"After divorce, your ex still has your words in her head. She could change into someone you get along with a lot better."

"Also, you might change. You could become more confident and reconnected to important parts of yourself once you’re no longer locked in the adversarial position-taking that often develops in a bad marriage. That confidence or clarity can translate into being more generous and magnanimous of spirit, more accepting.”

From "You Married Them Once, but What About Twice?" (in the NYT).