Althouse: "It's very emotional for me as a woman to have invested 8 years in my dream..."

April 30, 2013

"It's very emotional for me as a woman to have invested 8 years in my dream..."

"... to have a husband, soul mate, and best friend in him. So this is all hard to understand."

99 comments:

Skyler said...: Fiancée didn't know? But it sure brings him a lot if attention. People might even ignore his poor playing. Might be worth a lot of money to him.; 4/30/13, 8:17 PM
Skyler said...: And yes, I'm implying that he's lying.; 4/30/13, 8:17 PM
Sydney said...: It does seem to be the "cool" lifestyle now.; 4/30/13, 8:24 PM
edutcher said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/30/13, 8:25 PM
NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...: Uh, maybe he wasn't gay when he was engaged.; 4/30/13, 8:26 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "And yes, I'm implying that he's lying."

Implying
Imp lying
Lying by a small devil; 4/30/13, 8:26 PM
Matt said...: So, uh, what proof is there that he is gay? We now have evidence to the contrary. Is he gay or just a marketing genius!?

(For what it's worth, I believe he is gay.); 4/30/13, 8:27 PM
edutcher said...: Of course, the old wheeze about the wife being the last to know applies, but wasn't his twin brother also unaware?

Skyler said...

Fiancée didn't know? But it sure brings him a lot if attention. People might even ignore his poor playing. Might be worth a lot of money to him.

It would seem to make sense.

And yes, I'm implying that he's lying.

Don't imply it, say it outright.

I think you've got something there.; 4/30/13, 8:27 PM
SomeoneHasToSayIt said...: Hummm. Perhaps we have seen a sea change.

Not that long ago, the veracity of someone claiming to be gay lay in the observation that, given the near universal condemnation, who would say such a thing, if it weren't true?

Now that is clearly not the case. In fact perhaps the opposite So, how do we now determine that someone is telling the truth?

Video in the act, perhaps? And if not that, what?; 4/30/13, 8:27 PM
Unknown said...: It seems like a pretty risky way to get people to ignore his poor playing or get a lot of money.
If he's lying it will be difficult to sustain it for very long. I can't imagine gay people would think it's cool to use their cause so cynically.; 4/30/13, 8:27 PM
Matt said...: "Video in the act, perhaps? And if not that, what?"

No thanks, I'll just take his word for it.; 4/30/13, 8:28 PM
garage mahal said...: Gay is the the new black as far as opportunities go if you're a oppressed white guy. ESPECIALLY a white conservative dude. Then it's hopeless!; 4/30/13, 8:30 PM
m stone said...: Uh, maybe he wasn't gay when he was engaged.

Yeah, right. You and the tooth fairy.

His story hinges on the fact that he was painfully keeping this all a secret for a long time.

Grandma knew way back.; 4/30/13, 8:35 PM
Bruce Hayden said...: Well, Rush asked today if Tim Tivo came out, would the NFL have to find a team for him to play for? Would he get to start? If not, that sounds pretty homophobic.; 4/30/13, 8:36 PM
ricpic said...: How much of an Eloi did she have to be to blind herself to the innumerable danger signals the thrilling black gay guy threw in her face over the course of how many? seven years?! Actually she's damn lucky to have been rejected, though never in a million years would she ever admit to having escaped a nightmare future with her own personal Morlock.; 4/30/13, 8:37 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: 8 years? If you're looking for marriage, why would you stick with someone for 8 years? If you find Mr Right, and he hasn't popped the question within three years, and date set within another year, there's something wrong.; 4/30/13, 8:37 PM
KCFleming said...: Does Wikipedia have a separate category for women who didn't know their boyfriends were gay?; 4/30/13, 8:39 PM
Matt said...: Ignorance is Bliss said...
8 years? If you're looking for marriage, why would you stick with someone for 8 years? If you find Mr Right, and he hasn't popped the question within three years, and date set within another year, there's something wrong.

4/30/13, 8:37 PM

Agreed.

