Althouse: "Given the choice between making out with Bill Nye (Science Guy and Perfect Man) and having lash extensions forever..."

August 10, 2017

"Given the choice between making out with Bill Nye (Science Guy and Perfect Man) and having lash extensions forever..."

"... I would choose the lash extensions, no hesitation. They’re that good."

Noted.

47 comments:

Sebastian said...: Shoulda been in Damore's footnotes.; 8/10/17, 11:37 AM
Achilles said...: So about the 19th amendment...

Doesn't this embarrass women in general?; 8/10/17, 11:40 AM
Ralph L said...: We're supposed to take advice in cosmetics from someone who calls Nye the perfect man? I'll stick with mascara, thank you.

A woman passed me at 75 mph while she used a mirror and those clamps to put on false eyelashes.; 8/10/17, 11:45 AM
rehajm said...: It's easy to dismiss this as petty virtue signaling given Nye's hysteria surrounding climate change but it's worth considering it's a manifestation of The Marcia Brady Effect. It's entirely possible for the existience of a populous category of women who watched Nye's science program in their preteen/teen years for which he represents the protypical male sexual being.; 8/10/17, 11:46 AM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: Bill Nye is soooooo yucky.; 8/10/17, 11:47 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: This made me laugh. Certainly funnier than a dining room table.; 8/10/17, 11:50 AM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: I'll eat a dirt sandwich before I make-out with Bill Nye or let some nice lady work with glue near my eyeballs. Thanks.; 8/10/17, 11:50 AM
Sydney said...: Hmmm. There's a lot of things I would choose over making out with Bill Nye. Including having needles stuck in my eyes.; 8/10/17, 11:50 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: Forty-five minutes twice a month is quite a commitment for eyelashes. Certainly a bigger commitment than driving into the automatic carwash.; 8/10/17, 11:52 AM
Todd said...: Isn't that kind of like asking a [random] guy, "a) would you prefer to get hit in the head 500 times with a hammer every day for the rest of your life OR b) access to all the ice cold beer [of your choice] that you would ever want"?

Hummmmm, call me craze but I think I just might pick B...; 8/10/17, 11:52 AM
Static Ping said...: That's not what they mean by "I f***ing love science!"

At least I hope not.; 8/10/17, 12:03 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm with Todd; 8/10/17, 12:04 PM
Etienne said...: There's a young woman who's a cashier at the Wal-mart. She is about 4'8", and has black eyelashes that are thick and long. She has shoulder-length black hair, black lipstick, and black fingernail polish.

I always cross myself before entering her line. You can't be too safe.; 8/10/17, 12:09 PM
chuck said...: Big deal, I'd choose lash extensions too, zero thought required.; 8/10/17, 12:17 PM
Paddy O said...: I have a friend who was really into swing dancing when swing dancing was really big and well after it fizzled in popularity. She would go to swing dancing clubs and would regularly see Bill Nye there, even danced with him. A good dancer, apparently, but not a terribly engaging personality. More personality on his shows than in real life, it seems.; 8/10/17, 12:19 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: Doesn't this embarrass women in general?

Yes.; 8/10/17, 12:23 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: Althouse, how do you find these vapid whackadoodles?; 8/10/17, 12:24 PM
D 2 said...: She is evidently choosing to blind herself with eyelashes, as opposed to science.; 8/10/17, 12:30 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "those clamps to put on false eyelashes"

Those are eyelash curlers.

You don't use "clamps" to put on false eyelashes. Just fingers.; 8/10/17, 12:33 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Althouse, how do you find these vapid whackadoodles?"

Trade secret.; 8/10/17, 12:33 PM
CStanley said...: I'd pick the lashes too, even if it was 100 lashes.; 8/10/17, 12:37 PM
David Smith said...: Seriously, that's an offshoot of The Onion, right?

It's hilarious, as long as it isn't serious - if it is, I'll have to fall back on either:

- We are so screwed!; or
- These are Heinlein's crazy years, we just live here.

Come to think about it, though, we don't have to choose - they both apply!; 8/10/17, 12:38 PM
Susan said...: I'd choose lash extensions too.

And I wouldn't be caught dead with lash extensions.

Good thing the Internet exists otherwise I wouldn't know such shallow people were an actual thing. I don't know any women who are like this in real life.; 8/10/17, 12:40 PM
exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...: Given the choice between being lashed in public and making out with Bill Nye, I would choose the lashes.; 8/10/17, 12:47 PM
exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil said...: Ah, I just scrolled up and saw CStanley beat me to it.; 8/10/17, 12:53 PM
Wince said...: Did you know that...

Bill Nye's boner is like a machine.; 8/10/17, 1:24 PM
Bobber Fleck said...: Blogger I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Althouse, how do you find these vapid whackadoodles?

Pants, Ann lives in Madison. How do you avoid them?; 8/10/17, 1:31 PM
Ralph L said...: You don't use "clamps" to put on false eyelashes. Just fingers.

If she'd used just fingers, I wouldn't have noticed.; 8/10/17, 1:43 PM
damikesc said...: I'd like to say "You can do better than Nye"...but she cannot.; 8/10/17, 1:45 PM
Portlandmermaid said...: Unless this is opposite day, why would Bill Nye's name even come up? What a random comparison; he's not appealing at all.; 8/10/17, 1:58 PM
Kevin said...: I look forward to the Bill Nye The Science Guy sex doll with three rape settings.

