It's one thing for someone who knows and loves me to include me in a discussion, as John sometimes does, but I do not accept someone starting a new post and aiming it at me through the use of a tag where it is on some political topic that they seem to think they can summon me to talk about, especially when they have created the appearance that I am answerable to something because of what I wrote in another place. Talk to me in that other place! By starting a new post about something ugly and tagging me as if it relates to me, you are bullying me. Tagging like this is wrong. If you didn't realize that before, I forgive you for what you did. But you need to think hard about how to use Facebook tags. They can be experienced as hostile. That's what happened to me.
(Cross-posted with Facebook, which I have set to private. I'm not seeking additional friends there.)
November 22, 2016
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By starting a new post about something ugly and tagging me as if it relates to me, you are bullying me.
Oh noes. Civility bullshit!
Remember when you said we don't need no stinkin' civility? That was like 3 posts down.
Big Brother is always interested in what you have to say, Ann. You can't UnFriend him.
And facebook needs to die. It is a terrible company run by awful people who skin deep are fascists.
I guess your Facebook settings were open to the public or at least to other Facebook users. So you wanted to be seen by all but still have control over the conversations others want to engage you in. I guess you can't have both.
I don't do politics on Facebook. I like it for family, travel and hobby things. And funny dog pictures, of course.
If my friends (real friends, not Facebook friends) didn't tag me, I'd never go there. I have a Facebook page, but it's strictly for ease of login purposes. I never post anything there.
Keep in mind that your son John's FB is not private, so anyone can comment on his posts that are on YOUR timeline. With the interweaving of his stuff on your blog, that could cause issues.
"I guess your Facebook settings were open to the public or at least to other Facebook users. So you wanted to be seen by all but still have control over the conversations others want to engage you in. I guess you can't have both."
No, as I say in the post. My Facebook is set to private. This is something that happened within my set of friends.
I haven't played tag for years.
John uses Facebook like a blog. An excellent blog. I have this blog and it works the way I like. I use Facebook to comment and to put up an occasional friendly post, maybe a photo or a YouTube video I like.
The Althouse outrage sound is familiar, though.
You never know what will set it off; a new Althouse thing is discovered.
Probably they can mostly be reduced to a compact explanation, the question being: what.
A cross-platform calls for cross-platform art.
Trump would know how to deal with it. He faces a hostile media all the time.
LOL 1:36
We have a few local Facebook "news" sites - whenever something big happens (accident, fire, etc.) there are always 25-50 people that just post a comment with their friends name, to alert that person. Of course, this is an annoyance to people trying to follow the post, because every time someone does that, it adds to the stack of comments. The proper thing to do is "share" it to your friends timeline. Anyway, awhile ago I created a fake account for political purposes - gives me access to some of the local groups that are quite liberal. I use that one to "like" every comment that just consists of a tag. My fake account it pretty outrageous as to the content on the timeline - a normal person might assume I am some crazy lesbian cat lover person that was all in for Clinton (& Sanders early on). Of course, the liberal types would see me as one of their own. Anyway, when I "like" the comment that oonsists of just a tag, I figure a few people are curious enough to click back to see who I am.
A few times, when the sites have announced some kind of crime or arrest of an unnamed suspect, I have jumped in early on to those comments with the names and asked if the commenter is saying that is the person who is the suspect.
You should have your tagging set to require your approval before the tag is active. This is how everyone in my family has theirs set up.
Somewhat related, but I tried convincing my office to adopt a radical records retention policy by having all our communications done by snapchat. Sure, it'd suck if you needed a document from more than twenty seconds ago, but what a space saver.
This says a lot about what is happening to me. Do you mind if I share it on Facebook? Won't do it without your permission and will just say "from a blog post I read" if you do not want your name attached.
Megyn Kelly: What I find odd in Hollywood is that they didn’t like Trump b/c he was a bully, but if you were for Trump you got bullied.
rhhardin said...
The Althouse outrage sound is familiar, though.
You never know what will set it off; a new Althouse thing is discovered.
Just don't request civility.
I hate the tagging too.
I try and remain as apolitical as possible on fb, though sometimes I can't resist a comment when someone is really living in a fantasyland. I'm surprised at how many people get offended when they get a minuscule amount of pushback on their political hot takes.
What happens when more and more people find out their Facebook accounts are not made as much for their own use, but instead are designed for the use of other people, corporations, and groups?
If you have a Facebook account, you are part of the product of Facebook, not a customer.
@mikee I am not a Facebooker, but I think you struck right to the heart of the problem. Go on Facebook and it seems you are nothing but a tool for someone else to make money with. That is not an attractive reason for giving up what little privacy I have.
I'm happy Google provides us a free space to hang out and share unsolicited comments with each other. Feel free to click the Amazon link on the sidebar for all your holiday shopping needs!
That there is a difference between public and blog Althouse has long been established and worth respecting.
I don't think Facebook is a free-speech zone, it's a way of connecting and sharing with others, more like a constant reunion. I have a lot of people hidden, because I don't need to see their daily goings on, and with Facebook Purity extension, I don't see ads, etc.
Which also means it's entirely acceptable just to delete posts or comments that clutter up a page. You can block people and as well as hide them.
It is easier to do this than try to manage everyone's social media faux pas or bullying.
This summer living in Nova Scotia I was bored and tried a Facebook experiment. I de-friended everybody. 750+ people. Then I sat back and waited to see how many people came looking for me. The answer is about 70 - 10% more or less. It made for a much more user friendly experience. I recommend it.
Several months ago I got tired of the deluge of political propaganda that was flooding my FB page, so I notified my FB friends that I would "unfollow" until after the election anyone who caused unsolicited political postings to appear on my account. As events transpired I ended up unfollowing about 20 people, pretty evenly split among the left side and the right side, and including my wife :). A week after the election I again "followed" those folks. All but two of them had pretty much moved on from the election, at least as far as the FB posts went, except for two rabid lefties (a sister-in-law and a peacenik/LBGT activist) who were still spraying spittal over Trump. So, I linked to that Scott Alexander article about "crying wolf" and merely said I found it worth reading, whereupon both of these lefties immediately unfriended me. I think unfollowing for a period is an approach worth emulating as it probably saved 18 (sorta) friendships by probably keeping them from enraging me and me from enraging them. I hadn't expected the side benefit of getting rid of the truly obnoxious ones without having to unfriend anyone, myself. It worked out so well I'm going to do this again for the next midterms.
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