Met her in January; married her in April sans shotgun. Been married 14 years so far.; 4/30/13, 8:40 PM
KCFleming said...: White wimmens is crazy.; 4/30/13, 8:41 PM
Michael Haz said...: What are the possibilities here?

She has no gaydar.

She was a well-paid beard.

They are both gay and needed cover.

He's actually bi, but leans gay.; 4/30/13, 8:42 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: Better only 8 years than 30 years like some women I know.

Sucks being a 65 year old newly divorced wife of a newly minted fag.

Some people take longer to build up their nerve.; 4/30/13, 8:45 PM
J said...: Maybe he's that new category.You know the one characterized by the excessive completion of an intimate act with a person of any sexual persuasion.Might call it the prosexual.(AKA the horndog).; 4/30/13, 8:50 PM
Palladian said...: I don't think the wives/girlfriends of any of the "straight" guys I've ever slept with knew.; 4/30/13, 8:52 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: Often times they don't, Palladian. Occasionally they'll suspect but not want to believe, because their husband/boyfriend isn't gay. And of course most women (at least in my experience) would rather it be another woman--that's something that's...I don't want to say normal, but it's as good a word as any I suppose.

People can blind themselves to an awful lot of obvious fact.; 4/30/13, 9:01 PM
Jason said...: COURAGE!!! lulz; 4/30/13, 9:05 PM
Astro said...: Her name isn't Lennay Kekua?; 4/30/13, 9:09 PM
Birches said...: Bi who decided to cash in. This story is going to fall apart if anyone looks too closely.

Remember Anne Heche?; 4/30/13, 9:16 PM
Synova said...: In the comments somewhere else today (some advice column Instapundit links to) a lady said... if he didn't marry you in a year, dump him, he's wasting your time. (The advice was to someone who was a three-years girlfriend.)

One person jumped on her for it, but almost everyone else agreed.

It doesn't take that long to know you want to marry someone. If you're not sure in a year, maybe wasting your time on those "hopes and dreams" is a waste of time you could have spent dating.; 4/30/13, 9:20 PM
David said...: The courage came a little late to be of benefit to her.; 4/30/13, 9:22 PM
Lyle said...: She only cared about the money I bet.; 4/30/13, 9:27 PM
David said...: It's quite plausible that she did not know he was gay. He's not exactly a pansy. He's on the road a lot so has plenty of time to get his exercise. And gay does not mean that you don't have sex with women and even enjoy it.

Nevertheless letting yourself be strung along for 8 years--by a professional male athlete--was not a wise appreciation of her own self interest.

And yes I think he should have told her. By not telling her he used her quite badly for his own interests.; 4/30/13, 9:29 PM
Original Mike said...: Is this the basketball player? He lied to this woman for 8 years? That is not cool. Very selfish.; 4/30/13, 9:40 PM
Anonymous said...: I once listened to a radio show about an East German physician who was also an activist against the government. The Stasi, of course, spied on her. But what this lady doctor didn't know was that her husband of more than ten years, with whom she had had a child, was one of the spies.

People can keep secrets.; 4/30/13, 9:51 PM
bagoh20 said...: "I don't think the wives/girlfriends of any of the "straight" guys I've ever slept with knew."

If there is lots of alcohol, and you get to be the top, it doesn't count.; 4/30/13, 9:56 PM
Roux said...: What a great guy......; 4/30/13, 9:59 PM
Anonymous said...: Besides, I'm a straight white guy and even I have heard about the "down-low" scene among black males who have gay sex which they keep secret from their female partner(s).; 4/30/13, 9:59 PM
Paddy O said...: How do we know if he's telling the truth?

I mean if he said he actually was a white guy, we'd know.

It's him just saying what he wants to say. Which life is the lie? Is there a way to tell? Tell for sure, I mean.

It's just his word. Is that enough?; 4/30/13, 10:00 PM
William said...: I think Anne Heche was unnaturally attracted to the spotlight. Maybe that's part of his motivation. I don't think this is the bravest act on record since Iwo Jima. I don't see what he lost or risked by coming out.....My admiration goes to Anthony Weiner who truly risked everything by coming out of the closet. Exhibitionists everywhere took pride in his brave act.; 4/30/13, 10:01 PM
Titus said...: Did they ever fuck?

