories.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

the lengths these politicians go to
to show they're "just like one of us"

RK said...

Comb? Gross. What does she think fingers are for?

Earnest Prole said...

Hell hath no fury like a female subordinate scorned by her female superior.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

From Emily Post:

(b) Two Combs: The combs are placed to the left of the plate. The dinner comb, the larger of the two combs, is used for the main course; the smaller comb is used for a salad or an appetizer.

Big Mike said...

Time to remember: there are no ass kickers without ass kissers. Amy's staff must be perfectly at home with this conduct, or they'd have quit long ago.

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

and they keep telling us Trump is nuts.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

stick a comb in her-- she's done

buwaya said...

"She should've used her hands like that deranged doctor in "Hostel" did."

Or like most people often still do in my (one of two) native countries.

Utensils were for the Chinese or the colonizers. The natives ate their rice with their hands.

Drago said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

Amy: "Clean it!!"
Staff member to Amy: "Go Fork yourself!"

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

Is she sort of moderate? Is that why the long knives are out.

The antifa mob seem to have control.

Drago said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Drago said...

Inga is outraged by this story.

She only wants to hear about diet cokes at dinner and number of ice cream scoops for desert.

You know: "real journalism"

MadisonMan said...

So Klobuchar is a good problem-solver.

Noted.

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

I'm suspicious

Remember - Hillary is going to torpedo everyone. or /let chief white face torpedo herself.

traditionalguy said...

OK. She is a good delegater. Now she needs to learn to tweet so she reaches voters directly.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

wait--No More Tangles Salad Dressing ??

Drago said...

Its also critical that we understand how Trump feeds Koi fish.

Unfortunately, Trump did not "cooperate" with the leftist/LLR "journalists" since he simply copied Abe.

The good news? The left "journalists" "helpfully" edited the video to create another hoax/Fake News story!

But Amy Klobuchar? Hands off h8trs!!!!

FullMoon said...

Uh, yeah, should have cleaned the comb before she started eating with it

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"Hairy Styles Beauty Salon, how can we help you?"
Table for 4, please?

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Inga is outraged by this story.

She only wants to hear about diet cokes at dinner and number of ice cream scoops for desert.”

Really? My favorite is still Elizabeth Warren, but if she too uses her comb to eat salad, it’s over, I’ll vote for Trump.

Charlie Currie said...

You folks are hilarious. But, that's not funny, so cut it out.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

Amy: "Excuse me, Miss! There's a hair in my salad"
Server:

Drago said...

Inga: "Really? My favorite is still Elizabeth Warren, but if she too uses her comb to eat salad, it’s over, I’ll vote for Trump."

We will call that the "Comb (it's) Over" Standard.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

In fairness, it's not as bad as the time she ate the soup with a curling iron

Yancey Ward said...

At least she didn't use her vibrator.

gilbar said...

Kevin said...
By the time November 2020 rolls around, Trump might be the only normal person left.


By the time February 2019 rolls around, Trump will be the only normal person left.
fixed it for ya!

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

all politics aside, there's nothing like a well-coiffed salad

Phidippus said...

"Grossest use of a comb since Paul Wolfowitz...."

Wait'll you hear what she does with it privately.

The Vault Dweller said...

Hmm... Are all these stories just disgruntled former staffers, who are angry at the former crappy boss? Or is this the establishment trying to knock her out early for a preferred candidate. With four women in the race it is hard for any woman to capitalize on that fact. If I had to guess Klobachar getting out would best help Kamala Harris. Since Klobachar doesn't seem as far left as say Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders. Kamala similarly doesn't appear as far left as them. If Kamala can check the box of 'most electable in a general' as well as being a woman, and a woman of color, that might be enough to get her way out in front of a crowded field. Especially since someone like Joe Biden hasn't got in yet.

Bay Area Guy said...

I know it's counter-intuitive, and I know it may take heroic self-discipline. But:

1. If the NYT and WAPost are trying to clear the Dem field for Kamala, by stinging investigative hit pieces on Amy's combing/eating techniques, and Elizabeth Warren's Native American status in Texas State Bar applications, then;

2. We must start defending all these Dem knuckleheads, er, candidates, from these virulent attacks -- save and except for Kamala Harris.

Memo to Commentariat:

1. Hammer Kamala "BJ" Harris

2. Celebrate and promote all other Dem candidates, even Bernie.

Temporarily, we are ALL SOCIALISTS NOW!

