Althouse: "The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s 'Girls,' light-rail, Beyonce, and Hillary Clinton."

June 25, 2014

"The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s 'Girls,' light-rail, Beyonce, and Hillary Clinton."

"The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is 'catching on' is exceeded only by the ones pretending women’s basketball is fascinating. I note that we don’t have to be endlessly told how exciting football is."

Says Ann Coulter, in my favorite of her 9 objections to soccer.

AND: By "football," she means football.

58 comments:

The Crack Emcee said...: All true, I'm afraid.

I'm not going to look at the other eight, for fear of ruining the effect,..; 6/25/14, 8:32 PM
Heyooyeh said...: Althouse can't stand liberals. But Ann Coulter...that's someone she can get behind!; 6/25/14, 8:42 PM
Ron said...: Watching someone paint a kitchen would be more exciting than watching soccer.; 6/25/14, 8:43 PM
traditionalguy said...: Soccer is fun enough to play. It's the fans that ruin it. After an hour+ of useless back and forth struggle that defenders win every time, one shot finally gets by and then there is an insane peasant's riot.

But the 5'8'' 140 lbs men in shorts do have a great center of gravity advantage and they become the best players. They can turn,dash ahead dribbling and leave their defender in the dust... until the damn Goalie takes it away.

The Goalies of course being the only tall, long armed men on the team get the glory far too often.; 6/25/14, 8:48 PM
Brando said...: She's right that if something needs to be constantly "pushed" then maybe it's just not that appealing in the first place. Let it sell itself!; 6/25/14, 9:01 PM
Mark said...: I used to travel internationally a lot, and I told co-workers that I loved soccer because there was always a match on, and no matter how screwed up my circadians might be it always helped me get to sleep.; 6/25/14, 9:13 PM
sean said...: I'll bet Prof. Althouse's lawprof colleagues are maundering heavily about the World Cup. Meanwhile, there probably isn't a practicing lawyer in Wisconsin who cares.; 6/25/14, 9:14 PM
MayBee said...: The World Cup really is fun to watch, though.; 6/25/14, 9:21 PM
jacksonjay said...: We fear what we don't know! I love Coulter and Althouse, but both are ignorant about soccer. It really is OK, I just don't understand the need to prove how stupid you think it is! Why not let people who know a little something about soccer enjoy it and keep your ignorance to yourselves?

1. Anyone who has watched soccer knows about individual heroics. Amazing shots on goal, passes and stops by goaltenders.

2. My daughter never played with boys and ALWAYS kept score!

3. Never watched a soccer game as boring as a 0-0 "pitcher's duel"!

4. Plenty of chances for humiliation in soccer! Best example: own goal! Plenty of serious injuries in soccer. I would wager that there are more concussion in soccer than football!

5. So, a game where the player can't use their best appendages is stupid? Maybe that makes soccer more challenging! Players catch the ball with their feet and head and goalies catch fly balls all the time.

6.This is rich! Ann Coulter force fed by the NYT? Ann Althouse force fed by anyone? You really don't mean to embrace this point, do you? Coulter is right about women's basketball!

Here's any idea. If you don't like it, don't watch it!

7. DeMarcus Beasley and Jozy Altidore! Lots of NFL players will be tweeting tomorrow during the game! I heard an interview of Ndamukong Suh (a good football player) a few years ago. He gave soccer credit for his speed and agility. Get a freaking clue! Did you see Evander Holyfield's tweet about the Suarez biting incident? No, of course not!

8. The U.S. military uses the metric system! Geez!

9. Me thinks soccer ignoramuses doth protest too much! Again, don't watch the game tomorrow!

I am fifth generation Texan and will be watching the game tomorrow! Some of us are open to new things. I had to learn about soccer! Our best player, Clint Dempsey is an East Texas trailer kid (won't call him trash). I can't believe that Althouse would embrace this Coulter ignorance!; 6/25/14, 9:21 PM
Mark said...: Also, if one understands that the function Futbol fills in the rest of the world is to let buds get together to drink large quantities of alcohol, then the fact that the game itself can be safely ignored for 99% of the time means more attention can be spent on getting hammered loudly and obnoxiously.; 6/25/14, 9:21 PM
traditionalguy said...: It may be a feminist thing.

