Althouse: "This sounds like so terrible an idea that it almost has to be a joke — parents seriously proposing to give their daughter a large amount of money because she's a girl..."

September 9, 2015

"This sounds like so terrible an idea that it almost has to be a joke — parents seriously proposing to give their daughter a large amount of money because she's a girl..."

"... and thinking that this won't kill the relationship between the siblings plus render junior a lifetime MRA. Plus 'we have to give your sister a lot of money because the world beats up on women'... that seems like the privatization of a structural problem. I mean, you could say 'well, little boys are spoiled by the world, so who cares if he feels like his parents didn't love him as much? and men are largely useless as family members, so who cares if their relationship is ruined?' Or even 'the son has to accept his privilege and if he wants a relationship with his sister, he has to accept that his parents will be giving her investments to generate three million dollars — if he can't accept that, he's an [overprivileged] whiner.' But I just...I don't think that's how feelings work in families...."

Comment on a Metafilter post titled: "Saving for a daughter but not a son: This father is starting a fund to combat the the wage gap." Here's the underlying article at Elle, subtitled: "As Paul Ford's twins grew, he couldn't stand the fact that his daughter would always lag behind his son financially. Then he hatched a brilliant plan...."

106 comments:

Michael K said...: The father is probably a Democrat and the daughter will probably be a lefty and will need the money. The son will realize what an idiot his father is and will probably become a Republican and be OK.; 9/9/15, 9:59 AM
MadisonMan said...: That father has a whole lot to learn.

(1) My wish(es) for my kids have very very little to do with how much they earn, and even less with what they earn in comparison to their peers.

(2) Advice columns are littered with letters from angry children of parents who gave their sibling a better deal.

(3) Your children will not be doing as adults what you envisage them doing when they are 3. The workplace will change too much in 20-30 years, and you don't have the imagination to envisage what the future will be (even if you are a writer); 9/9/15, 10:01 AM
MadisonMan said...: I should add: That Dad is a control freak.; 9/9/15, 10:03 AM
Etienne said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/9/15, 10:08 AM
cubanbob said...: I started to read the article and couldn't continue with the leftist idiocy. The son will I suppose in time will sort himself out. The daughter my not since her parents have set her up as a special snowflake and thus just might make her too self entitled and spoiled and set her up for a fall although she just might realize how ideologically foolish her parents are and actually come out alright. On reflection they might as well have put up their son for adoption since it's more likely than not the son will grow up and eventually realized he was never really wanted and it's not likely he will ultimately have a good relationship with his parents and sister.; 9/9/15, 10:14 AM
jr565 said...: Women are going to college in far greater numbers than men.
Despite this women are always victims and need assistance.
So, maybe the dad needs to put aside money for his sons.; 9/9/15, 10:16 AM
Bob Boyd said...: What if the son identifies as a girl?; 9/9/15, 10:18 AM
Ann Althouse said...: To be fair, the father is a writer and he got a long piece published in Elle and it's getting a lot of attention... precisely because people disagree with it or take it to be a bracing overstatement. He's getting money doing his craft.; 9/9/15, 10:19 AM
Gov98 said...: The irony is amazing when you think about it we've gone full circle back to dowries, the daughter is "worth less" so to make up for it she has to go in to the world with cash. Just weird, I wouldn't want to be that dad though nothing like making your kids feel like it's all transactional when your relationship with them is that transactional... There are consequences and the gods of the copybook heading will with terror and slaughter return. Probably with both kids hating their parents as that is the way those things tend to sort out.; 9/9/15, 10:20 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: The father ought not rule out the option of marrying the daughter off to a rich Arab.; 9/9/15, 10:28 AM
cubanbob said...: Ann Althouse said...
To be fair, the father is a writer and he got a long piece published in Elle and it's getting a lot of attention... precisely because people disagree with it or take it to be a bracing overstatement. He's getting money doing his craft.

9/9/15, 10:19 AM"

There is no reason to be fair, he is an asshole. And prostitutes earn money by doing their trade.; 9/9/15, 10:33 AM
Known Unknown said...: Is the article titled "Breeding Resentment?"; 9/9/15, 10:34 AM
Beach Brutus said...: From the linked article: "We want them to feel unconstrained by gender, free to pursue their interests."

