Althouse: "Lawsuit alleges Metro State Denver enabled a professor to retaliate against faculty members who complained that he was repeatedly seen masturbating in his office."

March 14, 2017

"Lawsuit alleges Metro State Denver enabled a professor to retaliate against faculty members who complained that he was repeatedly seen masturbating in his office."

Headline at Inside Higher Ed.

I wonder what the real facts are here. How do you manage to see somebody masturbating in his office? It seems like an invasion of privacy. Was there an exhibitionist aspect to this, leaving a door open? I don't get it. The allegations seem fishy on their face. (By the way, there's a picture at the link of the accused professor holding up a large fish. Was that an Inside Higher Ed effort at phallic metaphor?)

What are the ethics about sexual experiences inside private offices? And, more relevant here, when does one person's sexual gratification create a "sexually hostile work environment" and a valid claim of employment discrimination?

It's obviously in bad taste to let anyone know you are having sex — alone or with someone else — in your office. But if you are in your own space, behind a closed door, and somebody else happens to walk in on you, shouldn't that person immediately leave and act is if the intrusion never happened? At worst, the intruder should quickly apologize, get out, and say no more.

ADDED: I see the need for a second poll:

89 comments:

Peter said...: His hairy palms and poor eyesight were a dead giveaway.; 3/14/17, 12:00 PM
rhhardin said...: Erving Goffman's analysis of nose picking is that it's acceptable by yourself but if somebody walks into the office you're expected to stop.; 3/14/17, 12:00 PM
YoungHegelian said...: Okay, before someone else posts it:

Was that wrong?; 3/14/17, 12:04 PM
Ann Althouse said...: @YoungHegelian

LOL

That will never not be hilarious.; 3/14/17, 12:07 PM
YoungHegelian said...: We all warned Prof. Black not to read Laslo at work. We did. But, did he listen? Noooooooooooooooooo! He never listens!; 3/14/17, 12:09 PM
Mr. D said...: I voted no, but not sure the exclamation point was necessary. Just not my thing, but I'm not particularly concerned about what other people do. Now, if someone else uses my office for sex, that would be a problem.; 3/14/17, 12:10 PM
Meade said...: "Well the sex was okay but, uh, I threw up from the Hennigan's"

"Good thing the cleaning lady was there."; 3/14/17, 12:15 PM
Mark said...: inside private offices . . . in your office. But if you are in your own space

What he was in his own home?? If not, if it was at the school, then it was the school's office, not "his," it was the school's space, not his "own space."

And, yes, there have been many cases of people being seen (often through windows that face public areas) engaging in sex acts. There was a case in the news recently of someone (a police officer? or some other official) repeatedly having sex with his wife in front of a glass patio door.; 3/14/17, 12:18 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "I voted no, but not sure the exclamation point was necessary."

Yeah. I thought about that. It make the no-sayers seem a bit hysterical or prissy.

What about people who just don't find work a sexy place and it's not something they're at all inclined to do? What about people who are committed to one sex partner and that person is never in the office? The exclamation point is not appropriate for these people. It rather assumes that the "no" is based on some sort of moral outrage or sense of ickiness.; 3/14/17, 12:21 PM
Yancey Ward said...: I can't wait for Laslo to visit this blog entry. Also, take a look at the top rated comment on the story link that Ann provided- hilarious!

I am guessing that the allegations against Black are likely true, and it is probably a form of exhibitionism on his part, though it certainly isn't impossible that there is some underlying agenda on the part of his accusers.; 3/14/17, 12:23 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "What he was in his own home?? If not, if it was at the school, then it was the school's office, not "his," it was the school's space, not his "own space.""

The personal possessive is used to refer to offices, even though the real estate is not your property. I'd call my office at work "my office." The use of the word "own" in the question isn't to denote property ownership but simply that it is your office rather than somebody else's.

