October 10, 2014

You must answer this question immediately, in no more than one second.

You will have no time to ask why this is the situation or to get more information about the nature of the question, so don't click in until you are genuinely ready to use your one second to answer the question asked. Ready?

One word tattooed will be tattooed on your body: What is the word?

100 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kind of bizarre, but "Death" was the first word that came to mind.

LarsPorsena said...

Oh! Fuck! but that's two words.

John Burgess said...

None. I've thought this over before and there's no word that needs to be on my body permanently.

jille said...

Not a word, a number: 16770

Will Cate said...

"Tattoo"

Frank Gregoire said...

dreadnaught - it's already the one word

David Hampton said...

"HONOR"

MadisonMan said...

No.

traditionalguy said...

Cute post. What will mark you out forever? That's a work in progress.

Curious George said...

Corky

I was responding to a garage post just prior.

DanTheMan said...

My family name. Sort of a label, not a tattoo. :)

If I was going to get a tattoo, though, I'd get one of those "Nutritional Information" labels you see on the back of jars.
Not sure how many calories I am, but I think I can figure out how many grams of carbs...

kcom said...

I have no intention of ever getting a tattoo but the word that came to mind for me was "Peace". I might be slightly embarrassed - it sounds like a Miss America contestant.

MathMom said...

I agree with John Burgess.

But the first thing that came to my mind was لن استسلم , but even in Arabic, that is two words. Lan astaslem. I will not submit.

Ann Althouse said...

"None. I've thought this over before and there's no word that needs to be on my body permanently."

The question requires you to assume this is compulsory. You don't have the ability to say "no," other than to choose the word "no," like MadisonMan.

Maybe you've chosen the word "None" though. Your post is ambiguous.

furious_a said...

Wait, wha...D'OH!

Gahrie said...

rosebud

Ann Althouse said...

Well, I don't want a tattoo either, but the idea of the question came to me, and I thought of my word. I asked Meade the question, and he had the same word. (And I hadn't told him mine.)

MayBee said...

Love

Fernandinande said...

"Hello!"

Rob McLean said...

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

I've been obsessed with this word even since I discovered it as a little kid. (And, of course, it would annoy the tattoo artist no end...)

Anonymous said...

"Turtle," damn it.

Paddy O said...

hope

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't want "Death" as a tattoo, but it was the only word that came to mind in one second, like a psychological word association exercise.

Unknown said...

"like a psychological word association exercise" not sure why but help (small letters) pops into my mind.

Anglelyne said...

I don't understand the question.

Irene said...

Freedom

Birkel said...

'Free will' is two words and it allows me to avoid tattoos. The thing that separates each of us is will. Maybe if a gun were to my head and death was the only other option I would choose 'willfulness' just to be ironic. But taking this much time to think about my answer means I have ignored the explicit directions, exercising my free will.

Rick Lockridge said...

One word, really? Because "Never Submit" is really good...and the Arabic script is a nice ironic touch. Or the even more irony-tinged, longer version: "If you don't learn to tolerate us, we'll have to kill all of you." If I can't have those, I guess I'll go with: "Prevail."

Lauderdale Vet said...

No tattoos for me thanks, but to answer the question in the manner intended I'll choose my wife's name.

Fernandinande said...

Rob McLean said...
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
I've been obsessed with this word even since I discovered it as a little kid.


That was one of my dad's favorite words.

rhhardin said...

It's likely to be unfriendly. They'd be holding you down and are also picking the word.

Maybe it's court ordered.

"Bad attitude," most likely, as a sort of community service.

MadisonMan said...

See, if I have 'NO' tattooed on my hand, I can become a wordless bureaucrat. Someone comes up to me, I can show them the back of my hand when they ask the government's permission to do something. I'd just have to make sure I don't accidentally tell them 'ON'

Deirdre Mundy said...

No.


Or maybe NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hate needles, so that was my gut reaction. Though, on reflection, it would make parenting small kids easier.

'What does it say on Mommy's arm? So why are you still asking?'

Tank said...

Yes.

The group.

They have a great logo.

I might actually get that one.

Oso Negro said...

OMFG! It was "love"! I have gotten squishy in my old age.

Anonymous said...

I think the one-second rule is too harsh. I asked the question of a colleague, and the only thing out of his mouth in one second was the nonsensical utterance "Blowf".

Anonymous said...

Apparently, "blowf" does have a meaning!

From the Urban Dictionary:

The act of sterilizing an object by blowing on it.

The mother told the child, "It's still good. Just blowf it".

The boy picked up his candy from the floor, blowfed it, then ate it.

David said...

"Shit!" came to mind. I have no idea why.

carrie said...

be

ALP said...

Truth

Martin L. Shoemaker said...

I spent my one second puzzling over the poor wording of the question...

Lost My Cookies said...