One is a boy and one is a girl -- that is an objective truth not a constraint. Each is perfectly free to fulfill what he or she is, not what he or she isn't. As long as we think we can define or legislate away objective truth we will never achieve a happy or contented society.; 9/9/15, 10:34 AM
Mike (MJB Wolf) said...: So he's economically illiterate (women in the same position as men actually earn slightly more in salary) AND he's a lousy parent setting up a rift between the children when they are still infants. What an idiot!; 9/9/15, 10:36 AM
mikee said...: We are talking about the parents' money, right, not public funds? Taxes have been paid on income, bills paid when due, mortgage paid up?

This is nobody's business, then. Not public business. Not the business of another sibling, either.

The parents can do what they want with their personal property. It affects others, but is not under the control of anyone else, and their use of their money is among the least important aspects of today's world.

If the siblings are looking at the property of mummy & daddy as the kids' inheritance while mummy & daddy are still around, the kids need an education in who owns what.

The parents could take their savings out in cash, burn it at a family reunion, and the kids would still have zero say in how it was spent. This money is the parents' money, to do with as they see fit.; 9/9/15, 10:37 AM
Beach Brutus said...: What does it matter any way? In 10 or 12 years the wife will probably divorce him and claim the funds saved for the daughter are part of the marital estate and scoop it up in the property settlement.; 9/9/15, 10:38 AM
Richard Dolan said...: "He's getting money doing his craft."

I suppose so. But it's not just his "craft" that's in play, unless the article is fiction (it doesn't read that way). And the money is quite likely to be pitifully small. Taking the writer at his word (writers of this genre want us to do that, right?), he's living in a fantasy world, where gender is whatever he wants it to be, regardless of the reality he can see right in front of him as the twins grow and develop.

Definitely a science denier. Probably a climate change extremist, to boot.; 9/9/15, 10:44 AM
madAsHell said...: He's getting money doing his craft.

He writes fiction. I wonder if the children even exist.; 9/9/15, 10:44 AM
Balfegor said...: I was ready to make fun of this, but then I read Gov98's comment:

The irony is amazing when you think about it we've gone full circle back to dowries,

Oh.

OH.

Nevermind, now that makes sense. Actually, that's quite sensible, once you cut through the rot about wage gaps and all that.; 9/9/15, 10:47 AM
Bay Area Guy said...: Althouse, you have created a "Civility Bullshit" tag, and have ably described its use and application. Might I suggest you create a "Left-Wing Moron" tag? It would fit here nicely.; 9/9/15, 10:49 AM
Brando said...: If this guy actually has children, I'm guessing he's not actually doing this but is presenting a hypothetical as reality in order to get his story to go viral. In which case, well done, sir!

As for rearing kids when you have money to spare, it's worth looking at how successful people raise their own children to be successful. It's not as simple as "give them gobs of money" which many "inequality" fetishists on the Left think--after all, heirs can be quite excellent at squandering large amounts of money. But where a combination of funds for opportunities (whether it is getting into a good school, or helping fund a business) and a buildup of training and character (so the child learns to have a good relationship with work and money) come into play you can often see the children surpass their parents. Not everyone gets it right.; 9/9/15, 10:53 AM
Brando said...: And if you're concerned about whether a "wage gap" is going to hurt your daughter's prospects, it might be wise to actually learn what causes the wage gap and not to just assume it's endemic discrimination against women (however that belief may be prevalent among your swampy drum circle). From there, you can try and influence your daughter to make life choices that help her avoid the wage gap entirely.; 9/9/15, 10:55 AM
kcom said...: While they're at it, they should probably give her a penis. Maybe for her 18th birthday.; 9/9/15, 10:55 AM
Peter said...: "This is nobody's business, then. Not public business. Not the business of another sibling, either."

Publishing is a deliberate choice to move an issue into the public sphere. Publishing something provocative and then declaring "But this is private, you have no right to say anything about it!" is absurd.