If you think a person shouldn't have sex unless he is in a room that he owns as property (or at least rents, like a hotel room), then the answer you want is "NO!"; 3/14/17, 12:24 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: I'm do NOT want to click "View the results".; 3/14/17, 12:24 PM
Yancey Ward said...: You would have to be a fool to risk having sex in your office at work, alone or otherwise.; 3/14/17, 12:24 PM
Bay Area Guy said...: It's interesting to me how we've moved so far away from the once common question, "Was anyone hurt?", the corollary being, "no harm, no foul."

Yes, this idiotic professor should not be stroking away in his office, jeez.

But, the busybody professors who were traumatized, and felt the need to officially report this stupidity, now find themselves enmeshed in an ugly, expensive lawsuit.

They have ventured down an acrimonious path, I'd say.

Most important observation -- in the private sector, the Prof would be fired instantly a la George Costanza. Not so, in the public sector.; 3/14/17, 12:28 PM
Mark said...: Now, having read the article at the link, the lawsuit itself would seem to deserve a high degree of skepticism regarding the sex allegation and the other claims.; 3/14/17, 12:29 PM
jaed said...: not sure the exclamation point was necessary

I, on the other hand, am glad Althouse provided an option that lets me accurately express my feelings for once. ;-)

However, I think we need more facts. How did people see this? Did he leave the door open? Did people walk in on him without knocking? (If so, was there an expectation in that group that you can enter an office - maybe during posted office hours, or during business hours - without knocking?) Does the door have a window in it? Did they see it through an outside window? One of the students allegedly saw him doing this "in the marketing department"—was this still in the office, or elsewhere?

And five people, by my count, observed this "on multiple occasions"? I'd think after the first "occasion" he'd realize there was a security problem with doing this in his office. (If it was in the office.)

The complaint is available online but it's behind a paywall. Anyone have an account?; 3/14/17, 12:29 PM
Ann Althouse said...: I could imagine another poll making the property distinction, but it would explore another matter of inquiry. Does anyone want to talk about the acceptability of a business proprietor having sex in his private office as distinguished from the acceptability of non-owner employees having sex in their private office?

So, like, Donald Trump could have sex with his wife in his office at Trump Tower but not in the Oval Office. And non-Trump workers at Trump Tower can't have sex in their office....

Is this a good topic?

It does point to the idea that Bill Clinton should not have had sex with Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office. But I'd say the reason for that is that she was an underling employee. If Bill wanted to have sex with Hillary Clinton in the Oval Office, would that be wrong? If it's wrong, it's because it's such an important place and there's some sacred trust and dignity should be preserved there. (Like, get your feet off the sofa.) It's not because Bill didn't OWN the Oval Office. He didn't own the White House bedrooms either, but surely, he could have sex there.

Is THIS the sort of thing we should be talking about?; 3/14/17, 12:32 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Am I the only one who finds the phrase "masturbating in the marketing department" funny?; 3/14/17, 12:34 PM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: Agree with Bay Area Guy.

Is it true? I don't know. I think it would be disturbing to find a professor masturbating in their own office. Unprofessional. Strange. & yes, a private sector job - you would be fired for doing this, because it's unprofessional. (and strange and nobody wants to shake your hand now. yuck. ;) )

Sure, it's only sex with yourself - but get a grip and do it at home. geeez.; 3/14/17, 12:37 PM
Owen said...: Clearly a case for Title IX Compliance Team. This guy was committing sexual assault on himself and apparently there are many witnesses. Who for some reason waited months or years to step forward. One can imagine the conversation: "You have fostered a work environment so horribly harassing that I was too traumatized to report it. Until now, when your decision to fire me has liberated me to speak of it."

Hearsay. Stale. Self-serving. Unfalsifiable. Inflammatory. Triggering regulatory review.

Going to be a really fun investigatory process.; 3/14/17, 12:40 PM
DanTheMan said...: >>Am I the only one who finds the phrase "masturbating in the marketing department" funny?

