... my story feels different than the narrative advanced by our patriarchal society.This one individual deserves to have his personal story told in the NYT because in general people have a stereotype that the man is the one who wants sex all the time and it's women with the lack-of-interest limitation. That's such an awful basis for betrayal. It elevates stereotypes over real individuals.
Back in 2003, I was home with two premature infants, both on oxygen and attached to monitors that constantly chirped with alarms. Had even Ryan Reynolds — circa “The Proposal,” not “Deadpool” — shown up, he would have needed to display expertise in changing diapers and managing the regulator on an oxygen tank to interest me.I'm confused. Who is this man you're talking about? Is he the father of the 2 premature infants? Does everyone who knows you know who he is?
Looking back on my relationship, the frequency of sex dropped off quickly. I told myself it would get better because there were other positives. I falsely assumed that men have higher libidos, so clearly this was temporary....
I was embarrassed when my attempts at rekindling the magic — things like sleeping naked or trying to schedule date night sex — fell flat. I started to circuitously ask friends if they ever felt similarly rejected.Did you ask him?
Eventually I decided that sympathy sex once or twice a year was far worse than no sex. I worried that no intervention would be sustainable, and the time not addressing the issue had simply taken its toll. We were terribly mismatched sexually, and it wasn’t something that he was interested in addressing.So you asked him? What was that like? I'd like to hear his side. I can't believe you're exposing him like this in the NYT. Were you this cold to him when you were experiencing the coldness from him?
My experience led me to listen differently to women speaking about their sex lives with men, whether in my office or in my personal life. There are spaces between words that tell entire stories.Oh, here we go. Women telling their stories. If enough women tell their stories, then maybe someday, the old stereotype — men as sex machines — will be demolished....
Many tell me intimate details, so glad to have someone in whom they can confide....In the old days, that was called gossiping, and it was considered wrong. Then came consciousness-raising sessions and, later, telling your stories about all the sexual things.
I want women to know that if they are on the wanting end for sex, they are not alone.You could have said that, made that bond, without betraying the man — was he the father? — who lived through the time of premature babies with you.
Sexuality and relationships are complex, and there are no easy answers. It’s not good or bad to have a high, a medium or a low libido. You like what you like, but if you don’t speak up about what you want, you can’t expect the other person to know.Wait. There are some easy answers. Don't, without consent, reveal what you have learned through intimacy unless there's some very specific justification, and adding one data point to contradict a stereotype is not good enough.
ADDED: I'm not surprised to see that the NYT has disallowed comments on this one.
AND: It's not okay for a woman to disparage a man for choosing not to have sex when she wanted sex, just as it's not okay for a man to disparage a woman for choosing not to have sex. Gunter says that she got in bed naked and also "schedule[d] date night sex," but the man did not provide sex. Imagine a man telling a similar tale about a woman: I scheduled a night for sex and I got in bed naked, but she didn't give me sex. What would people say? Who the hell does this guy think he is?! At best! I could imagine him getting denounced in full-on #MeToo mode.
Posts
193 comments:
What the hell does any of that have to do with patriarchy?
What the hell does any of that have to do with patriarchy?
Sexless zip.
I got a narrative advanced by our patriarchal society right here hangin'.
Maybe he was just fucking somebody else.
This deserves the panspermia avatar.
But breaching the privacy of an intimate relationship seemed worth doing to gynecologist Jen Gunter (writing in the NYT), because it was the male who (from her perspective) lacked interest in having sex.
Because victimhood status is far, far more important that personal privacy.
How nice that her children can read this.
What a selfish woman.
Blogger Bob Boyd said...
Maybe he was just fucking somebody else.
Or his boyfriend wouldn't permit the competition ...
Some personalities can overpower the strongest libido.
I think this is part of what is considered a betrayal of #MeToo.
Not speaking of the rape, but the guys like Aziz Ansari. The 'intimacies' of a date were violated and cruelly so. Men (and women) have long been uncomfortable with the other 'discussing' such things with their friends.
Now they can post it on the internet. Whee!
I haven't read the article (NYT) I hope he divorced her. Heck, I hope her circle of friends can identify her and think badly of her.
I have asked myself,in this metoo moment, what is the analogous tendency in women to man’s lust which, when allowed to run to excess, becomes harmful and indecent? My answer was gossip.
Ladies, Ladies it's not that your man doesn't want to have sex; he just doesn't want it with You
Or as Bob Boyd says: he's just not Having it with you
This is a dangerous article.The Feminists must be bored with winning. On the sly, they are discussing the advantage for women of having an aggressive, potent, intimacy loving, and emotionally intelligent man to share life with. And that is what we call traditional, exclusive and heterosexual marriage. But that is what is usually slandered as Christian bigots being the enemy of population birth control.
If revenge is a dish best served cold. it doesn't get any colder than this.
It clearly should have been written anonymously. Beyond that, because women don’t have a cultural stereotype with which to categorize their experience in this realm, I think it is helpful to be able to learn that others struggle here too.
He was squicked by her Cesarean scar and too embarrassed by his repulsion to tell her.
That's my guess.
Or maybe the kids weren't his and his feelings of betrayal overwhelmed his libido.
Do we really have a patriarchal society? It’s hard to tell sometimes.
I used to follow Dr. Gunter on Twitter because of her work exposing "alternative medicine." I had to stop following her because she wouldn't shut up about her stupid politics. She may be very smart, but she's not very wise.
Maybe it's a plutonic relationship, one of them is rich.
100% agree with your reactions. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Ugh.
America needs to realize that many of the writers at the NYT are whack jobs. And so are some of its readers. They cater to their own sicknesses.
Just look at the story in the Guardian in which the former executive editor of the NYT, Jill Abramson, freely admits she carries an Obama doll in her purse.
Message to the NYT and its readers: The rest of the country just laughs at you.
Spitballing through NY Times angles here. Feel free to add/amend. Someone needs to write a workflow:
-Race angle: So many combinations here (Black, White, Pacific Islander etc). Root causes-Patriarchy, Slavery, White Guilt, White Ignorance. Solutions-Conversations, Awareness, Wokeness, Knowledge of how the world REALLY is through emotional declarations of empathy and narration of the Self. Political activism a plus. Truth to Power.
-Gender Angle: Man’s Fault. Men as an identity group. Root causes-Patriarchy, Male Aggression, Male ignorance, Systemic and traditional or religious Oppression. Solutions-Conversations, Knowledge of how the world really is through emotional declarations of empathy and narration/revelation of the Self. Girl Power.
