November 19, 2018

"I was told [the sex recession] might be a consequence of the hookup culture, of crushing economic pressures, of surging anxiety rates, of psychological frailty..."

"... of widespread antidepressant use, of streaming television, of environmental estrogens leaked by plastics, of dropping testosterone levels, of digital porn, of the vibrator’s golden age, of dating apps, of option paralysis, of helicopter parents, of careerism, of smartphones, of the news cycle, of information overload generally, of sleep deprivation, of obesity. Name a modern blight, and someone, somewhere, is ready to blame it for messing with the modern libido.... [R]ates of childhood sexual abuse have decreased in recent decades, and abuse can lead to both precocious and promiscuous sexual behavior. And some people today may feel less pressured into sex they don’t want to have, thanks to changing gender mores and growing awareness of diverse sexual orientations, including asexuality. Maybe more people are prioritizing school or work over love and sex, at least for a time, or maybe they’re simply being extra deliberate in choosing a life partner—and if so, good for them.... [In Japan] many younger people see the very idea of intercourse as mendokusai—tiresome.... Among Japan’s more popular recent innovations... is 'a single-use silicone egg that men fill with lubricant and masturbate inside.'... The internet has made it so easy to gratify basic social and sexual needs that there’s far less incentive to go out into the 'meatworld' and chase those things.... [H]owever 'digitally nonchalant' Millennials might seem... 'they’re prudish in person.'..."

Excerpts from the long article in The Atlantic, "Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?/Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession," by Kate Julian. I'm seeing a lot of links to this article, mostly by older-than-millennial people who are just saying things like this is depressing. There is so much detail to this article. So many ideas to discuss. Let's talk about it. Don't be shallow!

120 comments:

rehajm said...

a single-use silicone egg that men fill with lubricant and masturbate inside

Which came first?

Annie C said...

I tried to find it fascinating. It read like one long whine. Sorry.

gilbar said...

Our Professor Althouse said: Don't be shallow!
Sounds like a call for deeper penetration to me!

BarrySanders20 said...

I’m going to need a feminist astrologist to explain to me why millennials not having sex creates angst in the writer. It reminds me of the patriarchy.

Roger Sweeny said...

"Hell is other people."

Shouting Thomas said...

Or it could be that men are noticing that women might decide to file rape charges against you decades after a one night stand.

gilbar said...

Okay, i went out and did the reading; here's my non-shallow, not snarky summation:
In other words, in the space of a generation, there has been regression towards the mean

Tom said...

Actual sex comes with the risk of disease and pregnancy. It also comes with the risk being acccused of assault because a partner regretted having sex. If someone can have a great orgasm with a toy, a video, or FaceTiming with a friends, why have sex?

rhhardin said...

A great orgasm isn't the point. Any orgasm is the point. It ends an obession for a while.

MayBee said...

Welcome to the New Victorian Era!

Jack Wayne said...

Immature people are self-centered. Why have a relationship with another person when you’re the best person you know? Why write articles about mature people who can’t really exist because you don’t know any? The writer is in an echo chamber and doesn’t know it. The nice thing about social waves like this is that they are self-correcting. The Believers don’t have sex and eventually die out. Like Shakers. Who were also somewhat of a matriarchy. Causation or Correlation?

MayBee said...

This seems tied to the story I just saw on CBS This Morning, that Victoria's Secret is struggling because women are buying comfortable underwear rather than lingerie "That appeals to men". There's a lot packed in that statement, but I remember when women said they bought sexy lingerie for themselves, and not for men.

Ann Althouse said...

@gilbar

You have no idea how many versions of "don't be shallow" I experimented with. Very hard to say that without seeming to be shallow and to invite one-liners. I had some funny ideas, but they were counterproductive to what I really wanted in this discussion,

Ann Althouse said...

"Actual sex comes with the risk of disease and pregnancy. It also comes with the risk being acccused of assault because a partner regretted having sex. If someone can have a great orgasm with a toy, a video, or FaceTiming with a friends, why have sex?"

There's an answer to the question, but if you don't know it, you shouldn't have sex.