I thought that's all they did over there...; 3/14/17, 12:41 PM
tcrosse said...: Am I the only one who finds the phrase "masturbating in the marketing department" funny?
I find it redundant.; 3/14/17, 12:45 PM
tcrosse said...: Doctor: Joe, you have to stop masturbating.
Joe: Why ?
Doctor: Because I'm trying to examine you.; 3/14/17, 12:48 PM
Scott said...: Does masturbating in a men's room stall at the office count? I was in defecatory repose in a stall at the office once when a guy two stalls over started whipping his bishop with gusto. It sounded earnest to the point of desperation. Didn't stay for the climax, though; I felt it was a bit creepy.; 3/14/17, 12:50 PM
Nyamujal said...: "It's obviously in bad taste to let anyone know you are having sex — alone or with someone else — in your office. But if you are in your own space, behind a closed door, and somebody else happens to walk in on you, shouldn't that person immediately leave and act is if the intrusion never happened? At worst, the intruder should quickly apologize, get out, and say no more."

That's what I'd do. I'd just leave and pretend it never happened.; 3/14/17, 12:50 PM
Titus said...: I have had sex with someone in every office I have worked in except my current office.

I have always had an office with a door (and sweeping views natch).

The worst thing I did when i was in my 20's is picked up a guy in the Boston Commons and had him come to my office. He snorted coke off my dick. I am actually kind of ashamed about that, but I was in my 20's.; 3/14/17, 12:53 PM
Fernandinande said...: Ann Althouse said...
Am I the only one who finds the phrase "masturbating in the marketing department" funny?

No.

tcrosse said...
Doctor: Joe, you have to stop masturbating. ...

That elicited a long, loud cackle from my better half.; 3/14/17, 12:56 PM
Scott said...: "I have had sex with someone in every office I have worked in except my current office."

You're just saying that so they won't have cause to fire you.; 3/14/17, 12:56 PM
Fernandinande said...: "masturbating in the marketing department"

Maybe it's really marketing in the masturbation department.; 3/14/17, 12:57 PM
Lewis Wetzel said...: You mean that there are college profs who have not been seen masturbating in their office?
Well, ain't that a wonderment.; 3/14/17, 12:57 PM
Nyamujal said...: @Titus
"The worst thing I did when i was in my 20's is picked up a guy in the Boston Commons and had him come to my office. He snorted coke off my dick. I am actually kind of ashamed about that, but I was in my 20's."

pro-tip: Don't waste quality coke on Boston Common randos.; 3/14/17, 12:59 PM
Anonymous said...: "That's what I'd do. I'd just leave and pretend it never happened."

But how awkward it will be the next time you have to deal with this person. How difficult to keep a poker face.; 3/14/17, 1:02 PM
bagoh20 said...: Not only is it not your space to use as you wish, but as an employee, it is likely not even your time to you as you please. I doubt the allowable uses for the space or the time include having sex, unless the thing you are teaching is Sex Ed.; 3/14/17, 1:04 PM
Nyamujal said...: "But how awkward it will be the next time you have to deal with this person. How difficult to keep a poker face."

I have perfected the "I know what you did, but this is our shared secret" look.; 3/14/17, 1:06 PM
rehajm said...: I did when i was in my 20's is picked up a guy in the Boston Commons

It's singular- Boston Common.; 3/14/17, 1:06 PM
bagoh20 said...: I'm self employed in my own building, and I would never think of having sex here. OK, I think about it plenty, but respect for coworkers informs me that I need to wait... until I get in the car.; 3/14/17, 1:06 PM
bagoh20 said...: ""But how awkward it will be the next time you have to deal with this person."

Do you shake his hand?; 3/14/17, 1:07 PM
rehajm said...: I doubt the allowable uses for the space or the time include having sex, unless the thing you are teaching is Sex Ed.

Since someone is going to post it eventually anyways..

Also...NSFW!; 3/14/17, 1:08 PM
Titus said...: I really feel like I am contributing to the Althouse community today which makes me feel special and respected and admired.; 3/14/17, 1:11 PM
Anonymous said...: "But how awkward it will be the next time you have to deal with this person."
-------
"Do you shake his hand?"
-------
I'd be tempted to give him a moist anti bacterial towelette first.; 3/14/17, 1:12 PM
Bilwick said...: Oh, so masturbating in the office is a crime now?; 3/14/17, 1:15 PM
bagoh20 said...: What if masturbation is what you do best?

