Although the article is intended as satire it is in a more profound way true. As Birkel noted the only real qualification for president that Hillary! has is that she likes pussy cats and she has a pussy. Other than that, there no there there.
For months Clinton has run a front-porch campaign — if by porch you mean Boo Radley’s. Getting her outdoors is hard enough; when she does get out it’s often to give paid speeches to people who look just like her: educated, prosperous and privileged. Needing desperately to connect with the broader public, she opts for the virtual reality of a pre-taped video delivered via social media. Go figure.
Pretty good. The Democrats are going to be in agony as they watch this. How long before Kerry decides he could do better ?
Sure it's a satire, but she should do this for real. Honestly, it's no less substantive than the usual blather you get in these political adverts. Look at Obama. Replacing her campaign adverts with videos of kittens would be a bold, transgressive move.
I went there hoping to be able to comment that when Hillary's lost the New Yorker humorists, you know she's in trouble.
But it's really a joke about those hateful angry Republicans -- the "joke" is that even if she released a puff piece with happy kittens playing they'd still attack her for it. See: "wrath" and "visibly furious".
And, as BDNYC points out... it's not really that funny. You've got commenters here doing much better satire.
The author couldn't even do a good Republican impression -- the issues are all phrased as a Democrat would phrase them in attacking Republicans. Seriously -- have you ever heard a Republican discuss whether Walker or Cruz would be better able to "repair our damaged reputation abroad"?
It's funny in the way that it's funny to say that Democrats in Congress have finally gotten serious about deficit reduction -- they have a new $100b spending bill to promote deficit awareness among low-information voters.
Blogger Balfegor said... "Sure it's a satire, but she should do this for real. Honestly, it's no less substantive than the usual blather you get in these political adverts. Look at Obama. Replacing her campaign adverts with videos of kittens would be a bold, transgressive move."
Jonathan Chait is pretty sure Hillary will win, mainly, he says, because: The argument for Clinton in 2016 is that she is the candidate of the only major American political party not run by lunatics. There is only one choice for voters who want a president who accepts climate science and rejects voodoo economics, and whose domestic platform would not engineer the largest upward redistribution of resources in American history.
From my perspective the republicans just don't seem to like anybody - even other republicans who they call RINOS. They don't like gays, they don't like women, they don't like blacks, they definitely don't like Latinos or immigrants, they don't like poor people, they don't like anyone who disagrees with them, they don't like the earth or air or water, they want to go backwards in time (which is impossible)
What they do appear like is bombing and killing people. They always seem like they are itching to go to war...
sunsong said... [hush][hide comment] Jonathan Chait is pretty sure Hillary will win, mainly, he says, because: The argument for Clinton in 2016 is that she is the candidate of the only major American political party not run by lunatics. There is only one choice for voters who want a president who accepts climate science and rejects voodoo economics, and whose domestic platform would not engineer the largest upward redistribution of resources in American history.
From my perspective the republicans just don't seem to like anybody - even other republicans who they call RINOS. They don't like gays, they don't like women, they don't like blacks, they definitely don't like Latinos or immigrants, they don't like poor people, they don't like anyone who disagrees with them, they don't like the earth or air or water, they want to go backwards in time (which is impossible)
What they do appear like is bombing and killing people. They always seem like they are itching to go to war...
4/13/15, 1:16 PM
OK, I can't tell if this is satire or not. It "feels" like he is trying to be satirical against Republicans but it is also a lot of the same stuff I have seen Democrats say with all seriousness.
Just about all of the Republicans I know don't hate anyone. They just want to be left alone to do. They want to not be preached at by coastals about how stupid and evil they are that they don't believe the same religions that the coastals do (man-made GW, multi-multiculturalism, progressivism, liberalism, etc.).
Don't know where these Democrats run into all of these right-wing haters. I guess they just don't travel in my circles...
"WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in."
"WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in."
Hill loves cats so much that she rejected Socks the ugly cat after the Clintons were kicked out of the White House along with the silverware and fine china.
Presidential Secretary Betty Currie became Sock's owner.
All that really matters is that she's wearing Orange & Blue at her presidential announcement. Go Illinois !! With all puns aside, she's notable, she's in the books, she's an eloquent speaker, and still so very cute at her tender age. She'll be great for at least 4 years. Camp Hillary ... Way to Go!!
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68 comments:
I hope they didn't forget the gay cats.
That's pretty good.
Don't you think she looks tired?
I admit I had to click the link to see if this was satire or real.
I thought we were supposed to call her "Mrs. Clinton"
Eh, Borowitz at the New Yorker? Those apples in the picture are aged and spotted, definitely a dog whistle.