Coulter is the Trial Lawyer of the Conservative Opinion page. She pithily tells it like it is and pulls no punches.

So Coulter proves that women are as intelligent at insulting fighting matches as men are.; 6/25/14, 9:22 PM
The Godfather said...: I agree with all Coulter's political and social snark, but with respect to the actual sport of soccer:

1. Soccer doesn't lack opportunities for personal glory any more than most team sports. True that there's more show-boating in basketball than in soccer. I'm not sure that's a plus for basketball.

3. Too many scoreless games? I suppose Coulter has never sat on the edge of her seat watching a pitchers' duel - 0:0 in the bottom of the 13th . . . . Yawn?

4. Not enough injury or humiliation in soccer? True. If you want injury, NASCAR's for you, not soccer. People DIE in NASCAR!

5. In soccer you can't use your hands. That's a feature not a bug! You have to use your feet and head for things that 3 million years of evolution have taught you to do with your hands. That is where the challenge is.

I've never played soccer. At prep school I played football, for which I was always too untalented and slow, and for which I became progressively too small as my classmates grew bigger than I -- if I'd taken soccer instead, I would only have been untalented and slow. But my eldest granddaughter (almost 11) is becoming quite the soccer player. So if Ms. Coulter objects to that, I'll arm wrestle her, best two out of three . . . or three out of five . . . or (has anyone seen Coulter's biceps lately?); 6/25/14, 9:27 PM
jacksonjay said...: She's right that if something needs to be constantly "pushed" then maybe it's just not that appealing in the first place.

No one pushes their agenda harder than Coulter!; 6/25/14, 9:37 PM
Dave said...: At this point in the US, in my opinion, the belief that soccer sucks/is un-American/will never catch on is being "pushed" more than soccer itself is being "pushed".

The popularity of soccer--again, in my opinion--seems to be growing organically.; 6/25/14, 9:42 PM
William said...: One of the game's star players occasionally bites his opponents. That's kind of exciting, but he goes for the shoulder which is kind of wimpy. He should go for the full Tyson and aim for the ear. Soccer would gain popularity with Americans if the players occasionally bit off each other's nose and ears.; 6/25/14, 9:59 PM
ALP said...: Ms. Coulter had me until she started hating on the metric system.

We need to get rid of the clumsy Imperial system, it sucks. METRIC NOW!; 6/25/14, 10:07 PM
sane_voter said...: Its amazing how they force hundreds of thousands of people into places like Grant Park to watch such a boring game. Any the free beer and food that bars and restaurants across country are using to get people to come and pretend to watch the games. Crazy stuff. Ann C and Ann A. better investigate and uncover the conspiracy.; 6/25/14, 10:12 PM
B said...: I like light rail infinitely more than high speed rail.; 6/25/14, 10:21 PM
Guildofcannonballs said...: If we measure pushing agendas by exclamation points used jacksonjay wins hands down!; 6/25/14, 10:24 PM
conservative soccer player said...: Terrible article about soccer. I am conservative and played soccer in college. Dont understand why some conservatives think they have to bash soccer. Is it because they think that makes them more American ?

Oh does Ann know General Patraeus played soccer in college. Im sure there are thousands of other milatary men and women who play soccer. Good job Ann, whats the point?; 6/25/14, 10:39 PM
Revenant said...: Well, I couldn't have less interest in watching "Girls"... or football.

Soccer, though, is entertaining.; 6/25/14, 10:48 PM
Jaq said...: "Althouse can't stand liberals." Heyooyeh?

First they came for George Will, now they come for Althouse.

Do you have a quote for that statement? Or is this just more "truthiness"?; 6/25/14, 11:01 PM
Michael K said...: Ann Coulter is a national treasure. Some day we will have to take her advice on how to solve the War on Terror. Invade and convert them all to Christianity. The remaining ones alive, that is.; 6/25/14, 11:33 PM
Amexpat said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 6/25/14, 11:34 PM
Michael K said...: "The popularity of soccer--again, in my opinion--seems to be growing organically."

