August 26, 2015

"I Can't Stop Reading One-Star Yelp Reviews of National Parks."

"Yelp is filled with one- and two-star reviews of America's most pristine and majestic natural wonders. And honestly, they're riveting...."

"Don't waste your time!!!... I paid $20 for nothing but nasty rock and salt... You can find the exact same things in other places, and generally, they do it better...."

14 comments:

Fernandinande said...

The Pinnacles reviewer was complaining about gov't employees standing around using up good air and money, but:

"Pinnacles Campground, operated by Royal Elk Park Management, INC., an authorized concessionaire of the National Park Service, is located on the East-side of the Pinnacles."

Personally I refuse to pay to stand on land I already own, even if the ownership is communist.

MadisonMan said...

One time on Yelp, I came across what I'm sure are Titus' reviews of things (I think we somehow reviewed the same restaurant?).

I only Yelp if I'm particularly impressed or disappointed these days. There are way too many 5-star reviews on Yelp.

Captain Curt said...

I'm reminded of the one-star reviews of classic books on Amazon. Tumblr has a good compilation here:

http://onestarbookreview.tumblr.com/

There's a comedian whose schtick is to read some of these reviews dramatically. His name doesn't come to mind now, though.

Freeman Hunt said...

From the one-star reviews of classic books:

“The Cat in the Hat is a psychopath.”

Hey, that reviewer is right!

David Begley said...

Very talented writers!

The Godfather said...

I've been to half a dozen of these sites, and found them worth as many stars as there are in a clear desert night sky. But this was a long time ago: 1960 for Zion, Badlands, Yellowstone, and Grand Canyon; most recently 1992 for Acadia, and 2003 for Shenandoah. Maybe population growth and/or poor management have ruined them.

But I will never forget camping in Yellowstone and waking up on August 15 to find that it had snowed over night. We stood in the steam from the hot springs to get warm, and then found that we were soaking wet from the condensation and twice as cold (we were 17; what did we know about thermodynamics?). It was serious snow: The passes to the south were closed for 2-3 days. I hiked across the Grand Canyon, north rim to south rim, the second day alone because my companion's new boots crippled him and he had to take the mule train out. I saw a total solar eclipse from Mount Desert (Acadia) in 1962.

If you tell me that these experiences are no longer available, I pity the young. But I'm glad I experienced what I did when I could.

Joe said...

Yellowstone IS a caldera and as such is constantly changing. Several dramatic features shifted a few years ago, leaving behind something much less exciting. On the other hand, the place is still stunningly beautiful.

Phil 3:14 said...

Mother Jones scoffs.

Bruce Hayden said...

First thing you do when you turn 62 is buy a lifetime pass for Nat Parks, Forest Service, BLM, etc. for $20. Then, you don't mind taking the shortcut through Yellostone to get from CO to MT, etc. I hope to get maybe $100 or so a year benefit from the card, and one of these years we will have a camper or RV so we can up the ante a bit.

Peter said...

If you want lots of favorable reviews it helps to have paid reviewers, but, The National Park Service has no budget for that.

Kyzernick said...

Bruce, that sounds like a marvelous idea. I hope, when my clock runs to that age, I'll have a similar opportunity.

wildswan said...

Maybe someone should look into where all the money from those high fees goes. I'm sure the Park Service has an large and increasing appropriation. Maybe the fees are just thrown into the general fund like the tolls around Chicago on Federal roads which are thrown into Chicago general funds.

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Rusty said...



Blogger Bruce Hayden said...
First thing you do when you turn 62 is buy a lifetime pass for Nat Parks, Forest Service, BLM, etc. for $20. Then, you don't mind taking the shortcut through Yellostone to get from CO to MT, etc. I hope to get maybe $100 or so a year benefit from the card, and one of these years we will have a camper or RV so we can up the ante a bit.


Except that every time I , at least, try to drive up from Jackson there's more traffic than the Dan Ryan 294 merge.
Hey! Let's stop the car in the middle of the road and watch the bear!
Sometimes it's easier, not to mention more instructive, to drive around.


I think Ahmed would sell more of whatever it is he's selling if he used the google translator.
Or maybe he's declaring Jihad on us.
Whatever.