Publix has a computer system where the customer types in the words they want on a cake, and some bad words — including "cum" — are simply automatically censored. So this is just a hilarious screw-up by a company with a convenient but unsophisticated automatic system for getting writing onto cakes.
But what happens next? I think we should all laugh, and Publix should give the family some free cake and tweak its computer program so that "cum" is okay when it's followed by "laude" (though I'm capable of thinking of ways to get to the sexual use of "cum" in a phrase that follows "cum" with "laude").
But no. This is America, and there must be outrage.
Jacob was “absolutely humiliated,” [his mother Cara] Koscinski said to The Post. “It was unbelievable. I ordered the special graduation edition cake. I can’t believe I’m the first one to ever write 'Summa Cum Laude' on a cake." Koscinski said she then had to explain why the grocery store censored “cum” from Jacob’s cake to her 70-year-old mother.If the boy is so "humiliated," why go to the media and connect his name forever to sensitivity to "cum"?
Jacob didn’t eat much of the cake after that but his mother says the chocolate and vanilla cake was delicious.
Koscinski called Publix on Monday and explained the situation to the assistant manager. She said she doesn’t want this to happen to anyone else in the future. Publix offered to remake the cake. She declined.
“No,” she said, “you only graduate once.”
ADDED: I've got to front-page something I wrote in the comments:
Maybe the mother should have thought twice about putting "cum" on a cake....
Publix should say: You know, Ms. Koscinski, a cake really is better without cum on it. We really believe that here at Publix. What if some wag at your party thought to make a joke out of cutting a slice of cake so that just the word "cum" was on one piece? What if he'd served that to your 70-year-old mother and everyone was laughing and she didn't understand why and you had to explain that? Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered.
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105 comments:
Columnist David Frum's "No Labels" website originally had a filter that was so strict that it actually filtered out individual syllables of words.
It banned one of my posts because I used the word "circumvent."
"Magnum cum loudly"
Well, suppose it was a wedding cake, for two homosexuals. Wouldn't that make this a federal case?
Oh the fainting couch for the 70 year old mother...who would have been about 18 in 1966, and of course in the era of peace, free love, and LSD, she never would have heard the term "cum"...seriously the dumbest thing about this article. This lady infantilizes everyone she knows.
"Two or more", I suppose I should say.
Sir Cum Vent!
How smart could the kid be and still not be clever enough to have Mom just put “Summa” on the cake. He should be humiliated.
Maybe the mother should have thought twice about putting "cum" on a cake.
Some Come Loudly. -willie
You can’t have cum on your special graduation bukkake.
Publix should say: You know, Ms. Koscinski, a cake really is better without cum on it. We really believe that here at Publix. What if some wag at your party thought to make a joke out of cutting a slice of cake so that just the word "cum" was on one piece? What if he'd served that to your 70-year-old mother and everyone was laughing and she didn't understand why and you had to explain that? Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered.
"If the boy is so "humiliated," why go to the media and connect his name forever to sensitivity to "cum"?
How else is Mom going to get the maximum publicity of her son's achievement?
A moderately good automated word and phrase filtering system would never had committed this sort of erroneous censoring. The reaction from this mom and son though is more egregious. Ann Althouse describes what an adult would do in this situation, unfortunately they seem to be absent here.
-sw
My cake is missing the cum.
Ma’am, we mixed the cum in the special buttercream frosting you mentioned you enjoyed so much.
If the boy is so "humiliated," why go to the media and connect his name forever to sensitivity to "cum"?
She's getting the first 5 minute installment of her 15 minutes of fame.
So poor little Jacob was humiliated by a cake?
Sounds like he's going to make a great college prof.
Why didn't the mother check the cake before she bought it?
It’s a sticky situation.
This is the era of perpetual outrage.
If it wasn't this she would have to find something else.
Et cum spiritu tuo.
That's hilarious. Can't believe the people got mad. The situation makes for a better cake and a funny cake story.
Especially like the alternative response from Publix provided by Althouse.
"Why didn't the mother check the cake before she bought it?"
