One's self? Isn't it oneself?
The two-word phrase one’s self is only justifiable when self is used in a spiritual, philosophical, or psychological sense. In all other cases, one’s self can be replaced with the pronoun oneself....So what do you think, did New York Magazine (the first link) use "one's self" properly? You see how to analyze the question (from the second link). Is the dadbod a more comprehensive spiritual/philosophical/psychological kind of thing or are we just talking about men's bodies as bodies?
[I]n these cases, one’s self works because self is meant in a spiritual, psychological, or philosophical sense: "[B]ut they tie into an uncritical assumption that one’s online self is a direct replica of one’s self in the real world. [The Atlantic]," "For him, being a renegade is about staying true to one’s self. [Clarksdale Press Register], "But in examining the universal need to define one’s self through narrative, it also explores the darker side of storytelling." [New York Times]
Allison: My friend has a theory that men with dadbods and doughier tummy areas are good at sex — better, even — than, say, a ripped-abbed man, because their guts push against your pubic bone in a pleasing way....It's always somebody's "friend" in these stories.
Anyway, what's with these ladies body-shaming men? Wouldn't they lambaste men talking about female bodies in a similar tone? They seem to be trying to justify this by accusing these "dadbod" men of already having shamed women for their out-of-shapeliness: "I've always found the dadbods I've been with pass judgement on my eating habits...," "Dadbods want to date skinny girls?," "Yeah," "I dated a dadbod in college, and he told me I needed to work out," "Dadbod as outer manifestation of his sense of entitlement??? DADBOD = PRIVILEGE???"
Getting back to this phrase "letting oneself go/letting one's self go," I feel like a shortcut to the answer is that you'd never accept: He let his self go. But isn't that only because rustic rubes have long been kicked around for saying "hisself" instead of "himself"? Yet if "hisself" is so clearly wrong, why is "myself" and not "meself"? Now, "herself" avoids the his-him/my-me inquiry, since it's "her" either way, and that leads us to the rustic rube with the deepest level of insight: George Strait. He's got a nice song titled "She Let Herself Go." A man imagines that "without him in her life, she'd let herself go," and she did, but the twist is that she didn't get fat and depressed. "She let herself go" in the positive sense:
Let herself go on a singles cruise,
To Vegas once, then to Honolulu.
Let herself go to New York City...
A week at the spa; came back knocked-out pretty.
When he said he didn't love her no mo'
She let herself go.
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32 comments:
"One's self" sounds right to me as an original construction. "Oneself" probably evolved from that. "Himself" and "themselves" are anomalous constructions. Should be "hisself" and "theirselves", like "herself" and "myself".
We have itself, too. With no apostrophes. That's a weird one.
"We have itself, too. With no apostrophes. That's a weird one."
Well, the possessive "its" has no apostrophe. "It's" means "it is." What's weird about "itself" isn't the lack of an apostrophe but the lack of a double s.
Except that "itself" is like "himself," using the objective pronoun instead of the possessive.
Yeah, that makes sense. Should be:
hisself
herself
theirselves
myself
it'sself
The "it's" rule annoys me.
Hmm, one's self can also be a noun.
Although we don't use that in the hood.
Vladimir stuffed the beef stroganoff into Putin'sself's mouth.
The oak tree shed its treeself's leaves.
Women are hypocrite when it comes to what they expect in a man's body and what they think men should expect.
There's at best a tenuous connection between grammar and logic. Grammar is all about usage, and how certain constructions have (or have not) be used in polite company in the past. So forget logic: grammar is a critical history of usage, and as with any history, is always being revised and rewritten, as the certitudes of the past are replaced by newer takes on an old subject.
That history vs. logic thing also isn't a new story, but it's nice to see that messy history rather than tidy logic is coming out the winner yet again. Usually does whenever the topic is what people do.
This brings up (to me anyway) Stephen Pinker's work on irregular verbs.
Small children say "I goed to the store."
That is how humans learn language. "Went" the past tense of "Go" is actually the past tense of an older form, "Wend." Modern dictionaries limit the verb Wend to "go slowly and circuitous route."
