July 2, 2015

Bubble Wrap without the pop.

"... iBubble Wrap is laid out in columns of connected air pockets, so when pressure is applied to one 'bubble' the air gets pushed into neighboring bubbles."

iBubble Wrap?

iBullshit!

24 comments:

EMD said...

They sell non-alcoholic beer, too.

rhhardin said...

Puncture one bubble and you get no further protection.

Matthew Sablan said...

I thought that this already existed?

Roy Jacobsen said...

iCarumba.

This marketing tic of prepending a product name with "i". Kill it with fire.

The Drill SGT said...

who wants bubble wrap that doesn't pop?

That's the only reason I buy from Amazon :)

Laslo Spatula said...

I dated a woman once who liked to wrap her naked body in bubble wrap, and then have me slowly pop the bubbles.

She would keep her eyes closed, so she wouldn't know the location of the next 'pop'. A bubble on the shoulder, a bubble on her stomach, a bubble on her inner thigh: she'd squeal with each pop like a schoolgirl who can't believe how many bunnies can come out of the same hat.

Eventually she would be squirming in delight, and -- after a pleasurably excruciating wait -- I would pop the bubbles near her vagina, which would inevitably bring her to orgasm, her body rocking and bubbles popping like popcorn.

Then she would suck my cock.

So I am a bubble-wrap traditionalist, is what I am saying.


I am Laslo.

Amexpat said...

Another one of life's simple pleasures that "they" are taking away from me.

Clyde said...

I blame feminism.

Anthony said...

EMD, you should write analogies for standardized tests. That was good.

Following up on rhhardin, how do you cut the new stuff to size? With real bubble wrap, it doesn't matter if you cut across some bubbles.

mc said...

They are trying to make up for lost volume by making up for lost volume.

I suppose "TITANIUM!" is passe. Now I am going to inflate a grocery bag and pop it just to scare the shit out of someone for old times sake. Wonder who it'll be...

tim maguire said...

Laslo Spatula said...
I dated a woman once who liked to wrap her naked body in bubble wrap, and then have me slowly pop the bubbles...[snip]...So I am a bubble-wrap traditionalist, is what I am saying.


If you were really a bubble wrap traditionalist, you would have laid her on the floor and stomped her.

EMD and rhhardin say all that need be said--this is a lousy product that nobody in their right mind would want. For what purpose is it made?

PatHMV said...

I disagree that this is necessarily a lousy product. The reason for it seems obvious to me: to massively reducing the shipping costs of getting the bubble wrap from the manufacturer to the packaging or shipping facility. Secondarily, to reduce the storage space required for the bubble wrap at the shipping facility. Uninflated plastic takes up a LOT less space; why pay to ship air? The area used at the shipping facility (like an Amazon warehouse) for storing inflated bubblewrap could be more efficiently and productively used for other goods.

As for the product being useless, please. Even regular, normal, popped bubble-wrap continues to offer excellent protective capabilities. Here, the material will be used at a warehouse packing stuff for shipping in ideal conditions, with machines designed to inflate the material and cut it to the appropriate length and width for the box it's going in. The shipper could care less whether it is suitable for re-use by the consumer after they open the package. Even if a few rows of wrap get punctured, that will not defeat its protective capabilities. Air goes back in to the popped bubbles. Not as much, but it's not like it is instantly transformed to Saran Wrap (TM).

This is not being sold for use by the casual holiday shipper, nor even the home-based eBay or Etsy enthusiast.

Beldar said...

The only thing ridiculous about this is the "i-" prefix.

But for that, blame Apple fanboys -- don't you have an iPhone yourself, Prof. Althouse? -- who've made that prefix really neato and super-cool.

(Me, I refuse to patronize Apple, since I disapprove of their business practices, including their inclination to blatantly fix prices and restrain competition, as recently re-confirmed by the Second Circuit.)

Beldar said...

Drill SGT, Amazon ships now mostly with a bubble-wrap alternative consisting of much, much larger plastic pockets they inflate themselves -- as this new product presumably permits, too. It will be interesting to see if Amazon adopts this new stuff for their shipping; they're genuine wizards at shaving fractions of a penny off logistics.

Babaluigi said...

Oh no, how to deal with episodes of mild neurosis without bubble-wrap? Time to stock up!

Freeman Hunt said...

So it's one bubble? What if it pops?

Freeman Hunt said...

I like to pop the big, Amazon air pockets. They're loud.

PatHMV said...

Freeman, we had to prohibit my step-son from popping the Amazon air pockets. Scared the dog and the baby too much. I still sneak in a pop when I'm outside taking them to the garbage, though!

These new things are not one big bubble. Each row of bubbles is independent of the other rows. Popping one bubble would effectively pop the whole row, but not the entire sheet.

PatHMV said...

According to the article, one truck of this new product can carry the same amount of wrapping as 47 trucks of the old-style bubble wrap. That's a huge savings.

Freeman Hunt said...

Oh good, so you could still pop it by squeezing all the air down to one end. That's the important thing.

D. said...

viva engineering!!

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Laslo Spatula said...

Freeman Hunt said...
"... by squeezing all the air down to one end. That's the important thing."

Yes it pretty much is.

I am Laslo.

Sam L. said...

iBubble = iFAIL