1. Normal
2. Climate Science
3. Quantum Physics

Accuracy of the statements by Bill Nye The Science Guy sex doll not verified by SlamBamThankYouMamCo and should be taken as entertainment value only, and not actual scientific fact.; 8/10/17, 2:04 PM
wendybar said...: Bill Nye is the perfect man??? Wow...People really have gone crazy!; 8/10/17, 2:11 PM
Mike Sylwester said...: On my monitor, this blog article appears directly under an advertisement that shows a photograph of a middle-age blonde woman and the words Plenty O' Fish (40+).

It looks like the advertisement and the article's title are joined.

The photograph is too small for me to say whether this 40+ woman has lash extensions.; 8/10/17, 2:15 PM
Kate said...: Lash extensions I've heard about. My hairdresser swore by them. I'm not embarrassed that a woman would talk about lash options. We get older, hair gets thinner for some. I am embarrassed that someone chose this -- what's the great word above? Whackadoodle -- to speak for us. Perm chemicals next to the eye. Holy cow. And a bathtub to remove mascara? I have no idea what she's talking about.; 8/10/17, 2:24 PM
Dave D said...: In what God-forsaken universe is Bill Nye considered an object of attraction to (m)any women? I swear, the older I get, the less I understand taste. Plus, if "science" is the thing that turns you on, wouldn't you go for Einstein or Feynman, for example? You know, someone who has actually DONE science and not simply politicized it?; 8/10/17, 2:43 PM
vanderleun said...: This woebegone thing that thinks its a woman needs to be blinded with a hot spoon.; 8/10/17, 3:08 PM
madAsHell said...: So you want to wake up looking like Beyoncé.
.....or kissing Bill Nye.

I can't imagine the demographic.

Maybe this is one of those intersectionalities that Chelsea Clinton keeps talking about, but all I see is a Venn diagram without an intersection.; 8/10/17, 3:28 PM
buwaya said...: Bill Nye?

Amazing how desperate women have gotten since I was taken off the market oh, these many decades ago.

I pity women.; 8/10/17, 3:50 PM
buwaya said...: "Plus, if "science" is the thing that turns you on, wouldn't you go for Einstein or Feynman, for example?"

They are dead.
Now, I don't judge (much), and there is no accounting for taste, but this is not going to be a majority position.; 8/10/17, 3:58 PM
Earnest Prole said...: Bill is pansexual don't you know? If not this video from his show explains all (fair puke-in-mouth warning).; 8/10/17, 5:37 PM
Mary Beth said...: You don't use "clamps" to put on false eyelashes. Just fingers.

There are applicators.

I would rather fill out my tax forms than make out with Bill Nye.; 8/10/17, 6:24 PM
Jaq said...: Nye Quadrant; 8/10/17, 7:45 PM
bagoh20 said...: So it's official now. There are no men worth making out with on the left, unless you are a lesbian of course. I mean Bill Nye? Really? He's the Barney Fife of science. He wants to
"nip it in the bud"; 8/10/17, 9:01 PM
Gretchen said...: How is that an attractive option. This woman has serious issues. Bill Nye starred in a children's show. Why not make out with fake military man and sex symbol Captain Kangaroo, or striped green shirt sex-symbol Steve from Blues clues or unzipping Mr. Roger's sweater.
So.Very.Wrong.

Another sign those on the left never grew up.; 8/10/17, 11:33 PM
Pillage Idiot said...: Laslo is really moving up in world!

He used to write about elaborate and bizarre sexual escapades in blog comment sections. Now he gets to write lead articles in glossy women's magazines.

I am not Laslo.; 8/10/17, 11:42 PM
Bill R said...: Lash extensions vs making out with Bill Nye. Sure. But how about 40 lashes vs making out with Bill Nye.; 8/11/17, 8:06 AM
Unknown said...: 1. Ewwww!

2. The first time I remember seeing Bill Nye was on "Almost Live" when he played "Speed Walker, the Physically Fit Superhero," speed-walking his way around Seattle to stop crime. However, I wouldn't have wanted to watch him with either my mom or my kids because things were jangling around so freely in his shorty-shorts; my husband and I watched in bemused fascination, waiting for something to pop out. So I never really bought him as the Science Guy thereafter; all I could ever see him as was the Guy Who Didn't Keep His Boys In Check While Wearing Super-Short Shorts.

3. This article read like a GOOP piece. Let's see... You could buy a $5 tube of Great Lash and cope with the terrible inconvenience of having to check the mirror during the day to make sure the mascara isn't rubbing off, and maybe even CARRYING THE TUBE with you so you can touch up as needed... or you can pay ten times as much every MONTH to have (it is likely) poorer women tend to your lash deficiency.

4. Hang on, hasn't Google conclusively proven that women as a class (because that's what we are, right?) are concerned with weightier things than this?

5. That said, my favorite mascara is not as cheap as Great Lash but is a hell of a lot cheaper than lash extensions. It's called Blinc and it has two great advantages for me (I have good long lashes but they're blonde, so I "need" color but not length or volume): first, it doesn't color the lashes but rather coats them with something that forms a little black tube around each lash, so the color doesn't rub off; it stays on until I want to take it off except if... 2. ...I get my face wet, because they come off with large amounts of plain water (not tears unless I'm experiencing something really really sad). To take them off, I get a cotton ball or washcloth very wet and then gently wipe my eyes, straight down the lashes. No cleaners, no rubbing.; 8/11/17, 8:53 AM