October 3, 2017

"Sorry kids, you're SOL this Christmas."

Said Iowahawk, responding to this:

32 comments:

madAsHell said...

Newsweek?? Is that still a thing?

tim in vermont said...

Don't worry kids, you can't believe a word you read in that rag! Not kidding either.

Ann Althouse said...

This made me laugh harder than I have laughed in over a decade.

madAsHell said...

This? This being the article in Newsweek.

Ann Althouse said...

The 2 things together made me laugh, but mainly the NW headline and photo.

Ann Althouse said...

When I think of the things that have made me laugh the most in my life, one of the top two is also about Santa Claus. So if you’ve got any Santa Claus jokes, I am your best audience.

exiledonmainstreet said...

He was heading for Greece last Christmas Eve, made a wrong turn and -oops! Oh, shit, we're in a bad neighborhood now!

RIP, Santa. I hope the Turks enjoyed their reindeer kabobs.

madAsHell said...

I tried reading the article. It wasn't any more cogent than the headline.

Paddy O said...

What you thought he spent the rest of the year in the Bahamas?

Paddy O said...

"So if you’ve got any Santa Claus jokes, I am your best audience."

Are you a fan of the movie Elf?

Darrell said...

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

Darrell said...

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

n.n said...

Santa Clause #1, #2, or stand-in?

The ancient world had malls and Christmas was a time when jolly St. Nick(s) would lead the People to have a gay old time celebrating God's Posterity, the birth of Christ, of course.

Ann Althouse said...

Never seen Elf.

Have read David Sedaris on being a Macy’s elf.

Dave in Tucson said...

Perhaps they mean St. Nicholas? Santa Clause ain't nothing but a cartoon guy on Coke cans.

The Godfather said...

@Althouse: You really ought to see "Elf". It's not as good as "A Christmas Carol" with George C. Scott as Scrooge, or "Miracle on 34th Street", but it's a pretty good Christmas movie. My granddaughters and my wife love it, so I've seen it MANY times, but I still enjoy it (I do clean up the dinner dishes during the middle part of the movie).

Freeman Hunt said...

My biggest Christmas related laugh was, I think, last year when a conversation between children about an Elf on the Shelf was worriedly and somewhat peevishly related to me.

"You can't touch that!"
"Why not?"
"You'll take away his magic!"
"What?!"
"If you touch him, he loses his magic, and he can't move."
"Of course he can't move. He's a doll!"
"No, you're wrong! He does move!"
"Have you seen him move?"
"No, he moves at night."
"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
"You're wrong! It's real!"
"No, it isn't!"

Etc.

It was desired that the elf deniers fall in line. For some reason, that was and is hilarious to me.

Freeman Hunt said...

When I think of the things that have made me laugh the most in my life, one of the top two is also about Santa Claus.

Everyone wants to know the other Santa Claus thing.

Michael McNeil said...

St. Nicholas (bishop of Myra in Lycia) was actually one of the delegates to the first episcopal Council of Nicaea, called by the first Christian emperor Constantine and meeting in 325 AD, which ultimately formulated the Nicene Creed, guiding the faith of Christian churches over all the centuries since.

SweatBee said...

Here you go, Freeman: How to get a laugh out of Althouse

Freeman Hunt said...

Here you go, Freeman: How to get a laugh out of Althouse

Ah! I remember that now. Thanks for the link!

Freeman Hunt said...

A comment by Allison at that link that is making me laugh right now:

"Did you know that the musical named Cats is actually about *cats*?"

I had the same reaction the first time I saw something on television indicating that it was about literal cats.

Freeman Hunt said...

This is great news for parents who have wanted to tell their kids the truth about Santa but have had trouble finding the right moment. They can show their kids this article and tell them Santa died. Clean slate!

JMW Turner said...

Bad Santa...

JMW Turner said...

Actually, Badder Santa.

AllenS said...

This is fake news. Santa Clause is not dead.

AllenS said...

skip the e

Paddy O said...

"This is great news for parents who have wanted to tell their kids the truth about Santa but have had trouble finding the right moment."

I tell my kids that Santa is for kids whose parents don't love them.

Well, not quite so directly. But, it's a fine line between not wanting to instill belief about Santa while not wanting my kids to ruin it for other kids. I just have my kids quietly judge other parents. So, win-win.

Paddy O said...

In Arthur Christmas--a great Christmas show that is sadly overlooked because most people like me assumed it was about the PBS aadvark cartoon--Santa is not one person but a line of Clauses going through the ages, all the way back to the one now found in a tomb. So, they really set up incorporating the occupied tomb in the Santa narrative.

CStanley said...

We go with a "Yes, Virginia" approach. I don't see the harm...it's charming when the kids believe and then they're gently let down when they realize that the physical part of it wasn't real. The hardest part is figuring out when to nudge them into that realization and let the curtain drop.

Freeman Hunt said...

"The hardest part is figuring out when to nudge them into that realization and let the curtain drop."

I've had people ask me to ensure that my nine year old didn't reveal the truth to their eleven year old.

Anthony said...

We had a very interesting finesse. When Elder Daughter started asking about Santa Claus, we came to the conclusion that Santa is a character, eliding the question of whether he's fictional or non-fictional.