May 6, 2015

"Euthanasia Coaster is a hypothetical euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely—with elegance and euphoria—take the life of a human being."


(Euthanasia Coaster from Julijonas Urbonas.)

"... either for dealing with overpopulation or if your life becomes... too long."

66 comments:

The Bergall said...

Sign him up.......

Unknown said...

SOYLENT GREEN here we come.

J2 said...

"Touch my Monkey"

John Lynch said...

What happens when someone changes their mind on the way up?

Bob Ellison said...

It'll never be popular.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The original design was like one of those old-fashioned carousels but there was a problem with people coming back to life.

madAsHell said...

Bonus!! It's covered by Obamacare.

Ann Althouse said...

"What happens when someone changes their mind on the way up?"

I've been on many roller coasters where some rider decides he wants this thing stopped, and I can tell you, they do not stop it.

I remember somebody reporting being on The Zipper with some kid who kept screaming, "Let me off! Let me off! I'll give you a million dollars if you let me get off!"

Don't get on.

Anyway, isn't life like this? We chose to get on the roller coaster — presumably, in the antechamber of life — and we knew it would be a wild ride that would end in our death.

Don't get on if you don't want the ride.

There are many souls left back in life's antechamber who choose not to get on the ride, just as I, that day, declined to get on The Zipper.

traditionalguy said...

i thought this thrill ride to death niche market already belonged to GermanWings and its pilots.

madAsHell said...

Logan's Run!!

Anonymous said...

No,"Logan's Fun!"

Jane the Actuary said...

And what do you make of this?:

http://www.iflscience.org/japan-engineers-design-robotic-bear-to-aid-in-assisted-suicide/

Yeah, it looks like a parody, but this isn't a parody site -- or, at least, it's the companion site to the facebook page my friends are always linking to. So all I can figure is that the authors there got taken in by some other parody site.

Ann Althouse said...

From Wikipedia, here's some info about The Zipper I'm talking about, the original 1968 Zipper:

"The first fourteen Zippers manufactured spun at much higher speeds than modern models. The boom rotated at 11 rpm and the cable system at 7 rpm. These first-generation rides kept the passenger compartments spinning on their axes constantly, creating unsafe g-forces and causing impact-related injuries such as whiplash, bruises and back injuries. The safety hazard was quickly discovered and the mechanical rpms were permanently lowered to current speeds.

"On September 7, 1977, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a public warning, urging carnival-goers not to ride the Zipper after four deaths occurred due to compartment doors opening mid-ride. The safety restraints being attached to the door itself, riders are left unrestrained whenever the door is open. The four victims all died after falling from their compartments."

Valentine Smith said...

I"m sure all them old people who get dizzy rising from chairs will line up to die from radical syncope.

A very artistic form of mass murder.

traditionalguy said...

First we eliminate all the Chiropractors. Lawyers we need.

The Germans are engineers of killing efficiency apparatus.



Crimso said...

Why go to all that trouble? Put them in the backs of vans with the exhaust vented into the rear compartment. It worked quite well for the 3rd Reich, until they expanded their list of undesirables (you can draw a straight line from those vans to the showers; that's where they got the idea). As long as the numbers taking the ride don't become unmanageable it should work well.

Bonus: you catch the exhaust gases and can then sequester them. You not only reduce the number of carbon footprints, but the process itself can be sold as carbon neutral (not counting emissions due to obtaining the fuel, etc. etc.). I mean really, what's not to love?

Anonymous said...

The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives.

Jim said...

Can we put all of the Missouri and Kansas death row inmates on the EC?

Jim said...

Good contract law question. If the operator did stop the Zipper, could he collect a million dollars from the little boy?

richard mcenroe said...

I think Julijonas is ready to ride.

Grackle said...

the little fuck who made it looks the sort who would fly his plane into a mountain

exhelodrvr1 said...

Is there a crematorium option?

n.n said...

Planned Retirement in Abortion Land. If it's good enough for the unwanted and inconvenient babies, then it's certainly good enough for the unwanted and inconvenient senior citizens. Equality of outcome.

jr565 said...

John Lynch wrote:
What happens when someone changes their mind on the way up?

