Althouse: "I am really, really good looking. You look good, too. You’re a tall drink of water. Like a giraffe crossed with Eliot Ness."

May 14, 2017

"I am really, really good looking. You look good, too. You’re a tall drink of water. Like a giraffe crossed with Eliot Ness."

"What are you, 6-foot-8, 6-foot-9? Central casting. But don’t let your head get too big. Don’t be a showboat. Don’t be a grandstander. That’s my shtick. Do you play golf? How far do you drive? Trump hits it strong and long — 285 yards. Have some salad. We got you creamy vinaigrette. I always do Thousand Island...."

Maureen Dowd has the "tapes" of the Trump-Comey dinner.

53 comments:

Comanche Voter said...: Ah Mo Do---struggling to hang on as she fades into well deserved irrelevance. Not that there is anything wrong with that--and bless her heart.; 5/14/17, 10:26 AM
DanTheMan said...: Off her meds again, I see...; 5/14/17, 10:33 AM
madAsHell said...: I didn't read the "transcript" carefully, but it really provides a canard for the unhinged to repeat.; 5/14/17, 10:36 AM
Darrell said...: The NYT should turn over her column to her Trump-supporting brother.; 5/14/17, 10:37 AM
Darrell said...: More SNL for the Lefties that can't get enough. Humor for the insane.; 5/14/17, 10:38 AM
rhhardin said...: Dowd doesn't get that it's for the media. It's sand in the gears.; 5/14/17, 10:41 AM
rhhardin said...: To defeat the media you have to make it obvious that it's soap opera and nothing more.

That's what Trump does, consistently.; 5/14/17, 10:42 AM
Qwinn said...: Hey, not that many journalists actually add a new word to the language: "Dowdify": to use ellipsis in a quote to diametrically reverse its meaning in order to smear someone (Schwarzenegger, in the case that earned her the word.); 5/14/17, 10:43 AM
Kevin said...: Finally getting the kind of coverage it deserves.; 5/14/17, 10:45 AM
Bay Area Guy said...: On Mother's Day, Mo Do is ruminating about imaginary conversations by Donald Trump?

How telling.; 5/14/17, 11:13 AM
whitney said...: The more they attack him, the more I like him. And I did not vote for him; 5/14/17, 11:22 AM
Hari said...: The NYT has a serious dilemma. On the one hand, it wants to be a serious newspaper. On the other hand, it's readership has declared that it will not tolerate anything but the what it wants to hear. NYT readers don't want news. They want comfort, which includes constantly being told that everyone who writes for the NYT agrees with them on everything. Basically, the NYT has become a safe space for it's readers. This all but requires that it give up on reporting the news straight or offering a variety of opinion.; 5/14/17, 11:30 AM
Qwinn said...: "On the one hand, it wants to be a serious newspaper."

Citation needed.; 5/14/17, 11:40 AM
walter said...: You can't do Trump without at least one "Believe me."

If Dowd's script were to continue, Comey's cake should arrive mushed down with the ice cream melted.
Instead of sending it back, Comey would let it go since he has no proof of intent.; 5/14/17, 11:47 AM
Rabel said...: "Did it ever occur to you that your wacky, neurotic, dopey bouts of piety and vanity during the campaign broke F.B.I. rules and ruined your reputation?"

Dowd slipped in a slam on Comey in the above quote which is not rendered in Trump-speak.; 5/14/17, 11:48 AM
rcocean said...: One note comic, plays one-note. Again.; 5/14/17, 11:54 AM
wildswan said...: " Hari said...
The NYT has a serious dilemma. On the one hand, it wants to be a serious newspaper. On the other hand, it's readership has declared that it will not tolerate anything but the what it wants to hear."

Very good, very true.

Solution: The New York Times is [where Democracy dies in the unbearable lightness of being] seriously committed to telling you what you want to hear.; 5/14/17, 12:15 PM
Opinh Bombay said...: When you read the words, "The NYT reports..." the next question you should have is "I wonder what the real story is?"