And Medicalization For All: Sexophobia, Libido Syndrome, Mental illness. One or both is gay (see gender, liberation, victimhood). Some appeal to brain scans/pop neuroscience etc. or the medical sciences (Build out the modern epistemologies by proxy writing in long form journalism. Knowledge is general and obvious and Modern Society will be built. Too many Yale English majors ).
Postmodern angle: we can’t know much anyways, maybe nothing. These poor bodies juxtaposed in space and time are pressed against the void. Fuck progress. Fuck all systems. It’s all sweet and horrifying despair. Objective knowledge is not possible. Please read this.
Political angle: Trump!
***
That’s what I got so far...come on, people.
Blogger Bob Boyd said...
Maybe he was just fucking somebody else.
"How come I can never tell when you have an orgasm? Because you are never there."
Fake Drudge headline points to this fake UK headline:
Scientists warn of mysterious and deadly new epidemic called Disease X that could kill millions around the world
"An unknown and deadly new illness dubbed Disease X has been added to the list of potential global epidemics that could potentially kills millions."
"Disease X could be as dangerous as Zika,"
Scariest of all, there's a photomicrograph with an arrow pointing to a blob.
"And unlike the other pathogens, it is not known what causes Disease X or how doctors could try to treat it."
That's because...the horrible "Disease X" is imaginary.
"I can't believe you're exposing him like this in the NYT." I can't believe you're going back to I can't believe. I believed you were done with that trope.
"Oh, here we go. Women telling their stories." Corollary to the Althouse Law. Even sexlessness must now be presented to favor the woman, whether she's the complainant or the cause.
Cuz patriarchy.
Her quills couldn't be made to lie flat.
Economic angle-it’s not race/gender/medical/postmodern despair...its class. Some warmed over Marxism. This is unfair therefore it must be made Fair. Fixed economic pie. Late capitalism. Fat cats. 1%. If inequality Then equality through top down/centralized planning. Technocracy. Rationalism and rational design can be extended to social planning and proper redistribution of wealth.
Equality is next. Liberation ‘from’ is often the means
Sexuality and relationships are complex, and there are no easy answers.
For FullMoon (AKA FullCuck) they are not.
His wife is responsible for anything he has in life.
She's about to divorce him and take all the houses she bought with her, as well as all the guys she's been banging while he hangs out on the internet glomming off of her riches like the grifter he is. But it's ok. As soon as she gives him that signature roll of her eyes he'll fall in love again - no matter how far she's run from him - and all will be forgiven. He really is the cuckiess -- I mean, luckiest - of full cucks.
Maybe she just didn't turn him on. It doesn't sound like she knew how.
It just may be that Dr. Gunter, Medicine Woman, contributes to the problem.
Haha!
Living rent free in Useless head
Like he lives rent free with mom and Dad
Still urinating in his childhood bed
No skills, no talent, no degree. SAD!
This seems to be of-a-piece with the rest of the bad-sex stories we've seen over the past few months. Why, a suspicious person might think there's some sort of agenda at work here.
She could have taken a much younger lover. Young dudes are always in the mood.
These stories are aimed at the Althouse demographic.
Mission accomplished.
They should be put in separate rooms until they can reconcile their differences. We expect it of children, we should expect adults to have developed this basic social skill.
Almost nothing in the NYT, PBS, etc. is aimed at the RcOcean demographic.
I.e. Straight white males who aren't Jewish.
You got a million stories in the Naked City.
This is one of them.
Sexless is an odd word. Genderless would be odder, but she is complaining about a gender problem -- her partner wasn't playing the social/psychological role he was supposed to play.
So in order to fight patriarchy she has to call out the person that didn't conform to it.
rcocean said... You got a million stories in the Naked City. This is one of them.
LOLOLOL. That's an absolutely perfect skewering.
This isn’t difficult at all. The type of toxic, grotesquely self-obsessed, person who emotes in the pages of the NYT is exactly the type of personality that would kill all sexual attraction in any one who actually knows her. As has often been observed, no matter how hot she is, there is someone, somewhere, who is sick of her shit. Of course, this same type of person will never have the self-awareness to realize they’re at fault.
She's a gynecologist. Maybe she talked too much about her work with the hubby.
That would dampen any males appetite.
My relationship My Limoges
Was he getting it somewhere else?
I get that having children, and especially two premie babies, is going to put a very big strain on a relationship. It can certainly put a damper on sex drive when the parents are so stressed out. This is NORMAL!!
HOWEVER, her tales of woe are all about her. I get this me, Me, ME!!!! vibe and nothing about how her partner is feeling.
How does he feel? Does she ask? Does she see that perhaps he too is stressed and worn to a nub with being responsible for two fragile new humans? The pressure of trying to provide? Does she even care what stresses he may be facing? His fears? His insecurities?
Instead she treats him as a living sex toy that she should be able to 'turn on' when she wants. She would rather expose him to her friends criticism. What a cold self absorbed woman she is.
If the roles were reversed and she was the one being expected to perform on demand and the article was written by her partner exposing her lack of sexual appetite, what do we think the reaction would be? (rhetorical as we know that the man would be vilified and crucified in public)
@DustBunnyQueen - that was my thought after reading the essay, too. Did she ever put her own needs aside to wonder about his needs? Was he depressed because he had two fragile newborn babies to worry about? Parenthood is a big change for men, too, after all.
E.M. Forster, updated:
“If I had to choose between betraying my coterie and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my friend.”
* * *
The original quote is obviously a gross simplification. What if your friend deserved to be betrayed? Like, what if you were friends with Squeaky Fromme or Jack the Ripper?
But this post about sexuality and betrayal prompts me to read the quote a little differently than I have in the past. As a closeted gay man, Forster may well have understood exactly how appalling it could be for a country -- the law -- to ask you to betray a friend.
Love and loyalty to an individual can run counter to the claims of the State. When they do - down with the State, say I, which means that the State would down me.
We live in an age where the elites are always ready to say down with the State. The problem is that they hate the individual even more. They are always ready to sacrifice the individual to a cause.
Which leads me back to Forster. His famous quote is precede by a clause that never makes it into the quote books:
I hate the idea of causes,
and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
I hear feminists talking about their "patriarchial overlords."
It should not be plural. There is only one patriarchial overlord, and that is me.
So the little wife really is taking her houses back then, FullCuck?
Damn.
