Althouse: "A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.'"

December 25, 2011

"A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.'"

"But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college."

— Amy Chua.

13 comments:

Mark said...: Raising a generation that feels good about itself no matter how badly it screws up is probably a mistake.

Make that "was".; 12/25/11, 5:42 PM
Anonymous said...: Why the wholly unnecessary prepositional phrase at the end of the quote?; 12/25/11, 6:17 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "Why the wholly unnecessary prepositional phrase at the end of the quote?"

For those following the saga of Amy Chua... her older daughter just went to college.; 12/25/11, 6:26 PM
edutcher said...: Slow but sure, I think the younger generations are discovering the virtues of their great-grandparents.

At least the smart ones are.

A good sense of shame and responsibility are part of what makes a good adult.; 12/25/11, 6:29 PM
Robert Cook said...: When my brothers and I were small, my father used to chide us for untoward behavior by asking, "What do you think other people will say about the Cook boys when they see you behaving that way?"

He made us aware very early that one's behavior is scrutinized--and judged--others.

Once our neighbors were away and we went over to their small above-ground pool and tossed dirt clods into it...not to be malicious, but because we enjoyed watching the dirt clods slowly disintegrate in the water from solid chunks into clouds of loose dirt. When the neighbors returned and discovered the dirt sediment in their pool, they asked around about it and we admitted to the deed to our parents. They required us to go to the neighbors and apologize and I believe we may have had to clean or help clean up the pool.

We were raised to be and were very well behaved children and my parents did not have to employ corporal punishment to achieve that result.; 12/25/11, 6:58 PM
NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...: Charles Murray for man years has pointed out the phenomenon of the upper, educated classes adhering to a morality that's been abandoned by everyone else. They stay married and demand achievement from their children.

And, amazingly, their children succeed.

Yet these same people vote for social policies that encourage the opposite.; 12/25/11, 8:15 PM
Mike and Sue said...: John Lynch that is so true!

"Yet these same people(traditional values folks) vote for social policies that encourage the opposite"

I can't tell you how many of my liberal friends live like Ward and June Cleaver but foist the worst social maladies upon the body politic via their voting habits. Almost seems intentional. (New math for other kids, but not their own); 12/25/11, 8:23 PM
Anonymous said...: What I'd really like to know is whether Amy Chua is shaved. Asian women are among the very few women today who sometimes remain in their delicious natural states (NSFW link, duh). But has a thoroughly Americanized Asian woman like Chua also been lured in by American shaving habits? Inquiring minds want to know.

Peter; 12/25/11, 9:02 PM
bagoh20 said...: On the others side of that coin, people like me talk a tough love game, but tend to be very liberal when faced with the failings of people close to us.

I just caught an employee stealing substantial money from me last week, and I didn't fire them. Instead, took away their ability to steal, and put them on a repayment plan that will take over 2 years to repay me if they continue to work for me. This softness and (frankly injustice) is eating me up, but I just can't fire a family's breadwinner, knowing how much it will hurt others who did nothing wrong.; 12/25/11, 9:09 PM
bagoh20 said...: Peter, as a supporter of your quixotic endeavor to change the course of hystory, I've missed you, and wish you success.; 12/25/11, 9:14 PM
Anonymous said...: @bagoh20 -

Thank you for your words of support. Much of the time I feel like a lonely voice crying out in the wilderness (or, more precisely, the denuded wilderness), it's comforting to know that I'm not totally alone on my quest.

Whenever I'm at my lowest moments of despair, I tell myself that fashions change. It's the one thing that keeps me (somewhat) sane.

Peter; 12/25/11, 9:28 PM
Mark said...: On a serious note, what makes anyone think that there is one "correct" way to shape childrens' behavior? My wife and I are blessed with twins, and what should be obvious to anyone who has known more than one person in their lives is even more abundantly clear to parents of twins:

Every one is different.

The levers that work for one child are total different from those that work for another. And yet, our kids are doing pretty well by everyone's observation. So why should anyone expect that there would exist a set of "best practices" that work equally well for everyone?

Reposted after deleting an ad hominem that did nothing to advance my argument.; 12/25/11, 9:54 PM
n.n said...: This is where America started. This is where Americans must return, if they hope to avoid a return to slavery or slave-like conditions.

If Americans want to live off the product of yesterday's labor, then that is their choice; but, they should be aware that other people are not resting on their laurels, and they share similar dreams and some which are strictly incompatible.

It has been dreams of physical, material, and ego instant gratification, which have lead to the progressive decay of our society. The decay is accelerated when those dreams are fulfilled through, principally, redistributive and retributive change, but also through fraudulent exploitation.

Of course, the decay has been exacerbated with policies put forth which denigrate individual dignity and devalue human life.

If we continue to follow our current path, the historical cycles of creation and destruction are assured.; 12/26/11, 1:27 AM