Mine was O-

Levi Starks said...

Real

DrSquid said...

JesusHCristhowthefuckdidthishappen?!?

John said...

No!

As in no tattoos.

Ever.

There are a lot of good people who have tattoos but in general, my feeling is that good people don't have tattoos. Also, the more tattoos and the more visible they are, the less good they are in general.

Always happy to make an exception to that general rule and I make lots of them.

It's the way to bet, though.

John Henry

Ignorance is Bliss said...

a

I don't want a tattoo, so that is the shortest answer that qualifies. ( I would go with i, but to qualify it would probably need to be upper case. )

And I entirely failed on the one-second limit. If this had been for real, I probably would have ended up with Stay-Puft tattooed on me, or something like that.

mccullough said...

Ouch

TreeJoe said...

When I clicked "more" on the blog, it loaded the comments section first and I saw the 2nd comment "Oh! Fuck!"...then read the question, so the word "Fuck" was in my mind.

I'm pretty dissapointed in the setup of this exercise. It was like asking me not to think of elephants then showing me a picture of an elephant first.

John said...

The stupidest tattoo I think I have ever seen is the one that women put on their wrist saying

"Breathe"

If they are so stupid as to need a reminder to breathe, I want to stay as far away as possible from them.

Almost as stupid as random Chinese characters. Yes, I know that the tatooee thinks they are not random and that they mean something. Unless they read Chinese, they are effectively random. The tattooer can put anything there.

Here's a fun thing to do: When you see someone with a Chinese tattoo, snicker and say "You realize that that is the character for 'I am a douchebag', don't you?"

John Henry

readering said...

Mom. Because of watching cartoons like Popeye as a kid, that's what occurred to me in a second. But maybe I should have picked Mudder.

dbp said...

Because of the weird wording in the question,

"One word tattooed will be tattooed on your body: What is the word?"

I couldn't help but think "tattooed, tattooed, tattooed" and a couple of seconds passed and it was too late.

How about "This space left intentionally blank" ?

John said...

I was a Machinist Mate in the navy. This is a job classification and abbreviated MM.

Now this ain't no shit:

One of my shipmates was so proud of being a Machinist Mate that he had a big M tattooed on each butt cheek.

When he bent over, it spelled MoM.

John Henry

Smilin' Jack said...

One word tattooed will be tattooed on your body: What is the word?
'Tattooed,' obviously. Unless you fucked up the question.

John said...

Ann,

Re your comment, I know that the tattoo is mandatory. I assume that this means the government will do it as nobody else has that power.

If they are going to tattoo me against my will, I can't imagine that I will have any say in what the word will be.

But, if I do, I want it to be No! (does the punctuation count as part of the word? If not, then just NO)

And when anyone asks me about it, I will give them a lengthy diatribe about living in a slave state that will arbitrarily mark my body against my will.

I might even get quite vehement and tiresome about it.

What is all this blather you and others give us about how pro-choice you are? Oh, yeah. Only on abortion. Right?

My body, my right.

John Henry

Dude1394 said...

Yes

Michael said...

The word was "hope," but it took more than a second because of:

1) the need to overcome revulsion at the idea of being tattooed at all, and

2) the need to overcome the misappropriation of a perfectly good word by the Obama operation.

But to live is to hope, and I think I could tolerate "wearing" that.

Mark said...

Irene beat me to it.

"Freedom".

Although with more than a second to think about it, I decided "Revenge!" would be good too.

MadisonMan said...

O-

I'd do A+ if I went that route.

Calvinus said...

Blue . . . No. Yellowwwwwwwwwww!

policraticus said...

My first second thought was, LOVE.

I don't know why.

tim in vermont said...

A cross. I am an atheist, but we are in a fight, and sides are being forced on us.

CJinPA said...

"Hi"

Christy said...

Death. As in, compulsory tattoos would mean I'd take up arms against those who mandated the tattoos.

Hey, I know! The government can tattoo IDs across the foreheads of those without.

Balfegor said...

Was not possible for me to answer in one second, because my immediate reaction in that one second was "A tattoo?? Why on earth would I do THAT?"

On further reflection I suppose if I had to put a one word tattoo on my body, it would be something like 榮光 (glory), which is a word I am somewhat attached to, as the first character is my middle name.

William said...

When younger, I would have chosen MORE. Nowadays, I would choose "less". Who follows a single fixed star through their entire life? A tattoo is a permanent reminder of a transient mood.

Richard Lawrence Cohen said...

I also had the word "Death" come to me instantly, even though I wouldn't want it tattooed on me. But I guess that's my answer given the rules of the game.

Otherwise, I agree with Jille but I wouldn't care what number it was. Any five-digit number tattooed on my forearm. It's the only kind of tattoo my people are allowed to have.

Ann Althouse said...