No kidding. I've purchased a number of cakes with writing over the years, and the cake people always make me check it before paying.
If it were for a girl named Summa.
And they wrote "Summa Cum Loudly,"
She'd never live it down.
For many people, being outraged is more pyscologically rewarding than laughing something off. Self satisfaction can be an addiction.
Not to plumb the depths of this cake debacle, but entymologically speaking I believe that "cum" was once called "scum" which lead proximately to the condom being called the "scumbag". And then, of course, "scumbag" became a general epithet for people we didn't like.
I refuse to google this though.
"How else is Mom going to get the maximum publicity of her son's achievement?"
Exactly. It's all about Mom, like any good graduation.
"Oh the fainting couch for the 70 year old mother...who would have been about 18 in 1966, and of course in the era of peace, free love, and LSD, she never would have heard the term "cum"...seriously the dumbest thing about this article. This lady infantilizes everyone she knows."
I know! I'm only 3 years short of 70, and someone portraying me as a little old lady who'd never heard of "cum" would really irk me.
Wait, he graduated summa cum laude from a "Christian-based home-school program"?!
Sounds suspicious.
As the Beatles once sung, maybe we should just cum together on this one.
Cake Politics! I never knew cake could cause so many issues.
All of these problems are solved when you bake and decorate the cake for your kid's celebrations.
Wish I had known about this several years ago, I would have maybe exploited it, except that graduating Summa Cum Laude was an intentional surprise aimed at my kid's poor, much put upon, parents. Or, at least this parent. Too young to become an orphan by giving this parent a heart attack. We had seen the kid earlier in their robes, with all the cords and geegaws around their neck, so was pretty sure they were supposed to graduate. And had been to the Phi Beta Kappa induction, so that should have meant something too. So, watching the kids graduate, one by one, in alphabetical order. Got down into the Gs, and got my camera ready. Started into the Hs, finished Ha, started He, and panicked. Kid wasn't listed in the list graduating. We are now down into the Js, and I am in full panic mode. Then my sister-in-law, sitting next to me, kindly pointed out that our kid was listed in the Summas, who were listed first, but graduated last. Turns out, the kid made the cut a week before graduation. They were one out going into the last semester, but some guy fell off then, and my kid got their slot. And the school let us get up close for photos, when they eventually got their diploma, which was a nice benefit of being a "summa parent". Luckily, my heart had slowed down by then so I got some decent shots.
I would put the missing "cum" up there with our plan a couple weeks ago to show up in white hoods to my kid's "hooding" a couple years ago. Something that you can go through life regretting. Almost. Except that we might not have survived wearing the white hoods, because the "hooding" was in the PRB (People's Republic of Boulder), one of the most illiberal places in the country. Luckily, the friend I was going to do it with had to cancel due to family health issues.
"But no. This is America, and there must be outrage."
Please don't label this crap as "America." It never used to be that way, isn't for many/most of us.
Was that cake personally delivered by Publix and presented under a cloche, or was the whole four years wasted?
The cry of "I was humiliated" is loud across the land. Everyone seems in a constant quest to preserve their honor, like musketeers in seventeenth-century France.
Whenever I read the word now I question whether they might have, instead, been "humbled," which has the same origin meaning "brought down to earth."
Humiliated is an honor word, however. It means that one feels that one has been treated with disrespect and must now act out to restore the world's opinion that one actually deserves respect. Musketeers fought duels. We fight lawsuits or post cell phone videos.
O, Fac!
Unknown beat me to it. Kids today are too easily humiliated. Takes all the fun out of it.
I'm glad.
I tire of parents being overly ostentatious about their children's scholastic successes. I have friends posting their children's COLLEGE report cards on Facebook. I actually had one friend mention her what her 27 year old's boss in a large corporation said to praise her.
The difference between an A.B. a B.A. is an ignorance of Latin.
I made the dean's list once.