Ugh, I hate this preaching about 'the' narrative. For me it conjures up an image of loudspeakers all over the US, broadcasting an incessant message over and over. Does she not have internet? There are many narratives. There are many points of view. If you only hear one narrative, you are not listening.
RE: no comments allowed on the article. Seattle Times does that a lot with any female themed news, confirming the view that "women's issues" can't stand the scrutiny or women need to be treated with kid gloves.
He's just not that into her.
That's why he doesn't want to put it into her.
This is normal.
The perfect illustration was when David Justice kicked a young and luscious Hallee Berry out of his bed.
Show me a beautiful woman and I will show you a guy who is tired of fucking her.
In my experience, and in the experiences of friends, the number one libido-killer among straight men is women being harpies, nags and bitches. I've read that the main reason men "stray" is that the Other Woman is not necessarily prettier or sexier, but helps the man feel better about himself. It would be interesting if some of these men not currently feeling amorous toward their partners met more supportive and less critical women. I suspect that, barring physiological problems, the libido will be reborn.
Depression can also short-circuit libido; but maybe the men are depressed about what narcissistic bitches they're saddled with.
Such a sad and pathetic person it is that needs to share such a personal story publicly.
-sw
Googling I see she was pregnant with triplets. One was born severely premature and died soon after. She managed to carry the other two for three more weeks, but their birth was still three months early, which meant incubators and a series of procedures to correct various preemie problems. Her article glosses over the trauma of this experience and the effect it had on her partner.
If you thought the patriarchal society sucked, behold the matriarchal one developing.
1. Why does everything have to be public?
2. There are too many people who fancy themselves writers. Myself included.
3. Women are more obsessed with sex than men.
Speaking of snakes, a garden snake that was hanging about the house before the onset of winter has reappeared with a beautiful, shiny new coat and a notable increase in size. I suspect it has moulted.
So basiclly this is the plot of "This Is Us" with douche bags?
I do wish more women would express the attitude shown here by Althouse. It's really rare. In fact, I only see it on the internet by people like Helen Smith, Paglia, and a few others, mostly on the right. In my own life, I don't think a single woman I know would see this as abusive by her, even though it clearly is. When I bring up the subject of men in any victim-hood way, I get laughed at and dismissed, proving my point, but only to me.
I wonder if this is a prop to argue for the normalization of sex surrogates or polygamy. Notice that the couple did not Plan their children, a human rights orientation that should be normalized, and the NYT, a known Pro-Choice preacher, is exploiting to give credibility to another narrative. Maybe I am too cynical; but, whether it is #MeToo and influencing the election, or something else, they always have an ulterior motive.
I am not sure what the point of this article was. Was it to suggest that when this happens it is somewhat normal and the phenomenon, especially when the poor wife is under-served, does not get enough attention? Because I think what she is describing is freakishly abnormal unless she is deliberately omitting key facts (the gay theory that's popular above; or maybe the husband was 45 years older; or maybe she gained and failed to lose 70+ pounds).
"3. Women are more obsessed with sex than men."
1) All the podcasts I know of dedicated to sex are by women.
2) Most magazine and newspaper articles and about sexuality are by women.
3) Men hardly ever discuss sex among themselves in any serious or specific way.
4) I imagine that women do much more than men: more often, more specific, more serious.
I'm not surprised to see that the NYT has disallowed comments on this one.
Haha. That's the NYT for you. Some good stuff. Some pretty stuff. Some interesting stuff. And then a whole lot of stupid agenda-pushing here and there for the sake of shoving down the throats of the people whatever undemocratic, unvetted, unscientific, amoral crap they're into at the moment. Hillary Clinton WILL be president, no ifs ands or buts! Women should NEVER take responsibility for anything in their relationships or sex lives!
(insert additional NYT random irrational and unpopular agenda here).
1) All the podcasts I know of dedicated to sex are by women.
2) Most magazine and newspaper articles and about sexuality are by women.
That's because they have ISSUES about sex!
They can't just enjoy having it. As I've said before, for women sex is a political act - especially in America. Who are they doing it with, how did it advance their personal/material goals, what did they "get" out of it apart from hopefully some endorphins, (although oxytocin is ok because that means they "used" it to bond more with the person they actually might have wanted to like anyway), etc., etc., etc.
For women having sex is like running for office. It's a way of making a statement. And not infrequently also about achieving aims/advancing power. These are the consequences of having to be excessively strategic about the "meaning" of who you do it with.
Virgin Useless Toothless
They can't just enjoy having it. As I've said before, for women sex is a political act - especially in America.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Useless in a sexless relationship=with himself... handjobs only
No degree
No responsibilities
No money
No success
No women
No friends
No talent
No skill
No imagination
No courage
Small, unattractive, alone and lonely
Although all that having been said, if a woman LOVES you then she probably will enjoy the sex. Although for me this created a nagging chicken and egg dilemma. Did she love me because the sex was good or did she enjoy the sex because she loved me? Oh well, they're probably one and the same. One thing that tends to hold across genders though is that attraction tends to be closely aligned with turn ons, and as long as you're attracted to and turned on by someone you're with, you probably will fall in love with them. Occasionally though this creates relational conflicts with both women and men whereby they sleep with someone they were either turned on by or attracted to, while discovering that the other part didn't materialize. (Attraction or lust). Immediately the libido and amygdala send warning signals to each other telling the person to get away from that lover right away or their brain will blow up. Or if they're sleazier about it become "bed buddies." But attraction will usually win out in the end. It's when you lust for someone that you then realize you weren't really attracted to that the earlier problems arise. Losing lust for someone you were attracted to just occurs naturally sooner or later and seems to become the general dilemma for long-term couples anyway.
Only one word comes to mind after reading this: vasectomy. Get one for yourself and one for your dog. The nexus between sex and reproduction must be broken once and for all. Billy Graham be damned.
Virgin Expert on Women lied:
The Toothless Revolutionary said...
Although all that having been said, if a woman LOVES you then she probably will enjoy the sex. Although for me this created a nagging chicken and egg dilemma. Did she love me because the sex was good or did she enjoy the sex because she loved me?
Hahahahahahahaha !! OMG,, Yeah, that happened. Sure, OK hahahahaha!
Right on bro hahahahaha
Toothless Lover name
Palm-ella
haha!
Small, unattractive, alone and lonely
Gee FullCuck - unlike you I've never had a woman roll her eyes at me. What's that like?
I was responding to Bags' observation. I think he's had more experiences than you and doesn't feel the need to pretend that they're all he cares about. But that's because he's a grown up (some of the time) and follows his own interests.