Meade said...

Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?

Antonin Scalia and Donald Trump had it all and didn't leave any for young people today..

Ann Althouse said...

We had a simultaneous commentgasm.

Ann Althouse said...

If that's your idea of sex — what Antonin Scalia and Donald Trump had a lot of — who wants it?

HoneyBee said...

Could part of this be that men are feeling very exposed at this point, to lawsuit, expulsion from college or employment, to being socially ostracized or scorned even if their seduction attempt is simply unwelcome. Deep lack of trust between the sexes and great potential peril won't act as an aphrodisiac on young men. Not only are these young men exposing themselves to potential rejection they are exposing themselves to potential social and economic ruin. Under the circumstances a single use egg has the advantage of being safe. I have no sympathy for the me too brigade of modern women. They have made their bed --- let them lie alone in it.

iowan2 said...

If someone can have a great orgasm with a toy, a video, or FaceTiming with a friends, why have sex?

Well, that's a real slap across the rump.

I pity your partner if you think the orgasm is the end all, be all.

Dust Bunny Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dust Bunny Queen said...

Tom said: "Actual sex comes with the risk of disease and pregnancy. It also comes with the risk being acccused of assault because a partner regretted having sex.:

This is true. The perceived dangers outweigh the desired results.

The biggest "MEH!" about sex today is that (in general)there is not much mystery, romance, surprise, anticipation, obligation, duty. In the "olden" days, sex was seen as a special thing. A passage to adulthood. To married life. Some cultures and subcultures still retain the old values but they are increasingly rare.

(note: I am not advocating anything, just making observations).

Today. Sex is everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Movies, TV, Advertising, Cartoons, Books,the News. By the time a child is 14, he or she has probable seen explicit and implicit sex acts in the above mediums with out any (or much) filtration.

This gives unrealistic expectation of what sex is supposed to be.

When your partner has had multiple, many, previous relationships, there is also the fear that you are going to be judged by your partner. OF course you are not supposed to ask the woman this question...how sexist of you. Men fear this as much or more than women, because fear does affect performance.

Can you measure up to the acts in the movies? Books? To your partners previous 5, 10 15, unknown sexual encounters?

It is just too much work. Too much worry....all for something that you don't think is worth while because it is seen to be given away at the drop of a dime. When something is free, it loses its worth.

The magic egg or the battery powered "jackrabbit" has no such expectations of you. It is easy and non judgemental.

Henry said...

The Victorians were accused by later, more liberated people of creating an artificial and destructive concept of sex, a mess of repression and sublimation.

What if it wasn't? Or at least not categorically so.

And one thing Victorians didn't lack was friendships.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Sorry about the typos in my post. I'm too lazy to repost and correct.

:-)

Shouting Thomas said...

No sex here, although ideology has nothing to do with it.

I've buried two wives and I'm 68 years old. Nursing another woman thru terminal illness and death... I'm exhausted with that.

And I have no idea why any woman in her right mind want to take on that burden in relationship with me.

Ralph L said...

what Antonin Scalia and Donald Trump had a lot of

Not with each other! Jeez.

Are the young people counting blow jobs as sex?
It could be because the social pressure toward gay marriage reduces promiscuity, which was skewing the results. It could also have something to do with our aging population, but I think free internet porn is the major factor.

YoungHegelian said...

The societies of the First World assumed, after the traditional mores regarding sex were removed, that a functional & rational sexual marketplace would develop organically.

That assumption has been looking increasingly dubious as time goes on.

Dave Begley said...

To test this sex recession hypothesis, Ms. Julian should spend some weekends in Lincoln, Iowa City, Madison, Columbus, Columbia, Northfield, Ann Arbor et al.

That's what Tom Wolfe would do.

Ryan said...

I was worried my daughter age 17 was having sex with her boyfriend. I guess now I should be proud?

mockturtle said...

Another 'problem' that needs no solution.

SDaly said...