I bet you can't fire an elementary school teacher for masturbating at work.; 3/14/17, 1:21 PM
Scott said...: So, do you charge the sex to the project you're working on, or do you put it in departmental accural?; 3/14/17, 1:28 PM
JPS said...: William Chadwick,

"Oh, so masturbating in the office is a crime now?"

It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.; 3/14/17, 1:29 PM
Scott said...: Or if you're a lawyer, is the sex billable?; 3/14/17, 1:31 PM
Scott said...: Or masturbating in a hotel lobby.; 3/14/17, 1:31 PM
traditionalguy said...: I always wondered about the proud lawyers who built or designed their new law firm office and showed me their private bathroom with a shower in it. They implied they worked all night and needed it.

But as I recall most of them ended up using the shower stall for extra file box storage. And they stayed married longer.

And now many States are making Lawyer sex with clients an ethical offense. Damn Bible Thumpers.; 3/14/17, 1:35 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "I have had sex with someone in every office I have worked in except my current office. I have always had an office with a door (and sweeping views natch)."

Well, did you close the blinds?

And do you have a telescope to see what's happening in the other offices that have sweeping views like they have for you?; 3/14/17, 1:52 PM
Ann Althouse said...: Lots of "NO!" votes.

I wonder if all the "NO!"s would also say "NO!" to having sex outdoors somewhere, even if they were sure no one was around or almost 100% sure.; 3/14/17, 1:55 PM
wwww said...: I wonder if all the "NO!"s would also say "NO!" to having sex outdoors somewhere, even if they were sure no one was around or almost 100% sure.

Is it your own property, surrounded by trees? Then sure, go for it!! Jonathan Coulton First of May and all that.

Is it in a park where a kid could come toddling along the path? then No!! No, No, No!!

In the office? No! Not unless it's actually _your_ office. As in, not unless you're paying the rent and it's a completely private space. If you're an employee, then NO! It's not your office.

If it's the University office, not an appropriate place to take the missus for a date!!!

Pro Tip: It's also not your computer. Don't put anything personal on it.; 3/14/17, 2:05 PM
William said...: There's a hint of mint about a guy who gets caught repeatedly and by multiple people. Turtle on the fencepost or Weiner on snap chat dynamic. Exposure is the gratification, and wanking is the means. Safer and saner than giving blowjobs to random strangers in public restrooms, but still not a fetish worthy of indulgence. Maybe if he dressed up as a furry animal prior to wanking, he would appear more appealing and sympathetic to random witnesses.; 3/14/17, 2:12 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Ann Althouse said...It's obviously in bad taste to let anyone know you are having sex — alone or with someone else — in your office. But if you are in your own space, behind a closed door, and somebody else happens to walk in on you, shouldn't that person immediately leave and act is if the intrusion never happened? At worst, the intruder should quickly apologize, get out, and say no more.

What happened to giving credence to people who feel a certain way in response to a given stimulus, Professor? You're now saying the people upset and emotionally harmed by witnessing a Professor cranking one out, several times, and/or knowing that's happening shouldn't feel the way they feel? Or don't have a right to feel that way?
Look, a dude staring at a woman from across the room can be guilty of creating a hostile work environment. If a woman says she feels that way she has a "right to be believed," right? Since that's the standard masturbating in one's office has to count, too.

It's crazy, now, to say "a reasonable person wouldn't be offended by this and wouldn't think this creates a hostile environment." That's not the standard we, as a society, use now. "People should mind their own business" absolutely does not work--that's not the standard!

Owen said...Clearly a case for Title IX Compliance Team. This guy was committing sexual assault on himself and apparently there are many witnesses.

