Althouse: "Rappers love to rap about how cool they are, how much money they have, how nice their women look, and that’s cool."

September 3, 2017

"Rappers love to rap about how cool they are, how much money they have, how nice their women look, and that’s cool."

"I get that if you don’t have shit, you can pop in that song and feel like you do. We rap about how little we have, how shitty our car is. How … nasty our women are. It’s easy to be a clown. It doesn’t matter if you stink. It doesn’t matter if you dropped out of school or are on food stamps. It doesn’t matter if you got anything. It’s just relieving for a lot of people. I’m so tired of trying to fit my square peg into that round hole. I’m proud to be a square... That’s a Juggalo."

That's J, quoted in "MARCH OF THE CLOWNS/Nudity. Debauchery. Eating a live scorpion. Insane Clown Posse fans are definitely outrageous. But are they a criminal gang?" (WaPo). The is-it-a-gang question is significant, "because in 2011, the FBI took the extraordinary and unprecedented step of labeling the entire fan base of ICP a gang, placing them alongside the Bloods, Crips and MS-13, after a string of crimes carried out by people identified as Juggalos."

19 comments:

MacMacConnell said...: Mean while California cities are paying gang members stipends not to kill people. The Mafia never had it so good.; 9/3/17, 8:36 AM
Crimso said...: The FBI. Helpfully identifying the REAL threats to our society.; 9/3/17, 8:37 AM
J. Farmer said...: See American Juggalo, American Jugalo 2, and A Family Underground for more information. I was in high school in the late 1990s when ICP briefly bubbled up into the mainstream. Since then, the duo of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope have done a pretty admirable job at carving out a unique niche for their particular brand of rap-rock. Back then, if anything was more hated than ICP, it was their fans, who seem to revel in their marginalized status.; 9/3/17, 8:43 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: Insane Clown Posse Lyrics As Inspirational Posters

I am Laslo.; 9/3/17, 8:50 AM
Bob Boyd said...: The Juggalo Squad is where they send you if you won't go along with the Clinton cover up.; 9/3/17, 9:08 AM
Sebastian said...: This just illustrates the UPenn anthro and law profs' thesis that all cultures are equal and equally foster success in an advanced economy.; 9/3/17, 9:40 AM
Fernandinande said...: To be fair to the FBI, they probably needed a gang made up of white people who are not in prison.

"after a string of crimes carried out by people identified as Juggalos" According to detectives, the attack was motivated by jealousy over a girl which, as everyone knows, is a typical motivator for gang criminal activity.

"Our detectives described it as something Conan the Barbarian used to ride through the crowd and strike soldiers with" which, as everyone knows, is a typical gang weapon.; 9/3/17, 9:45 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: Clint Flint, FBI Undercover Agent with the Juggalos...

It's been three months that I've been undercover with the Juggalos: I'm not sure I can take much more. Dead God, the horrors I've seen...

I have yet to witness any signs of criminal gang activities, but I HAVE seen far too many piercings and buttholes. These pierced Juggalos insist on showing their buttholes to each other, and then they laugh and wrestle and act like deranged monkeys: what is wrong with these people...?

I have observed way too many things shoved up shameless buttholes: Seven-Eleven hot dogs and various cheap sandwich meats, mostly. Maybe some of these Seven-Eleven hot dogs and various sandwich meats were shoplifted, but I need bigger crimes than this to warrant all that I have endured...

And now I think some of them are on to me. Yesterday they challenged my dedication to the Posse, and -- to prove myself -- I had to let them give me a Faygo enema. You will never truly understand shame until you have had two liters of cheap carbonated soda forced into your ass while your tormenters chant "Fay-GO, Fay-GO!..."

Surely there must be bigger crimes that I have not yet seen: I cannot believe all this debasement has no bigger meaning. And tomorrow is Insane Clown Posse Karaoke night -- if I screw up a lyric they'll know I'm a Fed for sure...

I am Laslo.; 9/3/17, 9:51 AM
holdfast said...: The trick is to hold your two-handed broadsword sideways. That makes it mo gangsta.; 9/3/17, 9:52 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: Clint Flint, FBI Undercover Agent with the Juggalos...

The pressure was intense, but I made it through Insane Clown Posse Karaoke night. However, many of them are beginning to notice that I do the same song every time. I tell them that I just like that song, but in truth it is the only one I have been able to memorize...

"My name's Violent J, so I can't fuck around
Who's the dirtiest bitch in the whole town
There she go, she workin' at Dairy Queen
Bitch couldn't be a day over fifteen
So I do her in the butt like that
I hit it so quick, I made her butt-cheeks clap, haha"

I purposely picked one with butt-sex references, figuring the crowd's excitement would cover any flaws in my performance -- and it pretty much worked, until someone yelled out "Show your tattoo...!"