I live in a major metropolitan area. I'm not sure of the cause, but what I've been noticing on the street over last decade is puzzling. The percentage of young people who are actively unattractive increases each year. The young women *look* more manly and harsh, and the young men *look* more rounded and soft. (This is not to say there aren't good-looking millennials or Gen-Z, but the proportion is falling. It's also not just a question of fashion.) Is it that they don't care about being attractive because they aren't looking for sex? Is there some *spark* missing because the level of attractiveness has gone down and there is decreasing differentiation? Are both due to diet and increasing obesity?

M Jordan said...

Fornication is wrong. Adultery is wrong.

Thank you. That is all.

TurbineGuy said...

As a father of five older teenagers let me be blunt.

1. Boys spend hours and hours hanging out playing video games. No way to get laid like that.

2. Girls spend hours and hours on instagram and snapchat taking selfies. Also not conducive to sex.

3. Lets face it... many many teeagers are simply out of shape and not attractive.

4. I suspect that the numbers aren’t telling the whole truth. I suspect there is a significant minority of kids having way more and riskier sex than before. The vast majority all fall in the categories above.

Birkel said...

We are importing people to do the jobs Americans will not do.

Jess said...

It's probably because it's fun to lie on polls, watch the media spend too much time on the subject, and what's nobody's business stays private.

SDaly said...

I didn't read the article, but wonder if it addresses racial / socio-economic differences. The number of STD's among teens that my wife at her inner-city medical practice has not declined.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

It's because kids these days have no idea how to have good sex.

Also, casual sex almost always is both terrible and terribly risky. Who would want to bother?

Feel sad for these kids. I'm 38, Mr. Pants is 47, and we have amazing sex several times a week. But go on, kids, keep rejecting commitment and adulthood. You know best.





Mary Beth said...

I got distracted by the "single-use silicone egg". Japan already has a landfill problem.

CJinPA said...

Seems like we've talked about this topic a lot.

For years, the West has been having fewer and fewer babies. Maybe having less sex is just a natural extension of the mentality of "We're pathetic and should quietly die off."

FIDO said...

There's an answer to the question, but if you don't know it, you shouldn't have sex.

That is the althousian answer...of which there is only one (maybe two)

Last I checked, other women gave something like 150 answers to why they had sex. They wrote a book about it. Check your Amazon portal.

Francisco D said...

My stepson is a college sophomore and a pretty good looking body builder type. He is terrified of the consequences of having sex which include pregnancy, disease, rejection and getting accused of rape by some woke college girl. He is committed to remaining a virgin until he meets the woman he wants to marry.

My college experience in the early 70's was quite a bit different, but I am starting to understand his choice.

Krumhorn said...

Don’t be shallow!

You ask far too much. Like so many others, I’m basically 14. I embody shallow.

- Krumhorn

Meade said...

While it takes a passing glance at teen pregnancy, the article never mentions abortion. Perhaps, after 35 years of easy abortion as birth control, the young people of today find it off-putting — the idea of murdering their progeny. Off-putting and decidedly unsexy.

At the conclusion of the article the author writes about a follow up conversation with one of her interlocutors, April, who was still a virgin. "She told me that, since we’d last talked, she’d met a man on Tinder whom she really liked. They’d gone on several dates over the summer, and fooled around quite a bit [...] As things progressed, April figured that, in the name of real intimacy, she should explain to the man that she hadn’t yet had sex. The revelation didn’t go over well. 'I told him I was a virgin. And he broke up with me.'"

Safe intimacy can be tremendously sexy for women and men. I'm going to guess that, in general, baby boomers, who kicked off the Sexual Revolution, did a horrible job of teaching their children the values of intimacy, trust, and life.

SDaly said...

From Annie Hall:

Alvy Singer: With your wife in bed, does she need some kind of artificial stimulation, like, like marijuana?

Street Stranger: We use a large vibrating egg

Fernandistein said...

@Krumhorn

Q: Why do farts smell?

A: So deaf people can enjoy them.

FIDO said...

When you shame and denigrate men for wanting sex, you get less of it.

When you let your daughters get fat and judgmental, they are less attractive.

Proto- Altho...Feminist women are judgmental boors about sex.

