Walt Disney has a lot to answer for. He, more that any perhaps, is responsible for getting people to believe that wild animals are peaceable and harmless creatures that can be treated like newborn puppies.
I pictured a paparazzi getting hit by a car while trying to take Beavers picture... or the paparazzi maybe falling into an open manhole as he was moving and not paying too much attention to anything other than the human Beaver.
Did I ever tell you people that I was almost taken out by a beaver? About 5 years ago, I was on my way up to St. Croix Falls, and right before the Osceola Gun Club, there is some low swampy area north of Lotus Lake, and a beaver had a poplar tree chewed through which fell right in front of my GEO Metro car. I was able to stop in time and no damage, but wholly fuck. Who knew beavers were so dangerous?
Is that a beaver in your pocket, or are you just trying to kill me?
Think of how much more gruesome the death would have been if the beaver had encountered an overachieving homosexual who wanted a bigger thrill than hamsters,
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51 comments:
Ominous.
What next? A killer clam?
Frank: Nice beaver!
Jane: Thanks, I just had it stuffed.
I liked this other item at the link:
a Komodo dragon "sunk its teeth into" an 83-year-old Indonesian woman on Tuesday -- but she was able to fend it off.
It's a shame no doctor got to stitch him up and say "Another half-inch to the right and you'd be dead."
Is this related to your earlier post about the yoni, Ann?
Frank: Nice beaver!
Jane: Thanks, I just had it stuffed.
Some of the best lines ever in comedy.
Bitten to death by a beaver. Paging Dr. Freud . . . .
It is said that some men have nightmares about beavers with teeth.
Jeff Foxworthy tells a story of a guy who got his nipple bitten off by a beaver.
Walt Disney has a lot to answer for. He, more that any perhaps, is responsible for getting people to believe that wild animals are peaceable and harmless creatures that can be treated like newborn puppies.
If it will save one life, ban beavers!
At least it didn't bite off his nipple.
Every young man in America dreams of death by beaver. Sometimes you get your wish.
We don't hear much from Loafing Oaf these days.
Similar fate?
Vagina dentata...
Wait, is this not word association?
Belarus?! Sheesh, everyone knows Belarus has the only carnivorous, perdatory beavers in the world. Of the animal kind, that is.
What's the lesson, use a telephoto lens?
How many times I got to tell you morons? Don't annoy the wildlife.
Take a lesson? Yes, know how to use a tourniquet.
Women too.
Free the Beavers!
After hundreds of years of trapping, skinning and hat making from your family's skin , you to would attack the silly white men on sight.
This is why women are not invited to cock fights.
I thought this story was about the human Beaver.
I pictured a paparazzi getting hit by a car while trying to take Beavers picture... or the paparazzi maybe falling into an open manhole as he was moving and not paying too much attention to anything other than the human Beaver.
You should add your re-direction tag.
Truth?
I'm sorry it was not my version of events?
I hope whatever made this beaver react this way isn't contagious. If beaver photography becomes dangerous we'll all suffer.
...but as he approached to take a photograph, the beaver bit him on the thigh."
How does a beaver manage to bite a man's thigh? Was he lying on the ground?
chickelit said...
We don't hear much from Loafing Oaf these days.
That's not fair.
Sarah Palin's doesn't have teeth!
Maybe the photographer flashed a woody and the beaver mistook it for a log.
Where's Peter?
One should also be careful when taking photos of landing strips.
"Maybe the photographer flashed a woody and the beaver mistook it for a log."
Beavers are nearsighted.
Inga FTW!
a Komodo dragon "sunk its teeth into" an 83-year-old Indonesian woman on Tuesday -- but she was able to fend it off.
Fended it off, eh. So how long did it take her to die?
Wasn't this beaver in charge of security at Mitch McConnell's reelect?
You were a little hard on the Beaver last night, Ward.
Komodo dragon authority Bob and Ray
Leave It To Whitey
The Beaver monologues.
Hey, you just lost a regular reader. Good luck in your future endeavors.
I vant to be alone.....I just VANT to be alone.....
The lesson is to not back down, the beaver is testing you. If it tries to bite you, go for the field goal.
Seriously; a beaver joke?
Never look a beaver in the eye, that's like a challenger to a ghetto gangbanger.
Did I ever tell you people that I was almost taken out by a beaver? About 5 years ago, I was on my way up to St. Croix Falls, and right before the Osceola Gun Club, there is some low swampy area north of Lotus Lake, and a beaver had a poplar tree chewed through which fell right in front of my GEO Metro car. I was able to stop in time and no damage, but wholly fuck. Who knew beavers were so dangerous?
Is that a beaver in your pocket, or are you just trying to kill me?
It is well known that beavers can bite through wood...
A lesson for men only? I guess if a woman takes a picture of a beaver it's considered a self-portrait?
bagoh20 said...
The lesson is to not back down, the beaver is testing you. If it tries to bite you, go for the field goal.
Do you have any idea how big those things get?
And the animal can get pretty big too.
Do all of you people--ALL of you--not realize what is meted out to people who make such puns?
PUNishment..
Outlaw beavers!!
Or at least magazines that have a high capacity for them.
Think of how much more gruesome the death would have been if the beaver had encountered an overachieving homosexual who wanted a bigger thrill than hamsters,
Just another beaver-eats-man news story.
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