Watch the movie THe End with Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise. Once you tell the crazy person you want to die, he's going to keep coming after you even after you say you no longer want to die. No take backs.

jr565 said...

So, for capital punishment we can use this roller coaster in lieu of the drug concoctions we use now.

Bob Ellison said...

It could be a game show on HBO!

n.n said...

Why Germany? Our own liberal society has birthed an abortion industry that efficiently and "humanely" (according to leading human and civil rights men, women, and trans) terminates around 1 million wholly innocent human lives annually.

The Germans are envious of the mass murder we carry out under the veil of clinical privacy with nothing more than a scalpel, vacuum, and small doses of individually administered poison. Even ISIS is studying the efficient implementation of pro-choice in Little Clinics of Horror.

Bob Ellison said...

n.n, American leftists love the concept that America is toughest on abortion. Reality is opposite: most of Europe is much tougher than America on the practice. China is great on abortion, if you want to kill fetuses and destroy a society.

Rob said...

At this point it's only a concept. The inventor needs to build it and try it out on himself before we can give the idea any serious consideration.

Bob Ellison said...

Rob, I know someone who has sought suicide as a therapy for depression, in the Netherlands. This is not just a conjecture. This is a mission for leftist self-hating jerks.

Smilin' Jack said...

This would be even cooler:

Dr Livingstone wrote that Africans he encountered were aware that consciousness is not lost immediately. He recounts how they bent a springy sapling and tied cords from it under the ears of a man to be decapitated so that his last few moments of awareness would be of flying through the air.

Coupe said...

In Soylent Green, the same euphoria was used, only the body is processed into food.

I think the roller coaster maybe needs a food processor at the end. Obviously you want the people naked, so they meet USDA standards.

Maybe disinfect them during the spiral loops.

I need to put this on my investment watch. Especially since all the Africans are migrating to Europe, and there is no food and water for them.

Freeman Hunt said...

The Zipper is a great ride. At least, I thought so in childhood. I'm certain I would not enjoy it much now.

What happens if you want to ride the Zipper, but you accidentally get in the wrong line and end up on the Euthanasia Roller Coaster? That would be a shame.

Freeman Hunt said...

One of the mournful moments of adulthood: getting on a swing and finding that instead of being fun, as it had always been before, it is a vertigo-inducing unpleasantness. The trick is to keep swinging until the feeling goes away, but most people don't do that.

Freeman Hunt said...

The Zipper is a ride that feels like it's broken when you're on it--surely a ride isn't supposed to jostle a person so much! Part of the excitement.

Bob R said...

The band is coming over tonight. We will definitely play this.

rehajm said...

Third Reich Problems.

Big Mike said...

@Unknown, you beat me to it.

Richard Lawrence Cohen said...

The wheel is turning you can't slow down
You can't get off and you can't hold on
You can't go back and you can't stand still
If the thunder don't get you then the lightning will

Kzookitty said...

America's favorite suicide booth since 2008.

kzookitty

Brent said...

Does it make you feel like you are burning alive? What is the ceiling effect for this ride? Maybe this is more constitutional than Midazolam.

CWJ said...

RLC,

Nice "Dead" reference! Double the meaning double the fun.

CWJ said...

In spite of the number of county carnies I've attended, I've never heard of The Zipper before now. Holy Fred, now that I've googled it, YEAH that really looks like something I'd trust itinerant workers to maintain, transport, safely put together, and operate week in week out!

Fernandinande said...

jr565 said...
Watch the movie THe End with Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise. Once you tell the crazy person you want to die, he's going to keep coming after you even after you say you no longer want to die. No take backs.


Sounds like Robert Louis Stevenson's "The Suicide Club".

glenn said...

Actually if the American electorate is dumb enought to elect Hillary or Lizzie I may volunteer to test it.

Sharc said...

Good contract law question. If the operator did stop the Zipper, could he collect a million dollars from the little boy?

Not from a little boy -- he lacks capacity. But the little boy's vertigophobic father? Definitely. Every carny's dream involves the acceptance of an executory contract. It's like a retirement plan.

Jay Vogt said...

