Althouse: "The moment that hamster was handed off to a screaming girl in a harsh, frenzied environment was likely the moment it gazed at the short path to its doom."

March 14, 2013

"The moment that hamster was handed off to a screaming girl in a harsh, frenzied environment was likely the moment it gazed at the short path to its doom."

Predicted doom met.

53 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...: I would have thought a gerbil.; 3/14/13, 11:43 AM
Mr. Colby said...: So... this isn't the daily Gatsby quote?; 3/14/13, 11:45 AM
Anonymous said...: I thought Bieber WAS the hamster.; 3/14/13, 11:49 AM
SteveR said...: Cats have the same effect on hamsters.; 3/14/13, 11:50 AM
robinintn said...: Isn't the purpose of hamsters to teach young children about death?; 3/14/13, 11:51 AM
Revenant said...: I love that sentence.; 3/14/13, 11:57 AM
William said...: Bieber gets mocked more than the Pope.; 3/14/13, 12:03 PM
rhhardin said...: He gets an eternal wheel.; 3/14/13, 12:05 PM
Oso Negro said...: It is a crackerjack sentence, but you could substitute in damn near any creature that walks the earth as the subject. Example - "The moment that neonate was handed off to a screaming girl in a harsh, frenzied environment was likely the moment it gazed at the short path to its doom."; 3/14/13, 12:07 PM
Nomennovum said...: Is the hamster in this tale a metaphor for a bridegroom?; 3/14/13, 12:08 PM
Nonapod said...: Animal rights group The California Hamster Association

Is that made up? I can't believe that's a thing.; 3/14/13, 12:08 PM
Nomennovum said...: Beiber really needs to be cut some slack. He's only a kid (albeit Canadian).

What sickens me about his treatment (in the media and in the web) is this piling-on. People smell blood and then go in for the kill. Humans are worse than sharks.

This simple fact fact that so many people that I can't stand can't stand Beiber makes me sympathetic to the guy.; 3/14/13, 12:13 PM
Rob said...: Richard Gere was unavailable for comment.; 3/14/13, 12:22 PM
Amartel said...: I thought this would be a follow up post to the one a few days ago about the disabled Grand Valley Community College student and her mental security hamster.; 3/14/13, 12:23 PM
Jed Sorokin-Altmann said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/14/13, 12:24 PM
Jed Sorokin-Altmann said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/14/13, 12:24 PM
Ann Althouse said...: The moment... was the moment...

Do you like that kind of sentence structure?

It has a comic feel that I don't think the speaker intended.; 3/14/13, 12:25 PM
Jed Sorokin-Altmann said...: Argh. My apologies for the double post.

The press coverage seems remarkably unfair to Tori McClure, the 18-year-old woman Justin Bieber handed the hamster to. If the hamster passed away from chronic renal failure, this was not Ms. McClure's fault. When the hamster started losing its hair, she brought him to a veterinarian. She didn't ignore the symptoms, or think vets were too expensive, she did the responsible thing.

Pets die. No matter how much you love them, and no matter how much care you take, unless your pet is a tortoise, odds are high you'll outlive your pet.; 3/14/13, 12:25 PM
Anonymous said...: The California Hamster Association has a website, at least.

When I'm not adult babying, the CHA is where I'm at.

Too many hamsters are trod underfoot, eaten by cats, or led by teens to their doom.

Rights for hamsterkind!; 3/14/13, 12:30 PM
tim maguire said...: I don't understand this article. It's a joke, right? His "beloved" hamster, the one he gave away to a stranger in a parking lot died several months later.

How long are they supposed to live, anyway?; 3/14/13, 12:44 PM
JAL said...: Hamsters have remarkably short life spans even in the best of circumstances.; 3/14/13, 12:49 PM
JAL said...: I've done CPR on two.; 3/14/13, 12:49 PM
Crunchy Frog said...: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.; 3/14/13, 12:50 PM
JAL said...: Didn't DBQ do CPR on a hamster also? Or am I confusing her with another commenter.

I know the mom in Jersey State (or whatever that truly weird movie was) did.; 3/14/13, 12:52 PM
JAL said...: "Garden State" -- (the movie) sorry.

Same difference.; 3/14/13, 12:53 PM
JAL said...: What is it about celebrityhood that makes people creepy?; 3/14/13, 12:54 PM
traditionalguy said...: Beiber seems to be the eternal child that is sexual symbol in a male form instead of a Gigi female form.