Sorry - the "hooding" was a week and a half ago, and not a couple years ago. Finally found what is worse than being stuck out in the hot CO sun, without a cloud in the sky, for a graduation, and that is being stuck in the second balcony of a building built in the late 1800s, that didn't have adequate AC. Or maybe any AC at all, with thousands of others generating CO2. The department was doing their own graduation, instead of joining the rest of the university in their massive football stadium under the completely blue CO sun. Luckily the PhD candidates went first, and I rushed down 4 flights of stairs to get a photo in the lobby, right after the hooding, and just never made it back up those 4 flights of stairs to my stuffy seat in the 2nd balcony (didn't want to disturb anyone, of course), but instead, spent the rest of the ceremony sharing a nice park bench outside in shade with some nursing mothers, blogging on Althouse, etc. on my iPad.
"I tire of parents being overly ostentatious about their children's scholastic successes. I have friends posting their children's COLLEGE report cards on Facebook. I actually had one friend mention her what her 27 year old's boss in a large corporation said to praise..."
Sorry. Obviously the major culprit here.
For a while, I lived out in the country just southwest of Des Moines. We were pretty much associated with the suburb of West Des Moines (school system, road schemes, commercial activities, etc.). Technically though, our little rural subdivision had a mailing address of "Cumming," IA. That was where the still functional legacy post office that served us was. Everyone just winced when we had to give out our mailing address.
Last time I was out there, a little micro-distillery was making a few bucks o the side selling chotchkies with a play on words that I'm sure you can imagine.
And had been to the Phi Beta Kappa induction,
Phi Kappa Phi for science.
Minutiae that only a few of us are interested in.
A nice piece of cake should always get a layer of frosting.
would really irk me
Garner your ire?
Sadly, this ignorant error is the least among many that each and every one of us sees every day of our lives.
The last baccalaureate (a big word; you could look it up) in the family was summa AND PBK. Just as well we went to a steakhouse to celebrate instead of buying a cake. Those Greek letters are killers.
Why do they need an algorithm to censor writing on a cake? Are they hiring idiots to decorate them? Couldn't the person with the frosting be trusted to know whether summa cum laude is appropriate or inappropriate for a graduation cake? Have we dumbed every job down this far?
There used to be a Balling Motel in town. Family name, pronounced "Bailing", not that it mattered...
This was never a problem when the smart kids were forced to take Latin.
Something like this happened years ago when online resume systems refused to forward resumes with “magma cum laude,” “summa cum laude,” and anything else including the word “cum.” I’m startled, and have a very negative opinion of Publix, that they reintroduced a well-known bug.
As why he would make a fuss, two reasons. First, college students these days are conditioned to make a fuss about nearly everything (c.f., Halloween costumes at Yale). But more importantly, he gets free advertising in the Washington Post that he graduated summa. Right out there for potential hiring managers to contemplate. I’d say he’s pretty bright, wouldn’t you?
Big Mike: best Kilauea headline ever.
In Arkansas, folks Kum & Go.
I'm only 3 years short of 70, and someone portraying me as a little old lady who'd never heard of "cum" would really irk me.
@Althouse, keep in mind that you grew up in a house with the latest issue of Playboy on the coffee table.
Humiliated? My teenagers would find it hilarious.
Hahahahaha, Bruce Hayden!!!
Publix: "Where shopping is a pleasure."
And it is. An excellent supermarket chain; wherever they have a store, it does well.
I was raised in a very religious home and am still very religious and would have had no problem telling my 70 something year old mother what the fuss was about. "Mother, it's what the kids these days call ejaculation fluid." Seriously, we've all had sex here, let's move along please. I suspect that even my mother knows what cum is though.
My application to list my nursery selling butterfly plants was rejected by a garden web site because of the butt in butterfly.
Celebratory cakes are for the very young or the very old.
When I graduated my folks just took me to Steak & Ale.
"connect his name forever to sensitivity to "cum"?"
I thought all our names, and all of us, were thus connected.
