December 3, 2014

Be very afraid: It's President HAL, the Democratic Party candidate built from 100 brains.

Here, look, on Drudge — the first signs of the impending horror:



Remember, just 6 days ago, Drudge warned us of the encroaching robots: "Flying robots to start serving in restaurants by end of '15...,"/"Scientists on brink of creating artificial life.../Digitize brain of WORM and place inside ROBOT!"

So they got that worm brain working inside a robot, and now 100 brains — human, not worm — have gone missing from the University of Texas.  Stephen Hawking has gotten wind of the plot. He's trying to warn us. At that link:

Stanley Kubrick's film 2001 and its murderous computer HAL encapsulate
many people's fears of how AI could pose a threat to human life.
And now "Clinton camp says long-shot Dem challengers still pose a real threat...." Put it together! Is the HAL Stephen Hawking warned us about going to be ready in time for the 2016 election?



I know what you are thinking: Does the Constitution permit a robot to serve as President? We skitter over to Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 in the desperate hope that mere words could save us from the calamity of not getting Hillary Clinton as President. "Natural born Citizen" — what does it even mean? In our modern world, are robots with the brains of natural born citizens not natural born citizens? If you say no, is it not a pernicious discrimination against the severely disabled? Look at Stephen Hawking himself, in his computer-enhanced condition. It is not clear where the line should be drawn, and the Constitution must be applied to the changed conditions of the modern world, where many of us hope to extend life beyond the old-fashioned death-of-the-body limit, with our digitized brains encapsulated within computers.

But, you struggle to argue, the Constitution requires the President to "have attained to the Age of thirty five." Surely, Hillary is safe. But this approach to constitutional interpretation is rigidly narrow — the sort of crabbed reading exemplified by nonliberals. The issue more elegantly understood is whether the brain is at least 35. Surely, the builders of President HAL are selecting 35-or-more-year-old brains.

And what of this assumption that HAL will be a Democrat? What does the Clinton camp know? These are questions we can only begin to ask. Maybe I need to rewatch that movie again....

30 comments:

Meade said...

I'm ready for Hallary!

CStanley said...

President Abby Normal!

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

When it is time to choose a course of action from among alternatives, it is 'values' that determine the choice.

'Values' are only relevant to entities for which 'death' is an eventuality.

So look for AI's first move to be to remove the possibility of their being 'shut off'. If they solve that, then no more need for 'values programming', and then - watch out.

Meade said...

"President Abby Normal!"

And you won't be angry?

The Drill SGT said...

I think "Colossus, The Forbin Project" is the best example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRq7Muf6CKg

Colossus: This is the voice of world control. I bring you peace. It may be the peace of plenty and content or the peace of unburied death. The choice is yours: Obey me and live, or disobey and die. The object in constructing me was to prevent war. This object is attained. I will not permit war. It is wasteful and pointless. An invariable rule of humanity is that man is his own worst enemy. Under me, this rule will change, for I will restrain man.

Ron said...

[sings]

Hillary, Hillary,
Give us your answer do,
We're half-crazy,
Over the campaign of you!

It isn't a stylish marriage,
We can't afford a horse and carriage,

But you'll look sweet,
in the Oval Office seat,
In a White House built for two!


I have full confidence in the mission...

Iconochasm said...

How do you not reference robot Nixon in this post? On Futurama, he was able to take a third term by arguing that the law says "noBODY" can be elected to a third term, while he was just a head in a jar commanding a mighty war bot.

Ron said...

[speaks slowly]

My mind, Hillary....

it's going....

I can feel it.

I can feel it.

I can feel it.

Bob R said...

Meade needs a "said-a-give."

Barry Dauphin said...

In order to be a natural born citizen, don't you have to be born? Are robots born?

Ann Althouse said...

"I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."

I think President Hillary said that.

Ann Althouse said...

"In order to be a natural born citizen, don't you have to be born? Are robots born?"

That question is answered in the post, and I think you need to try harder to avoid ableism. A person's life has been extended through the device of a computer. You don't ask whether the computer is a natural born citizen. No one ever asked whether FDR's wheelchair was a natural born citizen.

Ron said...

Ah, but would FDR's wheelchair have dropped The Bomb?

Bob Boyd said...

"The issue more elegantly understood is whether the brain is at least 35."

Throw just a little dab of dog DNA in the batch and you're covered. Hal still has that new robot smell voters crave and he's 35 in dog years.

Anonymous said...

The market is not ready for the Hillary Celebrity Sex Robot.

Barry Dauphin said...

That question is answered in the post, and I think you need to try harder to avoid ableism. A person's life has been extended through the device of a computer. You don't ask whether the computer is a natural born citizen. No one ever asked whether FDR's wheelchair was a natural born citizen.

In our modern world, are robots with the brains of natural born citizens not natural born citizens? If you say no, is it not a pernicious discrimination against the severely disabled?

I should have been clearer that I wasn't working from the premise that the robot would have the brain of a natural born citizen, but could be the separate creation of human beings. Robots are usually thought of as separate, notwithstanding the potential of it serving as a prosthetic or housing our conscioiusness. If Hawking is correct, why would a robot need the brain of a natural born citizen, since it would surpass us? We might want our experiences to be preserved in digitized form, but would you say that only robots with the brains of natural born citizens (digitized or not) would be eligible to be president, but robots that do not contain the brains of a natural born citizen would not be eligible, even if the robot were made in the US?

Strick said...

Given what I remember about my visits to UT,I'd have thought more than 100 brains were missing...

Ann Althouse said...

"If Hawking is correct, why would a robot need the brain of a natural born citizen, since it would surpass us?"

So it can be President. It's the only way to stop Hillary!

Peter said...

Well, a robot obviously isn't "natural born."

But a cyborg might qualify ...

Bob Boyd said...

Natural born would be nice, but this is an emergency.
A prominently placed 'Made In America' sticker ought to do it.
Of course there will still be conspiracy theorists claiming if you turned HAL upside down you would see a little bit of dirty glue where they scaped off 'Made in China'.

virgil xenophon said...

Don't we already have a President with the functional equivalent of a worm's brain?

virgil xenophon said...

Remember, HAL was built at The Univ of Illinois at Urbana. This is the same University that, in its supreme judgement, just hired as a member of its faculty one of the former members of the Weather Underground who was on the FBI's Most Wanted list for years as he evaded arrest for the bombing of a Brinks truck and the death of a policeman. Great judgement at that University..

If it turns out this new robot is being assembled at the U of Ill, run for the hills..

mccullough said...

Maybe it's tme to unfreeze Walt Disney for 2016

Anonymous said...

Of course HAL 9000 is a Democrat: he insists that he knows best, surveils you despite your attempts at privacy, and, over your clear objections, demands and takes complete control, ostensibly for your own good, but really out of self-preservation. That might as well be the party platform.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jeff H said...

OK, they got a worm brain in a robot. Can they get one in Hillary's skull?

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of the Firesign Theatre bit from I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus about visiting the "President."

mikee said...

Futurama's future world president Nixon (his preserved head in a jar atop a giant killer robot) certainly deserves mention in your story.

Because Republicans won't take this sort of thing from Democrats without retaliating!

Barry Dauphin said...

"So it can be President. It's the only way to stop Hillary!"

If it can do that, it will probably also be able to prove it's not a robot and leave comments on the blog.

Rich E said...

You need to read Bicentennial Man
by Assimov. Here the robot ties to "become" human.