Up to now Jane Fonda has remained healthy and fit. Bummer. I was really hoping that she would become morbidly obese. Some kind of debilitating illness secondary to a STD would also have been nice. Or maybe arthritis caused by the trauma she inflicted on her joints during high intensity workouts. Or something. Her life has been comparatively blessed. It's not fair.
Careful there Clint, don't be surprised if the crossfit mafia comes for you.
I used to do that in the early days, but stopped when it became more a religion than a way to work out. Some of the people I met were great, but overall it felt kinda cultish.
I've started doing work outs, a few months ago, with some guys from my church. It's called F3. Based on military exercises, but it's really similar to some of these aerobic exercises. And all the exercises have funny nicknames. What I always called "jumping jacks" are now called "side-straddle hops." I have no idea why. We do little baby crunches and clam-diggers and Frankensteins and windmills. Frankenstein is the cool exercise where you put your arms straight out, in the classic Frankenstein pose, and then kick your hands. It kinda looks like this.
A lot of the guys do F3 every day. I do it once a week, on Saturday mornings. 45 minutes. It's physically exhausting. Instead of resting, you switch exercises and work on another muscle.
I've been doing it for about 3 months now. I went from not wearing a belt to always having to wear a belt, to first notch to second notch. I've just moved up to the third notch on my belt. Sooner or later I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe.
The cult stuff happens on Sunday mornings. It's a big white building called the Episcopal Church. There will be flesh-eating and blood-drinking, but you'll be happy to find out it's just bread and wine.
^I've heard of F3. If there were a group in my town I'd go. Are you a rucktard, too, Saint Croix? Lots of overlap between the two groups, as I understand it.
I do a lot of very vocal groaning, like I'm giving birth, which cracks everybody up. All the guys in my group are over 65, and they're all in better shape than I am.
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18 comments:
I question this.
I mean.
Zumba.
My 89-year-old mother still puts on the Richard Simmons "Dancing with the Oldies".
She has a Hanoi Jane in Leotards video, but she never plays that one.
She has a Hanoi Jane in Leotards video
I literally burnt each one my Mom bought, and she bought more than a couple..
Those videos were way before exercise and fitness became a religion.
I like the 1880's exercise regime: change that wagon wheel, Woman.
Of course, I am imagining an 1880s where there was Spandex.
I am Laslo.
Oh, Lord, really? As if raves didn't happen between that time and...well, if not this time, then at least in the latter '90s and early aughts.
I mean, you know, residual stuff.
Needlessly crude and charmless.
I'm talking about the modern commentators, not the 80's exercisers.
Up to now Jane Fonda has remained healthy and fit. Bummer. I was really hoping that she would become morbidly obese. Some kind of debilitating illness secondary to a STD would also have been nice. Or maybe arthritis caused by the trauma she inflicted on her joints during high intensity workouts. Or something. Her life has been comparatively blessed. It's not fair.
How great art thou, William: so wishing so much awful on other people.
Is it really sillier than current exercise fads, or will we look back at today's silliness in exactly the same way?
Bosu balls? Zumba? Crossfit?
Careful there Clint, don't be surprised if the crossfit mafia comes for you.
I used to do that in the early days, but stopped when it became more a religion than a way to work out. Some of the people I met were great, but overall it felt kinda cultish.
I've started doing work outs, a few months ago, with some guys from my church. It's called F3. Based on military exercises, but it's really similar to some of these aerobic exercises. And all the exercises have funny nicknames. What I always called "jumping jacks" are now called "side-straddle hops." I have no idea why. We do little baby crunches and clam-diggers and Frankensteins and windmills. Frankenstein is the cool exercise where you put your arms straight out, in the classic Frankenstein pose, and then kick your hands. It kinda looks like this.
A lot of the guys do F3 every day. I do it once a week, on Saturday mornings. 45 minutes. It's physically exhausting. Instead of resting, you switch exercises and work on another muscle.
I've been doing it for about 3 months now. I went from not wearing a belt to always having to wear a belt, to first notch to second notch. I've just moved up to the third notch on my belt. Sooner or later I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe.
I know the founders of F3. It was actually started at my church! One of the original guys was a SEAL. More about the group here.
The cult stuff happens on Sunday mornings. It's a big white building called the Episcopal Church. There will be flesh-eating and blood-drinking, but you'll be happy to find out it's just bread and wine.
^I've heard of F3. If there were a group in my town I'd go. Are you a rucktard, too, Saint Croix? Lots of overlap between the two groups, as I understand it.
Jim Fixx, author of The Complete Book of Running back in the glorious 1970s, died quite unexpectedly of a heart attack during his daily jog.
Modern exercise faddists should recall this lesson.
What lesson would that be, mikee? "Exercise kills"? Be a couch potato?
Are you a rucktard, too, Saint Croix?
Probably! I don't know half the lingo.
I do a lot of very vocal groaning, like I'm giving birth, which cracks everybody up. All the guys in my group are over 65, and they're all in better shape than I am.
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