Lots of sticky issues of consent here, for sure.; 3/14/17, 2:17 PM
holdfast said...: On the desk of a disliked boss, during a Halloween party. Then wiped up with his T-shirt.

Then felt kinda bad and took the T-shirt home with me and laundered it for him.

That sort of prank was not uncommon.

The T-shirt was olive green.; 3/14/17, 2:23 PM
Original Mike said...: "How do you manage to see somebody masturbating in his office? It seems like an invasion of privacy. Was there an exhibitionist aspect to this, leaving a door open? I don't get i"

Simple. We faculty were dismayed that our new offices in the Wisconsin Institute of Medical Research had glass panels instead of a wall (I couldn't change out of my long underwear anymore affer I got in from walking to work).

You had an office with walls, Althouse. Check your privilege.; 3/14/17, 2:28 PM
wwww said...: I could imagine another poll making the property distinction, but it would explore another matter of inquiry. Does anyone want to talk about the acceptability of a business proprietor having sex in his private office as distinguished from the acceptability of non-owner employees having sex in their private office?

It's unprofessional, but not disgusting, for someone to have sex in their office if they (1) don't have co-workers they interact with in or around that office and (2) don't have any clients they see in the office.

It's beyond rude to have sex in an office where co-workers may stumble upon it or become aware of it.

It does point to the idea that Bill Clinton should not have had sex with Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office. But I'd say the reason for that is that she was an underling employee. If Bill wanted to have sex with Hillary Clinton in the Oval Office, would that be wrong? If it's wrong, it's because it's such an important place and there's some sacred trust and dignity should be preserved there. (Like, get your feet off the sofa.) It's not because Bill didn't OWN the Oval Office. He didn't own the White House bedrooms either, but surely, he could have sex there.

No to the Oval Office, yes to the domestic space.

You don't own a hotel room, but you rent it for domestic purposes. The domestic space of the White House or a Governor's Mansion is being leased by the taxpayers to the family for domestic purposes.; 3/14/17, 2:30 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Is it your own property, surrounded by trees? Then sure, go for it!! Jonathan Coulton First of May and all that. Is it in a park where a kid could come toddling along the path? then No!! No, No, No!!"

It's easy to identify the ends of the spectrum. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you're out in the woods somewhere -- maybe in a state park or something -- and you think there's no one around. And you're not inside a tent or other enclosure. Maybe it's nighttime.; 3/14/17, 2:42 PM
MaxedOutMama said...: If at least three different people have seen him whooping it up with himself in his office, this is not accidental but something else. Unless the office door is locked, an office is generally something of a public space. The mandate of having sex in private spaces (or your office with a locked door) is not something that's an abridgement of individual rights.

I assume the man in question has some sort of thing about public sex. But it is not appropriate behavior in a work environment.; 3/14/17, 2:51 PM
jaed said...: I imagine the situation of outdoors sex in terms of how I'd react if someone came upon us. (No snickering.) Could I/we reasonably be indignant at the invasion of privacy? Or would we be abashed, rushing to get into clothes? Indignation is more dignified than shamed rapid dressing.

Basically, if a hypothetical someone else could reasonably be yelled at, OK. If the hypothetical someone else could more reasonably yell at us, no. Unless the chances of someone else showing up are so low that they can reasonably be disregarded, in which case it's just like being in private.

The age of camera-bearing drones may change this, also. Not to mention satellite pictures.; 3/14/17, 2:53 PM
jaed said...: Do you shake his hand?

