January 9, 2019

"Christie Tate has been writing online about her family for more than a decade. Now, her daughter is old enough to notice."

"After receiving a laptop for Christmas, Tate wrote in a widely shared essay in the Washington Post last week, the fourth-grader quickly marched up to her mom and wondered, 'Why are all of these pictures of me on the Internet?' She asked if all the essays and photographs she had found by Googling could be taken down. 'I told her that was not possible,' Tate wrote. And furthermore, 'I’m not done exploring my motherhood in my writing.'... In her essay-length defense of her decision to keep writing about parenting—that is, about her daughter’s life—Tate attempts to give this kind of callousness a feminist gloss. She writes that her 'creative labor' as a mother is 'culturally devalued' and argues that 'promising not to write about her anymore would mean shutting down a vital part of myself,' which wouldn’t be good for her or her daughter.... [S]he compares not-blogging to a form of abuse: 'Amputating parts of my experience feels as abusive to our relationship as writing about her without any consideration for her feelings and privacy.'"

From "That Outrageous Mommy Blogger Who Refuses to Stop Writing About Her Kid Highlights a Key Parent-Child Generational Gap" (Slate).

54 comments:

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Talk to the hand, mommy.

Ron Nelson said...

It seems this is related to the challenge of abortion: How do you balance the interests of the mother and the child?

Sebastian said...

"attempts to give this kind of callousness a feminist gloss"

Hey, the kid should be grateful she wasn't aborted--another kind of callousness that tends to get a feminist gloss.

Barry Dauphin said...

She can write about her experience. It's called a diary and is private. No amputation necessary.

Big Mike said...

The daughter should sue.

EDH said...

The modern day stage/pageant mother, except now it's all about mommy being the star of the show?

Nonapod said...

Seems like textbook narcissism to me. She may not even be capable of true empathy toward her daughter, only mimicking it. Hopefully people won't reward her deranged behavior with views, but that still might not stop her from blogging.

GatorNavy said...

The intransigence of Christie Tate towards her daughters wishes is because of the fame and money. And no other reasons.

Mike Petrik said...

It is exactly like abortion, Ron. No child should ever have a mommy whose self-actualization has been compromised. Think of the children!

Amexpat said...

She should be able to write online without using her daughter's real name.

wild chicken said...

Genuine altruistic generosity toward a dauoghter by a mother is rare. I forgot who said that.

Anyway, toujours la competition!

Lucid-Ideas said...

Every time I hear stories like this I'm constantly reminded of what the street artist Banksy said several years ago,

"If the 20th century was about getting your 15 minutes of fame, the 21st is going to be about getting your 15 minutes of anonymity."

I feel really truly sorry for these kids. Not only do some of them submit themselves to this lifestyle curation, but some have parents that do it for them.

Mike said...

We are days away from progressives demanding moms get their children's consent before Instragramming their photos. And I might be sympathetic after seeing the disregard this woman has for her own child's feelings about living such an exposed life AND NO WAY TO DELETE IT.

Carol said...

My parent would have loved doing this. In fact, she did,in a way, typing out long both-sides-typed "letters," showing herself in the best light, of course. And leaving them about the house, so I could see how Mommy was suffering, since she dumped my father.

After the first few "posts" I stopped reading them.

zipity said...

*puking sounds*

Good grief. This woman embodies everything that is wrong with Liberalism/feminism.

Get a clue lady. Your child's life is NOT yours to exploit as you see fit.

And for what? Validation from strangers commenting on your blog?

Pathetic.

robother said...

Back to the Depression, part LIXIII. People renting out rooms to strangers nightly, becoming gypsy cabdrivers, putting even their smallest kids to work on the family (server) farm. But as long as its done with an app, its modern and cool! Empowering, even.

gspencer said...

A bit "me-centric"

Okay, a lot "me-centric"

Henry said...

Obviously the daughter needs her own blog.

Kevin said...

If this child wanted to go on puberty blocking drugs and get in the queue to have her genitals irreparably surgically mutilated to simulate a man's, then the left would say that it was criminally abusive not to do what she wanted - literally criminally abusive, you could go to actual physical jail for not allowing it.

If this child wanted to start birth control and get an abortion when that birth control failed, you would be socially reamed for questioning this decision, and in fact as a parent probably wouldn't even be told about it, because that would be a HIPAA violation.

But when she requests her info to be taken down from the internet, that's just silly child stuff. You can poo-poo that at will.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Big Mike said...

The daughter should sue.

The daughter should blog. I bet there are a few things mommy does that mommy would not like the whole world to know about.

mccullough said...

Good for the daughter. Your life shouldn’t be your Mother’s Little Helper.

rhhardin said...

She'd be mad at her mother about something else anyway. It's that age.

I'm not a child anymore.

deadpool: "Look! I'm a teenage girl! I'd rather be anywhere than here. I'm all about long, sullen silences, followed by mean comments, followed by more silences. So what's it gonna be, huh? Long sullen silence, or mean comment? Go on.

negasonic: You've got me in a box here.

CJinPA said...

If you are not capable of writing about anything but yourself and those around you, you're not really a "writer," you're someone who keeps a diary and insists others read it.

LordSomber said...

'The father could not be reached for comment.'

tim maguire said...

"Of course mommy loves you. Just not as much as mommy loves herself."

RK said...

She writes that her 'creative labor' as a mother is 'culturally devalued'

I can only guess that the father is an anonymous sperm donor.

FIDO said...