Somewhere down the line you can ask "What is the MoDo bufoonery this week?"; 5/14/17, 12:17 PM
Limited blogger said...: The left is just not funny. But of course they all laugh at the schtick.; 5/14/17, 12:22 PM
Michael K said...: They want comfort, which includes constantly being told that everyone who writes for the NYT agrees with them on everything.

Yes, the uproar about the Bret Stephens column proves that if anyone was in doubt.; 5/14/17, 12:24 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: Performance art, all Dowd used to strive to be, requires a lacking talent, so sadly we are left to but conclude we are being duped, mocked, schlonged.

Women like it.; 5/14/17, 12:40 PM
Fernandinande said...: The FBI, the CIA and LAPD are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"; 5/14/17, 12:48 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: Blogger Bay Area Guy said...
On Mother's Day, Mo Do is ruminating about imaginary conversations by Donald Trump?

How telling.

5/14/17, 11:13 AM

Sorry my friend but she wrote this column before today. I can agree with many points you might be making yet dislike, like with Rush, when you, a man as a patriarch I hold in the highest of esteems, get the details wrong so as to allow the conflation of ignorance with evil, albeit probably only in my limited mental state.

I apologize if I have offfended you, please understand that was never my intention.; 5/14/17, 12:52 PM
narciso said...: Michael Douglas doesnt call anymore

http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2017/05/russian_hacking_and_collusion_put_the_cards_on_the_table_.html; 5/14/17, 1:00 PM
Michael K said...: "They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. "

Is that like the Polish joke about the three tasks he was supposed to do ?

He was supposed to have sex with a woman and kill a bear. He comes out of the cave all scratched and bruised and says, "Alright where is that woman I'm supposed to kill?"

I've forgotten the rest.; 5/14/17, 1:23 PM
Saint Croix said...: funny!; 5/14/17, 1:30 PM
Saint Croix said...: she should do the Trump voice a lot more, it's really good; 5/14/17, 1:31 PM
JohnAnnArbor said...: She's good at bitter.; 5/14/17, 1:33 PM
Saint Croix said...: I thought she made up the ice cream and the salad dressing, but Frank Bruni writes a column on the same damn thing

Maybe this one is funny because she's focused on mocking Comey and Time magazine, and it's way easier to mock the sanctimonious than the humorous. In fact most of her attacks on Trump aren't funny because they are sanctimonious. But here she's using Trump to skewer, and it works.; 5/14/17, 1:41 PM
Hagar said...: A giraffe is a horse designed by Congress.; 5/14/17, 2:08 PM
David said...: Nice going Mo. Take a cliché like tall drink of water. Combine it with san original image like a giraffe crossed with Eliot Ness. Presto. You have elevated the cliché.; 5/14/17, 2:29 PM
Etienne said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/14/17, 2:31 PM
FullMoon said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/14/17, 2:42 PM
eric said...: People here on Althouse do a much better impersonation of Trump.

There are a lot of people who do Trump pretty well. And it's funny. Dowd isn't one of them.; 5/14/17, 3:04 PM
dwick said...: Mo meet shark - shark meet Mo...; 5/14/17, 3:46 PM
fivewheels said...: There's a phenomenon on the left that I think is growing more pronounced, and that's their constant fantasizing about how evil and stupid their opponents are. They can't stop making up these little scenarios in their heads about what a Republican or a Christian or some other enemy might say, but the problem is they lose the ability to distinguish between their fantasies and reality.

I think the biggest, most widely hallucinated example is Sarah Palin and "I can see Russia from my house." Never said it, but for a decade now it's been high on the list of reasons Palin is sooooo dumb. They're doing it with Trump now. They've made up a bunch of stuff he didn't say and doesn't believe, and they're acting as if it's his core philosophy. Ask any pussy-hat wearer what the Donald thinks of gay rights, and see if she says the exact opposite of his position. There's a 99.9 percent chance.; 5/14/17, 4:08 PM
M Jordan said...: Down has taken snark as far as it will go. Give her credit, she's good at it.

But in the end, it's just snark.; 5/14/17, 4:14 PM
M Jordan said...: *Dowd.*

How I hate autocorrect.; 5/14/17, 4:17 PM
Jupiter said...: Never mind Dowd's lame attempts at whatever she is lamely attempting. Check out the article entitled "U Can't Talk To Ur Professor Like This".

