June 29, 2015

"If a group of 'textiles' (people who wear clothes) came across the naked hikers..."

"... most of them would smile and laugh and reach for their cameras."
"But one day we came across a bunch of Christian hikers and their leader made everyone turn and face away from us as we walked past. I couldn't believe it. Then later, when we were having a picnic by a lake, we saw them again and they prayed for us."...
Is that a Christian thing — averting your eye when someone naked comes into view? Seems like normal etiquette to me, especially compared with getting out your camera. I mean, I would probably stare... in horror. Because: Naked hiking? Have they not heard of ticks... ticks on dicks... ugh...

65 comments:

MadisonMan said...

Those wacky Brits.

Christopher B said...

Darn it! We didn't get the attention we wanted!!

Aussie Pundit said...

Laughing and taking photos of strangers doesn't sound very friendly.

Given that the Christian leader had the authority to instruct everyone to look away, that hiking group sounds like it probably had children in it.

MayBee said...

I wonder why he "couldn't believe it!"

Anyway, nudists ignore the science behind the evolution of clothes-wearing.

Laura said...

"'And God forbid, don't get an erection - you will probably be asked to leave,' says Haskell Smith."

Nudist sexism: For showing signs of sexual arousal, men get expulsion, and women are encouraged to bring towels.

Staring is rude, leering is prohibited, but turning away is bigoted? Got it.

Ignorance is Bliss said...


Don't look, Ethel!

...but it was too late...

Phil 3:14 said...

And if they came across Muslim hikers?

tim in vermont said...

I wonder if there is a equal protection case for somebody expelled from a group of nudists for getting an erection?

Aren't erections part of human nature? Isn't the whole point to devolve society to the point where "if it feels good do it" is the guiding fundamental principle behind our Constitution?

Just askin'

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Those Men in Shorts aren't lookin' so bad now, are they?

MadisonMan said...

Is there a male alive who wouldn't feel a tick walking around on his dick? I think not.

Bob Boyd said...

The part about the Christians sounds made up. That's how you get a nothing piece like this in a major outlet these days.

Laura said...

Quick, get the ticks a university tribunal!

tim in vermont said...

Isn't a group of nudists a public accommodation? Why discriminate against the hopelessly horny? Maybe the poor guy is undersexed? How do you even begin to discriminate against a victim.

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim maguire said...

Bob Boyd said...The part about the Christians sounds made up.

Indeed, how did they know?

Laura said...

Whew, at least there's little chance of concealed carry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTv9AhCuSU4.

Henry said...

"...reach for their cameras"

What?

tim in vermont said...

Seriously, why can't they simply overlook an erection? It's simple human kindness. These people are very judgmental. #LoveLoses

tim in vermont said...

I guess if it lasted longer than four hours we could find some "special scrutiny" grounds to allow them to thrown him out.

Aussie Pundit said...

compare and contrast these quotes from the article:

"Naked people really look like everyone else so I think the idea of accepting your body and other people's bodies is really healthy.

with

And God forbid, don't get an erection - you will probably be asked to leave

Laura said...

Turkey's done! You're out of here missy!

Curious George said...

"MadisonMan said...
Is there a male alive who wouldn't feel a tick walking around on his dick? I think not."

Have you ever had this happen?

Last year the ticks were terrible up north...worse in 45 years I've been going up. I must have pulled 20 off me. I think you'd be more aware of them naked than with clothes. And yes, well not the stick, but the...

Bob Boyd said...

Nude hiker reports erection at the overlook.

TreeJoe said...

MadisonMan,

I found an engorged tick in a spot I would have expected to feel it, but did not. More embarrassing, it was found by my wife during the early moments of intimacy.

I don't know if it was just a less nerve-dense spot or if I've got something else going on. Regardless, I would presume it was there for <24 hours.

Not sure if you are familiar with ticks of the NE, but deer ticks around here can be the size of pin heads or smaller. I've watched one crawl up my arm and didn't feel it the whole way, with my attention on it.

Laura said...

Look at those artistic blotches on Missy's towel.

tim in vermont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tim in vermont said...

