August 17, 2014

California lady comes to Madison, Wisconsin and gets kicked in the face by a giraffe.

Stay home, coastal people. It's just too dangerous up here in the hinterlands.

41 comments:

traditionalguy said...

Just wait until everything freezes over. The Californians will all be gone, gone for Hollywood everyone.

chickelit said...

An aunt was visiting us one day when I was a kid, back in the 1960's. My parents took her to the Henry Vilas Zoo. From the Wisconsin hinterlands, she was dressed in her Sunday finest -- a new dress. In the Cat House* at the zoo, she took a direct spray of projectile urine from a female lioness or tigress. Those Madison felines were tough -- especially when caged.
______________
*snicker, snicker

YoungHegelian said...

The woman's lucky they didn't find her head at the other end of the zoo.

A giraffe has no other means of defense against animals on the ground other than its hooves. When they kick, they mean bone-crushing business.

William said...

Giraffes make very poor pets.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

The headline writer had to have fun with the "icked, kicked, ticketed" line!
Giraffes are bigger and quieter than you think. Plus purple tongues!

Rae said...

So, really, what the hell was this woman thinking? Is she mentally ill?

SteveR said...

I was surprised to see that Madison has a zoo.

madAsHell said...

Hall told officers she climbed into the exhibit area because she loves giraffes.....and isn't very bright.


surfed said...

Same problem here but in reverse. Hinterlanders, or as Phil Edwards would say - "the lgion of the unjazzed", come here and think the ocean is a lake. No tides or rip currents to worry about. I've saved an easy dozen inlanders from drowning, being blown out to sea, etc., in my life. My brother Andy, an American Volunteer Red Cross Life Saving Corp member has saved hundreds. I'm suggesting inlanders don't come to the Florida - not because it's too dangerous but simply because you're inlanders. As the Surf Punks once famously sang - "My Beach, My Waves, Go Home..." Just kidding. Sorta'.

traditionalguy said...

Giraffe love. Their graceful necks and coy smiles are irresistible.

lemondog said...

Was it something I said....my perfume....?

Read that Wally's foot is about 12 inches across.......ouch!

lemondog said...

Does her assault come under the definition of rape?

jacksonjay said...

I was surprised to see that Madison has a zoo.

You missed all of the commotion a couple of years back? Ann and Meade crawled into the exhibit down at the Capitol. Very well reported at this very site.

jacksonjay said...

Luckily our gracious hosts were not "licked, kicked or ticketed"!

Vittorio Jano IV said...

Twenty years ago this week, a circus came to Honolulu with an African elephant, Tyke, who killed her "trainer" in front of the audience before she escaped the venue and was shot to death in the street.
Disturbing video with deep-voiced narrator who seems to blame Tyke:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym7MS4I7znQ

SteveR said...

Very well reported at this very site.

That was a circus

James Pawlak said...

Being "Dumb Ass Stupid" is dangerous everywhere.

California will NOT "freeze over", it will drift to where it belongs in downtown Siberia.

Madison is a zoo, full of weird, if not wonderful, animals; But, few sentient beings.

Ann Althouse said...

"I was surprised to see that Madison has a zoo."

We have a beautiful zoo, right by Lake Wingra (where we paddleboard and, in winter, ice skate).

The zoo is free too.

Rusty said...


"California lady comes to Madison, Wisconsin and gets kicked in the face by a giraffe."

It left a dull impression on her mind.

jacksonjay said...

The zoo is free too.

Really?

jacksonjay said...

Oh yeah, I forgot. The pensions and the health insurance used to free. Now they're not.

rhhardin said...

I beg you children, do not laugh
when you survey the tall giraffe.
It's hardly sporting to attack
a beast that cannot answer back.
You and I have shorter necks
and we can chant of gin and sex.
He has a trumpet for a throat
and cannot blow a single note!
It isn’t that his voice he hoards;
He hasn’t any vocal chords.
I wish for him, and for his wife,
A voluble girafter life.

