... at The NY Post. I love everything about it — the name Randall Bellows III, the way the shirt pattern matches and clashes with the sofa, the long-fingered hand gesture, the plant on the top of the shelf that (just by chance?) makes Bellows's head look like a pineapple, the fact that I have no idea what Venmo is, the goofy smile that seems not to be anxiety but actually could be a very particular kind of anxiety that I have not yet encountered, the kind of anxiety known as "Venmo anxiety." Personally, I feel no anxiety at all. I'm just amused and bemused by Randall Bellows III and the quirky ailment-of-the-moment he seems to be experiencing — without ostensible pain — in Brooklyn, where — apparently — one dispels anxiety with a roll of the eyes and an insouciant hand flourish.
Okay. Now I'll read the article:
Whenever Caroline Keane opens the Venmo app, she always intends to just go in and out. But, inevitably, she gets sucked into the mobile money-transfer service — specifically, its social feed, where she can see friends and co-workers requesting cash from one another for drinks, dinners and Ubers. Scrolling through the app gives the 23-year-old PR professional a particular sense of anxiety: Is everyone hanging out without her?...The solution is: Put down the phone and get back to writing Nancy Drew mysteries.
ADDED: I read the headline to Meade and he said, "Ben Wa?" I repeated the word more clearly, Venmo. He said: "I know what Ben Wa balls are."
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45 comments:
She has no idea who Nancy Drew was.
The Ben Wa balls entry was awesome. Reads like an infomercial.
Oh, the old clock.
Seems like the Venmo app would be used more to hit grandparents up for money.
The picture looks like it captured the moment Randall Bellows III was asked to leave a restaurant because of his politics.
Bob and Ray did Anxiety. Audio (12 minutes in)
https://archive.org/details/BNR743010976CostumeFitting
12:10 - 'Anxiety' Commander Neville Putney (Bob) introduces the story of a railroad engineer, Quincy Titus, and his fireman, Titus Moorehead, who suddenly discover that the throttle of their locomotive is stuck. Will they escape? You'll have to listen to find out. 'Anxiety' is a take-off of the CBS Radio series 'Suspense', whose climaxes were usually a bit more suspenseful. Here, the familiar tagline "...a tale well-calculated to keep you in... Suspense" is changed to "...a tale well-designed to keep you in... Anxiety". Bob and Ray were not the first ones to satirize this line; in its earliest years, MAD Magazine's cover featured the line (in all-caps) "Tales Calculated To Drive You MAD". The character name 'Titus Moorehead' may be a tip-of-the-hat to Suspense's most prolific star, Agnes Moorehead, who appeared in thirty-three episodes.
There’s an app to bum money off your friends?
So happy to've amused you. I've also heard of kugel exercises. You do them with a potato I think.
Soy just got real.
where she can see friends and co-workers requesting cash from one another for drinks, dinners and Ubers.
Sounds fake.
Will there now be an uptick in the sale of Ben Wa balls on Amazon?
You do them with a potato I think.
A Sweet Potato.
They'll get over it. We did.
Why is he holding up a broken mirror? He'll stop smiling when he cuts his hand.
I have used Venmo on occasion, but never bothered reviewing its "social" feature. Also, it seems like a bit of a stretch to describe a 23-year-old as a "millenial." It's kind of like describing someone born in the early 1960s as a "baby boomer," perhaps technically correct but not otherwise illuminating.
p.s. It seems "millenial" has become a catchphrase to describe any young person doing something obnoxious.
I think I'll write a reverse version of the Asimov' story "Nightfall." Instead of humanity reacting to the thousand-year moment when the night sky clears revealing a universe of stars, I'll drop a curtain over all telecommunications. No smartphone, no internet, no broadcast media. The insane reaction would probably be the same in both stories.
My updated version of that Nancy Drew book, written in memoir fashion, would be titled "The Secret of the Old Cock."
Sounds like a app perfectly designed just for deadbeats.
J. Farmer,
Does the app at least allow you to easily see net transfers on person-to-person basis without resort to pencil and paper?
@Yancey Ward:
It simply says so-and-so paid so-and-so along with whatever description they have given. It does not show the amounts paid. You can see a sample screenshot of the app here.