You just live in a house that some woman who doesn't like you bought and you cling to her for dear life because of that! (Or at least until she leaves and takes the house).
I also notice how often you regurgitate the same comment. Are women (or just people in general) drawn to your lack of creativity?
Althouse extra catty because the pussy doc is a semi-celebrity , writer and bloggress of some stature. The crabs pull their escaping mates back into the pot.
She's a critic of Shaman-Healer Kennith Paltrow
Wiki
Explains how the OB/GYN dominance of women is a sign that the patriarchy still rules the world, which sounds like good news to me... hopefully it will cheer up you cucks who think grilz rulz.
Blog
"As I've said before, for women sex is a political act - especially in America."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't see what's so funny. I said they focus more on who they're doing it with and for what reason.
Surely if you've ever had sex with more than two women you would have realized that this is true.
Or is your current one with you in spite of you not having nothing to offer as a person and the relationship not doing anything for her?
I guess that would explain the eye rolling.
Think of it. You literally said that women don't care who they're with or why. Think about what that says about you and who's with you now.
Red Pill Masturbater The Toothless Revolutionary said...
Although all that having been said, if a woman LOVES you then she probably will enjoy the sex. Although for me this created a nagging chicken and egg dilemma. Did she love me because the sex was good or did she enjoy the sex because she loved me?
Did she dump you because the sex was bad, or did she dump you because of your personality?
LOL. There never was a "she".Haha! What a phoney.
Don't forget, no comments tonight, you have a "hot threesome " with "non American women"-Palm-ella and Vaseline-a
Such a sad and pathetic person it is that needs to share such a personal story publicly.
Yep.
If this bitch would stop her yapping and learn how to make a sandwich she might get fucked more than once a year.
Ritmo! RITMO!!! Open this door!
Just a minute, Mom, I'm almost there
LOL
Palm-ella and Vaseline-a
I see you feel you expose yourself less by offering these expertises of yours than when going on about the "eye rolling" you receive from the woman you've been grifting off of for a house.
Did she dump you because the sex was bad, or did she dump you because of your personality?
Did I say I was dumped?
You really are a shitty reader. Make a lot of stuff up. Again, this was all because you disagreed with my saying that women care about who they sleep with and why. Again, what does that disagreement of yours say about you? You're sort of proving your own point by turning against yourself.
FullCuck said:
Open this door!
Just a minute, Mom, I'm almost there
People write what they know, apparently. Very true.
Well last night FullCuck detailed for everyone how much he knows about porn by going on about "ATM" so I suppose no one should be surprised that this morning he will have no shortage of details surrounding his extensive knowledge of masturbation to "entertain" us with.
It's literally like listening to someone in the sixth grade.
"Libido can be affected by a number of things, including depression, medication, stress, health, affairs, previous sexual trauma, pornography, pain with sex and relationship dissatisfaction (having sex while going through an ugly divorce is probably an outlier).
Erectile dysfunction is a factor for some men, especially over the age of 40. Other men may have low testosterone (although there is a lot of dispute in this area). There is also the possibility that one partner in a heterosexual relationship is gay."
--
"It's not me..it's him."
https://www.statnews.com/2017/08/04/jen-gunter-goop-profile/:
She regularly takes on far more controversial topics in posts that sometimes lack proper punctuation but always crackle with passion. She has defended women’s right to terminate pregnancies because of the fetus’s gender, blasted a college class that pushed anti-vaccine propaganda, and has written frankly of her own struggles with binge eating disorder and her anger at the media’s promotion of unrealistic body images.
<
Fourteen years ago, pregnant with triplets, Gunter went into labor just shy of 23 weeks — a little over halfway through a healthy pregnancy. Doctors worked to hold off delivery, but the first of her sons was born three days later. He died within minutes.
Except if the husband is really turned off by the woman or is really exhausted, it is pretty easy for her to initiate sex: just start with a blow job. A man is almost incapable of resisting that. There is a tendency for women to want the man to initiate sex and here "sleeping naked" move seems like that: she is naked but still expects him to initiate. It is possible he was suffering from impotence due to stress or worry: and now it is all over the NYT. Great job with the empathy lady.
sounds like a real cool gal. no wonder the man wasn't interested.
Doc Gash has nothing on the TTR and FullMoon reveal. It will only stop once they meet IRL and Fuck. Get a room, girls
Imaginary Lothario Toothless
Did I say I was dumped?
No? Oh my bad. You dumped her? You are still together?
Sneak her in after mom and pop go to sleep. Ravish her on the upper bunk of your childhood set with the wagon wheel headboard?
You rock gummy.
What a fake. No experience with women and it is obvious.
LOL!
And, no degree, useless dropout
The death of a child is a marriage killer. She in denial of what cause is: Human, all too human
FullMoon creaming from toothless fellatio
Perhaps the man found her to not be sexually attractive for some inexplicable reason.
"Gunter lost 60 pounds about seven years ago, and has managed to keep it off."
As I said elsewhere in response to that over-rated NY'er story titled Cat Person (or whatever), too many American women place their (non-sexual) relationships with their female friends above all.
They are the female counterparts to "frat boys." It is my impression that many "frat boys" evolve but that for too many American women her "girl friends" relationships are primary for years.
My advice to young American men: seek European or Asiatic companions/wives.
Nature has a way of sorting all this out, species-wise.
Howard said... [hush][hide comment]
Doc Gash has nothing on the TTR and FullMoon reveal.
Huh? Her name is Dr. Gunter?
Oh, I get it. Gash..vagina.
Good one.
Rabel,
But...she slept naked! That helps, right? ;)
"One of her favorite posts is also one of her most searing: It’s a defense of women’s right to seek sex-selective abortion. During her medical training, she writes, she learned to counsel women and make sure they were not being coerced into abortion. She talked to them about alternatives and the importance of contraception. “But motivation? Oh, God, that word offends me,” she writes. “Who decides what is appropriate motivation for an abortion and what is not?”
Gunter recounts a patient whose husband beat her after she delivered another girl — and did not want to go through that again. “Do I judge her? Do I with my upper middle class upbringing and the earning potential of a physician say, ‘Sorry honey, not tragic enough?’ And what if she doesn’t get that abortion and is then beaten to death in her third trimester or after she delivers? I’ve seen that,” Gunter writes.
"3) Men hardly ever discuss sex among themselves in any serious or specific way."
Imagine a Cosmo for men. Nuff said.
Wow! Anybody that married this bitch has to be out of his mind.