Pornhub is never judgmental. It is always there, it is free and it is creating horrifying expectations in what boys want...and what girls think they might have to give sexually.


Sydney said...

Sex is portrayed in the media as something that is done only for physical pleasure rather than a meaningful interaction with another person/body. If sex is just for gratification rather than expression of love, then it probably is more rewarding to have relationship with your hand or a sex toy and porn. It's quicker and it's easier, but it is sad that they have turned their backs on a serious and meaningful communion with another person.

Shouting Thomas said...

Safe intimacy can be tremendously sexy for women and men. I'm going to guess that, in general, baby boomers, who kicked off the Sexual Revolution, did a horrible job of teaching their children the values of intimacy, trust, and life.

I'm a Baby Boomer.

I live in an in-law apartment downstairs from my daughter. I retired to take care of my grandkids.

I'm a traditional Catholic.

My kids witnessed the terrible destruction of revolving door marriages and shack ups in Woodstock, and the accompanying abandonment of children, and that seems to have had the healthy outcome of convincing them they wanted no part of it.

FIDO said...

I would like to see a breakdown of this by race and by social class.

This feels (but that is an opinion) like a White Middle/Upper class problem, particularly college centered.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I was told [the sex recession]...

In order to get out of this sex recession, we need a massive sexual stimulus package.

I just happen to have one of those right here in my pants...

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Meade I'm going to guess that, in general, baby boomers, who kicked off the Sexual Revolution, did a horrible job of teaching their children the values of intimacy, trust, and life.

I'm guessing that you have guessed correctly.

mccullough said...

I think the proliferation of parents magazines and articles about sex, like this piece, have distorted the process for the younger generation. It’s like the anti-bullying research, initiatives, and programs. Someone is making money off this bullshit. Meanwhile the kids are more confused.

Let the younger generation figure most of it out on their own, as previous generations have. Quit making money of peddling bullshit to them.

stlcdr said...

The Angst Generation.

Or, maybe, it’s older people who are projecting onto younger people what they should be worried about, thereby making that younger generation worried about pretty much everything.

Kevin said...

It's in huge part the internet. Just like how young people these days don't learn to ride a bike and are (way more than past generations) very hesitant to learn to drive. We did those things to get away from our parents. They can get away from their parents simply by putting in ear buds. They can be anywhere in the world, doing anything with anyone, with a click.

Paul said...

Sex becomes 'old' after a while.

Love does not. Sadly now days they teach sex, not love, for each other.

CStanley said...

I'm going to guess that, in general, baby boomers, who kicked off the Sexual Revolution, did a horrible job of teaching their children the values of intimacy, trust, and life.

Agree 100% with Meade here. From my perspective too, those values are also completely enmeshed with Catholic theology (which unfortunately has been rejected not only by most Catholic laypeople but also by a significant percentage of the clergy and hierarchy.)

Dave Begley said...

Paul: Speak for yourself!

Anita Villegas said...

Thanks, Ann. So great. Our boys have been deracinated and our girls are obsessed with status. It's all inverted now.

robother said...

Lesbian Bed Death is contagious. It's spread socially, through hard core Feminism, which has become enshrined in the college and corporate environment. The message is one wrong comment , joke or awkward move and your economic future is over. I witnessed its effects on succeeding generations of young men entering law., who seemed increasingly incapable of joking about sex (even in exclusive male company) or hitting on women. Undermining sexual confidence of young men has the predictable effect on female sexual response. Social media, video games, porn, masterbatory aids are all second level effects or adaptations. Anti-male Feminism is the cause.

William said...

I wonder why people even bothered to have sex in the old days. Women had a good chance of dying in childbirth, sometimes after hours, even days, of excruciating pain. There were all kinds of icky venereal diseases with no known cure or, worse, painful and ineffective treatments. The women wore many layers of cumbersome clothes that made spontaneous sex challenging. Sanitary facilities were basic and people seldom bathed more than once a week, if that. They washed their face and hands and that was it. This would seem to preclude the possibility or, anyway, the pleasures of oral sex. On the plus side, porn was primitive and not readily available. I suppose many people thought bad sex was preferable to porn.......As we round the centenary of Armistice Day, we should look back in our progenitors and the sacrifices they made to bring us into this world.