Yancey Ward said...

Vault Dweller,

Yes- this is the media trying to clear the field so that there is only one female candidate come Iowa Caucus time. Warren is getting beat up by the same media and for the same basic reason. I predict that the men in the race will get treated well by the media so that there are 4 or 5 of them at the starting gate in Iowa- then the attacks on them will begin in a sequential order.

Yancey Ward said...

Also, this serves Hillary Clinton's objectives, too. Clear the field of most of the female candidates, and suddenly Hillary! comes to life to save the gender, while also delivering the knockout blow to Harris.

Humperdink said...

Should the unexpected happen and she wins the White House, she will be thrilled with silverware. Of course, it's not the historical flatware. Bill and Hillary made off with those.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...

This doesn't sound real to me. I have a difficult time imagining anybody eating with a comb. I gross out if there is a hair on the edge of the plate.

The Vault Dweller said...

Kamala, "Bong hits for me, jail-time for thee," Harris. Is still going to have a way harder time in the democrat field than Hillary did. Hillary stood out and apart from the rest of the field no question. Bernie was there but was still seen as a kind of out there, insurgent candidate. Who else was there? Captain Grendade toss? There is no way someone like that could win the democrat nomination, not since the 90's. Then who else? Lincoln Chaffee? Kamala is much more in a crowded field of equals than Hillary was. And based on her performances so far she doesn't look that good of a nuts and bolts campaign politician, and she may not be as ruthless as Hillary was willing to be to win.

JohnAnnArbor said...

Someone on the campaign trail should give here one of those compact sets of utensils that campers have.

That would be a fun troll situation to watch.

Eric said...

The original headline was "Back Off Midwestern Bitch!"

JaimeRoberto said...

Was this the kind of comb that black guys used to keep stuck in their afros, or is this the kind of comb that I used to keep in my back pocket as was the style at the time? I'm not even sure how the latter would work.

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

Exactly - I smell Hillary.

Jim at said...

Oh, more mean Amy stories.

Take it up with your fellow leftists. They're the ones 'leaking' them.

RK said...

This doesn't sound real to me.

Neither does the story that she took a crap behind a tree along Pennsylvania Ave and then demanded a male aide's shirt so she could wipe her ass. But, who knows, it could be true.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"Amy, stop playing the kazoo at the dinner table."--Edna T. Klobutcher

Bay Area Guy said...

Althouse should take a poll:

What's the best nickname for Kamala Harris?

a. Kamala "Bong Hit" Harris
b. Kamala "BJ" Harris

I mean, if she's gonna get all fussy about Brett Kavanaugh's beer drinking and womanizing in high school, why can't we ask her how many bong hits it took to muster up the courage to blow Willie Brown's 60-year old member in law school?

Fair is fair.

I am not Laslo.

BleachBit-and-Hammers said...

c. KKKamala (I think tcRosse came up with it)

Michael K said...

Yes- this is the media trying to clear the field so that there is only one female candidate come Iowa Caucus time.

Yup.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

@Bay Area
"Dong-Bong Wakanda" Harris

anti-de Sitter space said...

"c. KKKamala (I think tcRosse came up with it)"

Probably would rather not have the attribution/accusation.

madAsHell said...

The Tines they are A-Changing.

rcocean said...

The trump nickname: Hair-comb Amy or Klob the slob.

William said...

I didn't read the article, but wouldn't a true investigative reporter have dug deeper and discovered who cleaned the comb prior to the meal? Or does Amy eat with a dirty comb? So many unanswered questions.......I find it more damaging that Amy uses a dirty comb as an eating utensil than that she makes use of her assistant to clean a comb. During the course of my working life, I performed many tasks far more demeaning than cleaning a comb. I'd be embarrassed to tell you all the ridiculous things Jennifer Lawrence asked me to do when I worked as her personal masseur during the Hunger Games filming.

rcocean said...

Good thing she wasn't served soup.

narciso said...

did she embed the comb in the aides head, after she was done:


https://www.fredericksburg.com/news/crime_courts/two-isis-related-convictions-against-former-d-c-metro-police/article_9c408c7a-36b4-11e9-ae77-fbb9c839c902.html?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=user-share

narciso said...

Wolfowitz was going to put the warlords and oligarchs in their place, that's why they got rid of him, and replaced him with a pliable rubber stamp in Robert zoellick a former fannie mae lobbyist,

Kevin said...