Ogden Nash

Big Mike said...

Hall told officers she climbed into the exhibit area because she loves giraffes.

But do giraffes love her? I think not!

richard mcenroe said...

Lemon dog, per Whoopi it wasn't a kick-kick...

SteveR said...

The zoo is free too.

I guess that makes up for the idea that zoos are "really bad" for animals, at least according to PETA, and no liberal haven would want to associate themselves with cruelty to animals. I suppose that determination depends on whose ox is being gored, so to speak.

David said...

Lucky the giraffe was not carrying a gun. She would have been shot.

David said...

SteveR said...
I was surprised to see that Madison has a zoo.


Me too. Seems redundant.

The Godfather said...

Hall told officers she climbed into the exhibit area because she loves giraffes.

"Kick me again, big fella. I love it, you beast."

campy said...

Further evidence of Scott Walker's #WarOnWomen.

Tom Gallagher said...

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all...bamm!

Emil Blatz said...

Crazier than a shithouse rat!

Bobber Fleck said...

Clearly, we need to mandate that zoo visitors wear helmets. If even one Californian is saved it will be worth it.

Titus said...

As far as "lakes" go Lake Wingra is pretty pathetic. The "beach" is hideous. Go coastal Althouse....you won't look back. The ocean is so fab. We spent the weekend in Truro and it was totally relish.

tits.

Skeptical Voter said...

Some years back a friend and I were driving through the New Forest in Hampshire England. This was the sporting and hunting ground of English kings. The New Forest is also famous for its ponies. Two lane roads pass through the New Forest. Signs admonish visitors to stay in their cars and leave the ponies alone.

Some people can't read signs apparently. One woman stopped her car--in the middle of the road--and got out to feed the ponies or something. Now it's a two lane road; there were no shoulders, and with oncoming traffic you couldn't pull around the lady. My friend and I were stuck--about 8 cars behind the lady, and probably in front of an additional twenty cars also held up by this bimbo.

Well she finally stopped petting the ponies or feeding them or whatever the heck she was doing with them. She turned around and walked back to her car. There is a God and Karma is truly a beyotch. Just as she reached her car and started to pull the door open a New Forest pony proceeded to rear up on its front legs and gave her a two hoofed kick in the backside. Doggone near drove her through the side of her car.

All I could think of (in between laughing my head off) was that "justice was served".

Jeff Hall said...

'Tain't no laws of gods nor giraffes, north of the 43.

dandean said...

"California lady comes to Madison, Wisconsin and gets kicked in the face by a giraffe."

Totally hilarious and seemingly random headline!

lgv said...

You should not enter zoo exhibits like you should not get out of your sprint car during a race.

Tibore said...

What the hell was she doing climbing into it's pen? Giraffes survive in a wilderness with lions, so any thought that they're safe creatures to be around would get disabued with the very first kick they take to defend themselves.

Just because a creature is 1. A herbivore, 2. pretty, and 3. Not aggressive doesn't mean it can't pack a wallop when it wants.

Tibore said...

LOL! From KTLA.com:

"... the 12-foot-tall giraffe, a 2-year-old named Wally, licked her, police said. So far, so good. But then Wally turned his back and kicked her in the face, police said."

Heh... I'm guessing Wally thought she didn't taste so good.

Larry J said...

I've often said that stupidity should be painful. In her case, it was. Perhaps she'll be less likely to do something that stupid again. However, it wouldn't surprise me if she tries to sue the zoo for some stupid reason. No one, especially no woman, can be at fault for her own stupidity. There must be a man to blame somewhere.

Just Mike said...

A pity that our California Giraffes are forced to go without faces to kick. The legislature and Jerry Brown will get right on it I'm sure. It wouldn't be the dumbest thing they've done.

http://www.ego-vero.net/main/?p=431

http://www.ego-vero.net/main/?p=1072