It's their money and they retain the right to do with it as they please, but once they publish their stupidity anyone and everyone surely have the right to say how stupid it is. At a minimum, that this "wage gap" is the result of aggregate choices and not less pay for the same work should be beyond dispute to anyone who bothers to look.

In any case, the daughter can fix things if she so chooses by gifting the excess to her sibling. That's her choice, but it would be a wise and magnanimous one.; 9/9/15, 10:59 AM
chuck said...: He could have just named the boy Sue and the girl Richard. Problem solved.

getting money doing his craft.

So he is crafty? I think more likely crazy, and not crazy like a fox.; 9/9/15, 11:01 AM
traditionalguy said...: The Professor says that .
He is a crafty guy. Looks like the daughter cannot enforce it either inless he creates an irrevocable trust. Very crafty.; 9/9/15, 11:07 AM
Birches said...: This is why I've told our kids they can expect nothing but love and support from us for college and that we'll spend every last penny before we're dead. Nothing to fight over.; 9/9/15, 11:07 AM
rehajm said...: He's getting money doing his craft.

His craft is porn for girls, and he's pretty good at it. All a girl's daddy and sibling rivalry issues resolved in only 4,000 words!; 9/9/15, 11:07 AM
Scott said...: "To be fair, the father is a writer and he got a long piece published in Elle and it's getting a lot of attention... precisely because people disagree with it or take it to be a bracing overstatement. He's getting money doing his craft."

Lawyers do that kind of posturing to earn their fees, and it's expected. Freelance writers doing it, however, really shouldn't, because it erodes the presumption of integrity in your viewpoint. That's deadly for a writer. It eventually leads editors to regard you as a hack.

If the author is indeed serious and not engaging in "bracing overstatement" (God I love that expression -- "No he's not lying out his ass, he's just engaging in bracing overstatement."), and he really does regard his children as social constructs to be dealt with on those terms rather than children to be loved on their own terms...damn, the poor kids will have a childhood like growing up as orphans in an institution. This is an article with a seriously creepy viewpoint.; 9/9/15, 11:17 AM
themightypuck said...: This is a troll. Beyond the ridiculousness of the premise (wage gap? not likely in 2020 taking into consideration possible career gaps due to child raising) it conflates group and individual. This dude should adopt a wait and see attitude and if he feels like his daughter is getting a raw deal he can act then.; 9/9/15, 11:18 AM
Levi Starks said...: I applaud his efforts, but I'm not sure he's really going far enough.
In order to assure the success of his plan he may need to do more than giving his son less, he may actually need to cripple his son in some sort of metaphorical fashion. Perhaps make him live in a tent in the back yard, or help contribute to the family food supply by foraging in dumpsters.
I would just hate to see such a carefully thought out plan fail, and then have to watch the lifetime of grief the father will have to endure while watching his daughter live a normal life.
I wonder how well his daughters mother is making out?; 9/9/15, 11:21 AM
mccullough said...: Luke grew up a farm hand in the desert and his twin Leia grew up a princess. Neither liked their Dad; 9/9/15, 11:27 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: I'm glad my dad wasn't a big jerk.

If you want to maximize grandchildren and their opportunities , beyond saving for college, save to help your children with a down payment on a house.; 9/9/15, 11:30 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: (My dad didn't have the means to do that. I'm merely putting forth what seems like a good strategy.); 9/9/15, 11:32 AM
tim maguire said...: Peter said...the daughter can fix things if she so chooses by gifting the excess to her sibling. That's her choice, but it would be a wise and magnanimous one.

Except he'd have to pay a gift tax, so the tax-free inheritance from dad is magically transformed into taxable income to the son. But the rest of your post is spot-on. Mikee is an idiot.; 9/9/15, 11:36 AM
Thorley Winston said...: Kind of fitting that out of the six comments for the article - three are critical of the author, two are about earning money working from home and one is for a new diet plan.; 9/9/15, 11:37 AM
Bob Ellison said...: Freeman Hunt, my parents contribute to their grandkids' college tuition. That's another nice way to push money downhill without gift-tax consequences. Grandparents with money, wondering how to help their progeny, should all look into it.; 9/9/15, 11:38 AM
Bay Area Guy said...: A good article on this subject would be how parents, sometimes subconsciously, tend to pick a favorite among their children, how it affects the non-chosen kids, and how parents can spot what they're doing and correct it.; 9/9/15, 11:40 AM
Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...: My sister dealt with the wage gap between us by marrying a rich guy. She leads a good life. All I get out of it is a ride in their Porsche every now and then.; 9/9/15, 11:42 AM
Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...: Freeman Hunt said...
If you want to maximize grandchildren and their opportunities , beyond saving for college, save to help your children with a down payment on a house.

