February 8, 2014

"When somebody says, 'You should do something'..."

"... the subtext is: 'You're an idiot for not already doing it.' Nobody takes advice under those conditions."

16 comments:

wildswan said...

I accepted the advice that I should change the way I ate and combined that with information culled from Instapundit to devise my special diet founded on red wine, dark chocolate, coffee, and bacon combined with strawberries, pomegranates, blueberries. I have advised my advisors to follow this diet which anyone can keep up but no one listens.

KLDAVIS said...

When somebody says something is "interesting," run far, far away.

Cliff said...

Sometimes I say to people that they should just shut up already and the subtext is definitely that I think they are an idiot for not already doing so.

FullMoon said...


Blogger KLDAVIS said...

When somebody says something is "interesting," run far, far away.

When Ann Althosts posts something, the subtext is "This is interesting"

m stone said...

The U.S. is addicted to advice.

Baloney.

Americans I know go it alone for the most part and the self-assured rarely solicit advice.

That's not to say people don't offer it, but from my experience and observations both in life and academia, it won't stick to the point of doing the opposite to prove the advisor wrong.

Oddly, people still are shown to vote based on a person of influence's leading (parent, respected elder...). But rarely will the person acknowledge the leading. Americans are full of pride.

btw, "learning" from Instapundit or even Althouse is not the same as taking advice.

Sam L. said...

Or, they are just blowhards. Queenan certainly is, far as I can tell. Din't he useta write for the NYT? Or NEW YORKER, or something in that know-it-all town?

madAsHell said...

...open your wallet.

Mine will stay in my pocket.

Humperdink said...

When asked for a forecast or prediction:

"Give them a number or give them a date, never give them both".

Carl Pham said...

Geez, what a dull article. What kind of hold your breath until you turn blue kind of intransigent idiot never takes advice? Or gives a damn what the "subtext" is?

It's either good advice or bad. You have to be a oversensitive goofball to care very much whether it comes from a saint or a sinner, whether it's spoken softly or yelled at you contemptuously.

Bob Boyd said...

I visited Death Valley Scotty's castle as a kid. His code was on a monument to him and for some reason I've always remembered it.

"I GOT FOUR THINGS TO LIVE BY: DON'T SAY NOTHING THAT WILL HURT ANYBODY. DON'T GIVE ADVICE -- NOBODY WILL TAKE IT ANYWAY. DON'T COMPLAIN. DON'T EXPLAIN." - Death Valley Scotty

here's a picture:
http://www.letsgoseeit.com/index/county/inyo/death_valley/loc01/scotty23_8in_30.jpg

Insufficiently Sensitive said...

Community leaders are eager to 'do something'. Zero-tolerance policies for cookie-nibbling result.

Anonymous said...

"You need to" do something may be even more repellent!

tastid212 said...

"you should do (something)" is okay as a put down, but my favorite is "Can we get on the same page?"

Unknown said...

Good grief, do we really need to go into "subtext"? Why must people assume that advice emanates from a bitchy attitude? What is it like to go through life perpetually on the lookout for reasons to feel aggrieved?

Alex said...

Crack - you're a rare person that can take unsolicited advice and follow it, assuming it's good advice. Most peoples' egos won't allow it.

kentuckyliz said...

"You should..." doesn't inspire because it doesn't well up from the inside of the person who is supposed to act on this.

Realizations and insights we have for our own selves are much more powerful and motivating.

So few people have any skill at eliciting those realizations in others through powerful questions (that aren't leading questions or questions that are dressed up suggestions).