Virgil Hilts said...

I think young men who are winners still have lots of sex, but there are a lot more men (%-wise) who are losers, overweight, out-of-shape under-achievers (I think) than we saw in prior generations. Those losers have unprecedented (in world history) onanistic "resources" pointed out by DBQueen and so don't have same motivation to become winners so as to attract someone attractive. Meanwhile more & more women who are winners may choose not to have sex with the losers even though there is a shortage of male winners. And, to repeat, there is now Rampant Obesity!

roadgeek said...

As a male, let me just say that it's typically a real chore to get a woman to take off her clothes for you. A lot of courtship and wooing, and it's only gotten harder since women started getting their consciousness raised. It's easier just to buy sex. Some are lucky enough marry someone with a good attitude about sex, but it's rarer than you think.

If I was single, I'd have to take a woman out to dinner, and a movie, or some such thing. I've gamed this out, and If I don't get sex, of some sort, by the end of the third date then I'm out of there. I wouldn't be rude, but I wouldn't be subtle, either. I believe women would appreciate straight talk.

Kevin said...

It's a very very long article, but I finally got down to

"Take for example the online hate and real-life violence waged by the so-called incels—men who claim to be “involuntarily celibate.” Their grievances, which are illegitimate and vile..."

When you demonize male sexuality as illegitimate and vile, and then can't figure out why people are having less sex.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

When you demonize male sexuality as illegitimate and vile

Well, to be fair, the incel grievances as perceived are illegitimate and vile. The stereotype, with perhaps some root in reality, is that your average incel thinks that hot women owe him filthy porno sex with no element of actual human connection and caring. There's a lot of bullshit there to unpack but of course women and decent men are going to reject that.

rehajm said...

In order to get out of this sex recession, we need a massive sexual stimulus package.

An expansionary policy is just one tool. Should it fail to produce the desired stimulus, Operation twist has been shown to produce satisfying results.

(Hey I'm trying. Monetary policy double entendres aren't easy...)

Kevin said...

There's no difference at all between a man who thinks hot women owe him sex and a woman who thinks hot men owe her sex. Yet only one is considered illegitimate and vile.

The other gets to waste her 20s banging the 10% of hot men who leave in a day, a week, or a month, and then she turns 35 and hits The Wall, can't get hot men anymore, and decides that all the men she ignored when she was hot are now illegitimate and vile because they are now ignoring her.

James K said...

The sequence seems to have been something like this:

1. You don't need to be in a committed relationship with someone to have sex with him or her.

2. Committed relationships become rarer, sex becomes just about a physical need.

3. You don't need another person to satisfy that purely physical need.

Still, I suspect these trends are exaggerated for the sake of having something to write about. Plenty of people are still having normal relationships.

James K said...

An expansionary policy is just one tool. Should it fail to produce the desired stimulus, Operation twist has been shown to produce satisfying results.

Pretty good. Strictly speaking, in Seinfeld I believe it was called the "swirl," but twist is close enough.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

is there a sexual "Cash For Clunkers" program in the works?

asking for a friend

PM said...

Porn. #MeDo.

Freeman Hunt said...

I think it's phones. There is so much less chatting and casual conversation among young people today. My husband gives a lecture at a local university once a year. Before the room opens, the students used to all stand around talking together. Now they silently scroll through their phones. At another university, a friend's beautiful daughter has complained that no one even approaches her. That would have been unthinkable in the past. Why take risks when you can distract yourself with new memes?

walter said...

Reading in in the "..." of the excerpts:

A recent article in The Economist, titled “Japan’s Sex Industry Is Becoming Less Sexual,” described onakura shops, where men pay to masturbate while female employees watch, and explained that because many younger people see the very idea of intercourse as mendokusai—tiresome—“services that make masturbation more enjoyable are booming.”