I suppose words have different meanings for different people. I think in the UK fanny mean referes to a woman's genitalia. (By woman's genitalia I am excluding the genitalia of transwomen.) Whereas here in America if it has a meaning it generally means buttocks. I also think it has a connotation of a child's buttocks. I remember my Grandmother threatening to spank me on my fanny if I misbehaved. Imagine the shock to a Brit to hear that story.
Doesn't every home-schooled kid graduate at the top of his class by definition?
My mom would've asked for Summa Com Laude and frosted over the top of the "O". But it was to spare her this kind of problem I never graduated Summa from high school, college or law school. I could've easily. But ir was a sacrifice I made, for Mom.
Cake Wrecks and Starbucks? Where's your American Idol recap? That's what I really wanted to see your reaction to this morning (largely because I've mostly agreed with you about the show). But now I'm not sure you've seen it and don't want to post a spoiler.
If I knew you were cumming, I would have baked a cake.
If I were cutting a cake with the word cum on it, I guarantee I would make sure I got the most mileage possible out it.
Cum isn't a dirty word on any of is meanings, but the mother's reaction is absurd.
How difficult would it be for Publix's website to tell her prematurely that the word was rejected?
I was a Magnum, I mean, Magna.
Years ago, I said "blow job" in front of my parents and 85 yo grandmother when I meant "blow dry." One of them asked what it was while I hardened into pink stone.
"69 comments"
Seems appropriate.
@Teller: LOL!
Publix: "Where shopping is a pleasure."
They're just making sure there's not too much pleasure going on in the bakery department.
"You know, Ms. Koscinski, a cake really is better without cum on it. We really believe that here at Publix. What if some wag at your party thought to make a joke out of cutting a slice of cake so that just the word "cum" was on one piece? What if he'd served that to your 70-year-old mother and everyone was laughing and she didn't understand why and you had to explain that? Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered."
They did him a favor. That's the ticket!
You know, Mr. Trump, an election really is better without Russian interference. We really believe that here at the Obama DOJ/FBI/CIA/NSA. What if some low-level advisor on your campaign thought to make a joke out of Hillary's emails so that just the word "reset" was left? What if he'd said that to your 70-year-old mother and everyone was laughing and she didn't understand why and you had to explain that? Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered."
I hate people who cum loud...
HAHAHA!
Had a graduation party for my son this weekend. He will be going to the University of Cincinnati...... the decorator spelled “Cincinnati” incorrectly on the cake. We just laughed about it. Didn’t know we had a case against the baker....
One of them[my parents] asked what it was while I hardened into pink stone.
That’s sicker than the front page of PornHub!
Anybody who has ever been in a Publix, BTW, knows it’s a great store.
Has some enterprising porn producer come up with a naughty spoof on The Graduate with a female star named, "Summer CumLoudly"?
It should happen.
If your traveling west, Cumming, Iowa would naturally follow Intercourse, Pennsylvania (you'd have to last a long time in the driver's seat, though).
Uh oh, the brain wheels begin turning. The Iron Butt Association IBA certifies distance motorcycle rides. Their most basic ride is a Saddle Sore 1000. That's 1000 miles in under 24 hours. You can submit your own ride plan for consideration.
As luck would have it Intercourse, PA to Cumming Iowa is just over 1,000 miles.
Wonder if the IBA would issue a special certification for this? What would the ride be named? Wonder what I could get them to agree would be appropriate art work?
Hey, the worst they could do is say no.....
Why do they need an algorithm to censor writing on a cake? Are they hiring idiots to decorate them? Couldn't the person with the frosting be trusted to know whether summa cum laude is appropriate or inappropriate for a graduation cake? Have we dumbed every job down this far?
Have you SEEN the Rhodes scholars they are hiring in supermarket bakeries these days?
Amusing unimportant software glitch blown out of proportion. I bet though the word “smegma” would pass their filter.
Tim,
Publix is a smaller chain, but they're spunky.
tcrosse said...
Et cum spiritu tuo.
After I said "Dominus vobisCUM ....
I wonder if Althouse has used smegma. The word.
I've gone limp coming up with stupid puns, or is it the treecum?
Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered.
