It's the lamest sexual offense imaginable — looking for women in skirts and trying to get a glimpse at what's up under there, but only in the form of a photograph. The man never got a photograph before the battery malfunctioned, injuring his foot. In fact, he hadn't even left his home. So he wasn't caught, he turned himself in. He turned himself in because he'd sought counseling from "a clergyman" who told him that's what he should do.
Here's how the story appeared on the blog of the Madison Chief of Police, Mike Koval:
5) WEST: Information/Sex Offense – 5:24pm. Officers at the West Police District station were contacted by a subject (32-year-old HM) who wanted to turn himself in to police. The subject reported he had purchased a shoe camera that he intended to use to take "upskirt" videos of females, but the camera battery had exploded prior to obtaining any video, injuring the subject's foot. The subject was counseled on his actions and released from the scene as no illicit video had been taken. Investigation continuing.I'm glad this man is not named. This is a real "go and sin no more" situation.
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52 comments:
What was Chuck doing in Madison?
You got no corpus delecti.
But the dude better find himself another "clergyman".
Reminds me of The Onion's legendary (and hilarious) "Area Man." E.g., as in "Area man finally gets sympathy laugh after fifth time repeating clichéd joke."
If everyone took religion that seriously, the police would be overwhelmed with the investigation of absurdly petty crime. As a taxpayer, I object.
The camera exploded eh? File under "Existence of God, Proof of."
But maybe attempted upskirting is a gateway crime, and people who get that far really should be dealt with lest they move on to actual upskirting and ???.
As an ALJ I had a case related to this. Guy works in downtown Omaha and he goes into a big bank and tries to take an upskirt photo. I think the victim was an employee and she caught on. He runs out of the bank and is not apprehended.
Now understand that there are probably ten super video cameras in the lobby.
She tells security.
The guy comes back! And not long after the first incident. Security is watching for him. And the Omaha police are there! Guy is confronted and arrested.
Employer finds out. Female workers are creeped out working with him. Somehow he gets fired but I don't recall why. And I can't even recall how I ruled on his unemployment claim but I recall thinking that if he hadn't returned to the scene of the crime he would still have his job.
Many criminals are just idiots.
Girls don't wear shiny shoes anymore, probably.
Which raises the question: why did Florida Man go to Madison?
Revenge on the Nerds by Tesla batteries. This is finally a funny story. The late night comics have material unless they call for Progs to stalk Sanders and Nielsen with cams.
The real story is how un-erotic upskirt photos actually turn out to be. I went to Catholic grade school and they had stereotypical skirt uniforms for the girls and if you had asked me then what the most erotic thing imaginable was, I would have come up with something like that. But now that we have the internet, you can see them by the 10s of 1000s if you want (thanks, Japan!).
It's like, ok, it's dark. It's crowded. You can't really see anything. When you can, it's like... a woman in a bathing suit, which you can see pictures of in the 10s of millions. Ta da! Was that really worth all that effort? No.
Talk about your "Come to Jesus moment."
"I went to Catholic grade school and they had stereotypical skirt uniforms for the girls "
My three girls all went to Catholic schools and all the girls wore shorts under their skirts.
Shoe camera is a thing. Enough people are interested in this that there is an industry to support it.
SMH.
Do Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? broadway play
The crazy Catholic nun story in my youth was that nuns told the girls not to wear shiny shoes lest it reflect their underwear. I don't know if it's a current story.
A strange, inchoate crime involving voyeuristic interruptus and premature emasculation.
Or the young man was homeless and hoping for three square meals and a roof over his head for a night.
@Althouse, I would have expected you to be the skeptical one.
Upskirt is a thing on Fox. Oiled legs. Othewise guys wouldn't watch.
Sort of a dull interest, but not as dull as listening.
Agree with Wilbur, he needs a new clergyman. It's not against the law to intend to commit a crime. You have to at least attempt to do it. Attaching a camera to your shoe in your own home is not nearly good enough.
A glass ceiling is a glass floor one flight up, and you'd get reflections. A woman should be cautious in her ambition.
Under a woman's skirt is a flood of pussy photons hitting the floor. She's the one sending them out.
The question of interference patterns comes up. The two slit experiment.
rhhardin said...
"The crazy Catholic nun story in my youth was that nuns told the girls not to wear shiny shoes lest it reflect their underwear. I don't know if it's a current story."