The creepiness of this stupefying. I couldn't get through it all.

Did no one else notice that in his German-technocrat-on-Thorazine delivery, the way that he enunciated "roller coaster" sounded way too much like "holocauster"?

I wouldn't let that guy within a mile of anyone that i cared about.

On a lighter note, kudos to JR565 for reminding me of the movie, "The End". One of the funniest movies I ever saw. Burt Reynolds is a heckuva straight man.

Gahrie said...

..Do we have to take a shower before we get on this roller coaster?

Bill said...

He has the bloodless, clinical look of a euthanasia enthusiast.

Not unrelated: Lithuania has the world's second highest suicide rate.

Howard said...

CWJ: you need to lose the linear thinking (esp, in re. the Dead). I'm sure rhardin will confirm with his monomaniacal fixation on math/physics, we live in the exponential universe, e.g.: double the meaning, quadruple the fun (at least to the nearest practical quantification).

I'm sorry for your sheltered existence... the zipper is the exponential county-fair ride of all time... or was as I've only experienced the pre-'77, pre-nanny-state, pre-multiple fatalities, carny-approved rpms

Michael K said...

"China is great on abortion, if you want to kill fetuses and destroy a society."

China is going to hit a wall in a few years as a consequence of their abortion policy. They're going to go from "developing" to "aging" without passing GO.

Richard Dolan said...

God is dead. Let the killing begin.

All things considered, I prefer the old time religion.

n.n said...

China has a first-child policy. Liberal societies have a pro-choice or selective-child policy. It's a social simulator of Russian roulette that has been profitable to the Party and abortion industry.

Michael K:

They have already addressed the problem of excess unplanned males through the colonization of Africa. To be fair, it's a far more humane method to capture natural resources and control a population than the Mandela solution was to eviscerate the native white and black competing interests.

Laslo Spatula said...

Freeman Hunt said...
"The Zipper is a ride that feels like it's broken when you're on it--surely a ride isn't supposed to jostle a person so much! Part of the excitement."

Not my first choice, but "jostle" is a good word.


I am Laslo.

Laslo Spatula said...

"The Zipper is a ride that feels like it's broken when you're on it--surely a ride isn't supposed to jostle a person so much! Part of the excitement."

Not my first choice, but "jostle" is a good word."



Sorry: I was thinking of the Moustache Ride.

Apologies to all.

I am Laslo.

n.n said...

Bob Ellison:

The deception begins with representing the human life as a "fetus". While it is convenient to distinguish between the stages of evolution (e.g. baby, toddler, teenager, etc), it also developed as a euphemism to aid the normalization of abortion. Most prominently to promote acceptance of the amoral/immoral concept of "viability" or spontaneous conception.

I would argue that pro-choice or selective-child policy is more degenerate than the Chinese one-child or first-child policy. Pro-choice policy denies individual dignity and intrinsic value a la class diversity policy. It's a wicked solution to a "wicked problem" akin to arming a baby and forcing it to play Russian roulette. I think the game is rigged, because with near universality, the baby's head explodes with the first pull.

Alex said...

In 1942 this guy would be wearing an SS uniform.

The Godfather said...

I've always imagined that a big problem with suicide is that there's always a moment between the irreversible step and death, when you realize you really don't want to die, but there's nothing you can do to stop it -- if you jump off the Empire State Building it's several seconds (I'm sure some of the STEM folks can calculate it exactly) before you hit the pavement; even if you shoot yourself, there's that instant between the crisp snap of the trigger and the bullet entering your brain. The roller coaster would be worse. Even if you could stop the car before it reaches the top of the tower, after that you have many seconds of absolute terror before your brain shuts down.

Achilles said...

Is it any kind of coincidence that euthanasia enthusiasts are also generally statists? What is it with wanting more government control and killing people off?

Saint Croix said...

One thing I've noticed from my own life is that if I ever get really depressed, if I just wait it out the depression goes away.

Maybe it was all those damn cartoons I saw when I was 6. I have faith in my ADD.

Anyway, my normal emotional state is happy/optimistic. And I know it will all be good again if I'm patient.