My favorite is still Elizabeth Warren, but if she too uses her comb to eat salad, it’s over, I’ll vote for Trump.

That story would be a real hatchet job.

Fernandistein said...

anonymous stories

Why does the NYT hate Amy K-whatever?

chuck said...

> Why does the NYT hate Amy K-whatever?

Kamala is the chosen one.

tcrosse said...

Late one night I was walking down a street in Chicago, minding my own businss, when Amy Klobuchar attacked me, put a clothesline around my neck, and poured bleach on little old impeccable me.

Lucien said...

The impulse control lives quietly in Senator Klobuchar.

@Buwaya: Your solution is a good one, that has been obvious for 17+ years. The only things we really need to screen for are guns, explosives, and poison gas. Otherwise, just keep the cockpit door locked.

stevew said...

"I find it more damaging that Amy uses a dirty comb as an eating utensil than that she makes use of her assistant to clean a comb."

Watching the news together that was my wife's first reaction.

The NYT sure does dislike Senator Klobuchar. They must see her as the most legitimate threat to their chosen one.

Tommy Duncan said...

Republican Governors and Senators have the advantage of extreme vetting in order to reach their office. The Democrat/Media machine ensures that every rock in their past has been turned over.

The Democrats are vetted under the David Burge (Iowahawk) rule: "Journalism is about covering important stories. With a pillow, until they stop moving."

Unfortunately for the Democrats their light vetting leaves room for surprises.

Mark said...

Wait. She did this on an airplane? It was too much trouble to simply hit the call button and ask the stewardess for a fork?

Henry said...

From the article ... unhelpful comparisons:

The senator’s defenders say her conduct must be viewed in the larger context of women in Washington, where male leaders with legendary tempers and famously exacting standards, like former President Bill Clinton, have long subsisted atop the political food chain.

Weird article. All the news facts are damning. All the news analysis is excuses.

It really boils down to a whole lot of "she's an awful person but she's successful, so there!"

Many staff members did warmly recall the misery-loves-company camaraderie that built among aggrieved aides.

Good God.

Mr. Majestyk said...

I eagerly await the SNL cold open mocking Angry Amy over this.

Henry said...

The comb thing seems weird, but banal. If you send an aid to get you food, is it really out-of-line to ask them to clean your eating utensil when they forget the fork? I see some comments at The Times about how particularly awful and gross that episode is and frankly, I don't get it. I wouldn't be bothered by cleaning a salad comb. Compared to emotional abuse that would be nothing.

Has no one snaked a drain? Changed a diaper? Tended a sick person? Walked a dog? Turned over a compost heap? Gutted a fish?

Tommy Duncan said...

I think both Bill and Hillary are incented to clear the field and drive toward a Clinton/Harris ticket. Hillary gets the White House, while Kamala is VP and Kamala gets Willy again.

Henry said...

I think I'd score a point in favor of a comb-eater. That's the can-do spirit.

It's like that baseball player that talked about pissing on his hands because he thought it would toughen them up (it doesn't). Own your weirdness! I like that in a person.

But don't piss on other people. That's a million points against.

Scott said...

Jim Klobuchar was a popular smarmy columnist for the Minneapolis Star. That name recognition elevated Amy Klobuchar to become Senator. She has no special qualifications. Her election was an act of entitlement. She is of the manner born. She knows it and she acts that way. She will be Senator until she dies. And Minnesotans will continue to believe that they are the smartest fucking people on the planet, don't ya know.

tcrosse said...

And Minnesotans will continue to believe that they are the smartest fucking people on the planet, don't ya know.

Uff da!

Humperdink said...

Am I reading this correctly? She waited until after she ate to have the comb cleaned?

anti-de Sitter space said...

Scott,

Thanks for the background.

Looking at her, I'd always assumed she became famous and achieved political success because she was a so-called pro wrestler.


Hagar said...

I think it likely that the comb was one of those things with a sharp pointed handle and she used that to spear what she wanted from the salad.
The comb end would not only be gross, but also awkward to use, and I doubt it.
Calm down, people.

tcrosse said...

I think it likely that the comb was one of those things with a sharp pointed handle and she used that to spear what she wanted from the salad.

That's a rat-tail comb, which might send Althouse to her paint box.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

@Hagar
a RAT TAIL comb? FFS?

rcocean said...