Dude run for the hills.
Those poor kids to have this monster of entitlement for a Mom.
Hey..an actual positive reference to her husband:
She says she was fortunate to have eight months maternity leave with 50 percent pay. But when it was time for her to return to work, her children were still struggling with their health. Her husband, Tony, an architect, quit his job to stay home.
http://www.bayareaparent.com/Article/Medicine-and-Miracles/
TTR: "People write what they know, apparently."
If you read Vox or the like, you quickly realize how untrue that statement is....
Jennifer Gunter
@DrJenGunter
Jennifer Gunter Retweeted Coin Camp
Why the fuck should I manage any man?
Jennifer Gunter added,
Coin Camp
@Arrowheadbroken
Replying to @DrJenGunter @nytimes
I am skeptical of you unless you are in private practice. You are on here far to much to manage your job, husband, and family.
9:47 PM - 28 Apr 2017
Whenever the NYTimes is talking about sex, it kinda, you know, drains the......excitement out of me.
I try to envision Gail Collins or Mo Dowd in a hot tub, but it still doesn't work.
Bay Area Guy said...
I try to envision Gail Collins in a hot tub
Jesus, spare me.
Howard said...
The death of a child is a marriage killer.
Have seen this happen a few times. A double tragedy.
Losing a child in a custody battle can also be devastating.
The ties between even a really slack parent, such as myself, and your child are incredibly strong.
Oh, here we go. Women telling their stories.
She is woman, hear her roar.
I expect the real outcome of the #MeToo campaign will be that women will be encouraged to "speak their truth" on any subject at any time, lest they be accused of censoring themselves for the good of the patriarchy.
It's not just red states and blue states in the process of ripping themselves apart.
Men who want sex too much: #MeToo
Men who want sex too little: #NYT
Most men don't have a problem in terms of wanting sex. What this woman doesn't get is that maybe he just didn't want sex with her. Late teens and into mid-twenties lust and attraction will blind most men to the less desirable attributes of his mate. Age and familiarity diminishes the lust and attraction. Almost everyone is on their best behavior while courting. Years of marriage and the related stresses of marriage and most people aren't on their best behavior with their mates. I didn't read the article as to not use up the monthly quota of free NYT articles. Judging from the comments here from people who presumably read it the inference is he was stressed out by the children's situation, she got fat and unattractive, both had issues with each other due to the stress and he just lost his interest in her. Funny how often woman after years of marriage get fat, lazy and simply annoying then file for divorce. Upon divorce they realize guys aren't just into her so she goes on diet, goes to the gym and starts being more attractive and acts more attractive to some other guy.
From 2010
Jen:I used to cook everything from scratch and try and run a “perfect Martha Stewart-like household”. This was a silly (in retrospect, of course) attempt to save my marriage. You know, if I just make the pasta from scratch he will like me more! Obviously, as I am now divorced, al dente pasta is not the key ingredient to a successful marriage (in case anyone is wondering
...
Peggy: You lost 45 pounds in the past year, and you look great! That takes determination and will power. How’d you do it, and how’d you STICK to it?
Jen: Actually 48 lbs now!
Without pictures, we are flying blind on this one. If this is two frumpy, unathletic, misshapen 42-year olds, well..............
Here's a fellow who found Dr. Jen sexually attractive:
Missed Opportunity.
Of course there were no witnesses in a bar full of doctors, but I always believe the woman. Between her husband, Tony Limpdick, and her colleague, Dr. Kahlid "The Octopus" Kahn, there has to be a middle ground.
Blowjobs may be the answer, because they solve so many of life's problems.
All this reminds m of the NY Times columnist who wrote about his girlfriend's abortion.
They had dinner the night before the abortion and she declined any wine "because it might hurt the baby."
Informed consent much ?
"Blowjobs may be the answer, because they solve so many of life's problems."
And, it would be nice for the crack investigative staff at the NYTimes to do a hard-hitting expose' on this important topic.
I don't know anytime about this woman except what I read here, but all of it, all of it is a deal killer. She sounds awful - like Rosie O'Donnel level awful.
If what she wrote here is indicative of her personality in the relationship, perhaps he simply didn't find that all that attractive.
I don't.
I suspect that much, if not most, erectile dysfunction is related to attraction. Even if you love a woman, you may not be sexual excited by her. I wonder if a man with sexual dysfunction was with a woman he found really sexy, if that would change things. He has everything needed to respond, blood pressure, the physical plumbing, etc,. I'm hitting sixty and I would have an impossible time not responding to even an average looking woman. I wonder about love scenes by actors. There must be boners popping up like tulips in springtime.
"I Was Once in Sexless Relationship" by Special Correspondent to the Times, Mr. Anthony Weiner.
Jen:I used to cook everything from scratch and try and run a “perfect Martha Stewart-like household”. This was a silly (in retrospect, of course) attempt to save my marriage. You know, if I just make the pasta from scratch he will like me more! Obviously, as I am now divorced, al dente pasta is not the key ingredient to a successful marriage (in case anyone is wondering
Yah, Jen. You know what?
What can really save your marriage is NOT spending all your time trying to be Martha Stewart and expecting your husband to be fawning over your Mad Housewife Skilz. Instead spend some time actually with him. Do some things that HE might like to do that you may not even want to do. Even if that thing is for him to sit silently reading a book while you STFU for a few moments. Show some real, honest and actual interest in his work, desires, dislikes and fears.
Don't expect perfection from yourself. He probably doesn't WANT perfection. Did you ever ASK him if he wanted to be married to Martha Stewart?
Don't expect perfection from him either. Throw a few compliments his way. Make him feel like he is contributing, is doing good. IGNORE the little crap. Don't be overly critical. Don't whine about how hard your day is all the time. Guess what!!! everyone has a hard day. Discuss it without whining, without the self pity, without the heavy sighing and Cat Butt Face.
Remember....Jen....IF you can..... it isn't always about YOU
Not many figures as well known as her have no spousal history in their wiki.
"Tony" is very under the radar... I hope he has a great sex life and is laughing.
"Althouse extra catty because the pussy doc is a semi-celebrity , writer and bloggress of some stature."
The stature wasn't so great that I had ever noticed her (not that I remember anyway).
My reaction is purely to the text of this one column.
Cuban bob observes: Funny how often woman after years of marriage get fat, lazy and simply annoying then file for divorce.
I wonder if overeating is a substitute for sex? If so, it's kind of a vicious cycle, no?
