November 23, 2013
"Don’t you just wish you were a dog, sometimes? Don’t you wish that all your intellectual human knowledge about sanitation..."
"... and all that ingrained human near-instinctive revulsion at dirt and contamination would just vanish in an instant, so you’d be free? Free of shame, free of rules, just able to eat anything you want whenever you want, to roll around on your kitchen floor and come up with a faceful of ketchup dribblings, then lie there and lazily lick it off your chin? Nobody’s watching. Nobody’s here. You can do it. You can do it right now. You’re free. You’re free."
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I wish I could eat a piece of cheese and spit out the embedded medicine tablet as deftly as my dogs do.
Earthy is healthy. Cats are too clean. They should all die. Then dogs will have more living room .
Your ideas of personal hygiene change when you get a dog.
Would that be like feeling free to fall asleep in a bikini at the beach while weighing 190 lbs, unafraid that someone might take a photo and post it on the Intertubes?
"That's a good boy!"
A few years back we had a bunch of beavers beginning to tear up an essential flood control dyke. I shot them with small-enough calibre that they went into their burrows to die.
During the drought of 2011-'12 the sloughs dried up and the dogs finally had access to the beaver burrows, where there had been a number of dead beavers for something approaching two years.
They found the burrows and carcasses, dragging them out, rolling in them, and bringing them home as "presents".
It added an order of magnitude to my understanding of "smelly dog".
In my younger days, Dylan personally asked me, "If dogs run free then not why not we".
I had no good answer then. But I'm much older than that now. I now accept the burdens that come with human intelligence and would not trade it for a dog's life.
Why do dogs lick their d*cks?
Because they can.
Peter
My dear lady, is this the second post you've made of dogs licking themselves?
My cat is smugly observing all the cat h8ers here. She's cool with that. That's all part of the plan. She then proceeds to lick her ass in their general direction, chuckling at the thought of dog owners standing out in the rain or freezing their butts off because dogs can't figure out how to piss or poop in a box.
My wife washes her hands 20 times a day but allows dogs to lick her face, knowing where they have been and what they like to lick and eat. I do not understand dog people.
The writer must not know any teenage boys.
Sigh....another bored, pampered denizen of civilization that knows not from where it came wishing for a life uninhibited by the necessities of such civilization. The writer obviously doesn't get the solitary, poor, nasty brutish and short part that comes with the loss of civilized inhibition.
" I do not understand dog people. "
I can see that. I woke up this morning nose to nose with my bassett hound.
Humans aren't supposed to do that?
You can say you're free, but nobody's as free as a Viszla (the red dog in the last post). He'll invent a rule, just so he can have the pleasure of breaking it.
Zach:
Sounds like a President I know.
You're free. You're free. And you get to live to be about 14±5 years old.
Boy, I wish I had all your problems. My SO is allergic to most dogs and cats to start with. But, then freaks out when any dog licks itself, something else, etc., and then her. She loved her dog growing up, but then apparently took enough science in junior high to learn about germs, and that was it.
She really, really, did want a dog a couple of years ago, and convinced me to spend money to buy one that she could take on the plane. But, then underestimated its size. She didn't understand that puppies don't start out toilet trained, and freaked out when she found that he really, really liked pooping indoors, and took great pains in doing so in every room in the house, no matter how hard she tried to avoid this. And, she also didn't understand that dogs don't naturally want to walk quietly to your side, but, again must be taught to do so. This may have been esp. hard, since we were at her house in fairly rural Montana, and there were a lot more fun things to investigate, esp. for a city bred puppy, than he could find walking sedately by her side. I should note that I did enjoy taking him for walks, but, then again, I wasn't nearly as structured as she when doing so.
I keep pushing for another dog, hopefully a bit bigger, and maybe a second one for company and safety (we do have bears in the neighborhood there). But possibly back in the big city for the winter, and big dogs are a problem there... Besides, she keeps reminding me of the last dog's sanitary habits, which seem to have bothered her much more than they did me.
I can't find the quote, it was either lewis grizzard or dave barry who said something to the effect of, "you can be yourself in front of a dog like you can with no other creature. You can act like any kind of fool you please and not only will he not judge you, he'll likely join in."
Why do dogs lick their balls?
Because they can.
Why do dogs lick their d!cks?
Because they can't make a fist.
I am a (horn) dog.
This is a Horne link
Back in my teenage years I had a black lab. I let her run loose one day in the back yard. She ran, and romped, barked at the birds and generally acted like a dog allowed freedom. I sat in the ground watching her, and enjoying the summer sun.
I dozed off.
I was wakened by her, clambering into my lap like she used to do as a puppy. Rubbing against me, my face, chest, etc.
And then the smell hit me. From somewhere, the bowels of hell I suspect, she had found the god-awfullest, foul, eye watering pile of something that had been shat out by a dead buzzard to roll in, and she was covering me in the same stink.
I looked like I was auditioning for a minstrel show, covered in that vile stuff.
I had to give both of us a bath using the garden hose, and dish washer soap. And it still smelled bad.
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