One thing I noticed in film school is that the career of a filmmaker has a tendency towards manic-depression. You have these wild periods of frantic work, you're really exhilarated and happy, everything is fun, fun, fun, and you're working crazy hours. And then the movie's over, and you crash. You're sleepy and nothing's happening and everything is slow and relaxed. Your work schedule is rather like manic-depression. Manic work hours, and then nothing. Manic work hours, and then nothing.

I wonder if a calm, boring, steady job attracts calm, boring, steady personalities. Or does the job affect the personality? And does an exciting, crazy, on-and-off job attract that sort of personality? Or does the job affect the personality? Maybe a little of both.

Woody Allen says he thinks about suicide every day. That seems to me to be a really depressive state of mind. But he's in an exciting, uplifting career. If I was Allen's psychiatrist, I would try to get him to enjoy the mania. When you're manic, have fun with it! And when you're depressed, know that this state is temporary.

Saint Croix said...

"... either for dealing with overpopulation or if your life becomes... too long."

We talked about this a bit on the abortion thread. I believe that Roe was motivated by this, by fears about overpopulation. A lot of us miss this about Roe, because abortion has become synonymous with women's rights and feminism. But the original opinion does not seem to be motivated by feminism at all. That came later, in Casey

Indeed, Blackmun identifies his mindset early in the opinion. Specifically, it's the third paragraph.

In addition, population growth, pollution, poverty, and racial overtones tend to complicate and not to simplify the problem.

He's ruminating on some problems in our society. Overpopulation. Pollution. Poverty. And some kinda race problem. Too many black people? Too many white people? Maybe he's a self-hating racist. Anyway, in his abortion opinion, Harry Blackmun wants you to know that there are racial overtones. Awesome! Very excited to hear that, Harry.

It's possible that he's alluding to the whole history of Planned Parenthood and the eugenics movement. Maybe Marshall has clued him in to this history.

Later, in the abortion welfare cases, Blackmun would refer to the poor as a "cancer." Specifically he was talking about the "cancer of poverty." Maybe it's just an unfortunate metaphor, but that damn cancer metaphor keeps popping up when pro-abortion people bring up the subject. One of our most famous abortion doctors, Warren Hern, once published this article.

Saint Croix said...

On September 7, 1977, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a public warning, urging carnival-goers not to ride the Zipper after four deaths occurred due to compartment doors opening mid-ride.

Now imagine a government that requires the Zipper to open its doors mid-ride. And the robot voice comes on the radio. "This is your opportunity to exit the ride. This is your opportunity to exit the ride."

And if you think that's a scary government voice, how about this one?

"We don't know what a person is. We don't know what a person is."

Darleen said...

I've always imagined that a big problem with suicide is that there's always a moment between the irreversible step and death, when you realize you really don't want to die, but there's nothing you can do to stop it

IIRC of the survivors who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, about half of them changed their mind once they jumped.

CStanley said...

I've been on many roller coasters where some rider decides he wants this thing stopped, and I can tell you, they do not stop it.

I remember somebody reporting being on The Zipper with some kid who kept screaming, "Let me off! Let me off! I'll give you a million dollars if you let me get off!"


When I was a kid we used to visit a NJ amusement park (I think it was Pallisades) that had a Fun House attraction. To enter the Fun House, you had to crawl through a spinning tunnel, and of course the trick was to keep moving so that you didn't get thrown around like clothes in a clothes dryer.

Every time I got in I'd panic and would succumb to the centrifugal force. I'd start screaming and they actually did have to stop the spinning so that I could crawl through. I'm sure it didn't happen more than twice because my parents wouldn't have let me keep entering the thing (they probably gave me one do-over) but in my memory it's as though it happened over and over again. The combination of the allure of the Fun House itself and the desire to prove that I could conquer the spinning tunnel was overwhelming!

Rusty said...

Gran. Want to go to the carnival?

mikee said...

Rollercoasting into the afterlife?

Still not as elegant as Monty Python's report of the fellow who chose to be executed by leaping off a cliff after being chased by 100 topless young women.

And as a Texan I must protest your robot verifier that insists sliced brisket BBQ on a bun is a hamburger.