Uh oh. I do not have an Insane Clown Posse tattoo. Indeed, I am the only one there without an Insane Clown Posse tattoo: I have identified myself as an Outsider...

Luckily, one of the crowd yelled out that he'd hook me up tomorrow with his tattoo artist, and the crowd cheered. Oh Dear God, I am going to have to get an Insane Clown Posse tattoo: I will be forever marked. The Government does NOT pay me enough to endure this...

I am Laslo.; 9/3/17, 10:24 AM
Patrick said...: The cynic in me wonders if ICP paid the FBI to designate their fans as a gang. Authenticity!; 9/3/17, 10:33 AM
Howard said...: Juggalos = core Trump demographic... beyond white trash; 9/3/17, 10:58 AM
William said...: I don't think this is the place to go to for an informed discussion on the Insane Clown Posse and their followers.; 9/3/17, 12:31 PM
walter said...: Ah..Howard FTW. At least the ICP/Juggalos aren't humorless scolds engulfed in Tourettes-like Trump derangement syndrome.
I doubt gathering the clowns for a march is going to help their cause. But I eagerly await what they come with for their marching chant....; 9/3/17, 1:27 PM
walter said...: Dunno..maybe something frome here could be distilled down for a nice marching cadence:

\My mamma threw me out I called my sister a whore
Now my house is abandoned, my bed is the floor
It's been a week I haven't eaten, I starve and I call
Saw my teacher Miss Elena up in Weatherton mall
I broke into her Docson, and jumped in the back
And waited for the bitch them put my shank to her neck
She offered her car keys, cried and said, "Please!"
She promised not to tell and give me A's and be 's
I said, "I want your money, bitch, and all I can sell" [Now]
I looked into her eyes and she was SCARED AS HELL!
I new she was a snitch, so I cut off her tongue
Got happy with the trigger now I'm on the run, I'm an assassin!

Wicked clowns(x4)
Don't fuck with me
Wicked clowns(x8)
Don't fuck with me
Wicked clowns(x4)

You know who you fucking with?
W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wicked clowns(x2)

My father was a priest, cold-blooded, he's dead
Hypocrite, he was a bigot so I cut off his head
Poured on the holy water, "Bless the dead" is what I said
And heard the demon screaming as his body bled
Now I'm drunk on the freeway, just the other day
I saw a fine hitchiker and I wanted to play
Pulled up to the curb so I can offer a ride
She said, "Thanks," I said, "No thang," and she got inside
Peepin' as I'm creepin', I'm packing an erection
I'm staring with my dick I'm like 'look,' with direction
Made it to her app. she got out and said, "See ya"
"Yo babe like won't you chill and help me kill this 2-liter?"[Baby]
Went into my trailer, I filled up a glass
Before she took a sip I had my dick in her ass
I banged it and banged it, this shit was absurd!
Like she was Sporty Spice and I was some fucking nerd
Then she rolled over and gave me a kiss, and said
"So when am I getting paid?" WHAT BITCH?!?!
First I tried to choke her, she went for the door
And said, "Welcome to the disease there's no cure for"
Bitch, I love you, but now you gotta die
I chased her through the door but she slammed it in my eye
She passed by my boy and I knew he was strapped
Billy pulled out his gun and shot the bitch in her back
Still wanting booty, I went for the hatchet
And screamed at the moon like a sick psychopathic
Choppin' and choppin' they said, "J, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
On the news they found her head stuffed up her butt, what?
I'm an assassin, hahahaha, a motherfucking assassin, eeeaahhhh, AN ASSASSIN!; 9/3/17, 1:43 PM
walter said...: "My father was an Army colonel stationed in the Pentagon, my mother a teacher. I was an honor student, cheerleader, and marching band member, and worked very hard to maintain the preppy persona that was expected of me. It never quite fit though, and I made myself miserable trying to create a place for myself that wasn’t meant for me. I found the music of ICP when I was 17 and going through an extremely difficult and traumatic time in my life. I didn’t know any Juggalos, but something in the music made me somehow feel like I wasn’t alone. In many ways I credit it for saving my life."
Laura K.
Fredericksburg, VA; 9/3/17, 1:46 PM
walter said...: I see 2 live crew will be performing at the concert..keeping the name though 1 of them is dead. Maybe they will play "Long dick Chinese" in honor of the departed.; 9/3/17, 2:27 PM
jg said...: given the amount of crime committed by rap fans, is rap to be investigated as a gang by our *very* in-touch-with-reality federal overlords?; 9/3/17, 6:37 PM
daskol said...: poor clint. much nicer looking ladies if he'd pulled antifa duty,; 9/4/17, 8:34 PM