Couldn't agree more. Buying a first house is very stressful for people like me, who had never taken on significant debt before. I paid for my education as I went by getting scholarships and working so signing that mortgage was a real stressor. Anything that reduces that debt is extraordinarily helpful; 9/9/15, 11:47 AM
JSD said...: Thankfully Chelsea Clinton doesn’t have to worry about getting beaten up by the world. I was worried about her back when the Clinton’s were dead broke.; 9/9/15, 11:54 AM
jr565 said...: As others mentioned, the boy should just say he's a girl. Then his/her father needs to provide the same money to him/her because he is a she.; 9/9/15, 11:54 AM
Anonymous said...: Step 2: abort all male babies;
Step 3: tax parents for male babies who fell thru PP's abortion crack;
Step 4: taxpayers funding to take care of female babies to correct American sexism...; 9/9/15, 11:56 AM
Anonymous said...: JSD said...Thankfully Chelsea Clinton doesn’t have to worry about getting beaten up by the world. I was worried about her back when the Clinton’s were dead broke.

She was lucky she did not have a brother.; 9/9/15, 12:00 PM
Jaq said...: I think that some Twitter feminist already has a solution. Keep a small number of the most sexually attractive males around and rid the world of the rest.; 9/9/15, 12:02 PM
jeff said...: Most think so little of his daughters ability that the only way she could possibly earn a living is on her back.; 9/9/15, 12:02 PM
Big Mike said...: What wage gap is that? Every study I've seen that corrects for the job, educational attainments, and years in the workforce shows that women actually make more money than men.

At any rate it seems that we've "advanced" back to establishing dowries (of sorts) for women. That's 21st century "Progressives" for you -- forward into the 19th century.; 9/9/15, 12:08 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Levi Starks said...
I applaud his efforts, but I'm not sure he's really going far enough.

Right on, Levi, Harrison Bergeron the privileged little proto-patriarchs, take 'em down a peg or two.
Hell, it's not a bad theory as to why the nation elected the current President, really, so that kind of thinking has widespread appeal.; 9/9/15, 12:15 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Poor widdle girl, can't compete with the boys, let's give her a boost. No sexism there, no sir--I mean ma'am!; 9/9/15, 12:16 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Daddy's money will make things all better for his helpless lil' girl, will make the big mean world more fair. Thanks, feminism!; 9/9/15, 12:37 PM
damikesc said...: Nothing says good parenting like a dipshit favoring one child over the other. I wish the son had a man for a father instead of a limp napkin.

To be fair, the father is a writer and he got a long piece published in Elle and it's getting a lot of attention... precisely because people disagree with it or take it to be a bracing overstatement. He's getting money doing his craft.

His "craft" differs from "trolling"...how?; 9/9/15, 12:42 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: The wage gap can't be caused by women's choices, because then it's actually fair. So even though nearly all of the wage gap is attributable to women's choices those choices have to have been made because of a false consciousness--women don't really want the things they think they want (as evidenced by the choices they actually made). It's our job, through the Government and our Laws, to make the choices women want to make cost less to them--we'll do that by charging others more. We might charge an employer by mandating that they provide insurance or benefits to everyone even though that benefit will be used almost exclusively by (or for the benefit of) women. We might charge others by levying a general tax to fund benefits that go almost exclusively to (certain) women. Or we might advocate for parents to save more money for their female (or female-identifying, I guess) children than they do for their male children, although that one isn't as much fun since it relies on voluntary choice (the parents').

One way or the other, you non-women are going to pay for the choices of women. After all, feminism is about equality.; 9/9/15, 12:43 PM
pst314 said...: "He's getting money doing his craft."