In their 2015 book, Modern Romance, the sociologist Eric Klinenberg and the comedian Aziz Ansari (who earlier this year became infamous for a hookup gone awry) describe Ansari’s visit to Japan seeking insights into the future of sex. He concluded that much of what he’d read about herbivore men missed the mark. Herbivores, he found, were “interested in sexual pleasure”—just not “through traditional routes.” Among Japan’s more popular recent innovations, he notes, is “a single-use silicone egg that men fill with lubricant and masturbate inside.” One night in Tokyo, Ansari picks one up at a convenience store, heads back to his hotel, and—sorry for the visual—gives it a go. He finds it cold and awkward, but understands its purpose. “It was a way,” he writes, “to avoid putting yourself out there and having an actual experience with another person.”
--
So..Aziz may now have a steady supply of those eggs...

Saint Croix said...

I got distracted by the "single-use silicone egg".

I got distracted with the fucksaw class at Northwestern.

That's awesome that they replaced it with a Marriage class. Kudos!

Birkel said...

Mr and Mrs Pants win the tread. And Life!

Rick said...

the percentage of high-school students who’d had intercourse dropped from 54 to 40 percent. In other words, in the space of a generation, sex has gone from something most high-school students have experienced to something most haven’t.

So about one in seven have a different status yet we conclude something is different about the entire generation. The lesson seems to be that journalists and other public commenters don't understand statistics.

bagoh20 said...

"rehajm said...

A single-use silicone egg that men fill with lubricant and masturbate inside

Which came first?


That there is funny. I don't care who you are.

Well done.

Anthony said...

Someone should write a book on that. . . . .

Ralph L said...

Check your Amazon portal.

Any portal in a storm.

William said...

I blame Trump. Who wants to have sex with supermodels, porn stars, or Playmates of the Year? Only fat, racist, fascist losers engage in such distasteful activities.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

rehajm said...

Which came first?

The guys you have to watch out for are the ones buying the single-use silicone chickens.

traditionalguy said...

Today's entertainment business portrays success for women as becoming independent strong warriors who are bi-sxual lesbians. Compare that to the 1980s and 1990s entertainment that focused on women who succeded by romance and and heterosexual hook ups.

Today's men are too lazy to fight that new system of expectations. They are excluded by it and basically are being told to just become gay themselves for a thrill.

walter said...

“If you are a young woman,” she added, glancing down at her daughter, “and you’re having sex and somebody tries to choke you, I just don’t know if you’d want to go back for more right away.”

bagoh20 said...

It's a bad time for young people in my opinion. Technology and current attitudes are robbing them of a great adventure, learning about each other and themselves hands on, which really never gets old.

Us older people now have more freedom and excitement in the area of sex than younger people do. My sex life comes with virtually no risk other than heart attack. My partner and I both love it, and enjoy it often thanks to our old fashioned attitudes. Never before has it been more true that "youth is wasted on the young." It's sad, but they have a choice, and they are choosing puritanism. Hopefully it's just the temporary swing of the pendulum.

chuck said...

Like the climate, sexual norms cycle for reasons not understood. That the sexual abandon of the boomers would be followed by a Victorian reaction was likely, and many reasons can be adduced, but few are likely explanatory.

tcrosse said...

Soon the oceans will be clogged with discarded single-use silicon eggs and Keurig coffee pods, even if we get rid of the plastic straws.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

maybe these young people are looking to become a Supreme Court justice or hold some public office.

then there's the Junior Anti-Sex League...

William said...

Successful relationships are still possible. Who here wasn't moved to tears when they heard of Obama going on stage to present Michelle with a bouquet of flowers during her book tour. What a simple, unaffected gesture! This is the beau ideal of romantic love that all young men and women should strive for. Who wouldn't want an enduring relationship relationship with Michelle rather than some transient affairs with prnstars, Playmates, and supermodels?

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

the risk/reward calculus overrides the biological imperative

Birkel said...

And William loses the thread.
Yuck!

walter said...

Yes, Birkel.
Maybe he just invested in Irony Eggs and is trying to drum up biz.

iowan2 said...

The guys you have to watch out for are the ones buying the single-use silicone chickens.

