Be very afraid: It's President HAL, the Democratic Party candidate built from 100 brains.

Here, look, on Drudge — the first signs of the impending horror:



Remember, just 6 days ago, Drudge warned us of the encroaching robots: "Flying robots to start serving in restaurants by end of '15...,"/"Scientists on brink of creating artificial life.../Digitize brain of WORM and place inside ROBOT!"

So they got that worm brain working inside a robot, and now 100 brains — human, not worm — have gone missing from the University of Texas.  Stephen Hawking has gotten wind of the plot. He's trying to warn us. At that link:

Stanley Kubrick's film 2001 and its murderous computer HAL encapsulate
many people's fears of how AI could pose a threat to human life.

And now "Clinton camp says long-shot Dem challengers still pose a real threat...." Put it together! Is the HAL Stephen Hawking warned us about going to be ready in time for the 2016 election?



I know what you are thinking: Does the Constitution permit a robot to serve as President? We skitter over to Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 in the desperate hope that mere words could save us from the calamity of not getting Hillary Clinton as President. "Natural born Citizen" — what does it even mean? In our modern world, are robots with the brains of natural born citizens not natural born citizens? If you say no, is it not a pernicious discrimination against the severely disabled? Look at Stephen Hawking himself, in his computer-enhanced condition. It is not clear where the line should be drawn, and the Constitution must be applied to the changed conditions of the modern world, where many of us hope to extend life beyond the old-fashioned death-of-the-body limit, with our digitized brains encapsulated within computers.

But, you struggle to argue, the Constitution requires the President to "have attained to the Age of thirty five." Surely, Hillary is safe. But this approach to constitutional interpretation is rigidly narrow — the sort of crabbed reading exemplified by nonliberals. The issue more elegantly understood is whether the brain is at least 35. Surely, the builders of President HAL are selecting 35-or-more-year-old brains.

And what of this assumption that HAL will be a Democrat? What does the Clinton camp know? These are questions we can only begin to ask. Maybe I need to rewatch that movie again....