And no straight guy is going to fuck around with someone who is morbidly obese=whether it is a man or woman.; 4/30/13, 10:02 PM
Palladian said...: Straight guys don't like to fuck around with HIV-positive people either. Right, Steve?; 4/30/13, 10:12 PM
Palladian said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/30/13, 10:13 PM
Palladian said...: How does one get to be HIV-positive when one claims to have never been penetrated?

Oh, did the Althouse blog queer minstrel, whose job it is to amuse the straights and épater la bourgeoisie not think his character through very thoroughly?; 4/30/13, 10:16 PM
kentuckyliz said...: Maybe we should hook her up with Manti Teo.; 4/30/13, 10:17 PM
Palladian said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/30/13, 10:17 PM
Palladian said...: I'm royally sick of the borderline personality disorder/psychopathic bullies around here.

I've got a lot of questions for them!; 4/30/13, 10:18 PM
jacksonjay said...: So is every one still "so proud" of this POS!

Saint Barry, Queen Michelle ("got ur back), BJ Bill and Not So Chatty Chelsea?

How does one so courageous use another for 8 years?; 4/30/13, 10:32 PM
bagoh20 said...: That's a terrible 8 year waste of two very long legs. Hers, not his.; 4/30/13, 10:42 PM
bagoh20 said...: You have a name for your moisturized leather handbag? That's genius. I'll call mine...well wait, I want make this private and intimate. I'll be right back.; 4/30/13, 10:47 PM
Palladian said...: You have a name for your moisturized leather handbag? That's genius. I'll call mine...well wait, I want make this private and intimate. I'll be right back.

My moisturized leather handbag is named Steve Lee. I think yours is named Inga...; 4/30/13, 10:50 PM
John henry said...: Not only did she not know he was gay, she didn't even know he was a basketball player.

Hat tip to Ace, I think.

Seriously, is he gay or is he just saying he is gay? I don't care for BBall but from what I read he was pretty mediocre and getting to the end of his career.

Did he find out that he was just about to be released? Might claiming to be gay put the team on the spot. If they release him now, he can claim it was done by those homophobic bastards in the front office just because he is gay.

John Henry; 4/30/13, 10:56 PM
bagoh20 said...: " I think yours is named Inga..."

You bastard! Where's that camera, and how did you sneak it in here? This is really embarrassing. Did you see the part where I slapped it around a little, and yelled in German. I'm not usually like that, but I assumed some things, and got no complaints.; 4/30/13, 10:57 PM
Palladian said...: You bastard! Where's that camera, and how did you sneak it in here?

Remember that print?; 4/30/13, 10:59 PM
Paddy O said...: I think Bill Clinton is going to come out as the first openly gay president.; 4/30/13, 11:03 PM
bagoh20 said...: "Remember that print?"

Ahh yes, and it was very nicely rapped. I love it, BTW.; 4/30/13, 11:05 PM
bagoh20 said...: I want a lesbian President - a scary ass, big dike, Islamist shaking bitch of a President. Margret Thatcher in a camo wife beater with a buzz cut.; 4/30/13, 11:09 PM
Known Unknown said...: Remember Anne Heche?

NBC is propping her up in a new 'comedy?' about a woman with all sorts of sins who becomes a prophet after divine intervention.

I give it six episodes at best.; 4/30/13, 11:19 PM
Known Unknown said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/30/13, 11:20 PM
Known Unknown said...: I guess no one remembers John Amaechi; 4/30/13, 11:21 PM
bagoh20 said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 4/30/13, 11:28 PM
Anonymous said...: Seriously, is he gay or is he just saying he is gay? I don't care for BBall but from what I read he was pretty mediocre and getting to the end of his career

John: Powerline addressed your point this evening:

...it is easy to imagine that Collins has had a rough time of it in “the closet”. So if “coming out” helps him and/or similarly situated professional athletes, then great.