Yes, Whole Foods is the center of the sport.; 6/25/14, 11:35 PM
Anonymous said...: The people / class that push/es it have kids that play it, that's why, including daughters. They may or may not follow other major American team sports, but their kids likely don't have a shot in hell at getting a football scholarship. They may have a shot at soccer. They're invested.; 6/25/14, 11:54 PM
Smilin' Jack said...: Watching someone paint a kitchen would be more exciting than watching soccer.

Watching my kitchen not being painted is more exciting than watching soccer.

I am fifth generation Texan and will be watching the game tomorrow!

Proving that Santa Ana was right! Texas should be part of Mexico!

Not enough injury or humiliation in soccer? True. If you want injury, NASCAR's for you, not soccer.

But if you want people faking injury, soccer is definitely your game.; 6/26/14, 12:16 AM
mccullough said...: How is the popularity of soccer in the non European parts of the world not a testament to colonialism?

Diego Maradona is 5'5" and is considered by many to be the best soccer player ever. Messi from Argentina is about the same height as Maradona and is one of the top players in the world.

It's fun to watch, but is nowhere near the athletic display of LeBron or Calvin Johnson.; 6/26/14, 12:28 AM
mccullough said...: Maradona hit in a famous hand shot in the 1986 World Cup. That was a great goal. They should let these guys use their hands all the time. It's more exciting.; 6/26/14, 12:30 AM
Bob Loblaw said...: Why not let people who know a little something about soccer enjoy it and keep your ignorance to yourselves?

Sure, that's fine, but it's not her point. We'd be perfectly willing to keep our ignorance to ourselves if soccer fans would stop trying to throw the game in our faces.

We get it. Much of the world likes soccer. We don't, and we're not interested in changing.; 6/26/14, 1:35 AM
Gary Rosen said...: "The popularity of soccer--again, in my opinion--seems to be growing organically"

I agree, it's overhyped like organic food.; 6/26/14, 3:05 AM
BarrySanders20 said...: Coulter is right on the point that telling others what they should like is off-putting. The rest is deep ignorance.

Tens of thousands of kids play soccer in Wisconsin alone. I am on the board of a club in Milwaykee that has over 6000 youth players. That's one club. The number of kids playing soccer in Wisconsin -- about 50,000 -- dwarfs that of football and baseball combined, and not only because girls have their own leagues. It is rare for girls to play on boys teams at anything other than the most basic level. None of these kids or the parents need to be told that soccer us catching on.
It is also a sport that you can actually enjoy for a lifetime because you do not destroy your body. How many former high school football or baseball players still suit up at age 40 and actually compete? There are plenty of competitive men's soccer leagues around.

So it's hard to score. Figure out how to win and go do it. What's more American than that? If goals counted 6 points and you got another three for kicking the ball over the goal, we'd have 35-31 scores.

I challenge Althouse and Meade to expand their minds and watch USA vs Germany today at 11 am at Hawks Pub or State Street Brats. Experience the game with fans. Get there early to get a seat. You'll find lots if bloggable topics. You might not change your minds, but you might enjoy seeing for yourself what the World Cup is all about.; 6/26/14, 4:23 AM
Robert Cook said...: "I note that we don’t have to be endlessly told how exciting football is."

Is it? To my mind, there are few things more tedious or dull, more excruciating, than having to sit through any duration of football, be it a few minutes, a quarter, or, god forbid, an entire game. Baseball exceeds football in dreary non-excitement, but either is torture to endure.; 6/26/14, 4:51 AM
Humperdink said...: "She's right that if something needs to be constantly "pushed" then maybe it's just not that appealing in the first place."