"I also had the word "Death" come to me instantly, even though I wouldn't want it tattooed on me. But I guess that's my answer given the rules of the game."

It makes sense, especially if you've been reading this blog since the early days: "Tattoos remind you of death."

Ann Althouse said...

"It's the only kind of tattoo my people are allowed to have."

From "The Tattoo: Still Taboo?" in The Jewish Week:

"The myth about the cemetery (perhaps finally debunked by reports that Amy Winehouse was given a traditional Jewish funeral) is particularly instructive in this regard. Whether he invented it or merely popularized it, the earliest record in pop culture of this erroneous belief is a comedy routine by Lenny Bruce. As partially recounted in his 1965 autobiography, “How to Talk Dirty and Influence People,” the comic returned from the navy with a tattoo on his arm, whereupon a traditionally minded aunt informs him that he can never be buried in a Jewish cemetery. Bruce’s solution? Let them cut off the tattooed arm and bury it in a Catholic cemetery. Applying Bruce’s own famous “Jewish/goyish” dichotomy, it makes perfect sense why a goyish tattoo, obtained while serving in the goyish navy, would relegate someone to the goyish cemetery. Bruce’s grotesque solution externalizes his sense of belonging neither wholly in the Jewish nor wholly in the goyish cemetery."

David53 said...

Faith.

Not the greatest but the first.

Mark said...

On yet further reflection, "Resuscitate" in big bold letters across the chest might not be a bad idea...

Opinh Bombay said...

"Transparent" in transparent ink.

I had it done in one second too.

John Skaife said...

DOG.

Wilbur said...

The SS tattooed their members' blood type on them.

Tattoos are for human trash. Then and now. Or those dissatisfied with the beauty of their bodies.

Freeman Hunt said...

THINK

Freeman Hunt said...

I had that as my license plate when I was about twenty. It was good because if I made a driving mistake, it turned into a humorous experience and good story for the other person.

Freeman Hunt said...

Where are they putting the tattoo? If it's going to hurt, I want to choose "a" or "I."

Tank said...

Wilbur said...

The SS tattooed their members' blood type on them. Tattoos are for human trash.


Thanks for calling my girls trash. I, on the other hand, think they are wonderful.

Boy, stupidity comes in all types.

rcommal said...

Ask

Scott said...

Charlie

My first partner.

Henry said...

I thought of an anchor. Which is kind of ridiculous, since I am not a seafarer. But I did live in Rhode Island for many years.

I suppose this means I'd get the word "anchor" tattooed on my body. Or "symbol".

Bruce said...

My word was "Lover", which is how my wife and I address one another.

Even after many years, we've stuck with this nickname. We very rarely use our given names with one another, even in public. Some of her friends even call me "Lover" as that is all they have ever heard me called by her.

In my one second, I thought of the word as being her name... but I guess it works as a label for me, too.

chillblaine said...

"Consent?"

Took me longer than one second, though. My wife took all of one second to come up with, "Inspire."

madAsHell said...

When he bent over, it spelled MoM.

Hey, I've met that guy....and when he did somersaults it said:
WoW
MoM
WoW
MoM

Tom P said...

Tuxedo

Charles said...

Easy (though I need two words):

No MRI

(I have a metal implant that I'd rather not have forceably extracted through my flesh should I be incapacitated and unable to inform a ER physician about.)

Balfegor said...

Re: Wilbur:

The SS tattooed their members' blood type on them.

That actually sounds like a pretty good idea.

The Crack Emcee said...

JUSTICE

A to the C said...

"WILBURISADOUCHEBAG," in beautiful, flowing script lettering.

George said...

"Hope"

CStanley said...

'What does it say on Mommy's arm? So why are you still asking?'

LOL Dierdre. Or you could say, "Talk to the hand, and the hand will answer."

averagejoe said...

"Life" is the word that came to my mind. I kind of had to chuckle when I read the first comment to see t-man had chosen "Death"... I am kind of interested in what word Althouse and Meade both chose independently of each other. Was it a case of spouses so in tune with each other that they share a psychic connection? Or was it a simple case of dianetics, where a person is thinking of a plate of shrimp, and someone says "plate" or "shrimp" or "plate of shrimp"?

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
One Eye said...

Yes

Not the group

Eustace Chilke said...

Blood. The only thing worth picking up a gun over to shed someone else's in defense of yours.

DavidD said...

"Watch."--on my left wrist.

If I got two words, the second would be "Ring."--on the ring finger of my left hand

Charlie Martin said...



I don't like tattoos and you didn't say "in English".

Jupiter said...

One.

That was the only word I could think of in one second.

Which is why I don't like situations requiring quick decisions.

smash.em.up.Bro said...

Sex

Freeman Hunt said...

What was the Althouse/Meade answer? "Dylan?"

Ann Althouse said...

The Meade/Althouse word was: Love.