Written like a true Clapper
A long time ago, The Running Board BBS (in New York) installed an obscene word locker.
It had to be taken down after blocking the nickname for Richard.
As the Beatles once sung, maybe we should just cum together on this one.
or dexies midnight runners, who asked us all to: Cum on Ilene
And yet, every Christmas, we sing "O Come All Ye Faithful" and nobody smirks. Is it because we all know that the original Latin was "Adeste Fidelis"?
" he gets free advertising in the Washington Post that he graduated summa. Right out there for potential hiring managers to contemplate. I’d say he’s pretty bright, wouldn’t you?"
And that he's lawsuit-happy.
Also, that he is the sort of obnoxious future co-worker who pretends to be embarrassed at something that is actually a humblebrag.
Yeah, just what you want on the internet forever.
Come to the churh in the wildwood, the little brown church in the vale
Oh come come come come
Lenny Bruce once did a riff about the word "come," delving into every possibility of "come with me" and so forth that he could imagine. I took Latin in high school, then worked in the medical world for a few years, and back then doctors commonly used "/c" (short for "cum") on charts as shorthand for "with." One saw it constantly.
They're in the Daily Mail, too.
The cake is only 3/4". Sounds like a vehicle for icing, which from the family photos, none of them needs.
My mother and sister both went to an Episcopal camp for girls called Vade Mecum, which can be translated as "go with me," but I believe they told them meant "come with me."
A 70 year old woman would have been a teenager in the middle of the 1960s. Are we expected to believe that someone who was young in the that decade needs to have the definition of cum explained to them?
Thanks, Ralph L, for the link to the Daily Mail story.
If you go there, you'll see that, when she ordered the cake online, she actually bleeped the word herself -- with three dashes -- in the part of the form for the message, apparently because the online form was giving her an error message.
She then explained, in the "Special Instructions" part of the form that she really wanted "summa cum laude." However, her instructions were very terse and telegraphic.
Bottom line, what *could* have happened is that a Publix employee used *exactly the message that she typed* and simply failed to read or understand the Special Instructions.
P.S. It's very fishy that she just happens to have taken a photo of the online form when she filled it out. Did she already intend to complain?
In the Special Instructions, she asked for navy blue letters instead of the light blue option on the form, but she got light blue anyway. Looking more and more like like someone didn't read the Special Instructions.
"This is America, and there must be outrage."
Should be a motto for a news channel.
William said...A 70 year old woman would have been a teenager in the middle of the 1960s. Are we expected to believe that someone who was young in the that decade needs to have the definition of cum explained to them?
--
William intones "Oh cum on now"
Quiet Riot screamed Cum on feel the noize.
How ironic that Althouse's over-the-hill right-wing trolls are making jokes about semen when they can even get it up. Pathetic as usual.
"when they can even get it up"
And you can't even type your thoughts.
Shame on you Publix for turning an innocent Latin phrase into a total embarrassment for having to explain to my son and others
This is what happens when you put your children in a Christian home-schooling program--they don't learn the necessary vulgarities.
Looks like she could have submitted "com" and pulled off a bit of icing.
"Absolutely humiliated"
Perfectly reasonable response.
Also, no "bodily fluids" or "semen" tag? I feel like there's a reasonable number of posts that include this subject...
Thank you Publix Markets - "....Really, we protected you from some consequences you might not have considered....?"
Now I'm going to have to thank that DNI Einstein - "...Clapper: FBI Was Protecting Trump Campaign, Not Spying...."
Who buys a customer decorated cake and doesn't check it in the store?
Is is possible the mother is one in the wrong here?
“Comes now Defendant _____, in the above-styled and numbered cause and would respectfully show the Court as follows:”
Legend has it the most senior partner at my old firm gave a baby lawyer the business after he read the newby’s draft pleading. “Son, don’t ever come in court. It’s most unbecoming.”
"Exactly. It's all about Mom, like any good graduation." Exactly what I thought, Ann. The mom's humble brag. Maybe that's why her son was embarrassed, that and her calling attention to the word "cum."
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