Elizabeth Warren would've used her Tomahawk.

rcocean said...

Bernie doesn't have a comb. He would've gone hungry.

rcocean said...

Trump would've ordered a big Mac.

Michael Fitzgerald said...

I don't believe Klobuchar carries a comb in her purse any more than I believe Hillary carries hot sauce in hers.

gilbar said...

Mark said...
She did this on an airplane? It was too much trouble to simply hit the call button and ask the stewardess for a fork?

the crew did not have any forks on such a short flight.
So; It was too much trouble to simply wait until they got to the ground (15 minutes?) later?

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“I don't believe Klobuchar carries a comb in her purse any more than I believe Hillary carries hot sauce in hers.”

Huh? Do you know any women at all? What do you think women carry in their purses?

Michael Fitzgerald said...

Inga...Allie Oop@7:32PM "What do you think women carry in their purses?"
Their husband's testicles.

Leora said...

I kind of assumed the comb was not one in frequent use and she probably knew it was clean. If htere was dressing on the salad you wouldn't want to use your fingers. However I'm puzzled as to what kind of flight it was that didn't have forks available - a military flight maybe? If I asked my assistant to get me a salad to eat on the plane, I'd probably be annoyed if they didn't include a fork. I might say something harsh.

Big Mike said...

What do you think women carry in their purses?

My wife carries a spare plastic fork wrapped in plastic, also one of those hand cleaners you get when you order barbecue ribs. She used to
Have a fork and a plastic knife but an overzealous TSA agent got shitty about it.

cronus titan said...

Meh. The leg shaving story was better. SInce Klobuchar is a garden variety jerk there will be more stories. Many more. She will not shake this. It will not kill her candidacy but it damages it (unless she actually hit someone with something during one of these petty tirades). The NYT article on this said tht staffer kept he emails and documented stories in case she tried to injure reputations and careers to spite them one last time. Means people were keeping book on her. Over 20 years, there will be great stories.

Inga...Allie Oop said...

“Their husband's testicles.”

Oh so sorry Michael, that must’ve been painful.

The Vault Dweller said...

The more I think about the story and the more I watch Wolfowitz mouth his comb, the more I think it isn't as gross as I initially thought. It is still on the eew side, but on a scale of 1 to 10 I'll put it at a 2.5, when previously I had it at about a 4. Now if she ate her salad with someone else's comb, then I would upgrade it to about a 5.5

Saint Croix said...

I like "Klob the Slob." That's awesome.

Henry said...

Klob the Slob vs. Dainty Don. It's the Odd Couple.

Henry said...

What do you think women carry in their purses?

That would be an awesome cafe question.

And what do men have in their pocketses?

Known Unknown said...

If she gets a TrumpName it will be Angry Amy.

Also, Inga made me laugh.

Laslo Spatula said...

On the plus side -- depending on previous comb usage -- she might've gotten free crab with her salad.

Bonus.

I am Laslo.

buwaya said...

On the Althouse Amazon Portal -
Look for
"Titanium Spork" - there are many examples

Something that probably wont get past the TSA but cool in another way -
the "Tactical Spork"

Any personal assistant to a public figure needs to plan ahead for eventualities.

Drago said...

Inga: "Do you know any women at all? What do you think women carry in their purses?"

In my experience they carry every known device ever conceived by human beings and if you reach too far down into the purse you will be pulled in by the force of the Black Hole that hides any specific item you might actually be looking for.

This Black Hole is rendered inoperative the moment the woman comes into effective range of the purse, which is why she is always able to instantly locate the item the male just spent 27 minutes digging through the purse to find, unsuccessfully.

This Theory stands on a much more solid scientific footing than AGW.

Danno said...

Scott said..."And Minnesotans will continue to believe that they are the smartest fucking people on the planet, don't ya know."

I too will second that motion. Though you forgot the part where all of their children are above average.

Frankly it has been good to be out of Minnesota for a couple of months this winter and I don't miss the Minnesota Nice (passive-aggressive) crap at all. The ability to watch Minnesota get clobbered by snow time and again without being in it has felt fantastic.

Danno said...

I see Fox News has a blurb on Klob with a reference to the NYT article.

Joanne Jacobs said...

Years ago, when my husband and I were visiting New York City, we bought cereal and milk so that we could save the cost of a hotel breakfast. The next morning, I poured the milk on the cereal, then discovered we had no spoon. A shoe horn, wrapped in plastic, worked quite well. Since then, he carries a baggie of plastic ware on his travels. Who ever uses a fork or spoon washes it.