The disclosure may raise a conundrum next season, though. Collins has very little to offer on the basketball court these days. This season, at age 34, he held down the final roster spot on a poor basketball team — my Washington Wizards. For the season, he averaged 1 point and 1.5 rebounds per game. His shooting percentage was an awful .310.

Old players with numbers like that very seldom make an NBA team the following year. In the normal course of things, Collins’ professional career would almost certainly be over.

But the NBA, or one or more particular team, may want Collins to remain in the League as a testament to its tolerance. Thus, his “coming out” conceivably could prolong his career.; 4/30/13, 11:29 PM
Bob Ellison said...: Many pundits seem not to understand just how non-gay most men are. It's not fuzzy math or a debatable question for 97% of us. We love women and get excited when a woman smiles at us.; 4/30/13, 11:30 PM
Icepick said...: Video in the act, perhaps? And if not that, what?

First, all we need is a note from his doctor stating that he's been treated for a prolapsed sphincter.

...

As for doing it for the money: Perhaps. But he's made 32.8 million as a career back-up, he's a Stanford guy, and he's connected. He's not hurting for money unless he has problems much more severe than being a gay man in a sport that's all about putting a ball in a hole.

People have been pushing for someone in big time American sports to come out for months. My guess is that at this point in his career he decided that he would probably make a better "face" for gay men in professional American team sports than some oaf. Kind of like how everyone remembers Rosa Parks and forgets about Claudette Colvin. Plus, he's got all kinds of cover because of his political connections. Seriously, how many people have ties to the Kennedys and the Clintons, and you know Barry O is going to be all over this. (So to speak.)

And if all kinds of new opportunities open up because of this, that's just a plus that a smart Standford man will exploit because that's what they do.; 4/30/13, 11:31 PM
ampersand said...: Were any GLBTRAGGMOPP groups offering cash for coming out?
Perhaps he's gay for pay?; 4/30/13, 11:35 PM
jacksonjay said...: I want a lesbian President - a scary ass, big dike, Islamist shaking bitch of a President.

Let have her wear a dildo, too!; 4/30/13, 11:37 PM
Anonymous said...: People have been pushing for someone in big time American sports to come out for months. My guess is that at this point in his career he decided that he would probably make a better "face" for gay men in professional American team sports than some oaf.

Icepick: I'll go you one better: I wonder if the Clintons didn't contact him with the idea first.; 4/30/13, 11:39 PM
Icepick said...: Who the fuck is Steve Lee?; 4/30/13, 11:39 PM
Icepick said...: creeley, the thought has occurred to me that SOMEONE told him he would be the right guy at the right time.

Seriously, he's a apparently fairly articulate, seems to do well in front of the camera, went to Stanford for four years so I'm assuming he's fairly smart, has a decent family background as best I can tell (not raised by a single mom on welfare in the projects, doesn't have a name like Courvosier Winetavius Richardson), has made a good amount of money in the league and is nearing the end of his career as a back-up. He can come out, and be the face of gays in big time American team sports and carry it well. Or so goes a line of thinking.

On the other hand, there are some football players who are rumored to be gay who are complete idiots. (I won't name names because they are just rumors, after all.) One of those guys comes out and starts sounding like as big an idiot as some of his detractors, and that's not going to go so well.

So yeah, I can see someone in the background telling him to step-up. The only problem with this is that there isn't a Big Gay Cabal in the background running these things. And they don't have a big public organization to organize these things like the NAACP and other groups did for black civil rights in decades past.

So whatever....; 4/30/13, 11:47 PM
Icepick said...: As for Carolyn Moos, she really did lose a lot of time that she might not be able to afford to lose. She's 6'6" tall - men get intimidated by taller women, and only about 5% of men in this country are 6'3" or taller. I image the number is possibly under 1% for those 6'6" or taller. Her opportunities are already limited in that regard, and it was a damned shame to waste her time like that. Hopefully she'll find that special someone anyway....; 4/30/13, 11:54 PM
Anonymous said...: Icepick: Nicely spotted. You've thought this through.