I agree with Althouse. The girl now has sufficient determination to decide if she wants to be part of a Nationwide Conversation and she has clearly stated she doesn't want to be.

Many writers have written about their children, but generally they seem to wait till after they are adults, and frequently ask their kids if they mind inclusion.

That this is a narcissistic Feminist, who only cares about her own desires doesn't surprise me a bit. It seems the main key of Feminism is to destroy empathy in women, and it seems to extend to children as well.

I mean, how many Feminists have we seen who have been vile to their kids online and publicly and excuse it as service to their ideology?

These are the type of women who would watch the murder of their own kids for a 'righteous cause'.

chillblaine said...

I had a wonderful mother. Her name was Sarah. I haven't dreamed about her since she died ten years ago. But I did, just now. She was in my house fussing around, and when she saw me, she picked me up over her head and looked into my eyes with adoration. I'm a child of divorce. Does this woman have a man in the house? No? Oh well.

chillblaine said...

If I may, this video feels somewhat appropriate for this thread. I found, in my dad's things, all the letters I ever wrote to him. I did one video, and now I'm going to do another. Very personal, but perhaps you can relate, if you are a child of divorce. Letter From Matthew to his Father, 1982/

Infinite Monkeys said...

I look forward to reading her daughter's side of things posted in r/raisedbynarcissists in a few years.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"it's about having choices, Honey...MINE !!"

gilbar said...

Kevin said... If this child wanted to go on puberty blocking drugs.....

What Kevin said! (apparently,) we should Always listen to our children, sometimes

cfkane1701 said...

Happily, the first three pages are almost uniformly critical of the mother.

Fernandistein said...

"After receiving a laptop for Christmas, Tate wrote in a widely shared essay in the Washington Post last week, the fourth-grader quickly marched up to her mom and wondered, 'Why are all of these pictures of me on the Internet?'

This was somewhat interesting until I figured out that the widely shared ("essay-length"?) Washington Post essay wasn't written by a 4th-grader named Tate who received a laptop for Christmas.

Bay Area Guy said...

Mommy Deareset.....

SDaly said...

Some day, when the mother is out, the girl should take all of the mother's clothes, put them in a pile in the backyard and burn them. Mom will get lots of essays out of that!

Mountain Maven said...

If Slate thinks you're a mess,.

Rae said...

I suspect she's going to have a lot to write about in her kids teen years.

Rae said...

"To my great shame, I have realized my child is a Republican."

Ambrose said...

Despite Mom's years of blogging, she seems to have missed a fundamental lesson of parenthood. "Once you give birth, it's not about you anymore."

Yancey Ward said...

The mother could do all those things privately if she were being truthful in her explanations. The fulfillment she is seeking comes not from the act of writing about her life, but from the displaying of it to others. I feel the same way about Facebook shit- people put up all these photos and personal stories about themselves, their children, their friends, and their other relatives, but then have basically hundreds or even thousands of people approved to see it all. It is narcissism run rampant.

Thorley Winston said...

I feel sorry for the daughter that her mother has so little regard for her (apparently she’s done the same thing to people who were in her therapy group). She may not have much choice about having her mother in her life while she’s still a minor but hopefully when she’s an adult and should she someday have children of her own, she’ll keep them away from their grandmother.

Anthony said...

Just the term "mommy blogger" now appeals to me about as much as a cat litter.

n.n said...

The dark side of socialization.

aborted--another kind of callousness that tends to get a feminist gloss

Welcome to the world, baby. You're not wanted. Off with her head!

That said, you're living for two now, reconcile.

Bill Peschel said...

Coincidentally, James Lileks has been writing about his daughter for years. Unlike the mother, he was very circumspect. Until she was an adult, he rarely posted pictures (in fact, I can't remember he ever did).

He also did not write about her so much as his reaction to her. He mentioned that he frequently took videos of her, but never for public consumption. She would get them when she grew up and she could decide what to do with them.

Now she's graduated from high school and exploring the world, and he shares more about her with us, but I'm assuming only with her permission. And he never even hinted about any disreputable behavior from her. In short, nothing that would embarrass her.

(As a side note, the mommy blogger is lying. It is possible to delete stuff from the internet. You can even notify Google and they'll purge the cache from your website. Easy peasy.)

Big Mike said...

Mommy should remember — your kids choose your nursing home.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

In a decent society, somebody would slap this child abusing cunt upside the head and make her act right. Instead, she will continue to exploit her daughter for another few years until she is able to flee this narcissitic twunt.

What an awful mother.

walter said...

"But honey, you are Mommy's product."

Jim at said...

Coincidentally, James Lileks has been writing about his daughter for years. Unlike the mother, he was very circumspect. Until she was an adult, he rarely posted pictures (in fact, I can't remember he ever did).

Exactly. Lileks was the first person I thought about when reading this.

I remember when Gnat was born and now she's in Brazil. And the only thing we know about his wife is she's a lawyer and likes to play tennis. Never seen a picture of her.

He's one of the best out there. This 'mom' could take a lesson from him.

Earnest Prole said...

Just take away the little brat's computer.

Unknown said...

Yeah, like I've always wondered what Madonna's kids thought when they discovered Google.

And I bet from what we read here that here writings about her kid are...disturbing.

Martin said...

I feel sorry for her daughter, having a mother who cares so little for her.

DEEBEE said...

Poor woman she cas constrained even from exercising her penumbrous right.

Joe said...

"Because your mom is a narcissist."