This piece is a classic of the clueless, entitled, self-pitying, passive-aggressive, non-communicative, upper-middle-class white-woman genre.
Rabel propses: Blowjobs may be the answer, because they solve so many of life's problems.
And they are so very satisfying for the woman. [Eye roll]
Well..at least not as dangerous as cunnilingus is to the guy.
I love you so much for this post Althouse. Thank you.
Blow jobs can be satisfying to the woman if it is something that makes her partner happy. Sometimes things don't function at optimal levels or certain things aren't the desired activity.... so ....whatever works on those occasions.
Rib eye steak can also be satisfying, but.... I wouldn't want to have rib eye steak every day either. That would be more than tiresome. I'd probably go find another place to eat with a different menu, if you get my drift :-D
Wow, harsh crowd today.
I like a BJ as much as the next guy, but I rarely if ever fantasize about that. The thing I do fantasize about it's going down on a woman. That has just always seemed like the most intimate you could be with her. If you are attracted to a woman, you want as much of her as possible and that seems like getting it all. I'd probably make a popular rapist, but I chose another career direction.
I actually think toothless was on to something before he got into it with fullmoon. Women are very neurotic about sex.
It's never too late to start over, bago.
And you wouldn't have to worry much about the Chinese competition.
I am going to circle this back to a discussion in a post from yesterday, and the concept of Authenticity.
A large part of our society (the part that overlaps greatly with NYT writers and readers) views publicly proclaiming your victimhood as a statement of authenticity.
Her victimhood comes from a man who has disappointed her. This disappointment is her validation that she -- as a suffering symbol of all women -- deserves better: authentic women have been disappointed by men.
Then: the woman who is happy in her (heterosexual) relationship is thus inauthentic, because she is obviously sublimating her authentic self to the man.
The authenticity comes from the society agreeing that she is correct in this understanding: women who are disappointed in men are victims. To be more pointed, women who are not sexually fulfilled are victims.
Because society sees it as the man's responsibility to fulfill her desires. The desire to have it all is a woman's right. The reverse is Patriarchy.
Thus, my statement from yesterday: "Declarations of Authenticity become a sign of a Culture's Propaganda about itself."
The New York Times knows what's authentic, even if they have to write and edit deceptively to prove it.
The Germans have a word for this.
Adorno "The Jargon of Authenticity"
Authentic was big in the 60s.
"That has just always seemed like the most intimate you could be with her. If you are attracted to a woman,"
Especially the HPV and throat cancer. At least Michael Douglas survived it. A friend of mine did not.
Of course, "show me a guy who doesn't eat pussy and I'll steal his girl."
So, there is that.
We could take up a collection from amongst the commenters here, and send the lady a vibrator from Amazon.
I think that the end result of the #MeToo and articles like this is that once again, men will work very hard to not care about what women want and say, if only out of self defense.
"And you wouldn't have to worry much about the Chinese competition."
That sideways thing requires a special adapter.
~~~~~~
"Blow jobs can be satisfying to the woman if it is something that makes her partner happy."
I assume the "if" is a typo.
~~~~~
" authentic women have been disappointed by men"
"The Germans have a word for that,"
Das bitch.
Pretty simple, really, some are, some are not.
Some men are, some are not.
You're clearly one of the cucky men who are. And if you want to proclaim what a manwhore you must have been to have had all that sex before you got married at age 16, by all means be my guest.
Generalizing women, or men, by race, age, nationality or any other thing is a losing proposition....
Right. Because culture has no bearing. Well, maybe that's the case for someone who was born in a Burger King bathroom and left behind in its dumpster, like you. But almost no one here (or anywhere) thinks that. They were actually raised. You know. By people called "parents."
See below, Mock says one thing, DB says another.
Wow. Yeah, people have different opinions. Is that ingenious revelation what made you the pride and joy of the local foster parent association?
mockturtle said...
Dust Bunny Queen said...
What are you, a fucking scribe? Everyone can already read what they wrote, you illiterate. This is not a committee meeting that designated you to take minutes.
You could bore the paint off a wall. Clearly life outside of juvie is limiting your potential.
Blogger Ann Althouse said... The stature wasn't so great that I had ever noticed her (not that I remember anyway). My reaction is purely to the text of this one column.
Fair enough. How do you explain slagging off on a woman who is obviously suffering unawares from textbook emotional problems from a dead baby, struggling survivors and resulting loveless marriage? Perhaps cruel is the new normal required to successfully game the Trumpian blogscape. The fan base has elevated the conversation by debating the tradeoff between the risk of HPV cancer versus cuckhood.
It may be just be me, but I'm interested in what The Toothless One has to add to our conversation about blowjobs. Experience is the best teacher.
Journalist and poet Katha Pollitt wrote a whole memoir trashing her cheating ex-boyfriend and enumerating his numerous moral deficiencies called Learning to Drive (2007). While the cad was never actually named, Pollitt left a trail of literary bread crumbs throughout as to his identity. Some really well written gossipy shit here. I read it twice, I'm embarrassed to say.
What a fake. No experience with women and it is obvious.
Well, none before the age of 14, when you obviously hit your peak. But that's just how life was in the orphanage you grew up in.
Same old same old. Once again reading the NYT is a significant waste of time. Glad our host will occasionally do it.
The NYT has disawllowed comment. Of course the NYT exercised no editorial discretion, supervision or judgment in deciding to publish this story.
"a woman who is obviously suffering unawares from textbook emotional problems from a dead baby, struggling survivors and resulting loveless marriage"
It was 15 years ago. Time to let it go. Unless she she wants to keep pimping the dead baby for personal notoriety and gain.
Oh, I get it. Gash..vagina.
Good one.
What a fucking genius.
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Althouse blog self-appointed scribe.
And sexpert on all those underage relations he excelled in.
Toothless says -
Project much?
Seriously, how old are you for real?
I will bet that he is not older than 23.
I will also bet that he grew up in a foster home.
I'm not certain this "Tony" exists.
Might be a "composite".
The wonderful thing about being a modern #MeToo feminist is that if your husband doesn’t want sex he’s wrong, but if you don’t want sex you’re right. From Vox:
“At home, having tried without success the therapist-prescribed exercises for restoring emotional connection — check-ins about feelings, “nonsexual” touch — my husband lobbied for his own solution: ‘The thing you need is really complicated and difficult, and it’s not something I can do. But the thing I need is easy and quick. Why can’t you just give me the thing I need?’