Heck with the Romans; the Greeks are back.; 3/14/13, 1:05 PM
edutcher said...: He looked up and said, "Ave Imperatore, te morituri salutamus".; 3/14/13, 1:09 PM
Revenant said...: Justin Bieber's music is pretty good if you slow it down to 1/8 speed.

I'm serious -- look it up on YouTube.; 3/14/13, 1:10 PM
Rabel said...: Q. How do you say hamster in Equadorian?

A. Hors d'oeuvre.

If you had a hamster, would you hamster in the morning? In the evening? All over this land?; 3/14/13, 1:18 PM
KJE said...: Girls' rationalization hamster allows real hamster to die?

Hamsterbation!; 3/14/13, 1:18 PM
traditionalguy said...: Why are there no football teams named "the Hamsters?" We have a Badgers Team name.

Last year one of the Badgers cutely named Montee was beaten while scurrying across campus.; 3/14/13, 1:24 PM
Baron Zemo said...: You want to see a hamster freak out?

Whisper two words to him.

Richard Gere.

Or one word.

Titus.; 3/14/13, 4:03 PM
Baron Zemo said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3/14/13, 4:04 PM
Oso Negro said...: Oh Ann, it is indeed redundant and unintentionally comic. But can't you take simple pleasure in the image of a hamster gazing at its short path to doom?; 3/14/13, 4:14 PM
KCFleming said...: Hamster, we hardly knew ye.; 3/14/13, 4:31 PM
Unknown said...: At it's very best a hamster's life is just a short path to doom. This one got to have a brush with greatness. Lucky hamster.; 3/14/13, 4:46 PM
rcommal said...: I'm put in mind of that Brady Brunch episode where--Marcia, was it?--said she'd never wash her--face, was it?--again. Or something like that. It's all getting so vague, so misty, so that was so back there and then. Whatever. Surely you know what I mean.; 3/14/13, 5:17 PM
Rabel said...: Please don't hate me, but - Memories; 3/14/13, 5:49 PM
Anonymous said...: Naked Hamster Robot says:

People Big. Some Scary. Forget to Food Me Sometimes. Food.; 3/14/13, 6:14 PM
Anonymous said...: Wheel. Must run on Wheel. The smell of cedar shavings. Food.; 3/14/13, 6:15 PM
Anonymous said...: Push ball in Tube with tongue. Get water. Water comes down. Water always there. Mostly. Not always Food.; 3/14/13, 6:17 PM
Anonymous said...: Big People pick me up, make squeaky noises with their mouth. I do not understand.; 3/14/13, 6:18 PM
Anonymous said...: I poop in their Hand. They laugh. Want cage. Want back in cage.; 3/14/13, 6:19 PM
Anonymous said...: Do not put me on Table. I run, People put Hand in way. Once, twice, more.

Hand smells of Cat.

Put me in Cage.; 3/14/13, 6:21 PM
Anonymous said...: They hold Cat up. Cat squirms. Cat Looks at me. Paw twitches.

Want cage now. Want back in cage. Now.; 3/14/13, 6:24 PM
Anonymous said...: This is Not Fun. I do not understand Fun. I understand Wheel. I understand Food. Wheel and Food is both in Cage.; 3/14/13, 6:25 PM
Anonymous said...: Each Day are the Little Terrors. Loud noises. Cat swatting at Cage. Light on, Light Off. Pulled out of Cage when Not wanting out of Cage. No Sense. When will Food Come.; 3/14/13, 6:33 PM
Anonymous said...: Do Not Bite the Big People, no matter What They Do. High in air. No Control.; 3/14/13, 6:34 PM
Anonymous said...: Outside Dog barks. Will they Let Dog inside? I wait.; 3/14/13, 6:36 PM
rcommal said...: betamax3000:

You ought to look up Ken Nordine. (If you're not already familiar with him, of course.); 3/14/13, 6:44 PM
Michael K said...: My oldest daughter had a hamster named "Happy." One morning when she was about 9, she was very upset. The dog, a weimariner, had licked Happy to death. No wounds, just slobber.

She was very traumatized. I can tell because she became a lawyer.; 3/14/13, 7:30 PM
Anga2010 said...: It's vermin. Good riddance.; 3/15/13, 1:18 AM