"... she intentionally under-dressed her kid in public so she could tell people off for commenting on it."
That's the highest rated comment on a Slate article called "No, Busybody Strangers of the World, My Baby Is Not Cold/Winter is prime time for a certain brand of parental concern-trolling."
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30 comments:
It definitely has the whiff of "I need content."
I'd call it a "First World Problem" but that doesn't really convey the pettiness.
Giving your sleeping baby the finger and then thinking it's cute to memorialize it in a picture and posting it on social media? This woman is a loon. What a nice loving picture to show the child when it grows up. However, extreme fatigue is truly rough after having a baby. As for the baby being underdressed in cold weather, eh I trust the moms to pretty much know their child well enough to know if they are uncomfortable. For the truly negligent mother, one must simply hope they survive their infancy and childhood. A thought, maybe Ms.Schuman's baby is so hard to get to sleep and seems to want to sleep on her is because she's....cold.
I doubt any of her story is true.
A columnist for Slate complaining about busybodies. The Onion just ought to close shop.
Whatever happened to a non-committal Okay as a response.
Not every comment by a stranger warrants in-depth thought. Attribute good intentions to perfect strangers and adjust your viewpoint accordingly.
"I doubt any of her story is true."
Ah, but it is based on actual events. Close enough or Slate.
It definitely has the whiff of "I need content."
I think maybe a lot of problems would go away if it weren't for the constant need to feed content to the internet's insatiable maw.
What ever happened to "It takes a Village?" Is that now out of fashion at Slate?
She uses the term concern trolling as if it just means being concerned in an annoying way.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it meant pretending to be concerned about one thing, while really trying to promote a different, often opposing, agenda. Usually used in reference to offering political "advice" to someone who's politics you oppose.
Help me make a Slate CW parody list:
-Columbus was an asshole
-1 year paid maternal leave is a right, am I right, sisters who graduated from top tier schools with literature majors?
-more crime dramas with kickass lady-cops, please!
-Why lady-cops need to be more feminine, and why that's ok!
-What Obama just said about locally-sourced, organic mommy blogging and why it's the next big thing...
What ever happened to "It takes a Village?"
The Village is there to indoctrinate the wingnuts' children.
Damn, I clicked on the link before I realized it was Slate.
How does one person state with authority that another is not cold?
I thought it took a village. This is the village contributing.
Ambrose said...
What ever happened to "It takes a Village?" Is that now out of fashion at Slate?
It's not enough that the village exist. Each villager must act exactly as approved. Isn't it interesting that one demand always leads to another?
Ah, yes, mommy-blogging, the province of mothers who believe that motherhood is not only primarily, but exclusively, about themselves.
Once when my four-year-old daughter and I were riding on the bus, an old woman told me she should get up and give the woman her seat. I replied, "What are you doing on the bus anyway? Did you lose your broomstick?"
Actually, only the first part happened. The second part is l'esprit d'escalier, suggested by my sister. I waited for years for an old woman to say something bossy to us, so I could use it, but it never happened again.
I think she's just mad that those people referred to her daughter as "him".
I don't know where all of these busybodies are. I have three (now grown) children and don't recall any negative comments from strangers about my parenting (how they were dressed, how they were behaving, what they were eating...).
I can think of four possible reasons:
- Maybe people where I live have better manners.
- Maybe I'm just 5'2" of pure intimidation and they don't dare comment to me.
- It could be that they said something and I just ignored them and immediately forgot about it, because who cares what strangers think?
- And lastly, and most likely, I just did everything perfectly./s
Mommy culture is gross. Soiled diapers are the least of it.
It could be that they said something and I just ignored them and immediately forgot about it, because who cares what strangers think?
This can't be stated with enough frequency: Why do you care what other people think?
If some stranger comes up offering you advice, why on God's Green Earth do you think they're right about anything? Why assume they're an expert?
Have faith in your own abilities!
Someone hit that? Ugh.
"don't recall any negative comments from strangers about my parenting"
I think it is much more common these days. Online and in person. I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and there are definitely busy-bodies and whole networks of hyper-obsessed parents who feed into each others neuroses so they think they know it all. My kids hate wearing shoes and toss them off when they get a chance. Sometimes it's cold. They both deal with the cold (California defined) very well.
From car seats to how you carry/travel with them, etc. and so on, ad nauseum, there's often someone with a disapproving look and comment. Which is fine, I'm judging them right back for being irritating and for not having as cute and as healthy kids as mine.
Mommy Microagressions Make Me Mad: Busybody Bitches Butting in is Bad.
I find myself wanting to ask this author whether they support "free range parenting or whether they are in the typical Slate camp who supports jailing parents who (gasp) let their kids walk to the park without supervision.
"... who cares what strangers think?"
Oh to have that level of mental health spread across the land.
I agree with the woman. Although children need to be kept AT THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE RANGE, that doesn't alway mean they need more clothing. She mentioned kids big noggins giving off more heat, and their susceptibility to hypothermia, and I grant that, but I had a great tolerance for cold while growing up as a skinny kid in a big, drafty Wisconsin house with parents who were stingy on the heat.
I also had a sister who believed children, especially sick children, needed to be kept warm. Her baby daughter once had an earache, so my stupid sister and her stupid husband kept her bundled up, out of an abundance of concern. Unfortunately, the baby also had a FEVER, and it was a very hot, humid day in the middle of summer in a house with no A/C. I tried telling her she didn't need the blankets and warm clothing, but she wouldn't listen. The kid wailed non-stop till I finally screamed, "She doesn't need to kept warm! It's 95 fucking degrees! You're boiling her brain!" I swear the kid ended up with brain damage.
There are ascending levels of I Don't Care here, and I'm at the top level, not caring all the way down.
I wish I could get paid to say "Fuck Off."
I'd be rich--'cause i say it ALL THE TIME!
Or course, i couldn't just say it then, could I? I'd have to write a loooong article (that I wouldn't bother reading myself).
Let me know if you want to send me money for this outstanding comment.
All the Villagers are from that Sixties show the Prisoner don't you know?Especially those that care about what people on slate write.
Once when my four-year-old daughter and I were riding on the bus, an old woman told me she should get up and give the woman her seat. I replied, "What are you doing on the bus anyway? Did you lose your broomstick?" - sean
Jeezum Crow sean?
I refused to offer a seat to an elderly woman on the bus, so that was good, but dammit! I missed a chance to call her a witch!
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