Althouse: "Men, you’re faced these days with a dilemma—sometimes you actually do have to explain something, but how do you avoid being one of those annoying mansplainers?"

May 10, 2016

"Men, you’re faced these days with a dilemma—sometimes you actually do have to explain something, but how do you avoid being one of those annoying mansplainers?"

"These sample scripts provide some phrases that should help...."

54 comments:

Geoff Matthews said...: I say this with all due respect, but screw you. Get a thicker skin.; 5/10/16, 1:49 PM
JAORE said...: Men are facing a dilemma. Do we laugh in your face or tell you to piss up a rope?; 5/10/16, 1:53 PM
JackOfClubs said...: I detect several layers of irony here, but I am not sure at which level the author is operating. I am going to assume that she is laughing along with me at the whole scenario of a woman womansplaining to men how not to mansplain and leave it at that.; 5/10/16, 1:53 PM
Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of New York said...: Simple, you don't be annoying while explaining something. It's not that hard. Mansplaining is nothing but an invention of people who seek to delegitimze men in the culture. We men know that the culture will not long survive without us and that our work is not thanked in publicly recognized ways, since we are men, we are fine with that.; 5/10/16, 1:54 PM
Geoff Matthews said...: I should add that my comment above isn't directed towards the proprietor towards this blog, but to anyone who complains about 'mansplaining'.
In case that wasn't obvious.; 5/10/16, 1:54 PM
n.n said...: A chauvinist is a chauvinist is a chauvinist. Perhaps The New Yorker needs the concept explained.; 5/10/16, 1:57 PM
buwaya said...: Sounds like engineering school.
Nearly all men (95% at least in my case)
We were all mansplained to.; 5/10/16, 2:00 PM
fivewheels said...: All my 'splainin is man-splaining, baby.; 5/10/16, 2:02 PM
Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of New York said...: If women showed the tiniest interest in learning how stuff works when they were kids, they wouldn't be so mystified all the time by stuff. I have never explained anything to anybody, in my real life anyway, where I wasn't asked, and people ask me to explain stuff a lot.

I bought an unabridged dictionary and made a rule that people use it and nobody could ask me about scrabble words ever again.; 5/10/16, 2:02 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: Men, you’re faced these days with a dilemma—sometimes you actually do have to explain something...

No, I do not. Sometimes you need something explained. Like now. So I'll explain. When I explain something, I'm not the one in need. You are. Therefore I'm not the one who needs to go out of their way to not offend somebody.; 5/10/16, 2:02 PM
damikesc said...: Don't want to be mansplained?

Don't womanask.; 5/10/16, 2:09 PM
buwaya said...: We had a Philippine Marine Corps drill sergeant who was an expert at mansplaining.
Nearly everyone got it the first time, if they knew what was good for them.
If you didn't get it the first time, he mansplained a bit more carefully.; 5/10/16, 2:12 PM
traditionalguy said...: The need for this lesson is strong today.

Let me explain: Being right is a basic survival skill. But also being followed loyally by the Women in your life requires knowing when to withdraw yourself from your position to keep the women on your side. Feminism has always meant telling women that they have a choice to abandon men who hurt them, and that they get that right by having their own independent financial position.

Or you can live with a dog.; 5/10/16, 2:14 PM
Char Char Binks, Esq. said...: It's the height of arrogance for a man to think he can explain things to a woman in a way she'll understand.; 5/10/16, 2:16 PM
Rae said...: I always start with "Listen, Snowflake..."

It doesn't work as well as you would think.; 5/10/16, 2:25 PM
Todd said...: For women that don't wish to be "mansplained" to (a word that really just means having sh*t explained to you by a man), why not save us all a lot of trouble and just ask another woman?

Oh, what? You don't know any other women that know this particular stuff? Sucks to be you...; 5/10/16, 2:26 PM
Nichevo said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 5/10/16, 2:30 PM
Rick said...: Is there a phrase to describe something that men and women both do but is considered offensive only when men do it? There has to be a German word for it.; 5/10/16, 2:33 PM
rehajm said...: but how do you avoid being one of those annoying mansplainers?