So, Ann, his "craft" is the promulgation of pernicious ideas?; 9/9/15, 12:43 PM
deepelemblues said...: Good job telling your daughter everyone thinks she's inferior so daddy has to save her.

This girl is gonna be so screwed up by the time she's child-bearing age she's gonna shack up with any creepy middle-aged man 25 years older than her that tries, as long as he talks about how oppressed womyn are and promises her monthly deposits into her checking account.; 9/9/15, 12:45 PM
damikesc said...: And the why the hell do women and feminists seem to think that men have it "easy"? We die on the job at astronomical numbers compared to women. We're raped about as often. We're far more victimized by violent crime. We can have reputations ruined because a woman regrets a decision. We can lose our house after our wife cheats on us. We can be forced, by law, to support a child that we were lied to and told is ours when it was not.

Yeah, men have it easy. No concerns at all.

Seriously, if a woman wants to trade places with a man, I'll do it. See how much fun it is. Feminists deeply don't respect men.; 9/9/15, 12:51 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Let me give you an example: Let's say a man (hiss!) chooses to pursue a "studies" degree in a less-competitive field (where graduates aren't in high demand in the marketplace), then takes a lower paying job with flexible hours (so he can devote time to surfing, say). The man likes travelling for extended periods so he switches companies frequently while taking years off here and there. At the end of his working career that guy compares his lifetime earnings with those of another guy who did the opposite (chose a competitive, in-demand degree, took a high-paying, high-stress, long-hours job, stayed with his company and stayed employed continuously, etc). One man made significantly less than the other! Is that unfairness? I mean, he got a lot of surfing and travelling in, he has fewer ulcers, sure, but is it FAIR?!?!? It's a shame he can't blame the wage gap on sexism, really, otherwise he'd be set--his dad would have left him some $ don'tchaknow.; 9/9/15, 12:56 PM
Henry said...: Genesis has told this story many times:

Genesis 37
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate[a] robe for him. 4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.; 9/9/15, 1:01 PM
Simon Kenton said...: Watched this time and again, often in reverse order. "You won't be getting an inheritance or any help with the house, because we need to send your brother to a Christian Tough-Love Rehabilitation Center, for the 5th time." Then it goes to, "We spent our retirement on him, too, so it looks like we'll be moving in with you and your husband." It would have been better if this guy had had a terrible accident involving his testicles in a tree chipper, before he ever bred.; 9/9/15, 1:01 PM
AlbertAnonymous said...: "This is nobody's business, then. Not public business. Not the business of another sibling, either."

Riiiight. This is more of the same "Look at me! But don't judge. Bigot!"; 9/9/15, 1:01 PM
My name goes here. said...: "To be fair, the father is a writer and he got a long piece published in Elle and it's getting a lot of attention... precisely because people disagree with it or take it to be a bracing overstatement. He's getting money doing his craft."

So did Mengele; 9/9/15, 1:10 PM
Henry said...: ...that seems like the privatization of a structural problem...

Very astute take. The daughter could easily outperform the son. This is an actuarial problem. What someone needs to invent for the Paul Fords of the world is "failure insurance." Every year after the children achieve their majority the insurance company will cover the difference in their net worth. The premiums will be killer.

Emotional wreckage, on the other hand, is not so easily quantified.; 9/9/15, 1:20 PM
Sigivald said...: "As Paul Ford's twins grew, he couldn't stand the fact that his daughter would always lag behind his son financially. Then he hatched a brilliant plan...."

She won't lag behind him, if she gets the same job as him and doesn't take time off to have kids.

And if she does, he's lagging behind in family terms. Where's his money for that?

The man is a fool, who thinks "every woman makes 3/4 as much as a man because female and nothing else", more or less.