I can understand this. I know when I'm downtown and the street people don't ask me for my spare change I feel depressed and all alone in the world. There is something about being hit up for money that just screams "I love you."
Did a professional photographer take that picture? Because....it's bad.
I want to be sure I have the Althouse-approved terms. They go into the pussy, but they only go through the yoni. Is that right?
Bill Peschel
I already wrote such a story. I called it “ Nov 8, 2016”.
I knew there was a reason when the Professor posted the Millennials don’t want your stuff article I thought, yeah, but they want our money.
STOP EATING OUT! DONT BUY BOOZE UNTIL YOU CAN AFFORD TO PAY FOR IT!
There’s a reason you take old crap you don’t want. You don’t have money for a reason!
A lot of my clients pay me with venmo. I like looking through the feed. I set mine to private right away though so nobody can see my transactions. And one of the most interesting things about the feed for me is here are the people that don't care about privacy
... at The NYT Post.
Since when did the New York Times and the New York Post merge? Granted, they may have to at some point, but they're not there yet.
OT -- but I can't wait for a cogent explanation of how the phrase "Are you out of your cotton-picking mind?" is a racial slur.
From the article: "Venmo does allow users to make their activity private, but many don’t, because it’s a complicated process"
Complicated by design I would imagine. I had no idea so many people were displaying their financial transactions for all to see. Maybe its an expression of The Great Material Continuum (Deep Space Nine/Star Trek)? The Ferengi would be proud.
Bill P,
There's a one panel cartoon (which I can't find right now) showing a network service guy at a customer's apartment door. The service guy is saying "I understand your internet has been out for four hours."
The customer is wearing a loincloth, has a bone in his nose, and is brandishing a spear. Behind him, in the apartment, you can see bits of jungle and a cooking fire.
Millennials do the anxiety thing really well.
I have used Venmo three times. The first was to get paid by one of our young interns for something - don't remember what, the second was to pay my son for my half of a subscription we shared, the third time was to pay for some wedding things for my son we agreed to pay for. I remember when I opened up the app the third time, I saw a whole bunch of messages about so and so just paid for this and so and so just did that and I wondered why the hell did I care and why was this being broadcast to the world?
Oh, and it is time to delete the app., now that I realize what is going on.
He said: "I know what Ben Wa balls are."
Of course. Those are the famous society dances with music provided by David Benoit, otherwise known as the Los Angeles Lester Lanin.
Or something.
Many Gen-M's are anxious because they are so politically correct, they fret over being Venmo-shamed. It must be like walking through a psychic mindfield.
Ben Wa balls play a role in the superb Korean film The Handmaiden. On iTunes. Those of you guys who have used them may have wondered why they don’t seem to live up to the hype. The movie shows a couple of times, specially the last time, the correct context, method and style.
Our society is ill.
@Meade: Leinenkegel exercises require lots of arm curls and good hand -to-mouth coordination. Also, it’s best to swallow.
"But why? Because you don't have to give out your card number?" she said as she drove off in her sporty blue roadster. Suddenly an ominous creaking just as the sky darkened ominously was followed by a sharp crack as if the creaking board cracked under the heavy ominous tread as the ominous shadow in the next room lengthened. Ominously, obviously. Nancy tossed her golden curls and laughed sportily as the water rose in the cellar. "It'll put out the leaking gas when the pilot turns on and the house explodes," she laughed. "But who accessed my Venmo account - that's what worries me. Someone used it in Chik-fil-A and posted the payment openly trying to ruin me. I don't know anyone named Leeza Page, #dirtylawyer" A low vicious laugh came through the ceiling, ominously.
That dude, who of course lives in Brooklyn, looks like a douche.
Thanks, Hipster Vacuum: "That dude, who of course lives in Brooklyn, looks like a douche"
Was casting about for a way to work the phrase "grow a pair" into a comment along the ben-wa fork of this thread.
Caroline Keane... "23-year-old PR professional..."
Let's see. Most young adults graduate from college at the age of 21 or 22. Let's give Ms. Keane the benefit of the doubt, and have her out of college at age 21, with no further graduate study. She launches directly into her chosen field with no time between graduation and assuming her First Real Job. That leaves her a dizzying 1½-2 years to build up her experience enough to be known as an Actual Professional in the field of PR.
Is this a great country, or what?
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