Althouse: "For a Lasting Marriage, Marry Someone Your Own Age."

November 11, 2014

"For a Lasting Marriage, Marry Someone Your Own Age."

"Even a 5-year age difference makes a couple 18% more likely to get divorced, compared to a couple born on or around the same year."

35 comments:

rcocean said...: I'm still willing to marry a 18 y/o beauty if my current 20 y/o marriage doesn't work out.

Its a gamble - but I'm willing to take it.; 11/11/14, 7:22 PM
Anonymous said...: One of my co-workers once said he was taking his wife out to dinner to celebrate "Our birthday." I asked if he meant they had the same birthday. "Yes." Same year? "Yes." Same hospital? "No, the hospitals are about 10 miles apart."; 11/11/14, 7:45 PM
campy said...: One of my daughters is exactly a week older than her husband.; 11/11/14, 7:50 PM
Renee said...: Surprised with high rates of divorce with large age differences. I assume the older spouse would pass away, sooner then later, which would prevent less of an opportunity for divorce.; 11/11/14, 8:03 PM
madAsHell said...: My father was 7 years older than mom. He died a month before their 60th wedding anniversary. To this day, being robbed of a 60th wedding anniversary seems to be her only regret.; 11/11/14, 8:16 PM
Unknown said...: Not mentioned in the results was the age at which the the relationship began. Dr. Nancy Kalish has written plenty about her research, much of which is available online. The reason that I know about that research is because I recently reunited with my high school sweetheart after 32 years of separation, and we see no dark clouds on our horizon.; 11/11/14, 8:23 PM
William said...: It just seems that they last longer........Why judge the success of a marriage on the length of time it lasts? There must be more accurate metrics of success than endurance. For some, it's not a marathon event, but a successful dismount off the uneven parallel bars.; 11/11/14, 8:39 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: William said...

Why judge the success of a marriage on the length of time it lasts? There must be more accurate metrics of success than endurance. For some, it's not a marathon event, but a successful dismount off the uneven parallel bars.

A marriage that ends before someone dies is a failure. There are certainly other types of failed marriages, but if you're not in it until death do you part, then you failed.

If a lifetime commitment is not for you, then don't lie and claim you are getting married.; 11/11/14, 8:46 PM
glenn said...: Bites Moi.; 11/11/14, 9:13 PM
Seeing Red said...: I'm older. Death will do us part.; 11/11/14, 9:20 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: Marry a woman fifteen years older than those you have sex with.; 11/11/14, 9:42 PM
Patrick said...: 4.5 year difference. Whew!; 11/11/14, 9:49 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: Best advice I ever got was from my sophomore English High-School teacher: NEVER sleep with the smart ones.; 11/11/14, 9:57 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: The key is to always be looking for the Right One. When you find her -- HER, the Right One, the Most Special of All -- marry her mother until she comes of age.; 11/11/14, 10:05 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: The fifteen-year-old of today is the nineteen-year-old of two years from now. Love knows no Math.; 11/11/14, 10:07 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: When your girlfriend is seventeen-years-old you just need to be patient for a year and then find someone younger.; 11/11/14, 10:11 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: The good thing about older women: they don't turn thirty for over another decade.; 11/11/14, 10:12 PM
n.n said...: Tradition! Tradition. Perhaps our parents, grandparents, and ancestors experienced a life not unlike our own. Filled with youthful dreams and naivety, and mature pragmatism and wisdom.; 11/11/14, 10:14 PM
Laslo Spatula said...: What do you call a woman older than you whom you are still attracted to?

Mother.

Oedipus knew some things.; 11/11/14, 10:15 PM
Scott said...: I am 12 years older than my wife. Tomorrow we celebrate our 35th Anniversary.; 11/11/14, 10:28 PM
Lyle said...: ugh; 11/11/14, 11:24 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: She's written some other things encouraging greater sensitivity toward teenagers in love. Well-argued. Interesting. Maybe even helpful.; 11/11/14, 11:46 PM
Skeptical Voter said...: Well I married an older woman--about seven and a half months older than me, and we're still together after 49 years.; 11/12/14, 12:02 AM
Skeptical Voter said...: I do have to rise to Laslo Spatula's comment about NEVER sleep with the smart ones. In Laslo's case they may have been good advice. If you are dumb, you better stay away from smart women. And Laslo's wiseacre cracks make me doubt Laslo's mental acuity.

In my case as a bright--but snotty-- young man, I figured out that I would never be happy with a dumb wife. I dated some girls that were nice enough--but in my opinion just not bright enough to be a wife for me.

Toward the end of my undergraduate college days I met a woman whose intelligence I could and did respect--and married her just before the start of law school.

We've built a long and happy life together--and yes Laslo, after we got married, I was sleeping with one of the "smart ones".; 11/12/14, 12:14 AM
NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...: Large age differences usually mean a marriage based on looks and money.

It's not really age- it's marrying for the wrong reasons.

If your marriage has an age difference, but it wasn't about higher status or better looks, then it's not relevant.; 11/12/14, 1:37 AM
Anonymous said...: "A wife to help one remove a stick up one's ass is the best medicine," my momma used to say before grasping the rectal thermometer.; 11/12/14, 5:07 AM
Col Mustard said...: Marry someone of your own sex. CELEBRATE!!!

Marry someone of a different race. CELEBRATE!!!

Marry someone way younger than you. Call the cops!!!

Love of my life (30+ years) is 20+ years younger than me. Still as sweet as sweet can be.; 11/12/14, 7:21 AM
Henry said...: Jeez. We've covered this. Proxy factor.; 11/12/14, 7:38 AM
Dave Schumann said...: For Christ's sake, CORRELATION VS CAUSATION; 11/12/14, 8:48 AM
Peter said...: Wouldn't they do better to consider age difference relative to one's present age?

That is, difference between age 20 and age 28 surely is far larger than the difference between age 40 and age 48?; 11/12/14, 9:04 AM
Beldar said...: My ex is exactly 10 days older than I am. Apparently that didn't help.

Or maybe it was the fact that for the last 27 years I've teased her about the fact that we had our first son just after one of her birthdays, but before mine — such that ever after I've been able to point out (and indeed, have pointed out) that we had our first child when she was in her early 30s and I was in my late 20s.; 11/12/14, 10:00 AM
n.n said...: Dave Schumann:

It's statistics. It's risk management. It's Nature, before the normalization of womb banks, sperm depositors, exotic treatments, and premeditated abortion.; 11/12/14, 10:20 AM
Phaedrus said...: After being married almost 40 years to a woman with a birthday only 10 days later than mine I can tell you the key to a long marriage is actually to go dancing twice a week.

She goes on Tuesday and I go on Thursday.; 11/12/14, 11:28 AM
Anonymous said...: "a couple born on or around the same year" until the woman gets old and a younger version comes along.; 11/12/14, 12:03 PM
Unknown said...: Somewhere I read that a woman gets married when she meets the right man, and a man gets married when the time is right.; 11/13/14, 8:01 AM