"I love this Wisconsin team so much that I hate them. I hate that they got to go to the Final Four last year, that it was so much fun that all the players who didn’t graduate came back, and that now they get to do it all over again. I hate that they’re taking Final Four selfies, messing with stenographers, adorably embarrassing themselves in press conferences, adorably embarrassing themselves in postgame interviews, growing out their mustaches, and wearing GoPros on their chests. I hate that they (almost) make Bo Ryan likable. I hate that their three most famous fans are a Florida alum (Andy North), a Cal alum (Aaron Rodgers), and an Oklahoma alum (Olivia Munn) who just can’t resist cheering for a team this fun. I hate that this is not only the best player on their team — he’s also the best player in the country.... I hate that all of this is happening with Wisconsin just because it’s not also happening to me. If Wisconsin held an auction in which the highest bidder got to ride mopeds, play FIFA, eat cheese curds, drink Spotted Cows, and do whatever else happens when you hang with the Buzzcuts for a week, I’d bid somewhere in the neighborhood of $7 billion."
Writes Mark Titus.
March 31, 2015
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
31 comments:
It's MARK Titus, proud alum of THE Ohio State University!
Huh.
Spotted Cow tastes like dirty dishwater. There are so many better choices available in this state.
That's an entertaining column. Love the comment about the ND mascot.
Also, #7. Truth.
Spotted Cow is a good beer for new beer drinkers. It goes excellent with bratwurst.
Disappointed the column didn't end with
"tits"
@Tim Thanks. Sorry. Fixed.
It will all be fun if they beat Kentucky. Losing is a lot less fun.
Go buzzcuts!
In another chapter of "You only get yourself in trouble when using Twitter," Bo Ryan's daughter slanders a student athlete who chose Maryland over Madison.
The tweet and the attached article is an ugly lie. The athlete was accepted into UW-Madison, but ended up choosing Maryland instead.
ESPN Titus is the most entertaining writer at the Grantland site. Bill Simmons is very good too, but can be tedious.
If you want to see rude interruption (another theme for today) watch Bill simmons's interview with Amy Wambach and Alex Morgan of the women's soccer team. Wambach walks all over Morgan without even knowing she's doing it. Now that's some mansplaining.
I hate that they (almost) make Bo Ryan likable.
I bought into it up to this point. Nothing in heaven or on earth can make Bo Ryan even close to likeable.
"Spotted Cow tastes like dirty dishwater."
I do not understand what people see in that beer. It literally makes me nauseous. And I mean that literally.
"I hate that they (almost) make Bo Ryan likable."
I like Bo Ryan. Admittedly, he's a little weird, but he's a good man who does things the right way, with the welfare of his players foremost in his mind. At least that's what it looks like from the outside.
Good to know there are other Spotted Cow-phobes.
But try Two Women sometime. That is a good lager.
Once you've had Two Women, you'll never go back to the cow.
Spotted Cow is a shitty beer, which is surprising because New Glarus makes other fabulous brews. Moon Man is great. Hopster, their new creation, is spectacular.
Just saw Hopster recently. A play on Hipster, of course. Will have to try it. A fact-finding investigation purely for scientific purposes.
"Hopster, their new creation, is spectacular."
Sounds delicious.
OM
Give Hopster a try. Hopped wheat. Hefeweiss meets American Pale Ale. It's just a nuts beer.
If you like sports and a comedic slant on life, Titus is a gift from the gods. Even when he's riffing on my Jayhawks.
By the way, if you're not familiar with the work of Mark Titus, you might enjoy this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V6FCitvRUM
Hopster, their new creation, is spectacular.
Thanks for the tip. Sounds like a great choice for summertime sipping.
When you guys get into Milwaukee check out the new Company Brewing brewpub. Opening 4/15. I know the owner.
I hate that they beat Arizona with an unprecedented (for them) display of three-point shooting.
I love that they won't be able to keep Kentucky from kicking their asses by repeating the display.
Yes. I am a sore loser.
@CG, that's on my list, next time I'm over there. Damn that 45/894/94 interchange though.
hombre, I can't say your prognostication skills have a good track record.
Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to Yelp a review after my visit.
"When you guys get into Milwaukee check out the new Company Brewing brewpub. Opening 4/15. I know the owner."
Thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to Yelp a review after my visit.
@MadisonMan(2:31): I don't recall any erroneous predictions here. Hoping is not predicting.
I feel pretty safe with this one. Kentucky has had its lame game.
Oh, pshaw! It seems to be coming about that this country is divided into two parts - the republic of the United States and Wisconsin.
- 'Uncle Joe' Cannon
Speaker of the House, 1903-1911
Post a Comment