Last time I wandered off into the wilderness, intoxicated, for 46 miles and 15 hours, I ended up pregnant with a litter of pups, so that was the end of that!
"only carrying a little .22 rifle." So, I'm imagining Glenn Reynolds' reaction to this datum. (Under the circumstances, what good was THAT tiny thing going to do him? Clearly, he was impaired. Course, the drunker you are, the smaller caliber weapon you ought to carry. Safety First, folks.)
Hollywood has probably already bought the rights to his story.
Just need to add some of the following to add depth to this heart-wrenching saga of endurance and redemption:
• His family at a party: self-absorbed, the son in particular: they don't even notice when he says "I think I'll go for a walk."
• his encounter with young free spirits in a van 1/3rd of the way through the film: these youngsters respect the man's vitality, lots of conversation about how society is so much noise, can't it all just be simple, man? Can't we just have some time for ourselves? Obligatory shot of one of the kids bemoaning lack of cell-phone reception. They leave him with another beer before they go.
• Flashbacks of him as a child, wandering alone through the frozen wilderness, looking for his lost dog. These scenes intercut thematically: at the end is the heart-warming scene when he finally finds the puppy: face-licking, sun shining on the snow, etc.;
• Epic winter windstorm 2/3rds of the way through the film: frozen ice, falling branches, a fall down a ravine, wolves watching intently, perhaps a gunshot to try to ward them off for extra drama;
• the crawl out of the ravine: he has hurt his leg: how much can he endure? The last part of the movie he will incorporate a limp for pathos;
• delirious, he encounters the spirit of his father, dressed from the icy Korean War: they -- finally -- have the talk they so missed in real life. His Father is Proud of him! Uplift.
• he is finally found by the rescue party, only to find they aren't needed. His son walks with him the rest of the way.
• a final shot of his younger self, walking home with his found dog.
How could I forget? Add cryptic scenes of him checking the time on an old pocket-watch. When he encounters the spirit of his father the father is checking the time on his same pocket-watch: "You're late."
Conversation about the nature of time: passing fast, passing slow.
We're going for the Oscar here, people. Maybe we get Tom Hanks as the Father.
"Heck, he was in no trouble. Pity they freaked and organized a search party."
We had a guy like that here. I woke up seeing blue lights flashing out on the lake, it turned out that the guy was ice fishing and got a little lost in his pickup in a whiteout, and snuggled in to wait for daylight. He thought it was odd that they sent out all of those people to search for him.
Of course lots of pickup trucks disappear through the ice, often to be spotted by small planes in the spring if they go through in shallow enough water. I think a section of ice just tips and dumps them in and then resettles back where it was, like a frog eating a bug.
We live in a world where the Atlanta Hawks are the best basketball team in the world and Jeff Teague fucking OWNS John Wall, Chris Paul, and Derrick Rose.
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39 comments:
What's a ptarmigan?
did they let him finish his walk? or did they force him into a truck just 4 miles short of his goal?
His retrospective via Captain Obvious
A ptarmigan is one of those things with a silent "P," like "ptomaine" and "Psmith."
Brian Williams led him to safety but was too modest to stick around.
How many time around Lake Medota iwould 50 miles be? The Meads will need a three day weekend and Zeus tag team dogs for that long a march .
Hold my beer!! Watch this!!
Last time I wandered off into the wilderness, intoxicated, for 46 miles and 15 hours, I ended up pregnant with a litter of pups, so that was the end of that!
"only carrying a little .22 rifle."
So, I'm imagining Glenn Reynolds' reaction to this datum.
(Under the circumstances, what good was THAT tiny thing going to do him? Clearly, he was impaired. Course, the drunker you are, the smaller caliber weapon you ought to carry. Safety First, folks.)
"the drunker you are, the smaller caliber weapon you ought to carry."
If you're drunk you need a shotgun.
Or full auto.
A ptarmigan is a bird with fuzzy winter feet.
BTW, I think this story smells fishy. 50 miles in 15 hours? Walking through bogs and such? Prove it. (It's that you, Rosie Ruiz?)
I totally get it.
god
drunken fools
etc
Yet another case in America of where high-speed rail would've helped tremendously.
I am Laslo.
I like this guy. I've known people like him.
Heck, he was in no trouble. Pity they freaked and organized a search party.
If I'm walking that distance there better be a naked Scarlett Johansson waiting for me on the other end. Maybe tied to a bedpost, at that.
I am Laslo.