Discerning taste in company.; 5/10/16, 2:34 PM
bagoh20 said...: Remember, it's the person asking the questions who is in control.

If you don't know I'm a man, is it mansplaining?; 5/10/16, 2:35 PM
Wilbur said...: I have to confess, I read that piece, and did not understand a single concept in it, nor the structure of it (all those phrases in parentheses were seemingly unrelated to the upper phrases) nor from where the humor was supposed to emanate.

Can someone (dare I say it) mansplain it to me?

I reckon I'm just not that hip. Or that smart.; 5/10/16, 2:41 PM
Sam L. said...: You asked my opinion or explanation. I can explain it to you, but i can't understand it for you. Here it is.; 5/10/16, 2:42 PM
Bill Peschel said...: Thank heavens it explained at the top of the story that it was "Humor."

With The New Yorker, it's hard to tell.; 5/10/16, 2:43 PM
mtrobertslaw said...: I think, but I'm not sure, that the barrel of the gun should be pointed at the target. It looks like to me like, and I maybe wrong, that you have the barrel pointing at your shoulder. But, hey, if your comfortable holding it like that, that's ok with me.; 5/10/16, 2:45 PM
Curious George said...: "On second thought, don't worry your pretty little head. I'll take care of it. Just make me a sammich"; 5/10/16, 2:49 PM
Rusty said...: Usually, when I have to explain something to an engineer, I put it in the simplest, easy to understand terms that I can.; 5/10/16, 3:01 PM
mikee said...: I advocate the Ron Swanson method: "When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."; 5/10/16, 3:03 PM
MisterBuddwing said...: I say this with all due respect, but screw you. Get a thicker skin.

Thicker skin how? By talking back, or by meekly accepting the "Shut up, he explained" approach?

If the former, I'm sure the woman will be duly respected as a man-hating bitch.

If the latter, all's well that ends well, occasional ulcers notwithstanding.

One wonders what a *real* man is supposed to do if he feels he's being talked down to by another man (especially a man in position of authority, like a boss)?; 5/10/16, 3:23 PM
jr565 said...: "Men, you’re faced these days with a dilemma—sometimes you actually do have to explain something, but how do you avoid being one of those annoying mansplainers?",

Why are women never accused of womensplaining?; 5/10/16, 3:27 PM
rhhardin said...: Ask me how a gyroscope works.; 5/10/16, 3:28 PM
jr565 said...: Do transgender women who identify as men mansplain or womansplain? Does it matter if they've had transition surgery yet?; 5/10/16, 3:28 PM
rhhardin said...: Ask me why low pressure areas bring rain and high pressure areas bring clear.; 5/10/16, 3:28 PM
rhhardin said...: Man abstract until they figure stuff out. Women complicate.; 5/10/16, 3:29 PM
Rae said...: Is it sexist if you accuse a trans man of mansplaining? Is it not sexist if you call it transplaining?; 5/10/16, 3:29 PM
Meade said...: "Can someone (dare I say it) mansplain it to me?"

Heh heh. Ah Wilbur, ya big lug. Of course no one can mansplain it to you. You're a man. What you need is dialogue and discourse with a gal who can femeducate you. Good luck.

Now here's some EXplaining from one man to a bunch of his thick man friends:

You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog. And I'm a fat, ugly man. Well, all I know is I had a good time last night. I'm gonna have a good time tonight. If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees. I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me. If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad.; 5/10/16, 3:31 PM
Doug said...: You either get it or you don't ... I'm not explaining jack shit if it is going to offend feminist sensibilities. You know how Google works? Good, adios.
And what Curious George said at 2:49; 5/10/16, 3:47 PM
Ann Althouse said...: We thought it was very funny here at Meadhouse.

Those of you who didn't find it funny... did it set you off for some reason? Are you wound tight about the age-old problem of men over-explaining things to women? I hope it's not that you have a mansplaining problem and you're in denial.; 5/10/16, 4:16 PM
campy said...: "Are you wound tight about the age-old problem of men over-explaining things to women?"