Also Meow meow meow meow. is more intelligent than much of what actually does come out of Clinton campaign.
Is Hillary trying to lock up the "crazy cat lady" vote?
"Vote for me. I have a pussy."
Do I have that right?
Awesome. They spent lots of money on the kitten vote. Can kittens vote? And will they vote for Hillary Kitten?
Birkel said...
"Vote for me. I have a pussy."
Do I have that right?
4/13/15, 12:18 PM
Damn! Thats brilliant!
Stray cats and women are people too. Enough of this Big Dog Priviledge.
Miss Kitty for VP.
This ad is insulting and insensitive to Canine Americans.
"Squirrel!"
Hi, I'm Hillary. And I like Pussy.
Although the article is intended as satire it is in a more profound way true. As Birkel noted the only real qualification for president that Hillary! has is that she likes pussy cats and she has a pussy. Other than that, there no there there.
Cat women, aging single boomers. Usually lonely and looney. She knows her target audience.
That kitten over there looks racist! And Christian!
Salon is already unhappy with her campaign.
For months Clinton has run a front-porch campaign — if by porch you mean Boo Radley’s. Getting her outdoors is hard enough; when she does get out it’s often to give paid speeches to people who look just like her: educated, prosperous and privileged. Needing desperately to connect with the broader public, she opts for the virtual reality of a pre-taped video delivered via social media. Go figure.
Pretty good. The Democrats are going to be in agony as they watch this. How long before Kerry decides he could do better ?
If she fails in this campaign, Bill will probably cut her loose. She'll end up rattling around in the house in Chappaqua surrounded by cats.
Well, we already knew how much Bill likes young pussy.
Isn't satire supposed to be funny?
This only adds to my low opinion of what passes for humor at the New Yorker. Those cartoon captions are aggressively unfunny.
...because nobody ever killed a kitten over a video featuring Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Sure it's a satire, but she should do this for real. Honestly, it's no less substantive than the usual blather you get in these political adverts. Look at Obama. Replacing her campaign adverts with videos of kittens would be a bold, transgressive move.
Just one of those whiney ads for adoption of undernourished cats, dogs, kids which we see on cable channels.
As men wear ties, women show their fur.
I went there hoping to be able to comment that when Hillary's lost the New Yorker humorists, you know she's in trouble.
But it's really a joke about those hateful angry Republicans -- the "joke" is that even if she released a puff piece with happy kittens playing they'd still attack her for it. See: "wrath" and "visibly furious".
And, as BDNYC points out... it's not really that funny. You've got commenters here doing much better satire.
The author couldn't even do a good Republican impression -- the issues are all phrased as a Democrat would phrase them in attacking Republicans. Seriously -- have you ever heard a Republican discuss whether Walker or Cruz would be better able to "repair our damaged reputation abroad"?
It's funny in the way that it's funny to say that Democrats in Congress have finally gotten serious about deficit reduction -- they have a new $100b spending bill to promote deficit awareness among low-information voters.
Blogger Balfegor said...
"Sure it's a satire, but she should do this for real. Honestly, it's no less substantive than the usual blather you get in these political adverts. Look at Obama. Replacing her campaign adverts with videos of kittens would be a bold, transgressive move."
+1.
Jonathan Chait is pretty sure Hillary will win, mainly, he says, because:
The argument for Clinton in 2016 is that she is the candidate of the only major American political party not run by lunatics. There is only one choice for voters who want a president who accepts climate science and rejects voodoo economics, and whose domestic platform would not engineer the largest upward redistribution of resources in American history.
From my perspective the republicans just don't seem to like anybody - even other republicans who they call RINOS. They don't like gays, they don't like women, they don't like blacks, they definitely don't like Latinos or immigrants, they don't like poor people, they don't like anyone who disagrees with them, they don't like the earth or air or water, they want to go backwards in time (which is impossible)
What they do appear like is bombing and killing people. They always seem like they are itching to go to war...
There are still kittens? I thought Rand Paul cooked and ate them all.
SNL did a nice job on Hillary on Saturday.
But if you're mocked so incessantly by the all-knowing East Coast Glitterati and their minions, do you stand a chance?
I've always wondered who actually believes the stuff DWS says about Republicans.
Now I have my answer.
Sunsong.
Is there anyone with less integrity than Hillary! running for POTUS in 2016?
sunsong said... [hush][hide comment]
Jonathan Chait is pretty sure Hillary will win, mainly, he says, because:
The argument for Clinton in 2016 is that she is the candidate of the only major American political party not run by lunatics. There is only one choice for voters who want a president who accepts climate science and rejects voodoo economics, and whose domestic platform would not engineer the largest upward redistribution of resources in American history.