And God forbid, don't get an erection - you will probably be asked to leave

"Covet not thy neighbor's wife, nor his ass"

What is this? A theocracy!?!

tim in vermont said...

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's" - King James version.

tim in vermont said...

As someone for whom the little blue pill is "hauling coal to Newcastle" I find this bigotry offensive.

Meade said...

"I found an engorged tick in a spot I would have expected to feel it, but did not. More embarrassing, it was found by my wife during the early moments of intimacy. "

Tick-check foreplay and STDT (sexually transmitted dick tick) awareness!

tim in vermont said...

I say that gratuitous interference in other people’s lives is bigotry. The fact that it is often religiously motivated does not make it less so. The United States is not a theocracy, and religious disapproval of harmless practices is not a proper basis for prohibiting such practices, especially if the practices are highly valued by their practitioners. - Judge Posner.

Bob Boyd said...

Dere's a deer tick down dere, dear.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

I don't know exactly what I would do but "reaching for my camera" would be pretty far down on the list.

Laslo Spatula said...

"Dear Lord, Please help guide these naked souls in their perilous trek. May the men's genitalia remain free from ticks, and may the genitalia of the women be void of tiny lizards and their flicking tongues.

Also may you keep the females' ladyparts free of termites and spiders of all sizes. And caterpillars: please keep the ladies' ladyparts free from caterpillars, and millipedes and those little bugs that curl up when you touch them.

Also: pretty much anything that leaves larva. Or molts. I think that covers it, Lord.

Of course, if any of this was to befall them as Your punishment for their promiscuity and wanton ways, then -- of course -- go ahead.

Averting our eyes, oh Lord.

I am Laslo.

Birkel said...

Shorts not looking so bad, now. Eh, Althouse?

MayBee said...

I would think ticks crawling up into would be worse than ticks crawling up on to. Into is equal opportunity.

Eleanor said...

As a Girl Scout leader I frequently took teenage girls hiking. We found a dead body in the woods one day, but she was dressed. We never happened upon nude hikers. If we had, it might have made for an interesting campfire conversation that evening. I remember one conversation about what it meant to be "well hung". I might not have ever had to explain that.

Bob Boyd said...

So the nudists have a bug up their ass about guy's getting erections?

pm317 said...

You may avert your eyes to give them their privacy too. Isn't that a good thing?

Big Mike said...

Hey! Cool! Another group encouraged to hate on Christians.

YoungHegelian said...

Sometimes you avert your eyes from naked bodies because, well, they aren't too pretty to look at.

Most of us aren't fashion models or professional athletes or porn stars or all of the above. To put it bluntly, most naked bodies aren't really pleasant aesthetic experiences. This especially seems to be the case with guys who are into nudity. The article hints at this when it talks of "body acceptance". Accepting the failings of one's own body is one thing. Forcing others to accept those failings is another.

Ambrose said...

Roving bands of Christians?

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said...

I'm an evangelical Christian, but ascribe much more to your "etiquette" attitude. Certainly hanging around on Dutch nude beaches with my in-laws might freak out a hard-core pastor, but it was *not* a question of etiquette in that situation.

By comparison, we ran a retail greenhouse business for more than a decade and when women (95% of our customers) bent over to write a check or sign a credit card I averted my eyes because you could usually see *everything* they had stuffed into the top of that blouse or shirt.

Many of them noticed, immediately understood why, and on subsequent trips were vastly more prudent with their posture.

John Borell said...

This calls for a "dicks" tag.

clint said...

Ticks move around *a lot* on your body before they bite.

Unless you're wearing very, very tight underpants, your private areas aren't safe just because you're clothed.

Humperdink said...
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Humperdink said...

Recall back in the 80's during my pilot days, I was looking for a plane to purchase in Ohio. Came across one for sale that had small dents (no holes) on the underside of the wing and fuselage. Seems the pilot overflew a nudist colony at low altitude. The residents took umbrage - with a shotgun.

traditionalguy said...

We Textiles see nudist transparency and full disclosure of everything as a sign of paganism or pantheism.