What's the difference between kinky, and perverted?

Kinky is sex with a feather. Perverted is sex with the whole damned (silicone?)Chicken

Yancey Ward said...

From 54-46 to 40-60 isn't that dramatic a change, is it? And it is for the sexual act of intercourse, not for other activities. If there is a causal factor, it probably is the internet, but I wouldn't blame porn. For myself, porn always made me want to have sex more, not less. Really, what boy ever read car mags and desired a Corvette less?

Yancey Ward said...

While this is purely anecdotal on my part, I find that the physical attractiveness of female teens today seems to be on par or even higher with how they were when I was a teenager, but I definitely can't say the same for the males, who seem as a group pudgier and/or far less physically capable.

Howard said...

Blogger Virgil Hilts said...

I think young men who are winners still have lots of sex, but there are a lot more men (%-wise) who are losers, overweight, out-of-shape under-achievers (I think) than we saw in prior generations. Those losers have unprecedented (in world history) onanistic "resources" pointed out by DBQueen and so don't have same motivation to become winners so as to attract someone attractive. Meanwhile more & more women who are winners may choose not to have sex with the losers even though there is a shortage of male winners. And, to repeat, there is now Rampant Obesity!


You describe devotees of Trump to a tee. Fact: Obese Incels are not coastal elite millennials wearing skinny jeans.

bagoh20 said...

"Who wouldn't want an enduring relationship relationship with Michelle rather than some transient affairs with prnstars, Playmates, and supermodels?"

I assume I can't have both so I'll pass on Michelle. Playmates and supermodels can be fine people too.

Also I'm not impressed with shows of affection that are purposefully done in public. That makes you wonder what the real motivation is, and when showing someone that you love them, you don't want any ambiguity about why you are doing it.

Earnest Prole said...

James Thurber and E. B. White wrote Is Sex Necessary? in 1929.

Anita Villegas said...

it's phones +1

Anita Villegas said...

I blame myself, mostly

rcocean said...

Old people being interested in young people's sex lives always struck me as odd.

The only thing to worry about is, young people having too much sex and getting abortions and having unwanted kids.

Otherwise, kids will figure it out for themselves. Just like they always have.

chuck said...

> Fact: Obese Incels are not coastal elite millennials wearing skinny jeans.

Might be true, I've seen enough elite, millennial men who look like Twiggy to wonder WTF happened to the male half of the species. When did having toothpick arms become a thing?

Rick said...

In my interviews, inhibition seemed a constant companion to many people who’d been abstinent for a long time. Most of them described abstinence not as something they had embraced (due to religious belief, say) so much as something they’d found themselves backed into as a result of trauma, anxiety, or depression.

Involuntarily abstinent - or celibate - you might say.

Howard said...

Blogger chuck said...

> Fact: Obese Incels are not coastal elite millennials wearing skinny jeans.

Might be true, I've seen enough elite, millennial men who look like Twiggy to wonder WTF happened to the male half of the species. When did having toothpick arms become a thing?


The Marines motto is lean and mean, so, it's been a thing for a while now.

Rick said...

Take for example the online hate and real-life violence waged by the so-called incels—men who claim to be “involuntarily celibate.” Their grievances, which are illegitimate and vile, offer a timely reminder that isolated young people are vulnerable to extremism of every sort.

It's revealing to note you just have to limit the group to men and their entire framing changes. This went from a problem to be solved and treated with compassion to demeaning them and ascribing the worst of any element onto them.

chickenlittle said...

“It's revealing to note you just have to limit the group to men and their entire framing changes. This went from a problem to be solved and treated with compassion to demeaning them and ascribing the worst of any element onto them.”

Thanks for pointing that out and also that the original piece is just another political hit piece and not worth discussing for that reason.

grimson said...

The root cause seems to be a growing inability to form a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. This may also explain why 40% of births are to unmarried women.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Blogger chuck said...

When did having toothpick arms become a thing?


Howard said...

The Marines motto is lean and mean, so, it's been a thing for a while now.

