June 6, 2018

"The Kate Spade brand was like a ray of sunshine — an antithesis to pessimism, self-conscious ennui..."

"... and even the sarcastic humor of her brother-in-law David Spade during his “Saturday Night Live” heyday. The company’s calling card was unabashed optimism."

Robin Givhan writes (in WaPo) about how Kate Spade's designs (handbags, etc.) were so nice at "a time when much of the highbrow fashion industry was fixated on minimalism and the washed-out, dour aesthetic known as heroin chic."

And then Kate Spade killed herself. Was the fashion always a facade, some desperate grasping to climb out of horrible darkness? Were the women who wore "heroin chic" happier than those who went for Kate Spade's clear colors and happy shapes?

It's interesting to think of these questions after blogging about Miss America's effort to get away from "outward appearance." What are other people really like on the inside? Well, the inside is private. We get to choose how much access to give to our inner selves, and to show what's on the inside, we need to let it out — by actions and gestures and by words but also by how we look. We've got to wear something, and we can choose to reveal what we are inside through what we wear, but we don't have to tell the straightforward truth.

You can wear yellow-and-white polka dots when you are gloomy and nothing but black when you're doing just fine.

This made me think of the Teri Garr character in "Afterhours":

24 comments:

robother said...

Her reported suicide note to her 13 year old daughter (its not your fault, ask your father why I did this) is consistent with the aggression I've sensed behind the young to middle aged suicides I knew. She is abandoning her daughter in the most brutal way imaginable, and trying to cut her off from the only parent she has left to care for her. Depression? That's something all humans must deal with. Suicide as aggression is quite a bit darker, not worth our mourning.

buwaya said...

Suicide while ones kid is an early teen is an especially terrible thing.

carrie said...

Supposedly she was bipolar. The suicide rate for bipolar people is very high. With two exceptions, everyone I have known who committed suicide was bipolar. The stigma from mental illness still prevents many people from seeking treatment which is sad.

Henry said...

Was the fashion always a facade, some desperate grasping to climb out of horrible darkness?

She could have been happy at some points in her life and depressed in others. Depression is an opportunist.

rhhardin said...

An optimist sees the bright side of death.

Fernandinande said...

"An optimist sees the bright side of death."

Is the handbag half full or half empty? And is the other half filled with dreams - or nightmares?

Etienne said...

You can see suicide types a mile off.

They become fixated on themselves. Friends stop calling. Push them to voice mail if they call. It's like an uncontrolled spin. Down you go and at the bottom, when you crash, you die.

People who become self-centered are no fun to be around. But if you can push past that and tell them that they were once really more alive and you thought about them everyday, and wanted to call them or go out somewhere.

Teenagers are a real bummer too. As you are in the spin, the teens don't give a fuck about you. They have their head glued to some electronic device and are only interested in sex. The parents aren't even on their list of 10 important things.

I don't worry about her daughter, she probably gave her mom zero support anyway.

There is a certain point in the spin, that even if you do the right thing, you are too low to survive. The crash is going to happen. You are on the back side of the power curve as you try to climb out and gravity wins.

You have to be pretty self-centered and free-ranging insane to strangle yourself. I mean hanging with a nice jump that snaps the spine is one thing, but to strangle yourself on a doorknob, well that takes some pretty serious asshole.

William said...

The whole concept of celebrity handbag designers and of having your mood influenced by your choice of handbag is ripe for satire. David Spade would not be the ideal choice to mock this phenomenon, but it's certainly mockable.

Jim said...

I loved Afterhours. Thanks for the clip.

Ray - SoCal said...

Seems her husband was filing for divorce.

She did not get treatment for her depression due to fear of the negative publicity.

Fame seems to be to much for many to handle.

Sad.

Etienne said...
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Snark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Snark said...

"Her reported suicide note to her 13 year old daughter (its not your fault, ask your father why I did this) is consistent with the aggression I've sensed behind the young to middle aged suicides I knew. She is abandoning her daughter in the most brutal way imaginable, and trying to cut her off from the only parent she has left to care for her. Depression? That's something all humans must deal with. Suicide as aggression is quite a bit darker, not worth our mourning."

The portion of the suicide note to her daughter seems mercifully ambiguous. It's more precisely something like "I have always loved you. This is not your fault. Ask your daddy!" That could be read as her telling her daughter to seek her father's wisdom and affirmation of the fact that she is not at fault, and I hope this is the way her daughter is encouraged to see it.

Snark said...
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Snark said...

Here sister said she's been struggling with manic depression for 3 or 4 years but continued to resist getting help because she was afraid of damaging the brand because of the brand's specific associations with quirky optimism etc.

robother said...

"That could be read as her telling her daughter to seek her father's wisdom and affirmation of the fact that she is not at fault."

In the context of the father filing for divorce? It would be pretty to think so, but, no.

JMW Turner said...

People just *think* they want to know what's going on inside of those attractive facades.

FullMoon said...

I mean hanging with a nice jump that snaps the spine is one thing, but to strangle yourself on a doorknob, well that takes some pretty serious asshole.

Yeah, slow strangle seems kinda rough. Anticipate drugs in system to help it along.
Woman was seriously unhappy to reach point where misery overcomes fear of death.

Problem with suicide to punish husband is she not around to see him suffer.

Andrew said...

A young woman at my workplace committed suicide, after breaking up with her boyfriend. Her suicide note included a request that her boyfriend feed her pets.

mikee said...

A talk radio analysis of this suicide included the information that she sold her handbag line for something like $150,000,000 and in a few years it was worth a couple billion, and that this might have been a despair-inducing thing for her.

Would that I was so unfortunate. I'd do my best to fight the despair.

Etienne said...

...sold her handbag line for something like $150 M...

That ain't much in NYC, but it'll get you a nice crib in Dallas. Maybe she should have moved to America, and get out of the shithole.

Etienne said...

Husband reports there was no note, she was under doctors care, they were not separated, or seeking divorce, they just had separate homes.

So it looks like the press is 100% fake news.

The only thing they got right, is that she is dead, and it was a suicide.

Lydia said...

From a very good piece in the NY Post by a writer whose father committed suicide when she was 19:

...beyond the tragedy of Spade’s death, there is the weight of the tragedy her daughter will carry into adulthood. While Spade assured her daughter “it had nothing to do with you,” it will have everything to do with Frances for the rest of her life. ...

We often hear from those who have attempted suicide but survived that they believed the world would be better off without them. While sharing suicide-prevention hotline numbers can help a great deal, sharing the perspectives and grief of those left behind can as well. Because those still in this world but contemplating an exit must know that their feelings of self-worthlessness are not shared by those who love them.

If someone is contemplating suicide, they should know the utter devastation that will be left in their wake. While those who have died may have thought the world a better place without them, we survivors are living witness to the fact that it is not, that our worlds will not ever be whole without them in it.

truth speaker said...

Robin Givens: just another shallow, low intelligence smiling face.

To give such meaning to a purse (a PURSE!!!) shows some one with low awareness.