My father always insisted that the P was silent in swimming too.
Badass. Good on him.
Without heavy gear, <80 lbs, 4 miles an hour isn't difficult over flat land.
Alaskans are different. In many ways the NY Times hasn't thought of. Or Tina Fey.
Just watched a preview of the NBA finals. The Hawks won over a very good Golden State team. But will they win 4 out of 7?
NBC needs to interview this guy about Sarah Palin rumors he has heard.
And for that they will need to send for.....Katie Couric! She is back to replace what's his name.
Good for him. He wanted to do something and he set out to do it. There's a trace of Roald Amundsen in there somewhere.
No tags?
Hollywood has probably already bought the rights to his story.
Just need to add some of the following to add depth to this heart-wrenching saga of endurance and redemption:
• His family at a party: self-absorbed, the son in particular: they don't even notice when he says "I think I'll go for a walk."
• his encounter with young free spirits in a van 1/3rd of the way through the film: these youngsters respect the man's vitality, lots of conversation about how society is so much noise, can't it all just be simple, man? Can't we just have some time for ourselves? Obligatory shot of one of the kids bemoaning lack of cell-phone reception. They leave him with another beer before they go.
• Flashbacks of him as a child, wandering alone through the frozen wilderness, looking for his lost dog. These scenes intercut thematically: at the end is the heart-warming scene when he finally finds the puppy: face-licking, sun shining on the snow, etc.;
• Epic winter windstorm 2/3rds of the way through the film: frozen ice, falling branches, a fall down a ravine, wolves watching intently, perhaps a gunshot to try to ward them off for extra drama;
• the crawl out of the ravine: he has hurt his leg: how much can he endure? The last part of the movie he will incorporate a limp for pathos;
• delirious, he encounters the spirit of his father, dressed from the icy Korean War: they -- finally -- have the talk they so missed in real life. His Father is Proud of him! Uplift.
• he is finally found by the rescue party, only to find they aren't needed. His son walks with him the rest of the way.
• a final shot of his younger self, walking home with his found dog.
I am Laslo.
How could I forget?
Add cryptic scenes of him checking the time on an old pocket-watch. When he encounters the spirit of his father the father is checking the time on his same pocket-watch: "You're late."
Conversation about the nature of time: passing fast, passing slow.
We're going for the Oscar here, people. Maybe we get Tom Hanks as the Father.
I am Laslo.
Perhaps Scarlett Johannson is one of the free-spirits in the van. Every movie has room for Scarlett Johansson.
I am Laslo.
Tom Hanks to his young son in flashback: "Son, sometimes dogs get lost." Portent.
I am Laslo.
Brad Pitt will desperately want the part, but he'll then want a part for Angelina Jolie shoe-horned into the film: NO BRAD PITT.
I am Laslo.
AND NO JOHNNY DEPP!
Please God, no Johnny Depp.
Because then, inevitably: directed by Tim Burton.
Which means, inevitably: a role for Helena Bonham Carter.
No, no, no.
I am Laslo.
Mark Wahlberg: there is not an Oscar in your future. Not the part for you.
I am Laslo.
Written strangely early in the morning.
I am Laslo.
In the van with Scarlett Johansson? Taylor Swift!
Scarlett Johansson AND Taylor Swift!
And then Taylor Swift could write the winsome opening-credits song: we'll get the kids to come see this film, dammit.
Maybe Johansson and Swift can give off a little 'Thelma and Louise' vibe: they are on the run from SOMETHING, obviously.
It practically writes itself.
I am Laslo.
Careful Laslo, per Get Shorty if it almost writes itself, what the $&)!? do I need you for?
It doesn't write itself damnit; We need you!
For humor we need a grizzly running around trying to eat the lead. In the end we will see Grizz was playing around, goofing off, all along.
"Heck, he was in no trouble. Pity they freaked and organized a search party."
We had a guy like that here. I woke up seeing blue lights flashing out on the lake, it turned out that the guy was ice fishing and got a little lost in his pickup in a whiteout, and snuggled in to wait for daylight. He thought it was odd that they sent out all of those people to search for him.
Of course lots of pickup trucks disappear through the ice, often to be spotted by small planes in the spring if they go through in shallow enough water. I think a section of ice just tips and dumps them in and then resettles back where it was, like a frog eating a bug.
We live in a world where the Atlanta Hawks are the best basketball team in the world and Jeff Teague fucking OWNS John Wall, Chris Paul, and Derrick Rose.
The apocalypse is upon us!
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