"These days, simply being considerate can feel like a political act. “After this recent election, I’ve had several female students come to me and say, ‘I’m noticing differences in how men are treating me.’ It’s heartbreaking,” she said. “We’re trying to set standards for them that they may not see outside the classroom, places where you’d think there would be decorum.”"

Isn't that touching? The "female students" (how can you tell? Isn't it sexist to assume they're female just because they are dressed like women and act like princesses?) have noticed that since Trump got elected, the boys are all into this pussy-grabbing thing. So, naturally, they complain to their English Professor. Wouldn't you? And she responds by telling the boys to act like little Gentlemen. Or, well, maybe not. No, I guess not. Maybe she explains to the young ladies that "Ho-bitch" is actually an endearment in Ebonic. A teachable moment!; 5/14/17, 5:04 PM
Sam L. said...: No need to read MoDo.; 5/14/17, 6:01 PM
Bob Loblaw said...: These days, simply being considerate can feel like a political act. “After this recent election, I’ve had several female students come to me and say, ‘I’m noticing differences in how men are treating me.

So you joined in the campus rioting, and carried signs labeling everyone who supported Trump a misogynist and a racist and every other "ist" you could think of (subject to space limitations, of course). You've dyed your hair neon blue and you wear your "All sex is rape" t-shirt to class. And now you've noticed men are treating you differently. Those bastards!; 5/14/17, 6:52 PM
Big Mike said...: Dowd is a small part of the reason why Trump.; 5/14/17, 6:55 PM
J said...: I believe the psychotherapist call what Ms Dowd did "projecting".I am assured it is the sign of a sick mind.; 5/14/17, 6:59 PM
Drago said...: Hoax conversations to go along with campus/societal racism hoaxes to be joined with hoax Trump/Russia Collusion.

A perfect leftist storm.

Never let a crisis go to waste, especially the made up ones.; 5/14/17, 7:37 PM
Joanne Jacobs said...: It's not funny.

Parody usually relies on exaggeration, but Trump's style is so exaggerated to begin with that more exaggeration doesn't really work.; 5/14/17, 8:41 PM
Unknown said...: > Down has taken snark as far as it will go. Give her credit, she's good at it.

She suffers from "Dowd's Syndrome".; 5/14/17, 8:49 PM
chickelit said...: Sadly, Dowd used to bring both the NYT and Althouse more traffic.; 5/14/17, 9:41 PM
Saint Croix said...: Time Magazine:

The waiters know well Trump’s personal preferences. As he settles down, they bring him a Diet Coke, while the rest of us are served water, with the Vice President sitting at one end of the table. With the salad course, Trump is served what appears to be Thousand Island dressing instead of the creamy vinaigrette for his guests. When the chicken arrives, he is the only one given an extra dish of sauce. At the dessert course, he gets two scoops of vanilla ice cream with his chocolate cream pie, instead of the single scoop for everyone else.

This ice cream scoop is repeated in NY Mag and CNN.

So when Dowd writes…

Ah, here’s dessert. The most beautiful chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen. I get two scoops of ice cream and you only get one. Because I’m the president. Can you believe it?

It's funny because it's true!; 5/14/17, 10:36 PM
Saint Croix said...: These are the hands that hit a golf ball 285!; 5/14/17, 10:39 PM
Warren Fahy said...: Silly.; 5/15/17, 1:56 AM
tim in vermont said...: t's funny because it's true!

Yes, and you proved it with geometric logic! Trump got more than his share of ice cream!; 5/15/17, 5:42 AM
tim in vermont said...: To her credit, Dowd always had the Clintons properly pegged.; 5/15/17, 5:43 AM
Unknown said...: Brooks added his fact-free presumptive psychoanalysis column:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/15/opinion/trump-classified-data.html

Brooks concludes Trump is a Reagan, there is "nothing there".

Brooks suggests Trump is the "all time record holder" of the Dunning-Kruger effect. But according to the source material, how can Brooks know that title doesn't belong to David Brooks?; 5/16/17, 2:25 AM