December 8, 2014

"It seemed like a critical juncture in my young life: we were either going to sleep with John [Lennon] and his sidekick (whose name we never knew)..."

"... or we were going to throw them out. Lori threw them out. I was incredulous...."
“What’re we…crazy?” I shrieked to Lori. “Do you realize who we just forced to leave? John Lennon!”

Lori could have taught a Ph.D. course in one-night stands and kinky sex. Why did she decide to be so damn moral that night?

“His friend was a pig,” she said, and then suddenly started having misgivings....
Some year — it's the death date again — every last story about John Lennon will have dribbled out.

36 comments:

traditionalguy said...

More dribble out stories? I for one will not believe until I see the blue dress.

madAsHell said...

I haven't written my John Lennon story. Maybe I'll create something for next year....

The Drill SGT said...

The story of women is the story of their desire to 'trade-up' in men...

George Grady said...

Where's Laslo and his Imaginary Beatle story?

amr said...

"(whose name we never knew)..."
Ringo never gets any respect.

JAORE said...

Ahhh, but could it have been rape? Rape of the drunken John Lennon that is.

Kevin said...

HIs unnamed partner may just have been one Harry Nilsson, who was known to be along for much of John's wild year.

FullMoon said...

Traditionalguy said... [hush]​[hide comment]

More dribble out stories? I for one will not believe until I see the blue dress.


AA sets 'em up, and you.....

Yancey Ward said...

The side kick was Yoko.

Smilin' Jack said...

His friend was a pig,” she said, and then suddenly started having misgivings....

Now we know that the time to have misgivings is after the sex. "I was raped by John Lennon!" makes a much cooler story.

Paco Wové said...

“His friend was a pig”

Bah. They were all pigs.

William said...

If you're ever having relationship problems, the best way to resolve the issues is to sleep with a celebrity. Her and her boyfriend could have bonded over this......I don't understand why women feel it shameful to have their name mentioned in a college rape case, but would kind of brag about being a latent groupie.

The Godfather said...

Remind me someday to tell you about the week I spent with Marilyn Monroe. Of course I'm too much the gentleman to say whether it was consummated.

donald said...

Larry Munson, the legendary and beloved by everybody voice of the Georgia Bulldogs who has passed on to his reward got to talking one day and explained that Anne Margeret was a pretty simple piece of ass to nail. And that he spoke from experience.

Larry was kinduva a gd around these parts.

donald said...

God. He was kinduva God.

Good Minnesota boy.

Known Unknown said...

Man, that was boring.

Wilbur said...

His unnamed partner was Arnold Ziffel.

Anonymous said...

"Candy Schulman"? Is that a real name?

I'm surprised how few of these cutesified one-night stand stories have come out, actually. There were supposedly many hundreds of situations and merely dozens of stories, even post-Internet.

ganderson said...

Larry Munson was not just a Minnesotan, he was a Ted- Just like Reed Larson, Jesse Ventura, Mike Ramsey, and kinda-sorta, Badger Bob Johnson.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Donald, any fellow who says that it is a simple thing to pull Ann-Margret should have his directions taken down in letters of fire.

Ann, if you're trying to convince us that women are trash and deserve what they get...you're just pounding the rubble.

Clyde said...

It just goes to show that fame isn't transferable via body fluids. When a star bangs a groupie, he's still a star and she's still a groupie when it's over, just a sticky one. The same thing is true for political acumen (ask Mrs. Clinton).

I suspect that most of those groupie sexual experiences were rather disillusioning. Those girls were no more valued than a bowl of M&Ms in a contract rider and just as discardable.

Anonymous said...

@clyde. I think this story shows equally that when an almost groupie *doesn't* bang a star, he's still a star and she's not suddenly valuable just for not banging him. She is filled with regret many years later and her story isn't that interesting. The inequality stands either way.

n.n said...

A critical notch on her bedpost.

Jupiter said...

"It began in Washington Square Park. Lori and I were trekking home to the Village from our jobs as drug abuse counselors in the roughest schools in East New York."

Why do I think this is bullshit? Why don't I believe that in 1973, a couple of 20-year-old sluts were "drug abuse counselors in the roughest schools in East New York"?

Do I have to believe women who didn't get raped?

If you missed an opportunity to be fucked by John Lennon, does that make you a "survivor"?

CStanley said...

It's telling that her fantasy wasn't about a wild night of sex with him but about becoming his wife. I'm sure there are exceptions but most women are not wired for one night stands.

socally773 said...

Dunno, David Peel always struck me as a kind of pig.

donald said...

What's a Ted?

The Godfather said...

Hey Jupiter! You don't believe the 20-year-old author was a drug counselor? You sell her short. Why she was already working on her Masters in Psychology NYU! A very bright young woman.

And she and her friend were NOT sluts. They wanted to be, but they didn't make it. At least not that time.

mccullough said...

Better than nothing is a high standard

eddie willers said...

As a devoted UGA and Larry Munson fan, I am so glad he was able to hunker down with Ann-Margret.

I can hear him now:

"There goes Ann-Margret with those great big thighs of hers churning...."

David said...

So John Lennon and his pig friend did not rape her. Good.

David said...

Most nights my roommate’s boyfriend stayed over, a drummer who earned his living selling cocaine. He listened to Coltrane while I was trying to study Abnormal Psychology. Lori was on-again off-again with a heroin addict who lived in Alphabet City in an era that made Rent look tame.

20 year ild drug counselors.

ganderson said...

A Ted is a graduate of Theodore Roosevelt High School in South Minneapolis. Bob Johnson went to Central, but was the hockey coach at Roosevelt, so....

Jupiter said...

"Her liaisons with men, women, and combinations were far more brazen and widespread than mine..."

Sluts.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

jr565 said...

I think she threw him out because she was going to get the pig for the night and her friend was going to get John Lennon. And I wonder if the pig was Harry Nillsson. They seemed to spend a lot of time together in drunkenness

JCCamp said...

Aside from the age issue (20 in 1973, working on a master's while a drug counselor in the school system?) which might just to be to shade her current age...you know, I find other parts of the story to be potentially suffering from a little poetic license, so to speak.
Unlikely: your roommate's live-in boyfriend is a drug dealer, with all that entails, the risk of cops or other dopers coming to call at all odd hours, or maybe customers stopping by but with no intention of paying. And your friend, the one with the junkie BF? So, even pre-HIV, all those diseases, plus the daily ritual of theft and fencing just to to get right?
If all that is true, the author shouldn't be bragging about it. But it's probably not. She just thinks it makes her...something, real maybe. I'd say stupid. If the entire essay is accurate, the only intelligent life-choice she's mentioned is letting the drunk rock star get kicked out.