Yep, that's what the told my wife as well. If there was a question on length, the BVM's also had them kneel and if the skirt didn't touch the floor they had to go home and change. They "skirted" the issue by wearing longer skirts but then visiting the bathroom asap to roll up the waistbands.
Those bicycle seats aren't going to sniff themselves.
The guy is lying. He was really trying to look up a cassock.
I wonder if he turned in his x-ray glasses?
In Jr. Hi, some guys would tuck little mirrors in their shoe laces to get a glimpse of bush and early morning dew. Then feminism hit and girls were permitted to wear pants.
https://www.amazon.com/Original-X-ray-Spex-Amazing-Vision/dp/B001DBEARY
The battery exploded? Sue.
A nature photographer.
When I was much younger, women wore miniskirts. When they sat down on the subway, you sometimes got a flash of panties. You had to time your gaze just right so it didn't look like you were staring. If they thought you were staring, they timed the placement of their handbag so it blocked your view when they sat down.
Eroticism is unfocused and pervasive. People with fetishes really narrow it down. I wonder if this narrow focus makes sex more or less onerous.....An upskirt fetish seems reasonably achievable and inexpensive. Probably not the worst perversion to have. If Anthony Weiner was an upskirt perv, Hillary would be president today.
rhhardiun: "Upskirt is a thing on Fox. Oiled legs. Othewise guys wouldn't watch."
Same with ESPN. Stilletos and short skirts talking exit velocity.
I agree it is tacky as hell but should it be illegal?
Seems like we already have too many crimes.
John Henry
I always thank a woman that offers a peek. It is one of life's purest gifts. Thank you!
Look but don't touch is necessary but insufficient religious/moral guidance.
It is safe again for women to be feminine, and for everyone to appreciate the fairer sex... at a distance.
Not sporting a great deal of BDE, this one.
Ann Althouse said...
If everyone took religion that seriously, the police would be overwhelmed with the investigation of absurdly petty crime. As a taxpayer, I object.
The scenario you suggest would not occur. If everyone took religion that seriously, and their religions were positive influences on their lives, such as in this case, then the police would have plenty of time to handle these confessions of almost crimes, because they would have no actual crime to worry about.
On the other hand, if everyone took religion that seriously, but their religions were negative influences on their lives, then the police would be overwhelmed dealing with terrorist attacks, honor killings, and self-immolations.
Not all religions are equivalent.
I remember (vaguely) an old Red Skelton sketch from the 50's wherein he was dancing with the lady's singing a little ditty about mirrors on his shoes and then commenting on the lady's hair color.
Not all religions are equivalent.
Exactly. Religious/moral philosophy for self-moderating, responsible individuals, and competing interest to mitigate the risk of others running amuck.
Religious/moral philosophy describes a behavioral protocol. A protocol based on the moral axioms of individual dignity and intrinsic value is a necessary condition to realize an outcome that is internally, externally, and mutually consistent.
Stability is a necessary, but insufficient milestone, to advance the human condition, and has often been accompanied by extreme collateral damage (e.g. progressive leaps, national socialism ("Jew privilege"), social justice (e.g. elective wars, abortion fields, refugee crises, diversity).
Howard said...
Original-X-ray-Spex-Amazing-Vision
Those things can't even see thru underwear.
I read that a man was out with his robot sex toy and she said that another robot had become jealous and was stalking them. And the man said 'ridiculous' and continues raping it and then it emits a high pitched frequency that puts him off and zay pull away suddenly from an LA overlook up a canyon and when zay get home there's a prosthetic arm and hand holding on to the door.
Love the sentence in WaPo
“But before capturing any footage, the man decided to test out the camera at home.”
Wouldn't it be easier for him to just say he is transitioning and start hanging out in women's locker rooms?
Go and sin no more? You don't know about the connection betaeen peepers and violent sex predators?
I once worked with a police captain who took over the Atlanta Fulton Couty library system when the sheer quantity of loitering sex offenders had the librarians refusing to go alone into the stacks.
The captain called flashing and peeping "day jobs for rapists." DNA databasing bears this out.
“Footage” I see what you did there.
is it not as bad as putting a bomb in your underwear?
then again, there's Richard Reid. "Dick", they called him, and energetic.
Actually, go and sin no more applied to an adulterous woman, caught in the act about to be killed by an angry mob.
The parallels are striking. How often is our advice similarly merciful when the mob demands justice on one caught in the act of violating a real social norm?
What, this guy doesn't know how to run the pornograph (Google)? Or is this some kind of perv version of all natural or organic?
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