Did someone say Obamacare?; 6/26/14, 5:34 AM
ganderson said...: To quote Jim Rome, jock sniffer extraordinaire, "Soccer- the sport of the future; and always will be". A couple things present themselves- Interestingly and perhaps ironically soccer is not the most popular sport in any of England's white dominions (including the USA.) And the English invented the sport! A 0-0 tie in baseball can be boring- however it can be exciting too- Game 7 of the '91 World Series. I'm a hockey guy, and I know hockey's low scoring, and in my opinion could benefit from more goals, but in hockey there are 20-30 opportunities to score in a game. In soccer goals are almost never scored by a team bringing the ball up, running a play, and putting the ball in the net. Add to that certain other facts about modern soccer- only one ref? No clock? What is it
1890? I'll be watching today- 2 of my 3 sons (lacrosse players) seem to enjoy it so I'll relish the dad 'n' lad time, if I can stay awake!; 6/26/14, 6:06 AM
Curious George said...: Proof of how dumb soccer is? They often finish games not by playing soccer, but by "penalty kicks" that are almost always successful, so the game is generally determined by someone fucking up.

This would be like the NBA final being tied, so they have a free throw contest to determine the winner.

No major sport does this to determine a champion.

Football is played until someone scores.

Baseball is played until someone scores.

Basketball is played until someone is ahead after an OT period.

Hockey is closest, they also have a shootout, however this is very akin to playing hockey, it's a breakaway. Success is varied 25% to 75% for shooter and goalie...skill is brought into it much more than soccer.

That said, hickey recognizes that the shootout is for giving fans a win or loss in a reasonable amount of time, and also not extending games too long..so both teams earn the "Tie Point", the shootout winner getting an extra point in the standings.

And hockey shitcans the shootout in the Stanley Cup. You play until someone wins.

Hockey, although not the highest scoring game, is much higher scoring than soccer. It also much faster than soccer, so much faster that players are on the "field" only for one minute or so before they are relieved by another...without stopping play.

There are also an abundance of great plays that stop scoring by the goalie...amazing exciting.

Bottom line, soccer sucks.; 6/26/14, 6:56 AM
Monkeyboy said...: Soccer is OK to play but boring to watch. The Rugby World Cup is way better and even the Cricket Finals were facinationg in a weird way. I think the desire to get us into soccer fandom is a desire to be more like sophhisticated Europe even though soccer fandom is the least sophisticated part of it. (No one throws banannas at black US footbal players.)
My daughter plays lacrosse as well, now there is a purely American sport.; 6/26/14, 7:04 AM
John henry said...: Irs head Kiskanen used to be president of us soccer.

Do we need to know more?

John henry; 6/26/14, 7:05 AM
Curious George said...: I will also add that much of the viewership in the past was love of country, not love of the sport. Same reason people watch the Olympics...how many of you watch skiing or figure skating or track otherwise?

Recent increased viewership is that same love of country as we get marginally better at soccer with the men, and of course illegals watching soccer. Hell, there was a US v Mexico soccer game in Chciago...the US was the "away team". You would have thought the fucking game was in Mexico City.; 6/26/14, 7:10 AM
Anonymous said...: I was always a baseball guy. soccer to me still reminds me of that weird subculture in High School of uppity, wealthy, white kids who thought they were better than everyone else.

Like being able to bounce the damn ball on your knee is a miraculous achievement or something. Hit a 95 mph fastball or a wicked breaking ball, do that and then I'll be impressed.; 6/26/14, 7:32 AM
Larry J said...: jacksonjay said...
She's right that if something needs to be constantly "pushed" then maybe it's just not that appealing in the first place.

No one pushes their agenda harder than Coulter!

And no one pushed the idea of Obama's intelligence more than the Democrats and the Press (but I repeat myself). Face it, the man just isn't very bright. In fact, he shows no sign of intelligence at all, much less wisdom.; 6/26/14, 7:45 AM
Big Mike said...: I think part of the problem is that there's too much to learn before you can appreciate soccer. I thought of it the way Coulter did until my son made a travel soccer squad back in middle school days. Then I learned about the offsides rule, and Conte turns, and how to appreciate a good through ball.

You don't need to know nearly as much about basketball to appreciate a slam dunk, or much about baseball to appreciate a home run. And you certainly don't need to know what "cover 2" is all about to appreciate a long pass for a touchdown. But if you grew up with soccer then you can appreciate the subtle features of the game.

