July 13, 2014

I believe I have discovered the product on Amazon with the longest name.

"8 to 30 Virgin Brazilian Body Wave Hair From $46 Brazilian Hair Weave No Tangle No Shed 5a Remy Cuticle Dream Hair USA This Is the Best Hair You Can Get for Your Money Do Not Accept Prices That Are Too Good to Be True Real 100% Human Hair Weave By Industry Leader Dream Hair USA One Donor Hair with All Cuticles Aligned Facing the Same Direction Like a Natural Head of Hair Eliminating Tangling During Washing and Combing Professionally Machine Sewn Wefts Eliminate Shedding This Is Salon Grade Hair Our Clients Love We Refuse to Sell Anything Less Many Sellers Claim to Have 5a Remy When in Reality It Is 3a Non Remy That Is Why They Have Bad Reviews and a Lot of Tangling and Shedding Your Search for an Honest Reliable Top Quality Remy Hair Specialist Is Over! We Are Located in Atlanta Georgia USA We Will Never Sacrifice Our Reputation As Virgin Hair Experts We Are a Real Company and Providing You with the Best Hair At the Best Price Is Our Mission Do Not Settle for Less! #1b Natural Black."

That looks like the way our beloved commenter betamax3000 used to write before I begged him to give up using all those capital letters.

11 comments:

St. George said...

!

EDH said...

I'm so glad that deposed Nigerian prince found gainful employment elsewhere as a copywriter.

madAsHell said...

This is Betamax's day job.

The Crack Emcee said...

I could tattoo that on my prick and still have room left over for the words "BIG SALE!"

Of course, you'd hear the screams all the way over there in Madison, but still, I could do it.

I'd be a fucking dick calligrapher,...

Anonymous said...

Crazy Street Corner Guy Off His Meds Says:

Harvey Keitel does not believe in capitalizing any letters otHer tHan H or K. He is tHe center of tHe world around Him, and wHen you can puncH tHrough bricK walls you can pretty mucH Have your way. BricK walls maKe Harvey angry; He told me a bricK wall once fell on Him in OKlaHoma and it tooK tHree days for Him to dig Himself out of the blacKness and rubble. During tHose tHree days Harvey Had a vision of a blacK bird tHat wHispered darK secrets to Him: He will not tell me tHose secrets, and I am good not Knowing.

roadgeek said...

I note with keen interest and admiration that Althouse, never missing a trick, has coded the link to that page so that she gets a cut if one of her readers purchases some of this fine 5A Remy.

And I never knew hair extensions had grades. And who is Remy?

Anonymous said...

I don't miss the Title Case. Thanks to AA.

(it's nice to be beloved).

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Wait, Freeman and beta aren't really the same person with different "handles?"

But their writing is identical.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

There is more variance within my writing, or my f);$;(/(;& writing as you like, than between Freeman and beta, hence I declaim Angus Poop.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Proclaim. Declaim

Declare. Proclare.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Exacerbate the species.