If God wanted men and women walking around nekkid he would have made them that way...oh yeah he did. Eve was the first Trophy Wife an showed it all off.

And see how that turned out for Adam. But with the exception of Anne Margaret, women are more than just beautiful breasts with hard tits, wide curved hips, thin but muscular legs and a come hither smile with perfect teeth crowned by beautifully styled blonde hair...they are people too.

Fred Drinkwater said...

Has anyone ever seen traditionalguy and Laslo at the same time? I think tradguy is merging with laslo. Or (and this just occurred to me) perhaps WE ALL ARE.

Kzookitty said...

They should just be happy they didn't cross their path with a band of roving Pentecostals. Those folks would've wanted to lay hands on them while they were praying.
kzookitty

Rusty said...

YoungHegelian said...
Sometimes you avert your eyes from naked bodies because, well, they aren't too pretty to look at.

Most of us aren't fashion models or professional athletes or porn stars or all of the above. To put it bluntly, most naked bodies aren't really pleasant aesthetic experiences. This especially seems to be the case with guys who are into nudity. The article hints at this when it talks of "body acceptance". Accepting the failings of one's own body is one thing. Forcing others to accept those failings is another.

We must make this an addition to "Rustys Law of Spandex and Tatoos."

Ignorance is Bliss said...

As a fair-skinned nudist hiker, I take sunblock seriously. I apply it frequently and, since I'm concerned about applying too little, I tend to apply it liberally, which often requires a vigorous effort to rub it in.

I have been asked to leave multiple nudist hiking groups over the whole sunblock misunderstanding.

I am not Laslo*.


*He would manage to get someone else to apply the sunblock for him.

Just Mike said...

So now we HAVE TO look or we're what? Nudisticsts?

Coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

Embracing their simian heritage. It's an orientation.

EMD said...

I wonder if there is a equal protection case for somebody expelled from a group of nudists for getting an erection?

Your honor! It was just morning wood!

Laslo Spatula said...

"I think tradguy is merging with laslo. Or (and this just occurred to me) perhaps WE ALL ARE."

I have made many a sperm bank deposit over the years.

By now there should be hundreds of little Laslos running around, all waiting for the Right Time.

LasloWorld is Coming.


I am Laslo.

Meade said...

puh. Hundreds ain't much. The adult female argasid tick can lay a few hundred to over a thousand eggs over the course of her lifetime.

Marc Puckett said...

Yes, Just Mike, we have to look, smile, nod our heads and do the thumbs up routine, lest we be condemned on Facebook and Twitter. #TextileHaters

tim in vermont said...

I knew that Laslo had taken over when I drove past a campground in the Adirondacks and the sign said:

"Secluded lakeside campsites.
Three-way hookups available"

and my first thought was of Lazlo.

Laslo Spatula said...

Meade: "The adult female argasid tick can lay a few hundred to over a thousand eggs over the course of her lifetime."

I am not done yet.

Who knows -- there may even be an avid female Althouse reader who unknowingly bore a baby from the insemination of Laslo sperm.

Mama.

I am Laslo.

Gahrie said...

Goddamn Christians.

Meade said...

"aphid female Althouse reader"

Well sure — aphids. Aphids vs. Ticks, that's a whole horse of a different collar. For example, some species of cabbage aphids (like Brevicoryne brassicae) can produce up to 41 generations of females.

khematite@aol.com said...

Speaking of averting one's gaze, here are Orthodox Jews hiring Mexican workers to protest the NYC Gay Pride parade because they didn't want their yeshiva students looking at what was happening during the parade:

"The [Mexican] men were supplementary troops, filling in for Jewish students who would normally be called upon to demonstrate, Heshie Freed, a member of the Orthodox Jewish group based in Brooklyn, told the New York Times.

“The rabbis said that the yeshiva boys shouldn’t come out for this because of what they would see at the parade,” Freed said.


Mary Beth said...

"There's nothing more fun than seeing an 80-year-old lady checking out your package."

I don't think he and I have the same definition for the word "fun". Or the word "lady".