“I acquiesced. At the time, it didn’t feel like a choice; it felt inevitable. I lived every evening dreading the signals of my husband’s desire. I bargained my way out of sex as often as I could. I gloried in being sick enough to have the right to refuse.
“On the nights when I couldn’t get out of it, we used a method that I had taught myself to tolerate and that he, astoundingly, tolerated as well: I read a book to distract myself for as long as I could while he did the thing he needed to do. I did not let him kiss me for the last several years of our marriage. That was the rule: You can fuck me, but you can’t kiss me, and I don’t have to pretend to like it. This satisfied him.”
"Women are very neurotic about sex."
Pretty simple, really, some are, some are not.
Some men are, some are not.
So FullCuck has had sex with both men and women? Obviously that's how he would know.
Bisexual experiences are common in kids who lose their virginity young like he did in the very promiscuous atmosphere of his foster home with the seven other brothers and sisters that raised him. It's also an indicator that there was a lot of abuse going on.
I think this explains his clearly ambivalent, jumpy, personal and fixative reactions to mature adults discussing their attitudes and experiences with sex. As well as why he views his marriage at such a young age as having "saved" him.
Most people who marry young are more mature than that. But then you have the shotgun types and the kids for whom no one but a spouse could hold the promise of finding a way to help them grow up.
FullCuck is the latter, and his marriage won't last. But it won't end well for him, either. That's obvious.
Self professed Cunnilinguist fantasized eight years ago
Ritmo Brasileiro said...
Why are you so obsessed with what I say, Lem?
Am I getting in the way of your 5-star contributions, somehow?
Anyway, the evening is young. My night is just beginning. I won't be hung over, stupefied, yammering by 5 AM like Lem, but you get my drift.
So who's up for fish tacos? (AND NO, TROOPER - I DON'T MEAN THE HUMAN VARIETY! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. Although I did have some of that last night in another form) --
1//2010, 9:36 PM
Sure you did, haha!
Toothless gonna Neflix and chill, with Palm-ella and Vaselinea
Self professed Cunnilinguist -
Yes, I know. You prefer giving blowjobs as it reminds you of your childhood.
Seriously, how unhygienic is your wife's vagina for you to think that this eight-year old quote that you misinterpret as an "admission" of cunnilingus is a made-up form of bragging? Is your mouth too dirty and your teeth too rotted for a woman to let you near her? Personally I never realized that being "allowed" to perform cunnilingus was something that most men aspired to or that most women thought a guy had to be all that special to do. But I keep forgetting that I'm talking to an eight year old.
Were you one of those Hollywood child sex slaves? Clearly the orphanage you grew up in must have had a very permissive attitude that's left you giggling at ordinary people just discussing adult topics.
Toothless gonna...
Sure, ok. If you say so.
And your "plans" tonight will consist of - what, exactly?
Try to make it sound realistic enough for people to believe. Probably by not adding in all the slang and jargon that you usually do.
bagoh says: I like a BJ as much as the next guy, but I rarely if ever fantasize about that. The thing I do fantasize about it's going down on a woman. That has just always seemed like the most intimate you could be with her. If you are attracted to a woman, you want as much of her as possible and that seems like getting it all. I'd probably make a popular rapist, but I chose another career direction.
A lot of women like it, I guess. I never did. Oddly, plain old missionary-style f***ing has always been my favorite. ;-)
mockturtle said...
Cuban bob observes: Funny how often woman after years of marriage get fat, lazy and simply annoying then file for divorce.
I wonder if overeating is a substitute for sex? If so, it's kind of a vicious cycle, no?"
Maybe. But if it is, then its a substitute for sex with someone else besides your mate. Why not bail out earlier before it gets more costly for both?
Ritmo ! Riiiitttmo!!! Where is my KY?
Hold on mommy I'm almost finished .
Haha!
Dropout, no degree
No woman
No date
No income
No future
Angry,un-attractive lonely gamer
Sad !
(Gimmee six paragraphs)
What are your plans for tonight, FullCuck?
Or for any night, really.
"plain old missionary-style"
Does he roll you back over afterwards?
it's not okay for a man to disparage a woman for choosing not to have sex.
Or any other reason, for that matter.
"Women are very neurotic about sex."
Women who don't know how to have good sex are very neurotic about sex. When you're doing it wrong, you don't get pleasure, and you don't really satisfy your man, and you don't really have good communication going with your man, and you don't really know what's going on or whether everything is as it seems.
This woman would have my pity if she hadn't done such a rotten thing outing the guy who refused to have sex with her. It sounds like she's a mess, with issues all over the place.
“On the nights when I couldn’t get out of it, we used a method that I had taught myself to tolerate and that he, astoundingly, tolerated as well: I read a book to distract myself for as long as I could while he did the thing he needed to do.
A book about England.
As others have suggested, this woman is amazingly oblivious to the fact that just because her husband (or whatever he is or was) lost interest in sex with her, it does not mean he lost interest in sex, period. It's convenient and self-serving for her to think of it that way, but it's very unlikely to be true. I have no doubt that it is much more common for men to lose interest in sex with their wives than to lose interest in sex in general, especially where the wife is as self-absorbed and clueless as this one seems to be.
She looks at his behavior as requiring her diagnosis skills.
Telling..
Such sharing was normalized by Candidate Oprah. Just saying.
I confess to being unable to get aroused with an overweight woman. It's a mental thing with me (I like them skinny and/or petite but never fat) -- my libido disappeared when my first wife not only never lost the weight she gained during her pregnancy but never made an effort to do so. We got divorced and after she snagged another husband, she became obese. I dodged a bullet with that one. Men are visual.
Getting fat after marriage is really unfair to your spouse, IMO. There seems to be something wrong in our culture that so many [especially women] get so fat. Is it our diet? Food additives? Emotional? I know losing weight is hard and I have to struggle with the same ten pounds I seem to put on every winter and have to shed in spring, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose 20, 30 or more pounds. Best to nip it in the bud. Maybe staying under a certain weight should be part of a marriage contract.
Maybe it's all the 'indulge yourself' messages women get nowadays. Hey, girl! You deserve that Big Mac or ice cream sundae or whatever. Of course, the commercials always show a slim woman eating them. ;-)
Screwed up "food pyramid" part of that, mock.
This doc is pretending she pursued awesome pasta for her husband.
Right.
Marcus said...Men are visual.
--
The doc knew/embraced this going in..put it out of mind when it suited her.
"He must have a problem!"
Maybe if she dropped the 70lbs BEFORE the divorce..