As people keep telling me, incorrectly, is the case.; 9/9/15, 1:24 PM
pdug said...: Remember #GiveYourMoneyToWomen ? Start when they're young!; 9/9/15, 1:30 PM
Etienne said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/9/15, 1:37 PM
Eric said...: You have to have some sympathy for these kids whose father is an idiot.; 9/9/15, 1:41 PM
Fernandinande said...: Rather than give the girl more money, he should give the boy less money and give the difference to me.; 9/9/15, 1:46 PM
MrCharlie2 said...: Forgiven me if it's been asked before, but wouldn't it be cheaper to just bring her in for reassignment?; 9/9/15, 2:03 PM
Jaq said...: I have to note that I agree with ARM.; 9/9/15, 2:12 PM
Gusty Winds said...: A buddy of mine from college in the early 1990's watched his two sisters get put through college by his dad full ride, all expenses paid. His dad made him join the Army and work his way through school in the reserves. His dad told him that's just the way it is. He is probably one of the most successful guys from the frat, and is now a senior VP at a Fortune 500.

My Grandfather always resented college grads. He fought in WWII (was at Omaha Beach), came back and worked his way to the #2 spot at Continental Can in Mt. Vernon, Ohio. He said he never got the number #1 spot because he didn't have the degree. His older sister was put through Ohio State by my Great Grandfather; married immediately after college, and was a stay at home mom her entire life.; 9/9/15, 2:13 PM
Jaq said...: Gusty Winds, I just want to tell you that last time I was in France, they still remembered, spontaneously and with gratitude what your grandfather did.; 9/9/15, 2:55 PM
The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...: So crushingly stupid I seriously have to question if it's for real. Might just be an exercise in culture jamming.; 9/9/15, 3:49 PM
John said...: Is the son going to have the same chance of marrying someone with a better income as the daughter will? Will the son ever have a series of girlfriends to take care of him? Will he be able to quit work and stay at home and keep house for a well off wife without any social stigma?

I am not sure there is any more privileged creature on planet earth than young wealthy American white women who are in any way attractive. They go from their parents to a series of boyfriends to a husband. They are taken care of from birth. There is always daddy or a boyfriend or a husband around to take care of things. Even wealthy young men don't have that kind of privilege and middle class men having nothing like it.; 9/9/15, 4:04 PM
MayBee said...: What's he going to do to make up for the college rape gap?; 9/9/15, 4:21 PM
Fabi said...: Women in the US can expect to live until 80, men 75. Should the father arrange to have the daughter killed at 70? Because fairness.; 9/9/15, 4:24 PM
Eleanor said...: I don't know. Sometimes parents do know their kids well enough, and sometimes they don't. I chose a STEM career and married a fellow engineer. My brother became a writer and married an artist. When my parents were making out their will, my mom wanted to leave my brother more money than they left me because I already had a lot more money than he did. (I had more money than my mom and dad.) But my dad said no because when they died, my brother would go through his share quickly, and when he needed money in the future, he'd be coming to me. Dad wanted me to have his money to loan my brother. Mom died first so Dad got his way. I've paid for my brother's divorce, loaned him money to get an apartment, and helped his kids some with college. All from the inheritance from my dad. Eventually, my brother and his kids got it all. It's all OK with me.; 9/9/15, 4:26 PM
Sam L. said...: Boy has reason to hate his dad and his sister. Mom, too.; 9/9/15, 4:32 PM
exhelodrvr1 said...: That will force the daughter to take responsibility.; 9/9/15, 5:16 PM
Joe said...: I'll repeat my comment there:

Why are jerks so proud of their idiocy that they actually write articles on what jerks they are?

If the parents really wanted to help, they should simply force their daughter to study only STEM and prohibit their son from doing so. Perhaps they should have just aborted him.; 9/9/15, 5:19 PM
Static Ping said...: He writes like a computer programmer.

He also thinks like a computer programmer. His kids are a problem to be solved.

If you gave me this article without telling me anything else, I would tend to think it was fiction and not especially well written fiction. Not bad mind you, but nothing notable and a bit "meh" in parts.; 9/9/15, 5:49 PM
Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...: tim in vermont said...
I have to note that I agree with ARM.