The only problem with this is that there isn't a Big Gay Cabal in the background running these things.

I doubt there is a formal Big Gay Cabal, but I'm sure there is a very savvy network of liberal gays working together behind the scene. Consider how smoothly the whole gay marriage movement has coalesced into a formidable force. I don't think it's just an "idea whose time has come."

I once did a small software project working with Tim Gill, founder of Quark. He sold off his share of the company for millions and set up the Gill Foundation devoted LGBT issues. Now Time magazine advertises Gill as "the gay mogul changing US politics."

I'm sure he's peanuts compared to what Hollywood gays and their supporters are doing.; 5/1/13, 12:01 AM
Petunia said...: So he's either bisexual or lying, but he's not simply "gay".

What we DO know is that he is a jerk. He was dishonest with his girlfriend/fiancee for EIGHT YEARS.

He's also not particularly brave. The NBA requires that all 10+-year veterans make a minimum of about $1.3 million per year. So he's made millions of dollars during his not-so-distinguished career, and if he's invested it wisely, he will never have to work again. So he's really taking no financial risk in claiming to be gay.

He's also officially a free agent soon, so he's not posing problems for any particular team. But if no team signs him, he can then claim that the management/coach/culture of whatever team(s) are homophobic. If HE doesn't claim that, someone will, and of course, if anyone disagrees, that person MUST be a homophobic bigot.; 5/1/13, 12:09 AM
bagoh20 said...: @EDM - 11:21pm

"In a groundbreaking revelation that began to reverberate around the NBA on Wednesday, former player John Amaechi has become the first professional basketball player to openly identify himself as gay." -
Feb. 2007.

The courage of Collins 6 years later is amazing. At the time, he was faking and lying to his fiance'.; 5/1/13, 12:18 AM
Anonymous said...: If this is Collins' last pro year as seems likely, it stinks. He is just laying the foundation for a profitable second career as a gay celebrity-spokesman.; 5/1/13, 12:21 AM
Icepick said...: I doubt there is a formal Big Gay Cabal, but I'm sure there is a very savvy network of liberal gays working together behind the scene

The only problem with that is how is the Big Gay Cabal (Palladian, are you getting any of that action?) plugged into the NBA scene. Of course, that gets us to Stanford, Chelsea Clinton and (much more importantly) that Kennedy guy.

(I can't keep those people straight*. "There's Bobby and Jackie and Jack. And myriads more in the back.")

*AHEM!; 5/1/13, 12:57 AM
Tom from Virginia said...: There's something happening here.
What it is ain't exactly clear.; 5/1/13, 4:38 AM
Brian Brown said...: And gay does not mean that you don't have sex with women and even enjoy it.

Hilarious.

And here I thought you were born gay, being gay means you attracted to the opposite sex, and us breeders are like icky & gross!!!

I knew that it was only a matter of time until "gay" became a meaningless term because the left are involved.

Note: you people are refuting every argument you've made about homosexuality in the last 10 years. And it is hilarious to watch.; 5/1/13, 6:17 AM
Brian Brown said...: What would be funny is if he had a press conference next week announcing to the media how he punked them and he feels group think is a big problem in America.

That would be epic.; 5/1/13, 6:26 AM
AllenS said...: Most people don't care about this one way or another. A large population of people will hate his guts if he comes out that he belongs to the Tea Party, though.; 5/1/13, 7:36 AM
Michael Haz said...: Jason Collins is due to be a free agent?

Someone call Herb Kohl.; 5/1/13, 8:02 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: Shame on him. That's bad.

All I got.; 5/1/13, 8:11 AM
Anonymous said...: I've suspected Charles Barkley for a long time.; 5/1/13, 8:22 AM
Darrell said...: Carolyn Moos can waste the rest of her life with me. I'll even sign a pre-nup to that effect.; 5/1/13, 8:37 AM
Icepick said...: I've suspected Charles Barkley for a long time.