And Robert Cook would be happier living in Albania.; 6/26/14, 8:01 AM
Big Mike said...: @ALP, I'm with you, friend. My weight sounds much better in kilograms than pounds.; 6/26/14, 8:03 AM
jacksonjay said...: They may or may not follow other major American team sports, but their kids likely don't have a shot in hell at getting a football scholarship.

My daughter dropped soccer and got the scholarship in volleyball. Soccer made her an athlete.

It's fun to watch, but is nowhere near the athletic display of LeBron or Calvin Johnson.

Quick, better musician, Yo-Yo Ma or Eric Clapton?; 6/26/14, 8:04 AM
kjbe said...: Any "pushing" is in your imagination. Change the channel, already.; 6/26/14, 8:10 AM
Phil 314 said...: Like matter and anti-matter,

so are Ann Coulter and Bill Maher.

Both are noise machines.; 6/26/14, 8:13 AM
Original Mike said...: George Will on football:

"Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings."; 6/26/14, 8:18 AM
J Lee said...: One of the problems with soccer as it goes with the American sports fan is the time out, combined with what fans tend to do during the time-outs, which is try to guess the next play or analyze/second-guess the last one.

Some sports nowadays go overboard with their time-outs -- The NFL's touchdown-commercial-kickoff-commercial routine being the most obvious excess -- but a large part of being a spectator in U.S. sports is to use the time-outs to pretend you're the coach, and say what your team should do on the next play, or critique whatever went on during the last play. Soccer doesn't give that to you, other than right after a goal is scored, an injury occurs or at halftime. It demands your attention and limits what's essentially audience participation during the breaks.

It may sound like a minor thing, but the breaks do open up football, baseball, basketball and even hockey to in-game discussion by even casual fans in a way soccer does not, which means something in today's TV-driven sports world, where once the nationalism of the World Cup is over, U.S. soccer has to get fans interested in their watching and attending games of their local teams.; 6/26/14, 8:28 AM
Curious George said...: The base thing about soccer are the fans!; 6/26/14, 8:35 AM
Pianoman said...: I don't get the hatred of the metric system. We use it in U.S. for some things -- 2 liter bottles, for instance. And we like the 100-meter dash in the Olympics. Fat is measured in grams.

The reality is that America used the parts of the metric system that were practical, and just ignored the rest. Sort of like we do with everything in our culture.

It's ironic that the Brits don't use the metric system for everything. When you order a beer in a pub, in comes in a pint glass ...; 6/26/14, 8:56 AM
Delayna said...: Ganderson, the '91 World Series was the largest cardiac stress test in U.S. history. I'm only still alive because I passed it.; 6/26/14, 9:44 AM
MadisonMan said...: I challenge Althouse and Meade to expand their minds and watch USA vs Germany today at 11 am at Hawks Pub or State Street Brats.

Oh yeah. Go somewhere where there are lots of screaming people, some of whom should have bathed today, and pay for overpriced drinks. That's a selling point.; 6/26/14, 10:23 AM
Douglas B. Levene said...: Soccer, yawn. There's no reason to ever watch a soccer game unless your kid is playing in it.; 6/26/14, 10:47 AM
Steven said...: Soccer is by hooligans for hooligans. Just look at Suarez.; 6/26/14, 11:01 AM
eddie willers said...: is try to guess the next play or analyze/second-guess the last one.

That (and the opposable thumb) are the salient arguments.

Once a soccer game begins, no brains are required.

It truly is a child's game.; 6/26/14, 11:33 AM
Fernandinande said...: BarrySanders20 said...
Tens of thousands of kids play soccer in Wisconsin alone.

I thought they needed to be on teams with other kids ...?; 6/26/14, 12:01 PM
Original Mike said...: We Lost!!!; 6/26/14, 4:18 PM
richardsson said...: I played it in the ninth grade, and not being very fast on my feet, I didn't like it very much. Other than that, I think Ann Coulter exaggerates how exciting it is to watch. ;-) I once watched an Olympic Games match and soon it was zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. My advice: turn off the sound, you'll sleep better.; 6/26/14, 6:38 PM