July 27, 2018

What does the NYT know about me?

I'm looking at the front page of the NYT website right now. The sidebar has 3 lists of links under the headings "Most Emailed," "Most Viewed," and "For You." Here's what I'm seeing right now:







So how do you have sex in a canoe?
... Take out the removable center thwart, if there is one; you don’t want to get stuck under it in the event of a flip. (One old boat in the museum’s collection, called a “girling canoe,” features a detachable thwart and a record player.)... Be mindful of the fact that sound carries particularly well across still water. To avoid someone rushing to rescue you, keep some body parts visible above the gunwale. “A canoe with nobody in it raises alarm”...
ADDED:

42 comments:

gspencer said...

"So how do you have sex in a canoe?"

With balancing discretion, if at all.

rehajm said...

I suspect they recognized you spent time with Gwyneth in the other article and simply recommended the most current wackadoodle stuff they had.

exhelodrvr1 said...

Reminds me of the Monty Python joke from "Live at the Hollywood Bowl"

"How is American beer like making love in a canoe?"
"It's fucking close to water!"

BAS said...

They know previous articles that you read and will show articles that are similar in nature.

Ralph L said...

They call them thwarts for a reason.

I haven't seen this on FailArmy, yet.

rehajm said...

Avoid the canoes with ribbed bottoms. Pull the bow up on to a sand bank. Try creating a flat surface by criss crossing the oars in the bow- sometimes it works.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

To avoid someone rushing to rescue you, keep some body parts visible above the gunwale. “A canoe with nobody in it raises alarm”...

I would think a canoe with a periscope would raise some questions too...

exhelodrvr1 said...

"Avoid the canoes with ribbed bottoms."

But what about her pleasure?

rehajm said...

But what about her pleasure?

Your check is in the mail...

Jake said...

It knows Meade is on his way home and feeling frisky?

traditionalguy said...

The secret is using the correct paddling rythm and a water soluble "sunscreen."

richlb said...

Canoe the fragrance used to the stuff back in the day. It would get you laid.

Sebastian said...

Some deep AI at work here.

The lists are constructed to create a puzzle for a blogger to blog, asking a question like, what does the NYT know about me?

The canoe bit is just bait. The real hook is #3, the profile that listed reasons not to date, she was intrigued: just the sort of thing a contrarian babe might click.

tim in vermont said...

I was watching a show called “Buying Yachts” or “Selling Yachts” or. something on Direct TV, because I like boats, and after I left the TV on and a show called “Buying Jets” came on. Next day on my phone which is not even connected to my wifi serves me up an ad on Althouse in the “Ashley Madison” slot, I guess, though I have never seen one of those, for fractional jet ownership.

Annie C. said...

When will I see the word and hear gunnel and not gunwhale?

Owen said...

Canoe (n). Canoodle (v).

Sebastian said...

Speaking of deep AI, now I'm getting Planned Parenthood ads in the side bar.

Surely a bot can configure out that the predilections of the hostess don't necessarily square with those of the visitors?

Anyway, I'm happy they are wasting their money. On second thought, if PP is going to use tax payer funds to spread its propaganda, some of it might as well go to Althouse.

rhhardin said...

Man in a canoe.

MayBee said...

We had a cabin on the river, so I've seen thousands of canoeists in my lifetime. For some reason, people think being in a canoe or on a canoeing excursion makes them invisible. So my advice would be: if you are going to have sex in a canoe, look around and make sure there isn't a cabin on the bank of the river.

MayBee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tcrosse said...

When will I see the word and hear gunnel and not gunwhale?

When the boatswain leaves the forecastle.

chickelit said...

“Man in a canoe.”

The NYT knows that Althouse readers are clitter bingers.

tim in vermont said...

I know that AT&T was bragging about placing directed ads into DirecTV content based on your internet usage, but I do feel a little bit betrayed as a customer to know that they are selling my viewing choices to Google to serve up ads on Althouse.

gilbar said...

we sang this at camp, Every night just a boy and a girl in a little canoe
The boys and the girls (our camp was co-ed) would try to outshout each other with different lyrics about who was swimming

Martha said...

OMG!
What does the NYT know about me?
Top article recommended for me: HOW TO HAVE SEX IN A CANOE


Gahrie said...

My English friends' favorite joke:

How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water.

Gahrie said...

I have to start reading the comments before I post...

Ken B said...

Sex in a canoe is easier than colluding secretly via Twitter.

Ken B said...

Ralph wins! Some good jokes but “They call them ‘thwarts’ for a reason” is perfect.

Big Mike said...

You should start by getting a boyfriend or husband who knows how to paddle a canoe.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

ohhhh-- IN a canoe! Not 'with'.
ok.

PM said...

Canoe Sales Increase Among Incels

Leland said...

I think creating a dating profile with the negatives is brilliant.

"... If you are expecting these things; go find someone else.

I'm looking for someone that's not interested in changing me. So if you like sex in a comfortable bed; you better know that I like the great outdoors and paddling my canoe. If you want to date me, learn to balance your bare butt on a cross beam and enjoy the motion of the ocean."

tcrosse said...

To avoid someone rushing to rescue you, keep some body parts visible above the gunwale. “A canoe with nobody in it raises alarm”...

Variations on the Cowgirl position are recommended, so as not to raise eyebrows.

rcocean said...

Why athlete's foot?

Is Althouse an athlete?

Michael in ArchDen said...

There is a Dallas brewery that makes an American Light Lager called "Sex in a Canoe"

chuck said...

Thwarted in love takes on new meaning ...

loudogblog said...

That Groucho Marx clip reminded me of the canoe scene in the 1979 movie, Meatballs, starring Bill Murray.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgUQapwdssA

Freeman Hunt said...

Row to shore. Carry canoe into house. Fill canoe with pillows. Consider sides and impact with shoulders. Decide far superior locations exist.

Freeman Hunt said...

Seems like a great deal of trouble for impaired action. Maybe park the canoe and find a clearing for your blanket.

Freeman Hunt said...

"How's Ron?"
"I don't know. I broke up with him."
"Why?"
"Too high maintenance."
"In what way?"
"He kept asking me to have sex with him in a canoe."
"Oh. I see what you mean."

mikee said...

I shared a 2 bedroom duplex apartment in grad school with a wonderful guy who was quite the outdoorsman. He'd hiked the entire Pacific Crest Trail. He was in the university Outdoors Club. He'd skied across our Texas A&M campus when it once snowed just enough, and also had canoed across campus when there was a torrential rain. He kept his kayak hung over his bed, diagonally, from corner to corner in his bedroom.

And it was a memorable day when I found him seated upside down in his kayak in his bedroom, paddling furiously, quite undressed except for his kayaking helmet, in an effort to impress the sweet young woman who was laughing uncontrollably belos him on his bed, stark naked.

Sometimes a one man kayak can accomplish all that a full sized canoe can be used for.