From my perspective the republicans just don't seem to like anybody - even other republicans who they call RINOS. They don't like gays, they don't like women, they don't like blacks, they definitely don't like Latinos or immigrants, they don't like poor people, they don't like anyone who disagrees with them, they don't like the earth or air or water, they want to go backwards in time (which is impossible)
What they do appear like is bombing and killing people. They always seem like they are itching to go to war...
4/13/15, 1:16 PM
OK, I can't tell if this is satire or not. It "feels" like he is trying to be satirical against Republicans but it is also a lot of the same stuff I have seen Democrats say with all seriousness.
Just about all of the Republicans I know don't hate anyone. They just want to be left alone to do. They want to not be preached at by coastals about how stupid and evil they are that they don't believe the same religions that the coastals do (man-made GW, multi-multiculturalism, progressivism, liberalism, etc.).
Don't know where these Democrats run into all of these right-wing haters. I guess they just don't travel in my circles...
What's next bag ladies doing the can-can??
I missed a reference to her campaign slogan:
"Any pussy will do."
"WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in."
http://www.theonion.com/articles/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for,38416/
"WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds. “Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in."
http://www.theonion.com/articles/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for,38416/
As usual, the Onion is a better source of real news than NYT,Wapo etc.
Hill loves cats so much that she rejected Socks the ugly cat after the Clintons were kicked out of the White House along with the silverware and fine china.
Presidential Secretary Betty Currie became Sock's owner.
When Clinton and I were in law school together, before she failed the bar exam, she stole my kitten.
I want my kitten back Mrs. Clinton.
And no, I did not have sexual relations with that kitten, Hillary Rodham.
I disgust myself.
Katherine Willey's cat could not be reached for comment.
Probably because he's now Vince Foster's cat . . . if you know what I mean.
Re Jim & Bob Boyd:
Clinton II could have the best campaign ever. Kittens interspersed with creepy ultimatums to the people of the US.
Sort of a "She killed my ma, she killed my pa, but I will vote for her" vibe.
@Chadwick
That there is funny.
FUNNY !
I'm happy to say that I figured out that was not real before I finished the article. Very funny
All that really matters is that she's wearing Orange & Blue at her presidential announcement. Go Illinois !! With all puns aside, she's notable, she's in the books, she's an eloquent speaker, and still so very cute at her tender age. She'll be great for at least 4 years. Camp Hillary ... Way to Go!!
Cheezy propaganda is cheezy.
And more than a little creepy.
Ain't gonna work for us dog folk!
And Chait? That boy's nuts. NUTS! Which is/are what's running the Democrat Party.
@Sam L.
And Chait? That boy's nuts
Yes, he is. He had & Franklin Foer had much to do with sending The New Republic off the rails.
He's not gotten any saner since.
If she made this for real she'd probably get 20% of the millenials just on the kittens.
"Birkel said...
"Vote for me. I have a pussy.""
I'm not so sure.
Curious George said...
"Birkel said...
"Vote for me. I have a pussy.""
I'm not so sure.
4/13/15, 3:02 PM
Is that "have" or "has had"?
The title of the video was "Pussy Galore."
"YEEEAAAHHHH!!"
I think it is Hilary saying to lezzies that she likes pussy.
I HAZ CHEEZBUGRER FOR PREZ!!! -CP
"What they do appear like is bombing and killing people. They always seem like they are itching to go to war..."
No, those are Obama's friends. The guys he is getting together with for a chin wag.
Republicans are those guys running the appliance store where you bought your refrigerator.
The onion is a better source of news for you guys.
Subtle. "Vote for me and my pussy."
Who cleans out the litter tray?
What is her message - Dolores Umbridge for President?
Sebastian is the thread winner!
Sarcastic, funny and to the point.
Good Job!
No kittens were harmed during the production of this commercial
Republicans would generate the biggest upwards wealth growth ever?
Has Chait missed the Obama admin? Only ones doing well are the extremely rich.
They're pussies. It's subliminal advertising.
On Imus just now: If we had an empire, we'd have an emporer; if we had a kingdom we'd have a king; as it is, we have a country, and we've got Hillary.
Hillary
Because you really are that stupid.
Imus, WTA?
Thanks, Tank.
But one erratum: I meant "Kathleen" Willey, not "Katherine." See:
http://www.nysun.com/new-york/did-hillary-clinton-order-a-kitten-caper/65976/
Gawd. . . . . .
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