Do you get to ride in my sister's Porsche too?; 9/9/15, 6:40 PM
Fred Drinkwater said...: Static Ping:
Speaking as a computer programmer, and a manager of programmers, I think I'd have to fire his a** if he exhibited such poor mental skills in the workplace.; 9/9/15, 6:43 PM
khesanh0802 said...: I had trouble staying with this article but I got the impression his wife is a perfect example of why there may be a difference in payment by sex. She has a good education and certainly has talents in the financial field but she wants a job in a field that has high barriers to entry. Since she is fortunate that she doesn't need the money she keeps busy enough while she spends the rest of the time with the kids (or "surfing"). Does she have a bad life?

As for the author; unlike his wife he took advantage of an opening in a field that he wasn't so sure he wanted to be in. It worked out. His parenting ideas are nuts and will get him nothing but trouble from both kids. However, I agree with those who say this is a fictional piece designed to garner "clicks".; 9/9/15, 7:13 PM
Danno said...: Birches said...
"This is why I've told our kids they can expect nothing but love and support from us for college and that we'll spend every last penny before we're dead. Nothing to fight over."

That sounds like the prevalent political view in that we spend every dollar we have and 18 trillion more, so we can leave a mess to future generations. I agree with Freeman Hunt, Bob Ellison, and (maybe for the first time) AReasonableMan and their posts. I hope to be able to help my children and any future grandchildren when it is time to leave this world.; 9/9/15, 7:20 PM
Danno said...: On another note, wage discrimination against women has been fought by legislation over the years, the most recent being the Lilly Bedwetter (Sorry, I couldn't help that.) Act of 2009, so either the left is completely incapable of getting intended results through legislation or this is more of their continuous political posturing.; 9/9/15, 7:40 PM
Chris N said...: I've worked around computer programmers, software developers, data science folks etc., and I'm consistently humbled by the problem-solving abilities, training, logic and intellect on display.

When it comes to the people you love, your family, yourself, the human heart, what others are thinking, why they're behaving the way they are, fiction, music, the arts, vast fields of human knowledge and endeavor (nearly all) of which you are ignorant. Best be faithful to your loved ones through thick and thin and/or stay quiet.

So, just leave it alone, buddy (or...dipshit). The only people benefitting from this likely conflation of your loved ones, your profession, and your pet cause are probably just some ideologically aligned fellow-travelers who'll fete you today and drop you tomorrow.

Find a better hobby.; 9/9/15, 7:43 PM
Michael K said...: "Buying a first house is very stressful for people like me"

I even agree with you ARM. I put four kids through college. The only one who owns his own home is the one who didn't get a degree. He is a fireman and his wife runs a very good business from home. I gave them the down payment on a condo 20 years ago and they have parleyed that into a beautiful home with a pool. Three great kids.

He is the only conservative although my youngest daughter seems to be one too. The other three are lefties.; 9/9/15, 7:54 PM
n.n said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 9/9/15, 7:57 PM
MadisonMan said...: Eleanor, you are a very kind sibling.

I hope your brother knows that.; 9/9/15, 8:07 PM
Ambrose said...: Sounds like a dowry. You've come a long way baby....; 9/9/15, 8:20 PM
madAsHell said...: that we'll spend every last penny before we're dead. Nothing to fight over."

My in-laws like to travel. They have always intended to leave nothing behind to squabble over. My in-laws like to draw the grand-kids in with travel to exotic places all over the planet.

My kids left the nest over 10 years ago, and have their own careers, and commitments. But, when Gramma announces a new trip, the kids find a way to join the crowd. Because, Gramma, and Poppie travel first class.; 9/9/15, 8:30 PM
rhhardin said...: Dying mafia father: Come close
Mafia son: Uh, Diane, could you excuse us for a minute?
Diane: Oh, sure. If you need me, I'll be up on the bidet.

great lines from dvd's I nevertheless did not finish.; 9/9/15, 9:15 PM
MayBee said...: Eleanor and MadMan, I think, have been there for their siblings through challenges.; 9/9/15, 9:31 PM
LordSomber said...: Today's parents are losers.; 9/9/15, 10:17 PM
Puck said...: As a father of five (3 girls, 2 boys), I hardly know where to begin.