Dude, that is so wrong! I've seen Sir Charles in action - I can see using one woman as a beard, but several? I saw him in a bar in a ritzy Hollywood hotel about nine years back with VERY hot blondes on each arm, neither of whom was his wife. He was basking in it, as would just about any straight male.; 5/1/13, 8:47 AM
ndspinelli said...: Haz, You know they had to throw Kohl out of the locker room for staring, don't you!; 5/1/13, 8:48 AM
ndspinelli said...: AllenS, I'm going to see the Brewers today. It's Sr. day..half price.; 5/1/13, 8:49 AM
ndspinelli said...: This poor woman plays in a lesbian league. She hooks up w/ one of the few gays in a quite hetereo league. She should NEVER gamble.; 5/1/13, 8:51 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: Being sexually attracted to someone other than your fiancé is no bar to marriage.; 5/1/13, 8:51 AM
lemondog said...: Not convinced he is lying but IF he is, then his aptitude for lying is a necessary skill if his aspirations are for political office.; 5/1/13, 9:01 AM
Unknown said...: She cares about him and wants the best for him and blah blah. Even the woman to whom he lied, wasting years of her time and cynically trashing her hopes, dares to speak no ill of a brave homosexual as he emerges from the closet.

Simple villainy may reemerge as a fit subject of consideration with regard to gays but, as of now, they're the untouchable pampered favorites of the powerful and may not have their faults pointed out. I suppose there is some attraction in it but it's also patronizing in the extreme. It's gotten so bad that I wonder how often people claim to be gay seeking some social advantage in it.

I suppose it would be claimed that he was lying to his self as well all those years. This particular lie is one that a lot of homos indulge in at one time or another. She's lucky his self indulgent and destructive secrecy didn't result in more problems for her than just the nagging questions he left behind him.; 5/1/13, 9:25 AM
Anonymous said...: In retrospect, maybe the fact that he would never have sex with her unless she wore a Kobe Bryant Lakers uniform might have been a clue.; 5/1/13, 9:45 AM
Unknown said...: Not sure how someone abets adultery can be a crybaby about "bullies".; 5/1/13, 10:15 AM
Rocketeer said...: Based on his stats, I'd find it more believable that she dated him for 8 years and didn't know he played in the NBA.; 5/1/13, 10:55 AM
Methadras said...: ndspinelli said...

This poor woman plays in a lesbian league. She hooks up w/ one of the few gays in a quite hetereo league. She should NEVER gamble.

Actually she should gamble. Bitch hit the lottery of fail. It can only get better from here.; 5/1/13, 11:05 AM
jr565 said...: JOhn Lynch wrote:
Uh, maybe he wasn't gay when he was engaged.

That implies people can change their preference. So a straight person can go gay, and a gay person can go straight?
Someone better tell Lady Gaga.; 5/1/13, 11:34 AM
Michael Haz said...: Nick - Yep. If ever we have a beer, I'll tell you stories sourced from my bother while an MPD copper.; 5/1/13, 11:46 AM
furious_a said...: I can't imagine gay people would think it's cool to use their cause so cynically.

Jim McGreevey used it to beat a prison sentence and land an HBO special.; 5/1/13, 1:17 PM
Anonymous said...: This has always been my point with Christians who think it is alterable. Would you want your daughter to marry someone in the closest or even openly trying to change and build her life and family around him? No?

Although I have to say that two of the most stable, happiest older couples I know were couples from the in the closest days - no kids, $$$, happiness, decorating.; 5/1/13, 1:28 PM
AllenS said...: I'm listening to the game on the radio. No TV broadcast for this game. I hear it's about 80º there and the roof is open, Nick.

IT'S FUCKING SNOWING HERE!; 5/1/13, 2:29 PM
ndspinelli said...: FUCKING AXFORD! Ruined a beautiful day @ the ballpark.; 5/1/13, 4:48 PM
jr565 said...: It sounds more like he's bi than gay. Because I being a straight guy can't imagine getting tuned on if I were having sex with a dude. Yet, he had sex with his fiancee for 8 years. There therefore had to be some attraction to girls. At least enough to give him a rise.; 5/1/13, 4:53 PM