Was he using his hand? Or mechanical assistance?; 3/14/17, 2:54 PM
n.n said...: Out of the closet, outside the bedroom, away from the cover of a desk.; 3/14/17, 2:55 PM
southcentralpa said...: Technically, my answer is "NO!!", but only because there's no box for "I've never had an office" with a follow-up answer of "What's WRONG with you people" to the follow-up question "What do you think of people having sex in offices?".; 3/14/17, 2:55 PM
bagoh20 said...: Once, a long time ago, I was having sex with my then girlfriend in Griffith Park (a very public park in L.A.) Midday, we found a secluded grassy area surrounded by trees, put a blanket down had some wine, then got to it. I was behind her, you know, when I heard some rustling in the bushes behind us. I turned around and this guy is maybe 20 feet behind me watching and smiling. I don't say anything, because I want to continue more than I want privacy, but I know that if my gal sees him, it's all over, so I'm kind of franticly waving him off to get lost. He just gives me the OK sign and motions for me to just keep at it. I had my priorities straight, so I finished my work. After that, I turned and he was gone. I didn't tell her until we were on the way home. She said "thanks", and I think she really meant it, becuase otherwise it would have ruined a fabulous day. I actually forgot about that until this discussion. Thanks Althouse. Memories like that should not be lost.; 3/14/17, 2:59 PM
wwww said...: It's easy to identify the ends of the spectrum. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you're out in the woods somewhere -- maybe in a state park or something -- and you think there's no one around. And you're not inside a tent or other enclosure. Maybe it's nighttime.

I'm inclined to make a joke about getting bit on the ass by a racoon or something else in the vicinity. Doesn't seem like the best idea. But if other people aren't likely to appear, it's not rude in the same way. Not entirely appropriate, but not disgusting/rude.

I suppose I think there must be at least a small potentiality that others will become aware of the situation for it to become rude and/ or disgusting.; 3/14/17, 3:00 PM
robother said...: For the record, NO! (I can't believe Ann runs a poll like this in the very week we discover the extent of NSA surveillance.)

I take it that Bill Clinton would also answer this question in the negative, relying on his defining quality as a lawyer.; 3/14/17, 3:36 PM
tcrosse said...: Who owns the woods, and what time do the student office hours start?
Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village, though.
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with....; 3/14/17, 3:49 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: "It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane."

Just watched The Hangover.; 3/14/17, 3:53 PM
Owen said...: "...I'm talking about you're out in the woods somewhere..."

Whose woods these are, I think I know;
His house is in the village, though.
He will not see us stopping here
To hump and grunt and puff and blow.

My playmate says she thinks it queer
To couple with no cover near...
Etc etc; 3/14/17, 3:54 PM
Otto said...: Well i never had sex in the classroom. AA you have been in the classroom your whole career,and a professed feminist with strong strain of nostalgie de la boue so it begs the question did you have sex in the classroom?; 3/14/17, 3:57 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: "Blogger Titus said...
I really feel like I am contributing to the Althouse community today which makes me feel special and respected and admired."

This is your time. Your moment to shine. You were meant to be here, now. Every moment of your life has led up to this day. SEIZE IT!; 3/14/17, 3:58 PM
John said...: robother said: "I take it that Bill Clinton would also answer this question in the negative, relying on his defining quality as a lawyer."

All depends on the definition of "no" of course.; 3/14/17, 4:14 PM
John said...: AA said: "I'm talking about you're out in the woods somewhere -- maybe in a state park or something -- and you think there's no one around. And you're not inside a tent or other enclosure. Maybe it's nighttime."

Sounds like some reminiscing about a recent trip to several national parks that someone visited. Maybe a little guilt starting to form???; 3/14/17, 4:18 PM
Lucien said...: I think Scott should win the thread for use of the phrase "defacatory repose", and for the later "Darling Nikki" allusion.; 3/14/17, 5:15 PM
William said...: In the sacristy and even more so in the confessional chamber, a priest should have a reasonable expectation of privacy and not be held to account by a bunch of prudes. This is true also of Presidents in the Oval Office. More discretion is appropriate in the Rose Garden although, ironically, it's a more informal and romantic setting.; 3/14/17, 5:26 PM
William said...: After a certain age don't most people have sex only in bed, and, generally, after a shower and some pre-op prep.; 3/14/17, 5:31 PM
Big Mike said...: Well before the time I was senior enough to have an office I was a married man. So "NO!" to both.; 3/14/17, 5:32 PM
Fernandinande said...: Maybe this guy is being discriminated against because of his sexual orientation.