"This one individual deserves to have his personal story told in the NYT because in general people have a stereotype that the man is the one who wants sex all the time and it's women with the lack-of-interest limitation."
Is it a stereotype if in general it's true?
A 19-year-old Chinese blogger was arrested on prostitution charges after she drew droves of horndogs to her hotel room with an offer of free sex.
Around 3,000 people reportedly came running to a Hilton hotel in Sanya, southern China, to see a woman identified by authorities as Ye Mouyi.
I wonder how many women would come running if a random man of equivalently attractive qualities to women were to post a free sex offer? Somehow, I doubt 3,000.
https://www.maxim.com/news/prostitute-free-sex-hotel-room-2018-3
IDK - every woman I ever dated for more than 2 weeks said all I wanted them for was sex. Was I wrong?!?! I'm so confused.
And one's weight, with very, very few exceptions, is something completely within one's direct control, unlike many things in our lives. So, if you are fat, you are a victim only of your own self indulgence.
I agree Professor. A lot of social double standards.
As to a husband not wanting sex... I too would be interested in the other side.
I've lost interest in it with women before. If they were not treating me decently.... No trust killing desire... works both ways...
ALP said...
"RE: no comments allowed on the article. Seattle Times does that a lot with any female themed news, confirming the view that "women's issues" can't stand the scrutiny or women need to be treated with kid gloves."
Yeah; cannot allow a forum to counter the narrative. ;)
Earnest Prole said...
The wonderful thing about being a modern #MeToo feminist is that if your husband doesn’t want sex he’s wrong, but if you don’t want sex you’re right. From Vox:
I immediately thought of that Vox piece when I saw Prof. Althouse's post. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'd like to put the two authors in the same room and watch them try to resolve the cognitive dissonance between their two positions.
All I have to say - God bless Ann Althouse. Man I love how you cut through the crap, this post being a prime example. And there is SO much crap through which to cut. Thank you, professor!
She's right. He needs to encourage her and thank her for doing a tough job. Even if he doesn't feel it, he can satisfy her with hand or mouth, and let her know she is great and hot. Their marriage is on a tightrope. Consider...A study by Wymbs and Pelham (J Consult Clin Psychol. 2008 October; 76(5): 735-744) examined divorce rates and predictors of divorce among parents of youth with ADHD. The divorce rate among parents of kids with ADHD was nearly twice that of couples in the general population (22.7 percent of parents of children with ADHD had divorced by the time the child was 8 years old, compared to 12.6 percent of parents in the control group). If these premies had lasting problems, both parents need to work hard at staying married.
If she continues to strike out in the sex department, I'd recommend to Dr. Gunter the joys of vigorous masturbation. If that doesn't work should might want to consider going Lesbian, since, as a gynecologist, she could get a lotta pussy at work.
The point is, there are options.
Just curious. How many months in a row had she turned him down before she finally decided to get her groove on? No reason at all that he shouldn't make her wait an equal amount of time.
Dr. Gunter, hopefully, will parlay this into a 3-part series for the NYTimes:
2nd piece: "#NotMetoo - My Bonerless Existence"
3rd piece: "Going Green for Masturbation - the Joys of the Lithium-Powered Vibrator"
She could be a full-time columnist a la Mo Dowd, on this one topic alone.
Michael the Magnificent said...
Just curious. How many months in a row had she turned him down before she finally decided to get her groove on? No reason at all that he shouldn't make her wait an equal amount of time.
I suspect this woman is going to be unhappy no matter what. If her husband were pursuing sex, she might well point to her fragile preemies and complain he is thoughtless and selfish and insensitive to what she is going through.
I also suspect both parties are somewhat nutty. As is the NYT for printing this drivel.
For those who might have read Eric Berne's famous 1964 book, Games People Play, it occurs to me to speculate that she is playing "Frigid Woman" and using a public forum instead of the pseudo-seductive please-bring-me-a-towel routine.
NYT has opened the comments on this piece.
"And one's weight, with very, very few exceptions, is something completely within one's direct control, unlike many things in our lives. So, if you are fat, you are a victim only of your own self indulgence."
Typical of your quack-quacking in slamming all fat people as "self-indulgent." What do you think the Trumps are for God's sake? God made fat people, too, you know. He made a glaring mistake by not making you in His image; he chose instead a duck for your image. He must have been watching Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island at that time.
'Tis pity that Laslo did not live to see this day... But maybe the Germans have a word for it.
This is not complicated, find a partner that has mutual interests/life goals, makes you laugh, and have as much sex as possible. Jeebus.
I sure miss Laslo. This topic was a free shot on goal for him. I’m certain that doing the doctor in her non-gyno bits would have figured prominently in his analysis. I can hear the girl on the treadmill thinking to herself about it as her ponytail goes swish swish.
- Krumhorn
Doing a quick Google of this woman shows me:
She posts lots of selfies.
She posts pics of herself and her kids but not the father, or any other man.
She has some beef with Gwyneth Paltrow
A professional colleague groped her hoohahas once.
If Althouse’s response could be permanently associated with Dr Gunter’s shameless attack on men, then the idea of “social justice” would make some sense. Thanks for taking a whack at this one, Professor. -willie
"or those who might have read Eric Berne's famous 1964 book, Games People Play, it occurs to me to speculate that she is playing "Frigid Woman" "
Maybe we need to bring back the idea of naming the games. Only this time we should be scoring people based on how well they play.
Trumpit tellingly protests: God made fat people, too, you know.
No, God didn't make you fat. YOU made you fat.
Let me add that I do not dislike fat people. What I dislike is fat people complaining that they are victims. If a person chooses to overeat and get/remain fat, that is strictly his/her choice and I respect that. An old friend of mine was in that category. She had a queenly bearing and a facile wit and totally accepted her size. But if you marry someone when you are slim and get fat later, don't expect your spouse to be happy about it or find you attractive.
Mockturtle, for a great many reasons, you’re my kinda gal.
- Krumhorn
Thanks, Krumhorn! :-) You're my kind of guy.
Critter said...
"She posts pics of herself and her kids but not the father, or any other man"
huge red flag...
What the author didn't say: after The Act she used to give him an hour+ lecture on the evils of the patriarchy, and he came to dread the lecture so much he no longer could perform (or lost interest in doing so).
Gunter says that she got in bed naked and also "schedule[d] date night sex," but the man did not provide sex.
In my experience, females often become violent toward the man who refuses them sex when they are 'ready'.
If it weren't for their double standards, females would have no standards at all.
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