Pinker's book on irregular verbs, "The Language Instinct," is a favorite.
I have long felt that many married couples have a tacit agreement, "It's too much effort to be in shape and (relatively) thin. I don't expect you to make that effort if you don't expect me to."
Anyway, what's with these ladies body-shaming men?
They're gonna have to try a lot harder to make most men feel ashamed, because that ain't workin'.
She wondered how he’d take it when she’d say it was over.
Probably do some hard drinkin': a month or two be hungover.
But she had no idea, when she gave him the slip,
That without her in his life,
he'd just get himself ripped.
Got himself ripped for a 4-day ride,
West Virginia one time, to Moab twice.
Got himself ripped. From head to toe:
Skipped the beer and the chips; added squats and toe lifts.
When she said she didn't love him one bit,
He got himself ripped.
Poured his heart and his soul into their four-square mansion.
Spent his days mowin' lawns, always keepin’ his pants on.
Home from work late one night, he found the note in her script,
And without her there to stop him,
he got himself ripped.
Got himself ripped down at the local gym
Played some basketball, and made the 3-mile swim.
Got himself ripped and bought a second truck,
This one just for the bikes; and not for the mulch.
Drove out to Rockies he always said was too far.
Bombin’ down the big drops eased away the old scars.
He got himself ripped, he read Mark Rippetoe,
Basic Barbell Training and then some Pa-le-o.
Got himself ripped and left that dirty old city
A week on Mt. Tam; came back smiling’ and gritty.
When she said she didn't love him one bit
He got himself ripped.
Why do "mombods" always grow bingo wings?
My aunt weighed 95 pounds all her life.
She used to call me the fat one all the time.
Later I found out she was anorexic and died alone in her basement.
I call her the dead one all the time.
Women don't care if men have dadbods.
"She let herself go" brings to mind The Guess Who's song "Undun":
She's come undone
She didn't know what she was headed for
And when I found what she was headed for
It was too late
She's come undone
She found a mountain that was far too high
And when she found out she couldn't fly
It was too late
It's too late
She's gone too far
She's lost the sun
She's come undone.
Dadbods? I was 38 and 40 repectively when we had our two kids. I go to the gym 6 days week just so that I can keep up with them. One of the side benfits is having muscles to intimidate potential boyfriends.
SGT Ted said...
Women are hypocrite when it comes to what they expect in a man's body and what they think men should expect.
The real problem is in assuming that the male equivalent of beautiful woman is handsome man. No, the male equivalent of beautiful woman is rich man.
Just the same, the male equivalent of unattractive woman is not unattractive man, it's poor man.
If a man does 100 pushups per week (in sets of 10-20 or so) and 100 bicep curls per arm per week with at least 35 pounds per dumbbell (same), and maybe some shoulder presses using the same dumbbells, and eats a diet with a bit over the recommended amount of protein, he'll have decent arm and chest strength after about 6 months, and maybe even some definition if he lays off the carbs a bit. Really not hard AT ALL to get into "above-average" physical condition - just do more than the average bloke and you'll probably be set. IF you can do chinups, add them in and do 30 a week, five a day and rest on Sunday, and each time you chinup make sure you also pull your knees to your chest as part of the movement. You'll be the envy of the neighborhood barbeque.
One of the side benfits is having muscles to intimidate potential boyfriends.
Gym, hell. That's what guns are for.
To thine own dadbod be true.
"I knew someone who divorced her dadbod."
Because whatever she has, it's never enough.
I was at Walmart the other day and body size was an equal opportunity endeavor.
Why do I draw the inference from the article that the "dadbod" is being characterized exclusively as a white male phenomenon, and even thought black and hispanic men with extra body fat are just as if not more prevalent?
Molly: Dadbod as outer manifestation of his sense of entitlement??? DADBOD = PRIVILEGE???
Isabel: Dadbod = power, privilege, smugness.