I've known a few Marines. None of them had toothpick arms. Maybe the next time you come across a Marine, you could point out that you think they have toothpick arms. See how that works out for ya.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Saint Croix -
What happens if the dildo falls off and all that's left is the sawzall?

Yeah - that's a good idea.

COLLEGE!

curiosity said...

To me this all seems like the consequences of people being caught in a loop around super stimuli of which dating apps. porn, and smart phones constantly connected to social media obviously qualify. Real relationships are messy and hard, and so many people don't know how to start them in a normal daily setting or are able to recognize somebody who is trying to do so with them.

https://www.sparringmind.com/supernormal-stimuli/

FIDO said...

Really, what boy ever read car mags and desired a Corvette less?

He wanted the Corvette more.

He wanted the Yugo less.

Warren Fahy said...

And in that huge laundry list not once is mentioned the political wedge driven between the sexes from the earliest years of their education, between Me Too 1-in-5-are-raped believe-all-women on the one hand and toxicly masculine rape-culture patriarchal misogynistic alpha males on the other? Sex has been politicized after the fashion of Orwell's "Junior Anti-Sex League" in 1984. All sex is rape. Do you want to be a victim? Do you want to be a victimizer? Of all political sins today heterosexual relationships have got to be the most politically shunned - young women are taught to resist the patriarchy and denounce toxic males and young men are accused of fashioning a rape culture and being party to these grandiose conspiracy theories while being falsely accused and expelled and de-platformed and fired with little or no evidence. No wonder young men have retreated into MGTOW video game worlds even as pussy-hat wearing women and their lingerie-wearing cohort of supine self-neutered beta males scream that their video games are virtual rape cultures that must be stamped out of virtual existence, too. But no, it can't be that... It must be those other things.

FIDO said...

I blame music. Where are the love songs anymore?

Lots of music about dickin bitches, but not at looking at a guy or girl and your heart beating faster.

And if you suggest that is a thing, your woke friends will laugh at you.

Music, back in Eleanor or Aquitaine's day, created Chivalry and Romantic Love.

Seems that experiment is over.

So for guys, it's 'bend over that couch there'

And for girls, it's like 'be worth bending over the couch'. Six six and six

funsize said...

I read this article and it made me tremendously sad. The true state of our culture revealed.

Jim at said...

Man accused of attempted rape.
From 30 years ago.
At a party he wasn't even at.
And a substantial portion of the population believes the accuser.

And we're confused as to the results?

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

He didn't rape her - even if Blasey Lefty is telling the truth. At worst - a drunken 17 year old rolled on top of a 15 year old - fully clothed and perhaps humped her - fully clothed. Then the pal bounced everyone off the bed. That's her story.

I think she's lying. But even if she isn't - no rape occurred.

Dickin'Bimbos@Home said...

Avenetti brought the gravitas.

n.n said...

And Pro-Chocie/selective-child. Not every man, not every woman, will tolerate selective and recycled ("Planned") child, summary judgment, and cruel and unusual punishment, of their Posterity. Some may even go out of their way to avoid men and women who indulge in "Pro-Choice two choices too late", the wicked solution. The warlock trials, denigrating individual dignity ("diversity"), debasing human life, and liberal sexual relations and their aftermath (e.g. AIDS), only served to exacerbate rejection and moderation.

n.n said...

The sexual revolution was a milestone in the progress of "casting couch relationships" a.k.a. "friendship with benefits", devaluing both male and female dignity for a relationship without responsibility, and numerous semantic plays, including: a baby as a "burden", and a woman as a "beast of burden".

chickenlittle said...

When did having toothpick arms become a thing?

Speaking of toothpick armed Betas, I read that the Dems are considering running Beto for Prez in 2020. I guess he's swoon material for today's politically active woman.

chickenlittle said...

He's just like Obama only white. Dreamy.

Gretchen said...

Anyone think all the porn available makes young people worry they are inadequately attractive or skilled? Anyone think the impression that it is typical teen behavior to go from a kiss to sex keeps teens from that first kissing stage and keeps things from moving further?

Bunkypotatohead said...

It's natures way of telling you something's wrong.