Scott said...
I was in defecatory repose ...

AKA "excremeditation".; 3/14/17, 5:51 PM
Meade said...: I tried sex on the beach once but I didn't care for it. Too fruity sweet.; 3/14/17, 6:41 PM
Michael K said...: "Sure, it's only sex with yourself - but get a grip and do it at home. geeez.

Great comment !

Should you relax the grip on the way home or just go for and hope you make it in time ?

Woody Allen, "At least masturbating you're having sex with someone who really loves you."; 3/14/17, 7:33 PM
MD Greene said...: www:

You are not the only person who has imagined having a tryst in nature. Many others have acted on this impulse.

It probably is best to do so in a more rural location than, say, Golden Gate Park.

Titus:

Thank you for sharing. One's 20s are the times for new adventures.; 3/14/17, 8:31 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: Girl with the Pony Tail on the Treadmill:

Ewww.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

At the office today I went into the Ladies' restroom, and then: Ewww.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Two people were having sex in one of the stalls.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I left right away, but I recognized the shoes.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

The red pumps were Amanda's.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

There was toilet paper stuck to her heel. Ha.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

And the loafers were the Vice-President of Sales.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

God, he's gross. Does his wife not tell him about that ear hair? I can't help but stare at it when we're in meetings.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

And dude, give it a rest on the comb-over. It's embarrassing.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

The guy has a comb-over and he drives a convertible. THAT is who is trusted to make big decisions for our company. Great.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

But I guess I now know why Amanda can afford an Audi.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

And then I had to see them later, and pretend I didn't know anything.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

I hate having to do that shit.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

If you're having Secret Sex than keep it a damn Secret, okay?

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Boink away AFTER everyone's gone home. Tell the wife you'll be late for dinner, that's all.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

At least don't walk around afterward with your zipper down, right?

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

It's not like I don't notice him staring at my ass all the time.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Now I know he probably wants to fuck ME in the bathroom.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Ewww.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Not even for an Audi, dude.

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

(pony-tail swish, pony-tail swish)

Not even for an Audi.

I am Laslo.; 3/14/17, 9:10 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: Yancey Ward said...
"I can't wait for Laslo to visit this blog entry..." 12:23 PM

Sorry for the wait, Yancey.

I am Laslo.; 3/14/17, 9:12 PM
Bob Loblaw said...: Heh heh. My best friend from college actually got fired for this. They were having sex on his desk in the evening and he heard a sharp intake of breath. He looked over his shoulder and there was the cleaning lady. The lady (on the desk, not the cleaning lady) wondered if they should stop, but he said no, whatever they're going to do they'll do whether or not we finish.

His boss wasn't going to *do* anything, but when he dawdled the cleaning service went to the CEO and pushed the issue.; 3/14/17, 9:42 PM
Anonymous said...: My, Professor Black, that's a big . . . fish you've got there. (See photo with article.); 3/14/17, 10:35 PM
Anonymous said...: Seriously, I can't believe this nonsense is the concern of the federal government.; 3/14/17, 10:39 PM
Ipso Fatso said...: Gives new meaning to the term Department Head.; 3/14/17, 10:44 PM
Ipso Fatso said...: Anybody else think that Titus, as funny and homo-y as he is, is in reality a right wing, Christian, former Marine, hog farmer from Iowa?; 3/14/17, 10:46 PM
Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...: It is your office only if you own the company.

The Oval Office not Bill Clinton's office. It was the People's building, bailed to Clinton for a specific purposes.; 3/15/17, 5:24 AM
mishu said...: Does a home office count?; 3/15/17, 9:55 AM
Bad Lieutenant said...: Ipso Fatso said...
Anybody else think that Titus, as funny and homo-y as he is, is in reality a right wing, Christian, former Marine, hog farmer from Iowa?

3/14/17, 10:46 PM

Shut-in living in his mom's basement. He'd be gay if it meant that someone would play with him.

He writes about sex like Isaac Asimov wrote about violence.; 3/15/17, 2:06 PM