Not me; my issue is that I'm thoroughly disgusted about the age-old problem of women over-complaining about every damn thing.; 5/10/16, 4:23 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Some people know things that other people don't know. Often it is a man who knows the stuff....often it is a woman. Asking a question might automatically put you into an inferior, as in know knowing, role. Knowing and explaining automatically puts you into a superior, as in teaching role.

Some people are better teachers or explainers. It doesn't always have to do with gender or sex. It is that some people are more able to communicate concisely.

Not being able to understand the concepts given to you by a man doesn't mean that he is "mansplaining" or trying to denigrate you. It might mean that he isn't a good communicator. It also might mean that you JUST aren't going to be able to grasp the concept no matter who explains it or how many time it is explained.

Laughing at stupid people of any gender is the correct thing to do.; 5/10/16, 4:27 PM
Wilbur said...: Thanks, Meade.
I'd ask my wife to explain it to me but she's barely intelligible in English as is (a feature, not a bug, for my third marriage) and at this point it just ain't worth the trouble.
I was never aware there WAS a problem of men over-explaining things to women. I always thought the overarching complaint was that men never talked enough.; 5/10/16, 4:31 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: Grrr...inferior as in NOT knowing.; 5/10/16, 4:34 PM
buwaya said...: "Are you wound tight about the age-old problem of men over-explaining things to women?"

Oddly, I spend a lot of time explaining things to men (and a few women). I live and die by the whiteboard - hey, we are both teachers, but I think my class sizes are way smaller.
This thing has never come up for me in practice. It is a strange custom you report from exotic places.; 5/10/16, 4:36 PM
Nichevo said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 5/10/16, 5:14 PM
Gahrie said...: I was never aware there WAS a problem of men over-explaining things to women. I always thought the overarching complaint was that men never talked enough.

It's not the amount that has been the problem, it's the lack of submissiveness....; 5/10/16, 5:18 PM
Gahrie said...: Do you know why men get on their knees to propose? Because that's where the woman expects him to be for the rest of the marriage.; 5/10/16, 5:22 PM
Howard said...: Apparently, we need to go back to: "don't worry your pretty little head about it"; 5/10/16, 5:33 PM
JAORE said...: Those of you who didn't find it funny... did it set you off for some reason? ... I hope it's not that you have a mansplaining problem and you're in denial.

No, I'm pretty sure it's because it didn't make me laugh. Unless you are the official arbiter of funny, I'm sticking with that.; 5/10/16, 7:39 PM
jr565 said...: "Are you wound tight about the age-old problem of men over-explaining things to women? " Are women wound tight about the age old problem of men having to explain things to them? I'm sure men would love to not mansplain as much to women, but apparently their small brains require constant instruction.; 5/10/16, 8:18 PM
Fabi said...: If the listener weren't bogged down in trying to decipher the gender-intersectional, patriarchal-dynamic of the fucking situation and would simply be grateful for the explanation, then we wouldn't have unserious discussions such as these.; 5/10/16, 9:57 PM
jaydub said...: I'm disappointed that Laslo didn't contribute on this. The author's format is a huge softball, and I was expecting him to step up to the plate and hit it out of the park.; 5/10/16, 11:54 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: "You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog. And I'm a fat, ugly man. Well, all I know is I had a good time last night. I'm gonna have a good time tonight. If we have enough good times together, I'm gonna get down on my knees. I'm gonna beg that girl to marry me. If we make a party on New Year's, I got a date for that party. You don't like her? That's too bad."

I love that movie! And this link.; 5/10/16, 11:55 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: The line for the women's restroom is long at Target this evening, so I'm feeling a little gender fluid and would be happy to mansplain. A lot of these reactions seem to be to the headline.; 5/10/16, 11:58 PM
jg said...: :) for freeman.

a lot of reactions these days are to the headline and thumbnail

it's dangerous to click. you might get lost out there. some promote the art of "open in new tab (cmd+click)", but then you're faced with the sobering realization hours or days later that you thought that stupid crap was worth clicking on. hell is other tabs.; 5/11/16, 1:52 AM
sean said...: Never explain anything. It just annoys people. My preferred response to questions is to say, "You went to law school, figure it out." (For paralegals and my daughter, substitute "college" for "law school."); 5/11/16, 5:34 AM