Big Mike said...

Originally I was ready to call bullshit because what restaurant — or even a greasy spoon diner — doesn’t put out the eating utensils first, before taking orders? The article in the Times was behind s paywall, and I am not interested in giving that scandal-rag a nickel. But by waiting, eventually Fox and CNN and Slate discussed the article. A couple thoughts:

Apparently the salad was pre-made and picked up from a vendor on an airport concourse prior to boarding. The hapless staffer either forgot to grab utensils or left them behind in the boarding area.

In the air they asked the flight attendants for utensils, but they couldn’t help because the flight was too short to be fitted for food service. Contemplate this. The flight was short and Klobuchar nevertheless couldn’t wait. A person who has gone days without food might be that hungry, but otherwise the more likely explanation is that she wanted to humiliate the staffer, and certainly did.

The President of the United States cannot function without capable staff, and this episode — if true — paints her as pretty incapable of managing her staff. Staff will make mistakes, and some mistakes will be embarrassing to the President. A staffer who makes too many has to go, but, as a former manager, a simple “please learn from this and not let it happen again” will work wonders with good people.

And my last thought is that we have replaced the fabled “smoke filled room” full of political bosses from the 1920 GOP nomination with a tiny number of billionaires who own newspapers and other media outlets. Warren Harding was one of the worst presidents in history; will the choice of the Democrat cabal of billionaires be worse?

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Oh bullshit. Give me a break. That never happened, for the love of God. Am I the only skeptical person left on Planet Earth?

gadfly said...

So Minnesootans don't eat with their fingers?

Please! Combs have chemical-tasting hair spray, foul smelling human oils and sweat, a little grease not designed for salads, and not-for-consumption germs.

Fingers aren't far behind but the airplane probably has some hand wipes laying around.

narciso said...

Yes it sounds implausible Get a bag of chips you dont need utensils for.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Oh sorry. I guess it's just green-eyed and myself. :)

Yancey Ward said...

stevew wrote:

"The NYT sure does dislike Senator Klobuchar. They must see her as the most legitimate threat to their chosen one."

Geography explains it. The first caucus is Iowa, and a senator from Minnesota, the state that forms Iowa's northern border and shares a similar population and culture will give Klobuchar a good chance at finishing at least 2nd in the caucus. This would come at the expense of every other female in the field. Someone like Harris would run the risk of finishing 3rd or worse in Iowa, and then there is NH to follow where Harris doesn't have a natural base either. The NYTimes definitely wants Klobuchar gone before Iowa, as does Harris.

Ralph L said...

visiting New York City, we bought cereal and milk so that we could save the cost of a hotel breakfast.
We went to the World's Fair when I was 4. About the only thing I remember clearly is eating cereal & milk out of a minibox in the hotel. That and Mom's cousin from Forest Hills telling me to take a swizzle stick out of my ear.

Deep Runner said...

To the Queenmakers, Amy Klobuchar's biggest sin is Not Being Kamala, previous friend of Mayor Brown's willie.

OK, that was just too easy...

jaydub said...

Even the Saturday NYT crossword puzzle has a Kamala clue. They're all in.

Big Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Mike said...

@Misplaced Pants, are you calling the people who write for the Times liars? Well, you know, come to think of it ...

JAORE said...

I outlined the story to my wife. The look on her face, even with the possible rat-tail comb explanation, makes it clear Amy K won't be her choice.

todd galle said...

Joanne is correct, prepare people, think Boy Scouts. Years ago, when hiking and camping, I kept a spoon and fork tucked between my pairs of socks. I wore two pairs to diminish blistering. They were carried handle side down. I learned that from reading about soldiers in WWI who would carry their eating utensils tucked into their puttees. Now I always carry individually wrapped stuff in my coat pockets and/or carry bag. If you can carry a concealed weapon, you can carry a concealed spoon and fork, or if you're advanced, a spork. Every gentleman should already be carrying a knife. I used to always carry a peanut butter sandwich, but that habit has slipped. Of course, if one is a business type, a pair of pencils or pens should easily be pressed into service as chopsticks, which now that I think about it, would have been far better than a comb for eating a salad out of a bag. Although, my peanut butter sandwich would have alleviated all this sturm and drang.