If this twit thinks his daughter starts life at a disadvantage to her brother ... he obviously hasn't seen that colleges have a 57-43 (give or take a smidgen) female/male split that's getting more blatant every year. The only reason in this area to give the daughter extra money is because her brother will likely be able to get scholarship money as a minority by the time they're ready.

It's a shame his wife can't find a full-time job in her preferred field. But as a father with two daughters that have masters degrees and are working as a waitress and a receptionist, I'm not going to throw a pity party for them. This is a decision she's making; it's not like she lacks options.

We got married when I was 31 and my wife was 30. She had 4 of our children before going back to work (the fifth one came after she went back to work). We help them as much as we can (God has been incredibly kind to us; we've been able to help get 4 thru college, with the fifth now a freshman. The idea of helping any of our children because of his/her gender is ridiculous (though, as others have pointed out, it's their money, to do with as they wish; at least they're not asking for government money).; 9/9/15, 10:17 PM
Unknown said...: It's sad to see a grown man rearranging everyone's lives based on a statistical abstraction that has no meaning at the individual level.

Rather than setting up differently-sized funds, the father would be better off teaching his kids to be future leaders, so that they do well no matter how much or how little they inherit.

Investors' Business Daily claims there are two ingredients in the childhood of most leaders: (1) they read a great deal when young, and (2) they did a wide variety of different kinds of work and jobs.; 9/9/15, 10:26 PM
rcommal said...: If this is not a real story: horrid and well-nigh unforgivable. If this is a real story: in addition to horrid, also disgusting, stupid, immoral, unethical, ill-educated, abusive, dishonest, terrible and--in addition--not just unforgivable, but close to unworthy of redemption.; 9/9/15, 10:59 PM
rcommal said...: ^

That's my opinion, plainly stated.; 9/9/15, 11:08 PM
Kirk Parker said...: "He writes like a computer programmer"

Stereotype much?; 9/9/15, 11:48 PM
Micha Elyi said...: This isn't new. I saw this twenty years ago, in the 1990s. This Libertarian mother's version was:

we have to give your sister a private school education because the world beats up on women

The Libertarian mother was, of course, a feminist who claimed females can be just as competent/strong/whatever as men and insisted that females need special advantages in order to keep up with men.; 9/10/15, 4:41 AM
Renee said...: Just take the 30 grand you would of spent her wedding, put it in your own retirement account.

Why? Daughters usually get the burden of caring for parents. Do her a favor and take care of yourselves.; 9/10/15, 4:42 AM
Jaq said...: I've paid for my brother's divorce, loaned him money to get an apartment, and helped his kids some with college. All from the inheritance from my dad. Eventually, my brother and his kids got it all. It's all OK with me.

My first thought was that, if he goes through with this, the sister will always be a soft touch for her twin.; 9/10/15, 6:56 AM
Cynicus said...: Son now has the perfect excuse. Well you should take in mom and dad, they expected you to provide for them and be their caregiver 21% more. They are treating their daughter like she has a disability. Son should make sure her wedding money and more expensive private college comes out of the fund. I feel bad for the daughter in this scenario. There will be strings. Whoever has the gold makes the rules.; 9/10/15, 7:34 AM
wildswan said...: Since we're imagining futures:
The son becomes a revolutionary terrorist burning with resentment at a world that shapes futures through the controlling power of money. Is shot at 21.

The daughter marries an organic farmer and has seven sons, one of whom she names after her lost brother whose pain she always felt.; 9/10/15, 10:06 AM
wildswan said...: PS.
The money is lost in the Second Chinese Crash; 9/10/15, 10:08 AM
the gold digger said...: My husband's dad thought it would be a good idea to leave a certain amount of money undesignated and then have my husband, who is his executor, decide how the money would be divided between him and his two half brothers.

I asked my husband if his father wanted my husband and his half brothers to hate each other for all eternity, as there would be no way my husband could divide that money to everyone's satisfaction.; 9/10/15, 12:03 PM
OGWiseman said...: "We are going to raise our children in compensation for the lives of some abstract 'average people', even though our children are both highly privileged and nowhere near average."

SMDH. We are living in the decline of an empire when this is the meretricious nonsense that graces our magazine pages.; 9/10/15, 5:03 PM