It's all battle space preparation. The government is going to start to talk about who is costing the health insurance system the most. It will come down to health habits - the three bad ones, especially combined, are: smoking, being overweight and doing drugs. So magazines etc. are constantly on about these issues so that the alert can start to change and especially start to think about these health habits the "right" way.
The right way is to think that under Obamacare it's OK not to treat the medical conditions of people who have wrong health habits. We aren't there yet. But it's a'comin'
Tim and Freeman have it right.
I've never really cared much if women, or a woman, said something negative about how I look. The way I dress, or my hair style, or even my dadbode.
However, I've always wanted to be respected for my success in life. My financial success.
I'd rather be seen as physically unattractive, than poor.
wildswan, if they try that, we'll have to hit 'em hard with the stats about how much more health care dollars go to women vs. men. I bet they won't want to upset that apple cart too much.
My mom recently passed at just shy of her 89th birthday, having survived major back surgery, breast cancer, knee replacement, hip replacement, etc. She never smoked and was thin all her life. Her brother died in his 40's of lung cancer (heavy smoker). My 50-something male cousin died not too long ago from a sudden heart attack.
Who do you suppose used more health care dollars? Not that I begrudge it, obviously.
And of course, Mom's congestive heart failure will go into that misleading statistic you see all the time about how heart disease is the #1 killer of women, as if she succumbed in the prime of life, rather than "dying of old-age" as we used to call it.
"dadbod"?... oh good God...
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are these feminista authors all 14 years old at a slumber party passing judgement on the entire male gender?.. perpetual snarling mean girls who'd happily push a lesser being into traffic?
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seems so....
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I'm old enough to remember when the term male chauvinist was a pejorative insult... seems these feminists being as blindly self aware of their hypocrisy as they are.. have dropped anything about "equality" and leaped straight to it's opposite.. arrogant female chauvinist. hectoring men endlessly on their vast superiority to those evil knuckle draggin men...
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How about this.. don't make demands of others you would not make of yourself.. and.. get over yourself..
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This obsession with having the perfect body not for yourself, but to rub it others faces is shallow, narcissistic and sick.. and frankly,.. if they really want to play this game.. every so called feminist spouting this crap is usually as far removed from the Hollywood female ideal as ET...
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my wife has had three pregnancies.. I had my back broken.. completely disabled.. so running to the gym is not exactly our biggest worry.. paying the bills is.. we struggle on in our unenlightened marriage.. and that fact she's no longer a size 2.. and I'm not thin either since an arthritic spine problematic.. we stumble on.. loving each other without caring what the self appointed superior people think...
Blogger tim maguire said...
SGT Ted said...
Women are hypocrite when it comes to what they expect in a man's body and what they think men should expect.
The real problem is in assuming that the male equivalent of beautiful woman is handsome man. No, the male equivalent of beautiful woman is rich man.
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That's a truth feminists hate.. but it is true..
.in my experience.. minus Atlantic feminist authors... women are nowhere close to men as to judging by a body type.. it's a combination of things..
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Being a capable provider.. being confident in yourself and your skills.. and personality...
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but Have any of us ever seen a really rich guy with an ugly woman not their sister?... but we see attractive female stars with ugly men... I reject that women are entirely mercenary.. they aren't for the most part.. but most see a young man who's not physically perfect but fully employed as successful.. assured.. they see a young guy who's ripped,.. but never held down a job more than a few months in their lives.. the same way other men do.. a loser.. a prospective mooch on a successful bride.. nothing wrong with that.
Feminism devolved into a mean girls clique a long time ago. Lena Dunham is today's archetypal feminist and "dadbods" is about the level of discourse we can expect from feminists now.
Opinion surveys show that 80% of American women will not even consider dating a man who is shorter than 5'8" tall. Tell us again how it's men who are shallow and preoccupied with physical looks.
So last year at the beach my thirty-year-old daughter smilingly commented on my Dad-bod.
Basically, I'm slender and my muscles are tight, but my skin is getting thin and is a white outline of Bermuda Shorts and a polo shirt.
She also once said men in Colorado have the best calves.
Sorry Ann - some men actually wear shorts.
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